Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin
Uploaded: 2018-08-07T22:55:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin

Boom and we're live and we'll I pull the sucker up yeah a little closer a
little closer yeah right
about there all right how are you fellas it's fantastic how are you doing very
nice to meet
you nice to meet you too you're remarkably normal oh thanks I know people
always struck
at how normal I am I'm like just like wow really I think my my reputation
through the maze I guess
being a famous child yeah yeah that's a very unusual maze yeah my life is
unique to me that's what I
like to say you know yeah and I'm almost like a peerless person like to a
certain extent there's
not too many people I can look left and right and we you know I like we have
similar experiences yeah
is there anybody that you ever contacted like Jodie Foster or someone who's
made it through and seems
pretty put together not really like no not really I mean it's kind of a weird
cold call you know I'm
like hey Jodie Foster it's such a small clan of people like if a comic called
me that I knew you
know they wanted to talk to me I would talk to them because it's such a small
clan of people I mean we
do have our weekly therapy sessions yeah yeah you know yeah me Elijah Wood you
know Jodie Foster you
know yeah like we all get together and yeah we we weep you know actually we do
primal screaming that's
what we do I was describing when it was like I have a friend who uh Ricky Schroeder
who uh is um
yeah obviously he was very famous when he was young as well and one of my
favorite theme songs TV theme
songs of all time silver spoons oh yeah mm-hmm and I was saying like that you
the way you
developed is not like the way the recipe calls mm-hmm like the recipe calls for
you to have a
childhood and try to figure out life and then become a man and try to find
yourself and then try to find your
path and by the time you be he became a man he was already famous and the same
thing with you you
were already famous as you were developing and learning yeah you know yeah I I
I don't know exactly how to like
kind of even describe it because it's always the way my life has been kind of
thing like in the same way that like a lot of
kids like you know they go out and they you know catch bugs and play sandlot
baseball or whatever like yeah it's just like yeah like that's the way it is
like you don't really realize how unique the whole situation is until you have
perspective because you have nothing to compare
it to really other than I guess TV shows and movies right things like that so I
knew that my upbringing was unique
you know I knew I knew it was different but at the same time it's kind of just
it's not until you get some
perspective some life experience until you really realize that oh wait this
this was particularly weird you know I think one of the
aspects is particularly weird about it is a lot of kids that grow up famous
they grow up on the set yeah and they grow up constantly around people who
treat them very differently than everyone else
it's not just that you're famous it's that you're famous and you're also the
complete center of attention
mm-hmm like you're the reason why we're here we're here to do this television
show we're here to do this movie we're here to do this
thing you're the star mm-hmm and that I think for a kid that's a very strange
place to be yeah and especially
like I mean I like when I was a kid like even before I started working I always
liked being like the center of attention
kind of thing I was definitely you know I was just I was very boisterous you
know but um but in general like I never
really liked being fussed over like I didn't like you know like yeah the hair
makeup costume people like poking at you
all the time and things like that I actually wasn't a huge fan after a while of
kind of like being that center of
attention it you know it it does become a job after a while yeah you know yeah
like early on you kind of just do what you do
like that's like I was good at it and boom like in the same way like that you
do like anything that you're like you
like it's where the child labor laws don't apply to acting yeah they do do that
yeah I'm pretty well versed in
child labor laws well how's that work then it goes from state to state they can
work you like let's say like in
New York they can work you ten hours yeah but stop right there they can work
you like you can't get a job if you're eight
that's what you're that's what you're kind of like that's what their limit is
at the same time you have to get three hours
of schooling in plus an hour of lunch so really your only your available window
is only six hours or
something like that a day and then like that also in like in that six hours
they're always like setting
up the lights for the next shot and you know the hurry up and wait kind of part
of you know of things
that's why like the second home alone it took like nearly five months to film
because they can only I'm in
virtually every scene and they can only use me x amount of hours per day kind
of thing but that isn't that the only job
that you can work when you're eight years old I don't know I mean you can't be
a carpenter I mean I guess you can
do modeling you know I mean but again but like some kind of performing arts
kind of thing like there are
dancers and so forth mm-hmm because I was a I was a ballet dancer before I was
an actor really yeah I did ballet
ballet for a number of years I'm a classically trained ballerina right here wow
is it a
ballerina if you're a man I call it I say I'm a ballet dancer hmm but there is
a weird
ballerino oh like that some of them use and I'm like I'm not I don't think I
can call myself a
ballerino like I just like can't it's too bro like it's from welcome back cotter
yeah exactly yeah
babarino I'm Billy ballerino
yeah yeah so I did that for a number of years and there's a bunch of kids like
you know that do that
and you get paid and you do the work wow so you know there are other I guess
trades yeah it seems
Yeah it seems like it's a business though yeah yeah that's what I mean I think
it's more in the performing arts
kind of thing like you know you don't see a lot of kids work in the coal mines
anymore like that kind of thing yeah for good reason right but some people
think that my six-year-old dying a
black lung you know there's some horrible pictures from like the early 1900s of
people actually working in the coal mines when they're little tiny kids yeah
yeah yeah I
mean there are no newsies anymore you know like yeah did you have any say in
whether or not you worked
when you were young uh not really no no like it was after a while it became
like I said a job and it
was I like I never chose the projects they were like my parents like you know
essentially like chose
them for me so it was kind of news Macaulay yeah exactly you know yeah yeah
yeah they called
you're gonna buy us a new house yeah yeah there you go you know and like I
never read any of the scripts
like I would I would just read like the lines for like the next day or whatever
like I would like get
the gist of what the movie was about and but then I just kind of show up and
hit my marks find my
light you know uh you know and recite my lines you know so surreal it's kind of
just like again like
it's what you do right like it's like in the same way that like yeah like kids
go to like school or
something like that like you know you you fall into a routine to a certain
extent yeah well that's the
thing about the human mind right so flexible you can adopt any sort of weird
scenario and especially
when you're a kid I mean like yeah you can just bounce like all the time yeah
kids adapt so easy
exactly exactly and I always had like a good memory and things like that like
you know I liked you know I
was I was big and charismatic and I like had a good memory like so I could
remember my lines like that's
pretty much what like if you you know like not gonna give any advice to any
people about like yeah you
should put your kid into this line of work but at the same time like what
producers really care
about is whether or not you remember your lines like they like people like you
know never work with
uh uh kids or animals kind of thing and like yeah it's like yeah and they want
they really all they
really care about is you remember your lines really like because I apparently
that's a problem like
for me it never was like if I ever lost my place I would just see the script in
my head and just read
it like I like I kind of had a photographic memory back then oh it's faded now
I'm 37 I'm about to be 38 uh in like two weeks feels weird doesn't it yeah you
know yeah like uh my
my bowels are different like what's different about your bowels oh yeah no just
like a oh actually I
just got a uh doing some like random checkup kind of thing and they're like oh
we should scope you you
know so they also you know they I did the the scoping like you know in my
stomach kind of thing but they
they also uh you know I got a colonoscopy so I was actually hoping like you put
me under so I was
like it didn't really matter to me but I was gonna put you under for a colonoscopy
yeah yeah you know
at least I had that and a scoping so I think I don't know it's down the throat
I was hoping I was
actually hoping they were going to uh uh use the butt one first and then put it
in my mouth
yeah no just like just ass to mouth boom like me up but no no they apparently
they use different cameras
like all right you know yeah they're probably designed different you don't go
as deep right
but uh um because they were like all worried I might have an ulcer oh uh and so
the good good
stomach pains or something yeah yeah yeah kind of it's been a little iffy and
uh so the good news I
didn't have an ulcer bad news is I have two ulcers so wow yeah yeah so I'm
dealing with that I've
had to like curtail my lifestyle in general like I'm eating less red meat you
know less carbonated beverages
like ibuprofen no more ibuprofen like ibuprofen's terrible for your gut yeah
exactly so like I've had to
like you know I used to like eat like burgers every single day and now it's
like I can have two servings
of red meat a week kind of thing and what it wasn't too hard for me to curtail
my lifestyle like smoking less
trying to drink less like things like that yeah yeah what's the logic behind
red meat less I think I don't I
I I'm not the doctor does the doctor have a method to his madness like yeah it's
like if you read the
list of like yeah things that are good or bad for your ulcer so things that are
aggravated yeah exactly
so red meat like falls into that category like it was funny but chicken doesn't
fish doesn't
apparently not or at least you know less so weird and uh yeah my because my
special lady friend she was
like you know worried about me and stuff so she was reading up on like you know
ulcers and things like
and things like that and it was like the first like it was like seven things
that like that flare it up
and all of them were like check marks for like exactly what I was doing in my
life kind of thing like you
know I like I said red meat smoking drinking like I had just had like a neck
issue so I was taking a lot
of ibuprofen like and it was just like every single check mark you know so yeah
I've read something
about ibuprofen doing it because ibuprofen disrupts gut bacteria and they
believe that gut bacteria
what was there was something really recent about that a real recent study that
they think that they
found a new cause for ulcers like they've changed what they they used to think
it was caused by stress
which can do it like also because I just started again I have also had like I've
just started a new
company and things like that so like I have that kind of stress like kind of
thing like you know like
like I said I I hit a lot of the check marks like when you say can do it I
think what they were saying
was they used to think it can do it but now they think it's all a matter of uh
bacteria in your stomach
yeah I mean I think that's a big par