Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1118 - Theo Von
Uploaded: 2018-05-18T22:07:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1118 - Theo Von' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1118 - Theo Von' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-18. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1118 - Theo Von

here we go baby five four three two one boom and there can be only one theo von
well as far as we
know as far as i know in the universe though do you know what they think what
do you know the
concept of infinity apparently as explained to me but people far smarter than
us is that the
universe is so big yeah not only is there intelligent life out there for sure
but there's
humans out there for sure and infinity is so big that that means somewhere in
the universe
there is another theo von that has done exactly the same things that you've
done said exactly the
same things that you've said been in the same conversations that you've been in
down to
that pause down to the millisecond an infinite number of times and you believe
it yes not just
one not just one time but an unending number of times because that's how big
infinity is
you're not buying it i'll bet infinity is smaller than that if i had a bet yeah
i just don't think
that that could for me that couldn't for me if i knew that that was true that
would just break my
heart i feel like because then you would feel like everything you're doing
feels pointless you know
but isn't it anyway just what you know about the universe let's just say the
universe was limited
to the size of this galaxy okay right which it really could be could be i mean
we're you and i let's be
honest we're kind of dumb right right we're fairly oh yeah i'm just guessing
guess totally guess i mean
i'll say some big words every now and then but the reality is i learned those
big words from people
that actually understand them and i'm just repeating the noises that they say
yeah right okay
so they say hey broken thinks you so fucking smart i'm the last person that
thinks i'm smart trust me
yeah we're all mimics really exactly so if you look at i think they think there
are hundreds of billions
of stars in this galaxy mm-hmm just that alone is too big it's too big it's too
big it's too big for
you to wrap your head around it's too big there's no like when you think about
like how big that is like
there's no way you really think about it you just you just kind of like oh yeah
yeah yeah big
yeah now now think of infinite so hundreds of billions of those and then they
think it's possible
that inside each galaxy they know that the center of each galaxy has a supermassive
black hole in it
and they think that inside that supermassive black hole might be a whole nother
universe
filled with galaxies each of them that have supermassive black holes in the
center you go through one of
those another universe infinite universes so infinite infinities so the
universe is infinite and there's
infinite numbers of universes so somewhere out there is another theo vaughn
same haircut same jokes
same style really yep same back problem killing it dude that's scary i feel
like if that's true that makes
the jog i took this one it seems so much shorter if there were if the universe
is that much bigger
i don't think it could be that big look at this what did you show me here jamie
what is that what
simulation on the inside of a black hole that's eye movie bro that could be
anything do that again
well it's just this is just animation so the idea is you go through the black
hole and you wake up again
a baby in louisiana man come on man your mama's cuddling you oh you're such a
sweet thing you know birds are
chirping but they're they're chirping 200 trillion light years away wow yeah
you believe it
believe is a weird word do you feel it it's too big i don't even feel sun the
sun i go outside
and i go oh yeah it's warm but i don't feel that there's a thing that's a
million times bigger than
earth that's floating in the sky no i don't feel that to me the hard part for
me is when they say that
the universe keeps expanding you know yeah it sounds like something a child
would say that part
sounds fiction to me like it just keeps growing and growing and growing and
growing you're like
what it sounds like something like my four-year-old nephew would say if like he
won't go to sleep at
night you know well the real one is the birth of the universe that's the real
one like the big bang so
before the big bang the universe was smaller than the head of a pin the whole
thing right and then for some
reason boom they don't know why but in one instant the universe is created i
mean i seem far-fetched
but that's what the scientists believe forget about what religious people
believe or cult leaders
believe or schizophrenics yeah the legit of legit the sean carols of the world
the neil degrasse tysons
of the world the real scientists yeah that can hit you with the real words and
they actually understand
them the smartest people the real smart people they actually think that hmm
what do you think
i think the jury's out you know that's what i think man i think i'm still kind
of feeling it out you
know i think that i think i could easily get sucked in if i'm not careful to
just believe in i just
wonder if some of their stuff is right you know like what if the building
blocks that we started with
aren't really correct you know and sometimes i feel like they some of the
science for me it takes too much
of the hope out of it like i guess i want to romanticize the universe a little
bit and i want
it to be a little more fantastical like maybe we get out there you know in the
sequel to that video
and there's a couple you know angels out there or a band or something or like
uh you know some angels
or like a you know some sort of something more exciting than just is that
exciting or is that just more
human like angels in a band right that's like human that would actually be
boring yeah maybe it's just
man maybe i'm afraid to go into that other world you know into that other realm
like if somebody was
like go in there and they were trying to push me in there i would say i'm not
going in there have you
ever been in a place where you're in uh you're outside at night there's no
clouds and there's no light
pollution and you could see the milky way yeah there was tucson it's crazy
right yeah it's a weird
feeling you see all those stars and you're like is this up here all the time
yeah that's how i feel
i feel like is this out here all the time and what have i been doing yeah i
think we're
ourselves up with cities i've been saying that forever i think all that light
from cities blocking
out all those stars i think it confuses us yeah we don't we don't realize what
we're in
we are in this crazy space ride oh i think people forget about that a lot of
times i mean we
definitely get caught up in the minutiae i mean but what's out there in the
world in the universe
i mean i think if something were out there it would have stopped by by now i
don't know about that
it's been a lot of time it's a lot of space a lot of space it has to go through
i think that things
get so smart that they don't do that anymore this is what i think um i think
that this whole idea about
space travel i don't think they do that after a while i think they get so smart
they become
symbiotic with machines and i think artificial life and artificial intelligence
they create their
own reality and literally create their own universes i don't think they bother
traveling oh they're just
thinking it up and then there it is i think they make things you know i think
when i think this is just
a thought but i think what's going to happen with us i mean we take little
trips send a rover to mars and
shit yeah you know we send probes into space florida anywhere you know i mean
you go local anything is
a you know can be a big adventure but yeah we go out to the moon we went to the
moon a couple times
supposedly you know right but what we don't do what you know what we're doing
with these little tiny
trips it's like all fairly close it's all inside of our solar system right yeah
what we're saying is
that someone is going way way way further than that so they would have to be
way more advanced than that
what i look at us and i look at artificial life and artificial intelligence and
how close we are to
creating something that's smarter than us yeah within the next hundred years we're
going to have some
form of artificial life that's probably way smarter than us and it's going to
create even better versions
of artificial life it's going to improve upon the design and then there's going
to be things that they
can do in terms of like recreating reality in your own mind like sit you and i
sitting across from each
other we're experiencing this table we're experiencing looking at each other we're
friends we have a
history together we talk a lot so this we we're used to being in each other's
presence there's all these
feelings and thinking and thoughts going on i think they're going to be able to
recreate that i think
they're going to be recreate that in a way that's indistinguishable from this
moment that we're
experiencing right now so then i mean are humans just going to become obsolete
then yeah i think so
okay well dang it dang it don't you think we are i mean if you go back right go
back it just makes me
sell the organisms yeah go back to like an amoeba or something the first time
single-celled orgasms
became multi-celled organisms just a booger in the world how many of them how
many of them were hanging
back and go man that i'm gonna live in the woods i'm gonna stay single cell
single cell's the way to go
yeah this multi-celled stuff is bullshit i don't need to see things man you i
don't need a phone
motherfucker yeah i'm a single-celled organism just chilling at the bottom of
the ocean
you know things don't have to get any better i'm like i'm right like this i'm
not gonna get a job i'm
gonna be a hit man so if you looked at single-celled organisms they eventually
became theo vaughn
right that's a that's a complicated leap from single-celled organisms from
billions of years ago to theo
vaughn holy shit is that a leap to a human that's a big leap so you're saying
it would be crazy for us
if we didn't continue to move forward we're going to that's a good point it's
gonna happen everything
does we're gonna improve upon this i mean we're different now people are bigger
and stronger and
faster than they were just 100 years ago because of nutrition you know and
those genes that are saying
that the genes of people who exercise and are healthy they're better than the
genes of people that don't
like you literally can transfer some of those traits and some of that potential
into children ronda
patrick got something she tweeted about that a couple of days ago i believe oh
there's some mud rats
out there that have no genes almost i feel like like mud rat humans yeah just
people that are just
smoking their own dicks out there who have no real like like you know what i'm
saying like i've met
some people who yeah they're breathing but that's it really yeah this idea that
we're all created
equals you've never met anybody that's a genius if you say that i've met some
people that i'm like
i talked to them i go oh i'm like a monkey yeah compared to you dude i talked
to your buddy eddie bravo
and that guy is a real he's out there he's like a jack he's like a deaf like a
deaf jack russell almost
you know a deaf jack russell yeah because once he gets going you can't oh jack
russell terrier yeah you
ever been around one of those dogs you open the car and then the next thing you
know they're at the
yeah they're like sick yeah but how's he deaf because you can't get him back
like once he goes
you can't you know what i'm saying you can't get him back in the car like you're
sitting there honking
the horn you can't that guy's out there you know my home you know what i'm
talking about i do know what
you're talking about but i've never heard anybody make a description like that
a deaf jack russell terrier
that is hilarious he's extravagant dude yeah that man's extravagant he's so
motivated he loves
conspiracies more than anybody i've ever met in my life and he thinks
everything is a conspiracy
yeah no n