Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1042 - Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher
Uploaded: 2017-11-21T00:17:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1042 - Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1042 - Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-21. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1042 - Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher

yeah they're great we got two of them i love that you could pick the front or
the back
that's an interesting way to start the podcast oh wait you can squirt it we're
talking about
these toilets that have uh built it it's not really a bidet it's more like a
butt cleaner
right bidets are kind of crude you ever use a bidet is a bidet not a butt
cleaner i thought
that's what it was it is but it's not good at it no this was good at it but
cleaner the stream of
water was the perfect size and pressure and warmth and i have had i mean if you
want to get into it
right you know right off the bat i've had an anal orgasm before with a vibrator
and only once in my
life and that thing i was like if i stayed on here like 10 more minutes it
could get you i think it
could a lot of gals out there taking notes i was like i think i just use like
diaper wipes in my
butt yeah that's good too but like think about it like you know like if my
beard if i had like shit
smeared all over my beard would that be cool with a diaper wipe and just going
out in public i don't
think so well i mean so the idea is to power wash it yeah that's what that
thing does power wash if i
shit in my face though i'd scrub it i would just take a full shower full shower
is the way to go i'll put
my head in a tub of water for a little bit they're very smart with the bidet
and the bidet never caught
on here in america they just went with paper which is just which gets caught in
your butt and it gets
caught if if you're a girl with not a neatly tucked vagina like most women it
gets caught in
there yeah little pieces break off well that's soft yeah that's why i use scott
brand toilet
paper instead of charmin everyone thinks i'm being cheap and i'm like no i just
don't want
toilet paper stuck in my vagina do you ever wipe your dick with toilet paper or
not it's just your
butthole no i don't even the drip what do you do with the drip just drop it
right back
don't worry about it right back in the chamber yeah it's not not a concern nice
i've always wondered
that yeah it's different i mean girls you know it's obviously not as efficient
a delivery method
i know well you really got to be careful about the wiping front to back what do
you got i know right
you write back to front once my young daughter got sick from that oh yeah you
have to learn the hard
way yeah they didn't she didn't understand and we were in on vacation actually
she got sick from it
she was she get a fever yeah she was only like i think i want to say she was
three or four oh wow
oh no yeah it's really young yeah it's like you know you want to like even if
you tell them it
doesn't make sense to them right you know back to front is the way you normally
would go but then
you got to do it in your head you go that way until your arms get longer yeah
yeah and then you
gotta lift your leg up i can reach all the way around now do you wipe your ass
with your leg up on
the toilet no i stand up to wipe my ass me too i do leg up i like to get in
there if you squat
though you could get in the butthole area better it's true i always do a
captain morgan stance to
clean out the area when i stand up and wipe in stance what's that he when he
has he has oh in the
leg up on the barrel because when you stand up you gotta wipe and wipe and wipe
and when you're like
when is this gonna end yeah well that's why i think every toilet should really
i mean would it be
hard to have one of those jet things in every toilet it doesn't seem that i don't
think that's a
big ask yeah but my my concern is so like if you're squirting and then like
poop crumbles are
coming out and they're going back down like could it ever then hit the thing
that's squirting on me
and then could poop squirt back up at me whoa that's my that's my main concern
well there's bigger
concerns in life but that is one no i mean we're just specifically talking
about toilet concerns so
that major one i don't think that because of the water pressure i don't think
the you would have to
have like a log like a shit i mean you have to be prairie dogging right yeah it
would have to be like
a cow patty i have a high fiber diet who's horny
anyway uh we're sexperts yeah well you're human every human that has sex is in
some way a sexpert
yeah that's our platform because we don't know shit we're not sexperts at all i
i said the other
day to corinne what's the name of the hole that hugs the tampon she was like
wow okay christina
that's the we did look it up well because people call the whole thing the
vagina and that's
inaccurate vaginas are so complicated not the whole thing the whole thing is
not a vagina no
that's inaccurate the just the the sex hole is the vagina oh so you could argue
people call the
whole thing the vagina but that's not technically accurate so if the doors are
closed and you're
looking on the outside and you go hey that's a vagina like nope that's not
technically correct
that's my labia that's labia you're looking at there there's the church here's
the staple open
the doors and there's the clip well let me tell you i feel about i think it's
fucking gross the
operation where they remove labia lips that seems so goddamn labiaplasty yeah
somebody actually because
that doesn't do your vagina is fully functioning and it works fine it's just
aesthetic and then if
you get that surgery and it goes awry that's not good somebody had emailed us
once about
dane cook had a bit about like meaty pussy lips a while ago and she got labiaplasty
because of that bit i was like no well i i liked dean cook a lot and i but i
had talked about that
because i was watching his special and i just put my hands over my face and i
was like this is not
what we need at all but i was like surely no one's gonna do it because he said
that it's a joke he's a
comic but he's a cute comic so then you're like should i do it not me
personally i mean but it also
desensitizes the area a lot so you're imagine you're cutting meat stitching
things back up and
things get numb oh god like i had knee surgery in the slight there's a slice
down my knee that i had
this knee operated on in 1994 and it's still numb oh whoa yeah the skin like
where they did what's
called a patella tendon graft where they oh my god they cut a long slice they
took a piece of your
patella they pull that out and then they stitch it inside the knee and that
area in the front where
they took the scar like where the scar is it's numb so just no nerves nerve
endings there i don't feel
it whoa it feels noticeably different than the sides like that one strip where
the scar is damn very
different so imagine that's your yeah i was like imagine your pussies your knee
and that just so
what's the point of life what's the point of living now i'm always just
envision your knees as my
pussy yeah whenever i see you it's got the pussy knee it would be a big pussy
too because it's a
some pussies are big opening yeah and that's why babies come out otherwise you
have to get c-sections
and then the baby doesn't get the proper vagina juices on the baby and then
they don't get the right
oh the fluid bacteria right yeah okay now i know why there's a notepad here i'm
taking notes on this
i'm just gonna take this underline this they say that a baby born by cesarean
section especially
elective cesarean section it's actually unhealthy for the baby's immune system
oh i thought you were
say hotter because your face doesn't get smushed exactly they're not mashed
when they come out
they don't look like they got a facelift photo ready face tuned we've heard
that we've heard we
didn't know what face tuning was we've been in l.a for like three days we've
heard face tuning
five times you know you can auto-tune britney spears voice so it sounds listenable
to the general public you can also do that to your face what okay so it's like
it's an app
and then but beyond filters you actually can like take your finger and if my i
think my face looks
too fat i can smudge it in so that it's thinner but then you meet somebody in
person they're like
oh fatty all the celebrities do it apparently oh come on not all of them well
not not you well the
weird ones do but you see the thing is like if you're doing that and then
someone meets you in
person like that was the issue with you know the kim kardashian mexico pictures
you know that's
the whole thing no kim kardashian i can imagine i love that you're up on this
though i am such a
bitch kim kardashian brings photographers with her and they pretend that she's
getting paparazzi
but it's really she hires these people then they take the photos and then they
doctor the photos they
photoshop them and then they release them as candid photos well she went down
to mexico and some real
paparazzi were there some real unpaid ones and they got unretouched ass shots
and it is a monster
really really well it's not cellulite here's the thing it's fat taken out of
her body and stuffed
into her ass to give her this diaper look and you don't it's a it's a meat
diaper and you don't realize
how gross it looks until you see it in real life i've seen one of those in real
life and it's chaotic
i've only seen them with pants on i haven't seen them naked but i saw one i was
like what in the
fuck are you doing your body it's chaos because you're sucking fat out of your
sides and your
inner thigh and all this like look at that whoa what in the fuck is that what
the fuck is that and
here's the thing i don't think it looks that bad oh you're crazy find the mexico
pictures because
there's the there was paparazzi pictures of her walking on the beach okay see
that doesn't that's not even
the bad ones this makes me like her more why because she's not perfect this
humanizes her okay
but wait a minute she's projecting a fake as if she is yeah and that's her
business and anyone who
thinks kim kardashian is actually perfect is ridiculous or young i mean and
impressionable
yeah yeah but i think people were held up to way higher standards you look at
that and you go oh my
god how can i be like that it's not celebrities job to be role models though i
mean especially it's
it's a parent's job or guardian's job to step in and be like maybe you have
maybe ruth bader ginsburg
you ever heard her well that's true but here's the reality is if you're a
little kid and you're
paying attention to online stuff without supervision and you're hanging out
with friends at school
you're going to be affected by this because this woman makes hundreds of
millions of dollars she's
super glamour she's on television and you find out that she got fat stuffed
into her ass to to make
that thing it's annoying because she cheated kind of that's what it feels like
it's like well if you're if
you're projecting this image of perfection and then it's like well not that's
not really that's a lot
of work to get the paparazzi that you hire to then edit it and then put it out
like i was just casually
on the beach in her defense it's a business i mean her business is this you
know looking i mean i don't
even know what her voice sounds like right oh i do and i mean i just like this
i would just play
a clip of her saying a sentence to my child and be like you know it doesn't
matter it does though
you could say that you could say that but if you're a 16 year old girl and you
know you see her on
television you see her i was a 16 year old girl at one time and there certainly
were people who looked
hotter but i i still turned out okay and like i don't by any means have a a
perfect 10 body but
she has i truly love myself and my unbothered body i don't have any problems
with it and i still
ingested a lot of this kind of like fluffy pop culture i actually love pop
culture it's one of my
favorite things like just inane information about celebrities right but this is
a different kind of
pop culture because this is pop culture that is famous for just being hot yeah
this is what i would
call like instagram culture like these instagram models and everything you do
have to be careful