Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban
Uploaded: 2018-05-09T00:20:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-09. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban

five four three two one hey fella hey what's going on not much how are you i'm
good how are
you i'm great wonderful we're a little high right now but we're gonna get
through it i'm so bummed
i was thinking about going to hawaii the other day and then this volcano
happened i'm like of
all the times dude i was there oh you were there when it happened i was in lanai
i was on one of
the other islands did you feel the earthquake no i didn't feel it it's you know
it's separated by
quite a lot there's a lot of water in the way the big earthquake happened
actually after the plane
took off so we were in the air when the big one hit oh yeah which it's
apparently a big one like
a five nine i think it was even more than that was it six oh oh right they had
a big one and then they
had a fucking really big one five nines big i think the way it works i'm sure
someone will correct me
here i think the way it works is a five six is like really powerful but a five
seven is twice as
powerful then a five eight is twice as powerful as that so when you get up to
seven like that's some
world changing shit it's actually 6.9 oh my god that's insane oh my god can you
imagine being on
the oh my god it was that powerful that's so big that's such a big earthquake
man did you see the um
i put it up it's so funny dude you put up anything that's from cnn and people
why don't you put it up
from a verifiable source not cnn cnn's bullshit it's a video you fucking
asshole it's a video of lava
eating a car yeah what do you think cnn faked it i'd like to see i'd like to
see conclusive evidence
cnn's not full of shit and then i'll go to their website stupid dude people are
so goofy
they're so goofy with this fake news shit it's lava it ate a car it happened
did you see the video
yeah the white the white car yeah pull that shit up i i think it's cool that
that car is forever
going to be in rock so like when we all die in like the future like people can
like find this car
oh it's it's broken down to the bare elements at this point i'm assuming it
just got completely melted
i wonder they say that stuff is 2 000 degrees and it's so hot but it's molten
rock so like if it
didn't burn through your feet or like if you if you weren't flammable at all
for some strange reason
you could actually walk on it yeah i'm like what like i thought you would just
sink in it but no and
apparently it's cooling like right out of after it gets out of the surface oh
this is so crazy this
is like a monster so we're watching this lava flow on hawaii's big island i
like how jamie went with
cbs news fuck cnn bro fuck that fake news actually brandon clement got the
video oh powerful brandon
clement but this guy whoever he is is a bad motherfucker because look what he
was next to
he was filming this i mean he was near this thing oh my god like imagine being
on that street and staying
what kind of a crazy you have to be to be on that street and stay and then a 6.9
hits during all this
that's so big that's such a crazy earthquake but they live on a volcano i mean
it's one of the reasons
why a lot of people don't want to live on the big island so like this yeah that
splatter one's crazy
there's a fissure in um this neighborhood there's a subdivision out there
something estates i forget
what it is but their neighborhood dude the the ground opened up in their
neighborhood
i mean if you lived you know thousands of years ago this would be an angry god
coming to attack your
village could you imagine if normal days you're in hawaii you're in one of the
most beautiful places
on the planet you're just chilling and the sun is perfect and you see in the
ocean you're hearing the
seagulls and you see dolphins and shit and then the ground opens up and hell
starts pouring out
eats your house eats your mustang
fuck and they were talking about it today on the news they're like there's
nothing we can do
it's nothing they can't pour water out nope can't do you're not gonna stop it
it's too big they
apparently stopped it from doing something in like iceland and they had to use
billions and
billions of gallons of water to halt the progress of the lava i forget what it
was is that when that
big plume was in the air and you couldn't fly anywhere i believe so and that is
also that plume
being in the air which restricted flying is all tied into the death of that
journalist michael hastings
do you know that that crazy conspiracy theory it's one of the weirder ones man
it's one of the
weirder ones this guy michael hastings was this sort of renegade journalist
type character and he went
to iraq or afghanistan um i want to say iraq but it might have been afghanistan
he went there with the troops
and he got stuck there because of that volcano so because he was stuck there
everybody got comfortable
with him being around they started saying crazy they start joking around about
obama stuff like that
and he put all this in the article and when he put all this in the article the
general had to resign
and he was like one of the most popular most powerful generals in the army
then shortly thereafter homeboy decided to go 120 miles an hour down sunset and
slam into a tree and
his car exploded yes and everybody's like it's a murder it's assassination and
then there was all
these tech guys that were coming out and they were saying listen you absolutely
can hack a car and change
the direction change the the what what the car does take control of the car you
absolutely can do that
and they were like abs absolutely he's like absolutely he's like absolutely 100
you do it do
you have we know these people there's videos of people falling asleep and they're
teslas right the
car just drives you there you get on the highway it just drives you we know
that's real it turns it'll
turn it'll make turns for you it'll park they have cars that park you don't
think that they can
that they figured out a long time ago hey wouldn't it be cool if we could just
tap into that and make
this mother drive into a tree on star kill if they didn't they would be so
incompetent that i don't
want to hear any conspiracy theories ever again because if the government didn't
look at that stuff
if the government like the assassins didn't look at that go whoa hold on a
second so you telling me if
the head of isis is in a car and it's a mercedes we can hack into that car and
make that
motherfucker drive off a cliff we can do that okay well let's do that
fucking 100 those people all day are trying to figure out a way to kill bad
guys you don't think
they would think that of course they would so that's the the scary thought but
then the other
possibility is homeboy was losing his mind because of the pressure which is
entirely possible you always
have to like look at everything you got to look at all sides you really do it's
so it's so easy to just
pick a side on any story or a conspiracy theory or anything even a political
opinion it's so easy to
just dig your heels in but in this one you got to look at this guy they
definitely found amphetamines
in his system they said and that's not uncommon for writers writers love adderall
they love it
apparently i have a friend who's a journalist says everybody who's a journalist
is on adderall
obviously he's exaggerating the one guy's out there like not me you not fucking
me but um
who was it that was a doc oh my friend dr roddy mcgee the the stem cell doctor
from vegas he was
telling me about people that were taking adderall like when he was in college
and he was like holy
shit is my breath smell no no what are you doing bro he throws me these listerine
breast strips okay
dude i'll fucking take one quietly flipped it christ dude but he was saying
that when he was in
college there's like a marked change in everybody's performance when they
started doing the adderall
i believe it jamie gave it to me he gave me a little tiny piece allegedly maybe
not maybe i just made
that up officer i don't know what that was i don't know what the that was i
didn't take it either way
i'm scared of it i'm scared i'm gonna take it and go yes this is what i need
right like the same same reason i'll be scared of coke i've never with coke i
like coffee too much
i like it i drink it when i'm not even tired i just look for a cup of coffee
like come on have
a cup of coffee it'd be nice right now i feel like a crack at like cracky when
i'm on adderall like it's
like like the whole time does it make you talk too much uh i have only done
like three times but
i remember i tried to do it and go on stage and it was awful i felt like i was
on like my timing was
all like jitter jitter jitter jitter right well you got to take into account
like there's the way you feel
before you go on stage and then there's the way you feel on stage the
adrenaline you have to take into
account that that adrenaline is going to be there it's going to mix in yeah i
did modafino once i did
modafinil on stage and it was a weird little balancing act that's that pro
vigil stuff right
it was weird it was like whoa this is weird you know you're better off sober
you just but the the
thing about those pills apparently is you get used to it and then you get used
to that juice you know
you're used to just having the energy to get done come on brian let's start a
business come
on brian let's organize we've got to make a non-profit that carries the same
name as the
everybody gets super super fired up but you can get a lot of done that way so
that's the thing
with journalists apparently according to my friend he's like dude everybody's
on it they're all on
it and they write like maniacs they just pound the keys but it makes sense and
that take your pills
documentary on netflix that's what they talk about too i need to see that
percent of kids in high
high school college taking it just to get through just to do it well i think it's
a performance
enhancing drug so here's the question is it worse than drinking i bet it isn't
and we don't have any
problem with all those kids drinking the question is are they going to get
addicted to it more easily
than they would get addicted to drinking because you don't have this i mean i
don't know but i'm
assuming you don't have nearly the same kind of hangover right how does it
affect your liver in
comparison to like alcohol because i think adderall and that kind of might be
worse
in that aspect i think we'd see a lot of bodies if it were i think there'd be a
lot of dead people
i really do this is what i think i think it's one of those where's the bodies
thing like where's the
bodies where's the bodies you know where are they it might be one of those
things oh you don't want
to do that everybody's going to have heart attacks and die are you sure you're
sure everybody's not
already doing it booze like there was a stupid article that i was reading about
the keto diet
it was so dumb it was so poorly written and uninformed because they were
talking about a study they did
where they took people and they put them on a keto diet for four days and their
athletic performance
decreased and then they even included the caveat this could possibly be because
of the keto flu
which is something that sometimes people get when their body goes into before
your body goes into
ketosis takes a long time to switch your body off from your a lifetime of
burning carbs to burning fat
the real health benefits and athletic performance if any all happen after your
body gets through this
transitionary period so they did a study about four days of the diet like who
gives a why would
you do that that's not how it works it takes weeks before your body even
totally transitions over and
then even then the benefits include increase rather over months i mean there's
plenty of science on this
stuff like the people that i've had on the podcast that talked about it like
dom diagostino
and all the studies that he's done on it uh peter audio who's on the other day
these are like real
scientists who are like the data is out there you could look at it it does