Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1040 - Brian Regan
Uploaded: 2017-11-15T23:56:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1040 - Brian Regan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1040 - Brian Regan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-15. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1040 - Brian Regan

Ladies and gentlemen, coming at you live from sunny California, it's Brian Regan!
Joe!
How are you, brother?
Great, man.
How are you?
Long time, man.
I haven't seen you in, like, what, a year and a half or something?
Something like that.
I see you've got a new place here, and congratulations.
Thank you, sir.
Very nice.
Thank you.
It's huge.
It's a big spot.
Got big plans, big plans.
Apparently.
We want to have a lot of fun here.
Yeah.
Make it a big old fun house.
Yeah, that's what they were saying.
You're putting games in and...
All kinds of crazy stuff.
Yeah.
Virtual hunting.
Well, it's an archery game.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
You use an actual compound bow.
It's called Techno Hunt.
And do you ever see those?
Do you play golf?
Yes.
You do.
You know those games where you whack the golf ball into the screen and a
virtual golf ball
rolls around?
Yes.
They have one of those for archery.
You actually use a regular compound bow, and you shoot it at the screen.
And when the tips, instead of using a regular arrow tip, you use this flat tip.
It's like the head of a tack.
And here it is.
Powerful Jamie.
And so you shoot it at the screen, and it shows you these animals that you'd be
hunting.
And you use an actual bow, and where it hits, it shows you whether or not it's
a good impact.
Like that right there was perfect.
Wow.
Yeah.
And it shows the arrow impact.
It shows how fast the arrow's going.
So you're getting that put in here?
That's going to be put in here, too.
Very nice.
Not in this room.
Out there.
In the whole major complex.
Yeah, we're going to do a bunch of shit here.
I feel like, it's like, there's so many, there's so much opportunity now on the
internet
to do things, to do content.
I'm going to do a weekly MMA show.
Now that people know, I've decided that.
It's my new thing.
Weekly.
Weekly MMA breakdown.
Every week.
So much stuff's going on.
How big is your resume?
How many things?
You've got so many, so many things.
Well, I'm not adding any things.
I'm not adding any things.
I'm just doing stuff.
Yeah, but I've told people, and this is going to sound like I'm, you have been
successful
at so many different things, it's quite amazing.
I mean, you have the stand-up career, successful stand-up career.
You were on a sitcom, a hit sitcom, right?
You did Fear Factor, hit show, right?
And then you do the, what is it, WW, what's the wrestling?
I don't know anything about wrestling.
UFC.
UFC.
Ultimate Fighting Championship.
You do that?
You've got this podcast?
Yeah.
I'm crazy.
I have problems.
That's pretty, pretty, pretty impressive.
It's not.
I have mental problems, and I've figured out how to boil them down into a
healthy mixture
of activities that keeps me friendly and sane and kind and generous.
That's what I do.
Good for you.
Just keep moving.
Just got to keep moving.
Got to keep moving.
Keep my caveman brain engaged.
Well, congratulations on everything.
What's going on with you, man?
You still living in Vegas?
Mm-hmm.
You fucking madman.
You're like the nicest guy ever to live in Vegas.
Everybody in Vegas is like, got a gamble.
I'm fucking going crazy.
I need a Ferrari.
I want a bigger yacht.
No.
I just...
My kids are in Vegas.
I like living in Vegas, but I don't really do the Vegas thing the way other
people think.
Well, that's a big misconception, right?
A lot of people believe that if you live in Vegas, you've got to be like a nutty
gambler,
a crazy person.
Right, right.
Going to the clubs.
Yeah.
I have white tigers at home.
Exactly.
You know what I mean?
Hanging out with Wayne Newton.
Closet full of rhinestone capes.
Ooh.
I would love to see you.
I mean, I do have that, but I don't wear them all the time.
You know what I mean?
That would be awesome if you switched it up.
I'm going to start.
My next show...
This weekend, I promise, I'll be wearing rhinestone capes on stage.
This is what I want to see from you.
I want to see abalone shell glasses, like the outside.
Just like a real glistening, iridescent glasses.
And then just plumes.
Lots of feathers.
Yeah.
And go on stage and do the same act.
Yeah.
Same act.
It'd be fucking amazing.
Going, what's with sprinkles on donuts?
And go, is that abalone?
He's wearing abalone shades.
Yeah.
People take your pictures.
It'd be all this glistening and reflection off of the frames.
I just feel like you could switch it up.
Yeah.
Maybe one day.
Right now, I like doing it the way I do it, but it'll be my ace in the hole.
I love what you're doing, because you're a guy that has been steadily
performing on a
record, and you've built this massive following where you do these big, giant
places.
Dude, you did Red Rock in Colorado.
That's fucking huge.
That's a giant place.
I was humbled and honored to be able to perform there.
It's a beautiful venue, obviously.
It's amazing.
Have you performed there, or seen a show there?
I haven't.
No.
I'm actually in Colorado on Friday, and I'm booking Red Rock for a year and a
half out in
the future.
That's my next gig I'm doing in Colorado.
It's going to be Red Rock.
Oh, well, it's amazing.
I've heard it's awesome.
Yeah.
Years ago, when I was performing-
Look at that.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, just look at the fucking, the beauty in that place.
I mean, you're surrounded by these natural rock formations.
Goddamn, I fucking love Colorado.
I love it.
And to stand on that stage and look up at the, oh, that's me.
Oh, wow.
Look at that.
You sign your name on the wall.
Yeah.
Dude.
I never sign it big.
See how small it is?
You're a sweetie.
That's why.
I never want to sign it big.
Look at the fucking, oh my God.
So that's how people sit?
That was when I was there.
That's when I was there.
So you don't have a signed seating?
You just kind of jam in there?
No, no, no.
I think it's a signed seating.
Oh, because it looks like giant bench seating.
It is bench seating, but they have like, it's numbered off.
Oh, okay.
I think.
Fuck, that's awesome.
And you did it kind of in the daytime?
No, it started in the daytime.
I think that was Joe Bolster opening for me.
Who did this video?
It was people who did my webpage put the video together.
Jamie, we need to do something like this.
For sure.
Let's do it.
So by the time I hit the stage, you can see it was dark.
Fuck, man.
This is amazing.
Holy shit, dude.
What is the sound like?
We have it dark because there were only 400 people in the entire venue.
Get the fuck out of here.
Look at the size of that place.
That's madness.
That's 9,000 people.
That's crazy.
It's so beautiful too, man.
It's like.
It's pretty cool.
There's something about that place.
And you could run the stairs and get a workout before you actually perform.
I have some friends who live in Colorado who go to Red Rock just to run the
stairs.
Yeah.
I walked.
We got there early in the day and I walked like halfway up just to see what it
was like.
Plus it's a high altitude.
Yeah.
So I was like out of breath just walking up once halfway.
So there's no way I'm running those stairs.
Did you ever do Aspen?
Aspen Comedy Festival back when they had that?
Years ago.
They used to give you oxygen backstage.
Yeah.
I've done shows at high altitude areas where they will point out where the
oxygen tanks
are backstage and say, if you need it, they're right here.
That's pretty disconcerting.
It's weird.
They go, why would I need that?
And they go, well, and then they'll mention artists who needed it, you know,
who had to
come off stage and take a hit off it or whatever.
I've never had to do it.
But I have gotten lightheaded.
Like, you know, Breckenridge, I think.
I remember being lightheaded on stage.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, that's, I think Aspen, I want to say, is like a thousand feet above
Denver.
I think Aspen's pretty up there, which is kind of a crazy place to do a comedy
festival.
Right, right, right.
And also, when I used to perform at the Comedy Works in Denver, I didn't
realize that alcohol
would affect you more intensely at a high altitude as well.
And I used to drink a couple of beers before a show.
And on a three-show Saturday night, you know, on that third show, you might
have four or five
beers in you.
I don't do that anymore.
But I'd be on stage going, man, I'm lit up.
You know, I slurred my punchlines.
That's a problem.
Yeah, I don't like to do that.
I want to kind of be in control.
It's not a good feeling.
Yeah.
You know what's nice, though?
Right before you lose control.
You've got to get, like, right to the door.
Yeah.
You've got to get right to the door.
It's a fun place.
Right on the line.
Right on the edge.
It's hard.
You know, we need, like, a strip that you can, like, lick and look at it and go,
hmm,
we're getting close here, you know?
Well, I know you like to shoot pool.
We shot pool last time.
It's similar to that when you have a couple of beers.
Like, for some people, and I think I'm one of these, if I'm completely sober, I'm
not
as good of a pool shooter because I'm too tense.
Right.
Where if you have a beer or two in you, you loosen up a little bit where you
play better,
but then you cross a line.
And then you're gone.
Yeah.
Where it's just, you're not good at all.
Yeah.
So it's that line you're talking about.
I don't play good under alcohol.
I play good on marijuana.
Like, marijuana and pool, to me, goes great.
But alcohol just doesn't really go that good.
I don't, I can't even imagine shooting pool.
Stop.
Well, the thing is about marijuana, it gives you.
Paranoid.
You definitely get paranoid.
You got to just.
I go, that four ball is saying something to me.
What's the deal with the, why are the, why is the two and the seven together
like that?
I would start thinking weird thoughts.
There's a message.
Yeah.
There's a message in this table.
Clearly.
Yeah.
There's, there's absolute.
I took a month off.
We did this, me and Ari Shafir and Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura.
We did this sober October thing, which I'm going to do every year.
And we took a month off of everything except coffee.
And we also did 15, 90 minute Bikram yoga classes for the month.
Like you owed 15.
So it was a, it was an interesting little exercise in discipline because you
had to do the yoga
classes.
You had to get them in.
But it was also interesting for a guy who's been smoking pot pretty regularly
for 20, 20 years,
somewhere around then for, to go to nothing, zero.
It was very strange and a very educational.
I think very valuable too.
Cause it gave me a real good perspective on the benefits of marijuana and maybe
perhaps
some of the cons too.
Right.
So this past October, completely sober, no alcohol as well.
No, no alcohol.
Just some coffee.
Just coffee.
That was the only, and even coffee is kind of cheating.
I think next time I'm going to do it with no coffee.
I think next time, cause you know what, whenever I would see those AA guys and
they would be
smoking cigarettes and just pounding coffee, I'd be like, Hey man, you're doing
drugs.
Something in each hand.
Yeah.
And they're going, I've been, I've been off the problems for, uh, you know, um,
I, I think
you need a vice.
You can't, you can't, maybe there are people who have gone through this world
without having
a vice, but I think you have to have something, something that you can go to,
to go.
I know this is wrong, but as long as you're not hurting somebody, you know what
I mean?
Yeah.
I don't know if it's necessarily wrong, but I agree with you.
I know what you're saying.
I love that term vice.
It's a very interesting term.
Like I remember when you would see like the old cop movies and they would talk
about like
the vice unit, like the vice squad.
Oh, they're looking at it.
And then they go, what's your vice?
I'm like, shit, I got a vice.
But the vice unit is like, they're, they're, there should be a booklet of like
all these
vices that are available to people.
You know, what is the exact term of vice?
Like Google the, the definition of vice, like watch the, the vice president
will pop up
here.
Pence.
People are going to forget who he is when that guy's gone, but they're going 