Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1171 - Nick Yarris
Uploaded: 2018-09-11T22:39:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1171 - Nick Yarris' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-09-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1171 - Nick Yarris' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-09-11. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1171 - Nick Yarris

three two one stir it up Nick we're live hello everyone hello everyone put the
ear cups on and
cheers sir oh man thank you Joe thanks for being here man yeah thank you for
bringing me out here
man I know we meant to do this before but I hope now with all this good energy
between us we can do
this properly for the Indians yeah for sure listen man to say that you've had a
crazy experience in
this life is one of the most understated things a person could ever say I mean
where do we begin
right let's tell everybody your story so you were wrongfully committed of
murder you spent 22 years
on death row before you were exonerated by DNA evidence hello everyone my name
is Nick Harris and
I was ex Joe said convicted and sentenced to die for a rape and murder I didn't
commit at the age of 21
in 1981 a woman named mrs. Craig was murdered in Delaware I had never met the
woman I was in prison
on unrelated charges and I stupidly made up a story to try and get out of those
charges the police soon
feel realized that I was a liar and they fabricated the charges around me then
so it's ironic that in
a few days you're going to Upper Derby Pennsylvania and yeah that's where the
murder happened really
basically and Linda May Craig was leaving her job at 4:05 p.m. on December 15
1981 she's going home she gets
abducted I don't know any of this but I tried in desperation to get out of a
lie that this officer
put on me for I got pulled over in a stolen car the cop beats me up he puts
charges on me I'm facing
life imprisonment and I'm a junkie because all of my life I was destroyed by
what happened to me at the
age of seven I had my head beat him by a man with a rock in his hand after he
sexually assaulted me and I did all the
stupid things that people can do in the aftermath I kept it a secret and I let
it foster all the anger
in me I became very aggressive as a child and I ended up in trouble all the
time and when I was in prison on
these unrelated charges to the murder I stupidly fell into that mindset of
desperation of trying
to get out of it so the police put a prisoner in the cell next to me he said I
confessed to him I was
given a three-day trial I was sentenced to death and put on death row and then
stupidly I escaped from
prison in 1985 and end up on the FBI's most wanted list how to get out I was
being transported to court
and the sheriffs were being cool with me at first they were talking about what
was going on in Philly
they were two nice guys like 60 68 67 and we drove five hours from one of the
hardest prisons in America
called Huntington and I left there after spending two years of my first two
years in silence so if you
opened your mouth they would come in and beat your head in so I was so glad to
get in the car because
my mom was waiting in my lawyer's office because they were going to give me a
review of my trial because
they withheld so much evidence so I was eager to go to court and it was the
coldest day of 1985
February 15th we stopped at a gas station in extant Pennsylvania and as I got
out of the car the
officer driving pulled past the cubicles now we all got out of the car and ran
over to the cubicle
together and I went in and started peeing and the officers holding the door for
me and my eyeglasses
start fogging up you know what I mean because you go from the freezing cold to
the warm to the cold
your eyeglasses so all I know is I turn around and I come out and he has the
door like that and I put
my head down go under his arm and I turn left and go back to the car and the
dude smoking a cigarette
doesn't know that his partner went in the cubicle to piss and as I'm running
back to the dude he pulls
his pistol out and point-blank shoots at me Joe like pow and as it went past my
face I was like oh
shit I hit the ground I ran and he followed me with the gun I could feel it
like I'm like I was
waiting for him to blast me you know why did he shoot at you because he thought
I overpowered his
partner oh he doesn't know his testimony at trial was I turn around Nick's
running at me my partner's
down or gone I pulled my gun and he runs and I wasn't going to let a death row
prisoner run so I tried to
stop him I shot so I run around the corner I hit the ground I ripped all the
skin off my hands
I run around the corner and I fly towards this restaurant and there's all these
people innocently
eating dinner and I'm running right towards the plate glass window because he
ain't gonna blast me
you know and I ran like I knew he couldn't shoot and then I shot around the
corner and I ran down to
a gas station I tried to steal a car that didn't work then I ran like 400 yards
400 yards 400 yards
and I hid behind the car I just escaped from and I was laying in the weeds
behind the gas station about
50 yards from them while they were screaming who was the bigger idiot for
letting this happen
and I was thinking oh my god like what am I doing what do I do Joe what like
how do I just jump up and
say wait a minute it was a mistake you know they already tried to shoot me in
the face
right so I go high behind the police station and next four hours oh my god I'm
being chased by a
helicopter and he chases me and he pins me and he chases me and I was so fit
that I ran for four
hours through the woods without care what the branches did to my face or
nothing man I blew out both uh
quads I did my my hamstrings I ripped my feet open I ran so hard in terror that
I didn't care man
and I got away and I I made it all the way to Florida and I was going to leave
the country and
all this and I said I got to go back how did you get to Florida I stole a dude's
wallet New York and
I got on an airplane and I went down to Florida and I tried to rob a drug
dealer and I tried to do just
I was sitting there I was so angry I was going to kill myself I was on uh I'll
never forget this day
I didn't want my folks to see me in prison handcuffs no more you know
so I was going to buy a raft and I was going to go out in the ocean and I was
going to have one
last party with all the foods that I loved then I was going to stab the raft
wait for the sharks
after I cut my wrist you know and then I was going to cap myself and go then I
said no I'm going back
so I turned myself back in they put me on death row in Florida and I went back
and I faced it you know
so they beat me for four minutes man they broke my face broke my back crushed
me man
tortured me and I thought I'm gonna get you back you know for all the days you
made me go in a cage
and beat some other prisoner while you stood there with a club laughing at me I'm
gonna get you back
I'm gonna make sure I start being a loving person again
so I'm sitting there in 1985 1986 with 105 years plus the death penalty
and I decided fuck this I'm gonna be a nice guy so I started to learn
okay I suffer from aphasia I had my head beaten and with a rock so what is aphasia
aphasia can be
identified simply in people who have stuttering disorder their brain and their
uh vernacular
abilities are distorted by a disruption in their brain either their brain is
functioning too fast or their mouth is
functioning too fast or there's a combination of a misfiring and aphasia can be
through trauma or through
genetics and aphasia affected my life so much as a young person I never had the
respect to listen to
people because I couldn't function I couldn't articulate I couldn't speak when
I was at trial
people spoke words that I didn't understand and it frustrated me and when I
tried to speak and
I stutter people would be like that come on retard what do you got to say so
after that beating where
they beat me for four minutes and they broke my face I began practicing
speaking to myself
every day I learned new words and I taught myself how to correctly articulate
that word into a sentence
beautifully for my own self in myself every day and then I became very very
good at writing
I began helping other prisoners I became the most dangerous prisoner that they
held because
I cared about other men I wrote to their mothers I wrote letters to their
lawyers I gave up opportunities
for people to write books about me so I could help another innocent man I did
all those things because
that's how I got back at them for that they did to me so in 1988 I'm sitting in
my cell
and I read about DNA and I knew right then I could prove my innocence so I was
the first man in America
in February of 1988 to ask for DNA testing to prove my innocence and they threw
away all the autopsy
material and when I discovered new evidence they destroyed that and this woman
who came to meet me and
started visiting me fell in love with me and she believed in me so she stood by
me and told me that
she would be with me either to the gallows walk or to the moment I proved my
innocence and for nine
years she stood by me you know and finally we found some evidence that was testable
in 1995.
what is what was the evidence it was sperm from the rape and it was being sent
out here to california to
dr edward blake and it broke open in transport and spilled so jackie left me i
had nothing left
and then they put me in a special unit and started torturing me i keep this
part quiet i never told the
story it would ruin what happened in fear of 13 that's now out on netflix but
they finally closed
down the old prison i was in for 12 years where the average rate of survival
was only five and i was
one of the hardest Jews there and i made it they closed the prison down and
they opened up green county
supermax and the courts ordered that every prisoner in pennsylvania be allowed
out of their cell for eight
hours the administration looked at each other and said that not the crazy cannibals
and not the serial
killers not the dudes that have been assault and raping each other so they
picked 48 of us out and
they put us in pittsburgh in a special penitentiary setting in which we were in
a sealed unit and they
put all these guards in there that weren't allowed to touch other prisoners
because they were so violent
and told them they were giving you the craziest of the crazy you know buffalo
bill from silence of the
lamb was a real man right his name was gary heidnik he abducted black women in
philadelphia and put them
in a pit under his house and fed one of them to the other survivors because he
was building a master
race he was my neighbor man like so they started torturing us and doing all
this psychological crazy
to us where they were feeding us to each other like wolves so i kept it all
quiet until this year when
once again misfortune fell on my life and i released monsters and madmen the
new book that i was going to give
you today and i thought you know i gotta tell that story you know but it's been
so hard to come back
from these moments joe it's just like i look at what they did to me and how i
went to that moment where
the dna is gone jackie leaves me and so i find that i'm dying from hepatitis c
that they did when they
infected me of it when they broke my teeth when they beat me so i asked to be
executed i said
i studied all the world's religions i read over 9 000 books i did everything in
piety my mother
asked me to do us in prison i don't want to die like dale carter did with the
guards coming to his cell and
taunting him you know teasing him and listen to a man scream in agony because
the bile in his belly is
killing him so i wrote to the courts and i asked to be executed i said it man i
want to die as a man i
love who can respect himself the court intervened and ordered the dna testing
that was going to be done on
the evidence is spilled in july of 2003 the dna test come back and they proved
me innocent how did so the
the the evidence spilled and they just captured it once it spilled it was in a
box with all this evidence
and dr edward blake who did the oj simpson trial dna said that there would be
challenges to it if he did
the dna in 1999 1998. in 2003 they had advanced mitochondrial dna separation so
well that he felt
confident in his results so the federal