Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1148 - Andrew Santino
Uploaded: 2018-07-28T04:54:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1148 - Andrew Santino' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1148 - Andrew Santino' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-07-28. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1148 - Andrew Santino

Oh, we're live!
What are you guys betting on?
Look around real quick.
What's new?
Easy. It's easier than you think.
Bruce Lee?
Yeah, but still though, he didn't say it.
He goes, "I wonder if he'll say it right as he gets on."
I said, "No, I should have bet you money."
I was gonna say it, but I mean...
No, I saw it immediately. It's pretty dope.
It is dope.
They just sent those in.
There's a great hip-hop album I used to listen to in high school,
and they used one of his quotes, one of my favorites.
He says, "Honestly expressing oneself is really hard to do.
I can use really fancy movements and show you really crazy things,
but to honestly express myself, that is really hard to do."
It's like a beautiful little sound clip before they start the song,
but it's like just him talking to someone.
Isn't it humbling when someone dies really young like he does,
and they did way more in their life than you ever will?
Makes me sad.
I'm like, "What am I gonna do?"
You'd stop and think about it.
Who the fuck else has had that kind of an impact?
He died in, what, 1970-something?
In the '70s, yeah.
And he was young.
I think he was like 30 or 31 or 32 or something like that.
Find out how old Bruce Lee was when he died.
I was listening to Hendrix last night on the way to the studio,
or the comedy store.
Yeah.
33?
And I was thinking, he died when he was 27.
How much Hendrix music is there out there?
He died when he was 27.
Yeah, but then you think, do you think he'd be happy with what's going on today?
I always find that, like, what would they be doing today?
Who knows?
It trips me up.
Yeah.
Well, you can't do that.
No, I know, but that's like, oh, they had such, like, a...
Because, right, there's guys that lasted a long time, and they either, like,
are making garbage,
or they're slowly still making cool shit here and there whenever they want to.
Yeah, there's the variety.
So, and then there's people that just...
Nobody wants to hear their new shit, right?
Yeah.
It's like the Rolling Stones.
Yeah, you're like, nah.
Come on, start me up!
Come on!
Come on!
Nobody wants to hear, like, new Rolling Stones songs.
This new one's called Car Tire!
Don't play that!
Don't play that.
Isn't that weird, though?
Because, like, they're all-time greats.
Yeah.
But if they start playing some song you haven't heard, you're like...
Yeah.
Nah.
What the fuck is all this?
That's kind of like yesterday when I was running, they have this thing called
the Big Three.
It's a post-NBA league for players to play in once they retire.
It's just three-on-three.
But it's really sad to watch guys that have been retired for, like, ten years
hooping, because
you're like...
This is just bad.
It's like...
You want to just remember them when they were amazing.
But now they're just too old to be...
It's like...
It's like circus-y.
You know what I mean?
Like, people are showing up just to, like, see those names, but they're...
It's really bad to watch.
How old are they?
I mean, there is no minimum.
I just think it's...
You have to be retired from the league to play in it.
Right.
But, like, I mean, the average age has got to be 40, maybe.
See, it depends on the sport and the athlete.
Well, basketball is...
Hopkins was fighting in his 40s at his best.
Different, though.
Yeah.
Basketball is just...
It's such a young man's game.
But so is boxing.
I know, but there's something about it that's, like, hard to watch an old dude
with gray hair
missing free throws.
That's a weird...
A guy who used to be phenomenal.
I understand what you're saying, but I disagree.
Yeah.
And the fact that it's even sadder watching an old guy get the fuck beat out of
him.
Yeah.
It used to be good.
Yeah, yeah, that's sad.
Yeah.
That's sad.
But fighting...
But he still probably fights because he loves it?
No.
No?
Just for the money?
Everybody fights for money.
Yeah.
I mean, they fight because they love the competition, but they get paid.
They're doing it for money, too.
Well, that's why these guys are doing the big three.
There's no way they enjoy it anymore.
Oh, how do you know?
There's no way.
It just looks so sad.
It's just so sad.
Do you think that...
I think with basketball, too, it's wear and tear on the knees.
It's so devastating.
Your back, your knees, everything.
Just constantly.
Left, right, left, right.
When you watch, there's a guy named Glenn Davis, Big Baby Davis.
And he always had big problems in the league being so heavy on his knees and
his back.
And it's even worse there.
He fell once during it and rolled around for like five minutes.
I was like, this is so sad to watch.
And their cameras are just focusing on him.
And Rappaport is doing the announcing.
Michael Rappaport?
Yeah, man.
He's doing the interview.
Oh, Jesus.
It's so weird, man.
It's so weird.
He's like a 80-year-old, 20-year-old.
Yeah.
He's just, his career is on this crazy revival train.
And it's almost like he is going back to young Rappaport style.
He's a funny dude, man.
Oh, he's hilarious.
He's interviewing, I guess it was, I forget what sport it was, but he's
interviewing these
guys.
And he's like kind of hunched over, like talking to him.
He's a big guy.
Yeah.
And he's like, got this look on his face.
He's interviewing him.
Like, this is such a weird combination of like an old guy and a young guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But he's connected with the youth so heavily.
Oh, yeah.
Well, he's on top of things.
He did that documentary for Tribe Called Quest.
Like, he still is in like that youthful world of like music and sports.
Did you ever see the rant that he went on after Charlottesville about those Tiki
Torch carrying
white guys?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I did.
Yeah.
Tiki Torch, motherfuckers!
Yeah.
But he's loose, you know?
I mean, he's out there.
He's very funny on The Fighter and The Kid, too.
He goes on that show.
He's hysterical.
And he goes and he fights with the whole Howard Stern staff.
He loves fighting with those guys because they all do like fantasy football and
all that
stuff.
He's vocally a massive sports fan, which I think that keeps him in that youth
circle so much.
That he just loves sports and loves talking sports to everybody.
Yeah.
He hosts sports shows sometimes.
Like, he's hosted different people.
Oh, yeah.
One of those radio TV shows.
Those radio shows they show on TV occasionally.
Yeah.
You know, what are those?
Who does those?
They're like...
Dan Patrick?
Yeah, Dan Patrick has one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like guys that left ESPN.
I don't know jack shit about sports, man.
Yeah, you do.
I don't know shit.
You know about sports that you know about.
But that's all I know about.
Like, the problem is people try to talk to me about other sports.
Yeah, you fucking believe that game?
Like...
Yeah.
But that's everybody.
Like, Ian Edwards loves soccer.
Oh, dude.
I can't tell you...
I couldn't tell you a position other than goalie.
Yeah.
I think it's a forward.
Do you name one?
Just a forward.
See, but then I think about hockey.
Because I'm like, I know hockey, but I have no idea about...
Isn't hockey the same as soccer, just with like...
I don't know.
Do you know?
Very close, yeah.
Is it?
Pretty close.
There's a midfielder.
Yeah.
Defense.
Defense.
Defense.
Forward and defense, yeah.
Aren't they all defense?
Sorta.
When you're on defense, yeah.
Same as hockey, right?
I'm sorry, I couldn't.
Italy when the World Cup was going on.
And it was amazing to watch Europeans watch that shit because they love it.
Oh, they go crazy.
I've totally checked out.
I was talking about this before.
What ruined it for me was I was in Boulder when the World Cup was happening.
And all these dorky white guys pretending to be way too enthusiastic about the
World Cup.
Yeah, dude.
Because it's the World Cup.
Yeah.
You know that thing that people do?
They're not into it.
You know that fake thing that people do?
They're like, "Yes!
Fucking yes!"
They're like, "But it's not real."
The Olympics does that too.
The Olympics has this thing when people get into like...
It's cool to cheer for your country or whatever.
But it's so funny when people get into the Olympics and they're like,
"Did you watch us in luge?
Did you watch us rip it up in luge?"
No, I don't fucking...
Why?
What are you talking about?
That's not...
Were we ripping it up in luge?
Was I asleep?
We were fucking shit up in luge yesterday?
I didn't know.
I had no idea.
What did we do?
The Winter Olympics.
Everyone freaks out.
And they have sports that you would never even think about wanting to watch.
Like the cross-country ski and then you shoot on the ground and then you ski
some more.
Yeah.
You would never...
I would never.
3-on-3 basketball is gonna be in the Summer Olympics.
Is it really?
This big three thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is a big three?
That's it.
That's the...
The big three is the three-on-three tournament we were talking about.
Oh.
With the ex-NBA players.
But wait a minute.
They're putting them in the Olympics.
Yeah, dude.
I looked this up the other day and was so surprised.
I was like, "What the fuck?"
I don't even...
I don't know what kind of competition it's gonna be.
But the big three success has led to it being included in the next Summer
Olympics.
I think...
How many people are in a normal basketball game?
Ten.
Five-on-five.
Five-on-five.
Oh.
Four-point shot.
What?
Which doesn't exist.
Yeah, so you could shoot it.
They have a weird rule, too, that once it gets down to four minutes, that like...
No, I'm sorry.
This was the basketball tournament had a weird rule.
I just confused the two things.
There's another tournament going on, which is like amateur players and teams.
And it's a one million dollar tournament.
It's actually two million this year, I think.
Two million bucks?
Yeah.
So it's a tournament going on all across the country.
We could have entered it if we wanted to.
We should.
We would have lost, but we could have.
Yeah, wouldn't that be fun?
Just don't talk negative to me, bro.
I'm just saying.
We could have.
Let's say we wouldn't have lost, bro.
You don't know my heart.
You don't know.
We would have been training.
You know what goes on in my head, bro.
This is former MB guys and former college players.
Whatever, bro.
Don't put limitations on us.
We would have had an average height of 5'10".
We'd be killing.
But they have a weird rule.
These 6'9" black dudes and these three white heads just...
Hey, guys, we're here to play.
Hello.
Hi.
Hi, fellas.
Hey, guys.
Just tying my shoes.
So, what are the rules?
There's a four-point shot.
Joe just hugs the ball and starts fucking head-butting people out of the way.
Why can't we do that?
Why can't we play like that?
Guys, you gotta go.
Well, we tried.
I don't have any sports skills.
I don't know if you foul outs.
Maybe you could.
Yeah.
Foul outs?
We would just use you as the bull and foul out.
You just foul...
What happens if you foul out?
You kick you out.
You're done.
You can't play anymore.
All of a sudden, then the game's over.
No, but they have two other players on their bench that they rotate.
Oh, Jesus.
But we would have you foul as hard as you can to really fuck up their best
players.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
That's strategy.
And then Jamie and I would have to bang it out.
That's right.
Way too dicky.
Do they have that?
They have that in hockey.
Oh, they do it in the NBA.
Same thing.
They do it in the NBA?
That ruins their career.
Costs millions of dollars.
Oh my God.
Hack a Shaq was the original.
They used to foul Shaq because they knew what were they going to do to stop him.
He's a fucking truck.
So he would just get the ball.
They would tomahawk him as hard as they could.
Oh my God.
Yeah, man.
He used to complain about it.
It was funny because couch sports fans were always like, "Oh, shut the fuck up.
You're huge."
You have no idea how...
He is big, but another huge dude that's just throwing their arm as hard as they
can all game.
Dude, he gets totally fucked up from that.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, Hack a Shaq was like the beginning...
It happened before th