Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1134 - Kyle Dunnigan
Uploaded: 2018-06-22T23:51:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1134 - Kyle Dunnigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1134 - Kyle Dunnigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-22. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1134 - Kyle Dunnigan

Four, three, two, one.
Kyle Donnegan, ladies and gentlemen.
That's right, baby.
Headphones or no headphones?
Oh, sure, headphones.
Grab them right there.
Be a goddamn professional, sir.
Yeah, baby.
Yeah.
Where'd you get that?
Yeah, baby.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I just noticed she answers herself.
She's like, should I watch this door?
Or she.
I like that.
I'm very politically correct.
Yeah.
But she'll be like, yeah, so I went and I bought some Jimmy Choo's.
Yeah, yeah.
And I called my sister, yeah.
So she's like, I think she spends a lot of time alone, maybe.
And she's answering herself.
What is going on with her voice?
Because she didn't have that voice when she was Bruce.
It's a different voice.
Is it?
I thought it was like pretty similar.
It's like, what's different?
It's a little higher or something?
It's like numb.
Like her face is numb.
Oh, her face.
Like I shower a hard time over the face.
Yeah, baby.
Well, Bruce was.
I thought she was, did you see her show, I am Kate?
She had like a reality show, which bombed.
I mean, how much of a boring person do you have to be when, I mean, how
interesting is
like an ex-Olympic athlete turns into a woman and you're so boring, still no
one wants to
see that show.
Yeah.
She needed a better producer.
It seems like you could put her in interesting situations.
That show could go on forever.
She was boring.
Like I watched it.
I tried to watch it.
It was boring.
God, I feel like there's, I just feel like they missed the formula.
Like that is a fascinating situation.
Someone who waits until they're 60 years old and then becomes a man.
Yeah.
How could that show not do well?
How could it?
I think what happened was she wasn't open about what her transition, it wasn't
about that.
Oh.
She didn't really talk about what was interesting.
She doesn't believe in gay marriage.
That, that's when I, like I was on her side and I'm like, yeah, she's a, you
know, supporter.
I mean, what, how?
She said, well, I'm kind of a traditionalist.
Yeah, I'm a traditional girl show.
Yeah.
And Ellen is a very, maybe one of the wittiest people, you know, very witty.
And she went like this, well, how, she was completely lost for words.
Yeah.
Because it's, it makes no sense.
It's.
Well, Ellen held her feet to the fire and their big feet.
She, she, she burned those feet.
I held my 17 Jimmy Choo to the fire, baby.
Yeah, baby.
She's got to order those custom, right?
Oh yeah.
There's no way around it.
Sure.
I, I, um, yeah, for her to be against any group that she's been, she knows what
it feels
like to be shunned or.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
It's just crazy.
She's just decided that she's a woman.
Yeah.
A Republican woman.
Ew, lesbians grow.
But she's a lesbian now.
Yeah.
But now I date men, baby.
Does she?
Or she's dating a trans.
Jesus.
So confused.
I'm exhausted.
What is happening?
Imagine if you were a man, okay.
And then you became a woman and you dated a woman who became a man.
What in the fuck is happening?
You're like, you're like one of those yin yangs spinning through space.
Yeah.
And then you're like, gay marriage is gross.
Like, I'm going to judge that.
It's, it's, they need to cut her brain open and figure out what's, what's going
on.
There's a lot of confusion and a lot of wanting to fit in and a lot of, you
know, it just doesn't make any sense.
And I really like people going through that.
And I don't want to, you know, hurt anyone's feelings.
I really just think she's, she's kind of an asshole.
Oh, this is her girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
Oh.
So the girlfriend used to be a boy too?
Yes.
Fascinating.
That is, wow.
Wait a minute.
Girlfriend used to be a boy.
That's what she used to look like?
Yeah.
Oh, Christ.
The world is so strange.
Oh.
And then she's like, I just, she's not a great person.
I mean, she killed that lady with her car and then said nothing like, uh.
That was the weird thing.
Did you see the footage?
No.
She, it's, looks completely like her fault.
She bumped into this lady who was stopped and the lady went across traffic and,
and died.
Yeah.
And no one talked about it.
She's like, I was, you know, putting on some, my land comb in the mirror.
Didn't share.
Is that what she said?
No.
I think she was looking at her phone.
Yeah.
I don't want to see this.
Uh oh.
I'm going to feel bad.
Yeah.
Some poor lady died.
And no one, no one gives a fuck because the story is not that.
The story is she's a woman now.
She's always been a woman.
She's always been a woman.
I mean, it was good timing for her because people like ignored that and sort of
went.
Well, it's crazy timing.
That was Brouche.
Yeah.
That video that you did of that.
When did you start doing these videos?
I'll tell you.
I was having like midlife crisis panic waking up at three in the morning, like
moments.
I was writing for the show.
This was last year and it was a great job.
Everyone's really nice.
And I like something in my subconscious felt like, I don't know, like I had to
get out and
I quit the job.
Whoa.
And I was like, I'm just going to make videos on Instagram.
Like what a great business move.
Let me lose my health insurance and make videos for free on Instagram.
Dude, you have the funniest page on Instagram.
Well, thank you.
I haven't seen them all.
But all the ones I've seen, without a doubt, you have the funniest page.
Oh, thank you very, very much.
I mean, I went because of you from like 20,000, I've now like 240 something.
That's awesome.
Because of you and, you know, and Tom Segura and Bill Burr also like pumped it
up.
It's just how good they are, man.
It's viral.
Once people watch a few of those.
Dude, the one that you did where she was describing the different utensils that
she uses to get
herself off with, the weed whacker and all these.
Oh, my God.
Dude.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm close.
Come on, girls.
Ask my girls to help me out.
Got to finish.
When did you start doing the face swap thing?
Are you using a FaceTime?
Yeah, there's an app.
There's a face swap app you can download.
And there's one for the Trump.
I just, I was doing Trump at first and I don't look anything like him.
So this was like a way to do a character and have a kind of.
That Trump's in Stormy Daniels once.
Terrific.
Stormy.
How'd you get my number?
Okay.
The other one that made me cry was Kim Kardashian and Trump when Kim couldn't
figure out how
to open up the door and just buzzer it.
Wait for the buzzer.
There's the weird buzzing noise.
Yeah, that's when you push it.
Those are, um, take so long.
I don't think anyone spends as much time making videos for Instagram.
It's Kim K.
I'm at the side door.
Okay, I'll buzz you in.
The door is closed.
Yeah, you gotta push it.
It's locked.
Yeah, wait until I buzz you.
Okay, push it.
Why didn't you open it?
There was a weird buzzing noise.
Yeah, that means, that means open the door.
It's locked.
You have to wait, you have to wait until I buzz you.
Jesus Christ.
Go.
But I just got here.
No, go in the door.
But I can't go in the door.
It's a solid.
Holy shit.
No offense, but this would have been a lot funnier if I was in it.
Yeah, baby.
Hello.
So that's what I do with my time.
I'm a grown man.
Yeah, you're an actual full grown man.
I'm an old grown man.
I'm a man boy.
So you really just decided to start doing these full time.
It wasn't even like a brave decision or anything.
I really couldn't sleep.
I was having panic attacks.
I think I saw my future and it was like, I'm going to be a writer and writing
for people for the rest of my life.
You get addicted to the money and insurance and all that.
It happens to so many comics.
It happens like, and I heard about it and I didn't see it coming.
And it just, I suddenly woke up last summer.
I'm like, I have to stop or I will do this forever.
There are a few friends of mine who are really, really funny comics and they
can't work because they spent so many years doing sitcoms as a writer or doing
sketch shows as a writer that they don't have a following.
They don't have a following in the road, but they're world class comedians.
Yeah.
Do you know Owen Smith?
Yeah.
He's fucking hilarious.
Nobody knows who he is.
I'm like, dude, you're one of the 20 best comics in the world.
Yeah.
And it's crazy.
It doesn't make any sense.
He's a super nice guy too.
He's a great guy.
Ian Edwards, same shit.
I mean, more people know Ian now than before, but God.
Yeah, it's a trap.
It's a fucking trap.
You've only so much creative energy.
Yeah.
And if you're giving it to someone else, you're done.
It's not just that.
You're tired all day.
You're stuck in an office and then you have to go on the road.
Like if you want to be a comic, you have to do sets multiple times a week and
you got
to go on the road.
Yeah.
It's just the way it is.
There's no way around it.
Yeah.
There's no other way to do it.
If you get in your 50s and you're not famous, you don't have a decent following,
like you're
fucked.
You're screwed.
You're fucked.
Yeah.
You're fucked.
Unless you're Ron White.
Like Ron White got famous in his late 40s.
He was living in Mexico in his 40s.
Oh, really?
Like done.
And then Jeff Foxworthy contacted him and they started doing that blue collar
comedy tour.
Boom.
Now he's got a private jet balling out of control.
Yeah.
Big fat house in Beverly Hills.
Woo.
Sweet.
Woo.
Woo.
Rodney Dangerfield too.
Yeah.
Well, he quit.
He was like 50.
He quit doing standup, was selling an aluminum siding.
Oh, that's right.
And then came back.
But the entire time he was away, he was writing, which is really crazy.
So he came back with a fuckload of material and also came back with a sharper
style.
Like came back more edited, more precise.
Yeah.
You know, and that's where it changed.
I feel like I can't believe how old I got.
Like you don't notice it.
If anyone's listening, they're like in their 20s.
How old are you?
I'm 40.
I just turned 47.
I'm 50.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're a little further along than me career wise.
So I'm not, I'm not as worried about you.
You don't wake up with night terrors, do you?
But you did, huh?
Yeah, I really did.
When, and there's certain moments, like, you know, you don't think about being
old, but
like, like, you know when you put the, your date of birth in online to buy
something,
that, that scroll, zing, zing, it's just, I'm scrolling forever.
There's a whole entire life going by.
You were born in 70?
71.
Yeah.
It's a good year for cars.
You're the pig.
Last good year for cars.
Is that true?
Yeah.
What about a Tesla?
What do you hate Teslas?
No, no, no.
I mean muscle cars.
Oh, muscle cars.
Like American muscle cars.
Yeah.
Like the 1960s to the, to 1971.
1971 was essentially the last good year for cars.
Yeah.
We like muscle.
Me, me and Joe are like, both ripped, both like, both ripped to shit.
Those classic American cars, there was a few years where they were unbelievably
cool.
And then after like 71, they fell apart.
So you just, you caught it at the perfect time.
That's, I mean, that's what I'm known for.
Being born right at the end of muscle cars.
The 71 Barracuda.
That was probably the last.
You're a big car guy, huh?
I love cars.
Yeah.
I do too, but I drive a Honda Civic because that's what I can afford.
Well, I had a Honda Civic once too.
Yeah?
Yeah.
They're great.
They start up every time you need them to.
Yeah.
I've had it for 15 years.
They're the fucking shit, those cars.
Every time you put that key in, there's no confusion.
There's no problem.
There's no worry.
No anticipation.
Come on, baby.
Come on, baby.
I treat it like crap too.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Those things are bulletproof.
Yeah.
They last forever.
I love Toyotas.
I have a Lexus.
I love those things.
They never fuck up.
I'm on the waiting list for the Lexus.
No, I'm sorry.
Tesla.
Oh, which one?
The three?
The new, the cheaper one.
The three, yeah.
Three.
Yeah.
But it's still suspiciously expensive.
Do you see what's going on with Tesla and the former employee?
Some employee was sabotaging code and leaking information.
And now the employee is saying that, you know, trying to say something about
Elo