Name: JRE MMA Show #22 with Bas Rutten
Uploaded: 2018-04-10T22:11:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #22 with Bas Rutten' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #22 with Bas Rutten' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-10. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #22 with Bas Rutten

phew three two one boom and we are live with el guapo as he tries to uh
navigate his phone with
his left hand what did you punch with your right hand a table a table that i uh
was stronger than
me like yeah this size table now we're sitting over why did you punch a table
okay so i was in
three states in six days i slept four hours per night i just came from chicago
and this whole
thing i had to get up at four and then i had a shoot a commercial shoot for my
body action system
starting at 10 and this happened at 10 30 p.m so i was 12 and a half hours in
and i already said okay
you know what i'm not going to do it anymore because i couldn't retain
information anymore i
had some lights two lines to remember you know they were feeding me lines i
couldn't do it anymore i
said this is it i i i stopped but then they said yeah but if you can do this
little thing okay i'll
try that one more time and of course it didn't work and i said you know what i
threw out my phone my
gloves and somehow this is how stupid you are you throw off your glove and two
seconds after i took
it off i hit the table somehow i still needed to hit something and i decided to
do it without a glove
instead of with a glove a solid thing guess what's gonna lose my pinky knuckle
and they incapacitate
your entire arm for that pretty much i think just for a pinky knuckle they call
it a boxing fracture yeah
this these yeah these two are like that's like the old school bringing us back
to karate combat old
school karate days i would always recommend that you punch like this you know
what i did and and i know
and i was going to do that but the amount of force i was using at this moment i
i really fast in
milliseconds and you had to go say it's better to spread out the impact even
more because i was because
you're hitting it so hard yeah i knew i was going to bring the big one too if i
would do it ah yeah it was just one of
those you just lost marbles and and five seconds because i hit boom they look
at me everybody's
freaking out and i go no it's over it's just you know pain i said no pain but
it's broke he said how
do you know i said trust me i can feel it so i was right away i was calm again
everything was good
nobody died that night i know that right arm's been through hell it been and
and you know this for
me to lose cool like that that happens once every five years or so but i get
angry i never get angry
right i don't have that not that kind of anger that i hit something i mean how
how old am i right
right like that's the stuff you seem to always be a happy guy that's what i am
but i i think it's
also because i'm happy so when it gets angry that's what the fights that's what
always happens i'm nice
nice nice nice nice nice nice try to diffuse it then i realize wait a minute
and then i'm asking them i say
you're not you don't think i'm afraid right i said i'm doing this for you i'm
protecting you right
now that's why i don't want to fight and at the moment you say that you know
some of them call
your bluff and then because he did it for such a long time yeah then i'll make
sure that's boss smash
yeah but those are the old boss days those old bosses no more normal boss like
this i uh i like that
actually and i i uh i don't think it's a healthy buzz either how was your arm
doing in terms of like the
atrophy is it growing back you see it's definitely growing back yeah it gets a
little bit bigger now
i have this new stuff that i'm trying i have it at home i need bacteriostatic
water for it it's a
peptide called bpc-157 did you ever hear that yes yeah ben greenfield told me
about that it's great
for tendons and ligaments and stuff yeah even nerves and regrows apparently
everything and rats i mean
they regrow tendons everything and i'm gonna try it i'm gonna try it locally
here on the bicep see what it does
as soon as i have the water so it seems like the muscles are growing back
though like slowly but
surely yeah but it's six years six years look at this and it's still yeah it's
i go 25 pounds i can
do eight times now bicep curls with the right that's a lot better than it used
to be though i couldn't do
five pounds wow yeah not once pat millet is the same thing same thing from his
neck you know what you want
to hear how crazy pat's injury was pat's disc had deteriorated so badly that
his discs fused themselves
and he didn't and he didn't realize that that guy is a complete animal
he didn't even realize it his discs fused themselves he went to the doctor and
they're like well we don't
have to fuse it it already fused itself well you can't if you talk to him and
he looks at you it's like
he hasn't fused necked right he's always just like batman he can't move yeah so
i guess grappling man
i know they'll blame it on on punching and kicking but all the knees injury
everything my rib that was
out my last it's all wrestling it's grappling and wrestling wrestling wrestlers
are all up we were
talking about kurt angle yesterday who's olympic gold medalist fantastic
wrestler i mean he's got a neck that
literally is like the size of my waist but it's his neck so up both of his arms
are tiny and you can
see the atrophy in his arms like his his arms don't match his neck oh that's
you know and you can tell
i mean obviously you know better than anybody about neck injuries guys always
like their arms shrink
yeah because they get atrophy it cuts off the nerves okay imagine if so with
him it's both ways then
yeah well it looks we should pull up that picture again jamie see if you can
find it um this is ronda
rousey's uh instagram you you could see it i i i saw him at the at the
induction at the international
sports hall of fame i was there for ronda was there as well and he was sitting
first row but he was
wearing a suit of course so i couldn't tell yeah well he still looks like a
tank yeah you know he does
but his neck is ridiculous it's so big but like look at this uh what happened
that's us that's great yeah
see look at his arms oh wow yeah so the size of his neck i mean his neck it
looks like his arm should
be as big as his legs yeah he just is i mean the guy's been through hell but
look at the size of
his neck have you seen a neck like that before that's crazy that might build a
lot of muscle
around it i guess well yeah it's all up it's been fused and as yours right yeah
for this fusion front
and back well one splint you know that opens it up and then the other ones are
fusions and i have a
friend of mine who has five oh and he can't move like i look with me i have
mobility yeah he can't
do this he can look to the side a little bit yeah i was talking to a buddy of
mine about a mutual friend
of ours and i didn't realize that he had done this but he had went to germany
and got his whole
back fused his whole back is completely rock solid fused you know who has that
too who i was looking for
him in the hospital don fry don fry how's that 10 disc fusion this guy died
twice on the operating table
he had infections the rots were broke everything man i i was in his hospital he
had he lost a lot
of weight he had a big beard and he said check this out he stood up and from
his butt crack all the way
to above his shoulder blades one big zipper oh 10 disc fusion that isn't how
many discs are in your back
probably 10 i don't know i have no clue we gotta google that that's crazy how
many do you think
you're in there jamie i 13 i go 16 16. so there's one disc hanging in there jesus
jesus take me one one
disc it's gonna go that's what they say with fusions if you have a fusion then
the discs below or above
are going to be next they say because there's 33 oh oh it's not it's not that
bad then he's doing great
there's only 10 fusions eddie bravo has an artificial disc they put artificial
discs in now these are
i wish i had that i know i couldn't do that at the time yeah yeah it was in the
early but eddie's got no
problem with it at all it moves great but that's what i mean because for me i
can't do it anymore
maybe future you know with the the the printing that they do now the 3d
printing maybe they can
make an exact copy of my spine and then they can still do it in there it will
be something but
that's a scary math they cut your spine out put a titanium one in my my
daughter my oldest daughter
just told me my my ex-wife she's gonna have to do the lower back she's got like
two or three fusions
they're gonna need to do but she's gonna do disc replacement as well yeah yeah
yeah disc replacement is
legit now you know uh braulio estima brazilian jiu-jitsu black bro very uh
famous jiu-jitsu guy
he's got one in his neck he was the first guy that ever heard about it he he
his neck up really
bad and then won the worlds with a up neck and then right after the worlds went
and got it uh
operated on wait where did he do it because he's from brazil did you do it i
think he did it in europe
because he lives in he lives in england germany will be uh i would let the germans
look at my leg they're
really good they're far advanced yeah well you know we got really up with um
during the bush administration
they they put a ban on all stem cell research you know they kind of like halted
the brakes on funding
stem cell research which is really a shame because now we're realizing stem
because they were they used
to think that stem cells had to do with babies like fetuses they were thinking
people were going
to get abortions just so they could use the stem cells but now they realize
that mesenchymal stem
cells and adult stem cells are some of the best and one of the things they're
doing in america now is
sucking fat out of people taking liposuction and then using the stem cells from
your own body
to to proliferate injured areas i did i did it two weeks ago for my knees did
you but yeah i have no
fat though so i had to take it out of my hip bone you know they drill a hole in
there they take the
marrow yeah they take the bone marrow and it's unfortunate because in the fat
apparently have five
times more the amount of stem cells than you have in the bone marrow so people
out there that are fatter
pumped to hear that they're like yes oh see i told you for a reason that's why
i did it just if i ever get
injured i've got a store of medicine that's why thank god never got injured
even if he did he wouldn't
know yeah what does that guy do in these days i have no clue i know he wrote a
book that was the
last time he had on inside mma oh you guys had him on yeah i mean that's five
years ago that guy
that guy was a character i mean if it wasn't for guys like tank abbott i mean
there would have been
no early days yeah you know i mean you needed a guy like that yeah you identify
with him right so a
lot of these crazy guys out there so you can do it i can do this yeah that's
what you need yeah
he had a giant bell and he would knock people dead yeah he was like uh roy nelson
only with no stamina
yeah and and no black belt yeah yeah well roy nelson is a complete anomaly yeah
yeah he is
why can't he lose weight how is it possible that he he trains so hard i've seen
this guy throw out like
130 155 pounds cattle bells like one arm swings wing wing wing like it's
nothing oh yeah you would lose
weight right you would think but he would be a 185 pound phenom instead he's a
heavyweight he's a big
contender maybe it's an implant in the belly that he just wants to do that you
call it the buddha belly
implant just kick him and he doesn't even feel it he's wearing a chest pad can
you imagine if someone
did that i mean if girls get fake boobs let's think about this because girls do
get fake boobs and they
fight yeah you know girls have got i don't mention any names wink wink but we've
seen it yeah girls have
had no boobs and all of a sudden they had boobs you can get fake boobs and
still fight but what about a
fake belly what about a guy who says i just like i like a belly i like looking
good you know if if a guy had a
fake belly i was gonna try to see if he could hit it to the back so i make a
hunch