Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1209 - Anthony Cumia
Uploaded: 2018-12-01T02:09:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1209 - Anthony Cumia' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-12-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1209 - Anthony Cumia' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-12-01. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1209 - Anthony Cumia

I don't think that would pan out.
I had a similar idea.
Anthony Cumia, we're live, sir.
I love it.
Joe Rogan.
If it was not for you, this would not exist.
Which is insane.
That is 100% actual fact.
I was watching you doing live from the compound.
Me and Brian Redband were sitting in my fucking living room,
and we were watching you.
You were fucking playing karaoke.
You were singing karaoke with a machine gun in front of a green screen.
And I was like, this guy just set up his own studio.
He already has Opie and Anthony's show.
At the time, you guys were on SiriusXM.
And you just decided to do this thing in your basement just for a goof.
Yeah, it was like a hobby.
It's like guys who don't have kids, who are not married, don't have kids,
don't have anybody telling them what to do, and they also have disposable
income.
Then you get to see what guys really want to do.
They want to sing karaoke with a machine gun in front of a green screen.
Yeah, it was crazy gun guy karaoke, so I could do that.
If I was married, I would have a wife that would lose her mind at my living
room.
Like my living room table that you're supposed to have a candle on and little tchotchkes
and stuff
is a widescreen computer monitor and a gaming system right next to the table.
I have a gaming computer that's just unbelievable.
And I sit there and just play video games.
So the table itself is a gaming monitor?
Yeah, the whole table.
Is it one of those touchscreen ones?
No, it's a giant wide monitor.
It's like 40 inches wide.
So that's the table?
No, it's on the table.
Oh, on the table.
Yeah, the table's this big heavy metal thing.
But it's just everything.
There's VR goggles up on the console by the TV.
It's just sensors around the room for the VR.
It's a playground.
And you're absolutely right.
Guys will spend their money on having fun if allowed to.
That's what this place is.
This place is insane, Joe.
I can't do this in my house.
You go to my house, it's my wife's house.
See?
That's how it works.
I have one elk head on the wall.
That's all I have.
That's all you're allowed.
I laugh at guys when they have the man cave.
They're like, dude, come on down to the man cave.
The chicks aren't allowed down here.
I got this, the TV, that.
And I'm like, no.
Her place is the whole house.
She relegated you to one room.
And you're happy about it.
You're happy that you got one room.
Happy wife, happy life.
That's apparently it.
It didn't work.
It didn't work for me.
You know the Thoreau quote that I say way too many times in this podcast, but I
love the quote.
Most men live lives of silent desperation.
Wow.
Yeah.
That is true.
It's 100% true.
It was, I was married for a time and it was a nightmare.
It was a living hell for me.
The only thing that got me through as many years as I was married, because I
was married nine years.
And I don't remember one happy year out of those nine, but I had gotten into
radio pretty early on in that marriage.
And that was my life.
So I dedicated myself.
No matter how miserable anything else in my life was, I was doing radio.
So I thought it was awesome.
I have a theory about that.
I really do.
I think that a person needs a certain amount of suffering in their life.
And if you look at some of the all-time great comics, or even all-time great
radio personalities, like Howard Stern.
Yeah.
Howard Stern, during his heyday, when he was the fucking man, was miserable at
home.
Right?
And he would talk about it.
He would hide in his basement.
I love those stories, yeah.
And you would realize, like, here's this guy.
He's the biggest radio personality ever.
He's huge, and yet he's got to hide.
And he's just talking about masturbating and hiding from his wife, and he can't
get any sex.
And you're like, it didn't matter if he was huge.
It didn't matter if he was famous.
It didn't matter how rich he was.
It didn't matter.
Yeah.
He's just hiding in the basement.
And that angst came out on the radio.
Like, you related to him.
You understood it.
Yeah, I get that.
And it worked for me, because there was a lot of misery.
Like, when I started doing really well, we moved back to New York from Boston
after we got fired, Opie and myself.
You guys got fired for saying that the mayor died?
Is that what happened?
Yeah, it was an April Fool's gag.
And because we always thought the radio April Fool's jokes were so stupid and
hokey.
And, you know, we changed the format to all Elvis.
And it's like, after 10 minutes, they say, April Fool's.
So we're like, let's just go balls out and say the mayor's dead and have a news
guy come on and report it and everything.
And then it was supposed to subsequently get more outrageous as the show went
on.
So by the end of it, there was a Taiwan male hooker in the car with him, and
they crashed because he was getting a blowjob or something.
Like, it was going to get really ridiculous.
But they stopped it early on and never allowed us to even mention it, so people
really thought he died.
Although it's kind of stupid.
You go to the O&A show for your news.
But back then, the internet wasn't what it is now.
Exactly.
The internet was barely a thing.
It was barely a thing, because that was 97, around there, 98.
What year did you get on?
You were probably early.
I was on really early, like the 80s.
I was on bulletin board servers and used to play trivia games with a 300-baud
modem with people.
And I thought it was amazing, even then.
And then when we were up in Boston, I bought a digital camera that was just
this giant thing.
And I had a laptop, another giant thing.
And I would take pictures of what was going on in the studio and then post them
that night on a website that I figured out.
I used to code the HTML myself and make a website just to post pictures and
links.
And people thought it was amazing.
Like, you're seeing what we talked about that day.
It wasn't instant, but it was pretty cool.
And then I started doing videos.
I was able to put video, like maybe eight-second clips of nude girls, if they
were in the studio, and pop that up.
And people loved it.
And then I got a bill from the company for bandwidth.
And I didn't know bandwidth.
It was a $12,000 bill for a month.
Yeah, yeah.
Because there was no compression or anything.
I'm pumping video out to thousands of people uncompressed.
And apparently, they had that happen a couple of times.
So they told me, just don't do it again.
They didn't make me pay, which was pretty cool.
Wow.
But at that point, I had to learn about coding and compression and things like
that.
So you just kept doing it and just put them in some sort of a compressed format?
Yeah, yeah.
What did you use?
Do you remember back then?
Oh, God.
I think it was like, for audio, it was real audio, which was hilarious.
That's right.
The little player.
Yeah, the real audio player would pop up.
And then for video, God, I can't even remember what it was.
But it was terrible.
It was all pixelated, you know, like 10 frames per minute.
Isn't it weird that things like real audio, which was everywhere, they just
quit.
Yeah, they gave up.
Are they around still?
Yeah.
Unless they changed into something else, you know.
Yeah, they might have got bought out by somebody.
Got eaten up.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that happens to everything.
But honestly, if it was not for you and your show, live from the compound, and
for Opie and Anthony.
Hilarious.
Because Opie and Anthony was the first radio show that I realized, where I ever
realized, you don't really have to have a format.
Yeah.
You could just talk.
Yeah, it was just kind of a talk thing.
It was a hang.
It was a hang.
And a lot of the, we were on the same company, it was the same company as
Howard Stern, CBS Radio.
Oh, look at that.
Real is still here?
Wow.
It says it makes stories from your videos and photos now, but this is exactly
what it is.
It's real.com.
It's a real player.
It automatically makes video stories from your best photos.
Sorry to cut you off there.
Ew.
Ew, it's ew now.
It's like a kind of montage-y.
iPhone does it automatically now.
Yeah, yeah.
It used to be a good way to watch porn with weird codecs.
Codecs, yeah.
Right, when porn had a weird codecs, you know, like, who fucking, who compiled
this?
Yeah.
And then you'd get it, you'd watch it on RealPlayer.
Yeah.
Like when you'd get porn from BitTorrent.
Yeah, yeah.
And sometimes you wouldn't have anything on your computer to play it.
Let's say, codec not available.
Yeah, exactly.
You'd get pissed off because you like the thumbnail.
You'd have to go find it like, fuck.
Yeah.
It's like, no, that thumbnail was awesome.
I got to see this.
I remember the first time I ever got a porn video sent to me.
I was like, this is crazy.
Yeah, yeah.
You could watch a porn video.
Before, it was just photos.
The photos were insane because I guess it was around the mid-90s.
My brother had picked up an Apple computer.
I don't even know what model it was or anything, but it was pretty good for the
time.
And I just sat in front of that thing for hours and hours on end, just one porn
pic.
It was no videos, just pictures.
And you know how they used to scroll.
Sometimes it was a corrupt file, so halfway down it would just turn white and
pixelated and zigzaggy.
But just for hours, just one more, one more, one more.
And it would go, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick, tick, tick.
It would slowly emerge, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick,
tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
It was very, very compelling.
Yeah, you'd sit there just waiting for the tits.
It's like a 3D printer is faster now than it was downloading photos on a 14K
modem.
Yeah, yeah.
It's insane to think of the technology end of it because you got thumb drives
with more memory than entire computers had just a few years ago.
And I remember, I guess it was Bill Gates or something said, you'll never need
anything more powerful than a 486 back years ago.
And it's like, what, a couple of megs of memory and just crazy.
The demand for computer power got way out of hand.
And especially with games and stuff because I'm a huge gaming guy.
Now, you download a game like Red Dead Redemption 2 or Call of Duty, and it's
75 to 100 gigs.
Really?
Those games.
Yeah.
And it's like, that would have been 100 computers.
And to think of those floppy disks you used to get games on, it would have been
a pallet stacked up like six feet high of those disks to load it on a computer.
Yeah, like the old Doom game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't load that with a floppy disk.
Yeah, you just make those sounds, and hopefully it would work.
And yeah, now you just download them.
I haven't been to a gaming store in years because with Origin or Steam, you
just download the game right off your offline.
So if you want to get Red Dead Redemption 2, you just download it.
You just download it.
Like, I don't know who goes to GameStop or anything anymore.
People still do, though.
I mean, there's one in the mall.
I've seen people walk in.
Yeah, I've seen it.
Is that Xbox?
Maybe for used games.
Yeah, Xbox and PlayStation.
But at Xbox, you could download too, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And PlayStation.
All those things.
Yeah, you just plug that Cat 6 or whatever it is.
I was having a conversation with Jordan Peterson about this yesterday off air.
I was saying, I'm really, I get concerned because I feel like all of our
information, like the vast majority of it is now digital.
I mean, we have some things that are written down on paper, but even paper, so
it's so easy to break and burn and fuck up.
I mean, we lost most of the information about Egypt when they burned the
library of Alexandria.
Who knows?
I mean, there could have been all sorts of schematics and some diagrams,
detailed diagrams, how they built some of the things they built.
Yeah.
Lost it all.
You know, that easily could happen to us, and then we'd be starting from
scratch again.
Yeah.
When it takes some form of electricity to get to all this information, you're
really d