Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1225 - Theo Von
Uploaded: 2019-01-16T01:00:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1225 - Theo Von' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1225 - Theo Von' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1225 - Theo Von

Well, you know Alcoholics Anonymous was created by a guy who was into LSD. Yeah,
Bill W.
A real baller. Jamie, I want to show you
through your sweater. And it's not a bad sweater. It's a sweatshirt you're
wearing. It's very cool.
But this is a symptom of everything that's wrong.
Go ahead.
Are we on yet? Yeah, we're on.
It's got fake short sleeves. It's got fake short sleeves over long sleeves. So
the short sleeves are sewed in.
Not sewed. It's not sewed. It's not attached.
How does it work then? The short sleeves. It's just over top. It comes apart.
But this sleeve part. It's not there. It's not attached at all. It's separate.
So it's two pieces? Yeah. I didn't know that when I bought it either.
But when you pull the sleeve up, what happens? Nothing. It can come off.
Oh, it goes all the way over the top. Oh, I see. It's like a separate hood.
So do you wear the two of them together or are they sewed on?
Yeah, I just bought it. There's a whole Rocky thing that this company did.
They had a whole bunch of pieces. And I was like, oh, that's kind of cool.
So Sylvester Stallone is slated to come on the podcast. You will wear that,
correct?
When he's here? Please.
Okay.
All right. So is that, but the upper shirt is just laid over the top short,
long sleeve
shirt? So you could wear one without the other? Like you could wear the short
sleeve one?
Oh, okay.
It's just two sweatshirts, you know, but it's the training montage.
Oh, it comes, it comes as a team.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it heavy or is it light?
It is not light at all. I'm starting to sweat right now. I never shut this door.
But that'll make you stronger if you got a heavy shirt.
I think that's the idea.
So we are here and if some shit goes down, I may have to bolt from the podcast
because
there's mandatory evacuations all around here.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is it?
Where I live all in Ventura County, there's all these mandatory bees. Yeah,
honeybees.
Is it really?
Yeah, they're making too much honey.
What is it?
Mudslides.
Oh, wow. I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I had to pull off La Cienega one time. They had a bunch of bees on there.
What? Really?
Yeah. Huge hives, man.
Wow.
And you see, you know, a lot of homeless people and they don't do anything.
But when bees show up, they fucking get to doing shit, you know?
That's one thing I noticed quickly.
They get out of there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Isn't it interesting how they get motivated by bees?
Yeah.
Bees will motivate anybody.
Yeah.
You know, you're not all cracked out once the bees show up.
Dude, I watched bees communicate with each other once.
I was on the set of Fear Factor and we covered these people with bees.
And then a neighboring colony, a colony that actually lived there, a local
colony, came and were like,
what are you guys doing here?
And the bees all flew up in the sky together and sorted it out in the sky.
Really?
It was wild.
We had a, the guy told us, like the beekeeper, he's like, everybody's got to
stand down.
We've got to back up, get out of the area.
We're like, what?
He's like, yeah, they have to communicate.
I thought he was joking.
Let them do it, huh?
He's like, they have to talk it out.
I'm like, whoa, they talk?
What are they going to say?
There's something going on with them that we, you know, we just kind of subtly,
we sort of get what they do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're kind of like little, little kind of liaisons.
It seems like, like, I wonder if in the future we'll know that like certain
animals can like, you know, take messages around for us.
And like, if you told an animal something, it could go tell, you know, like I
wonder if we'll start using animals more because animals are, we don't use them
that much.
I mean, they're sitting around most of the time.
Right.
I read something about, they were trying to encode information in DNA.
We could ask Mike Tyson about his pigeons.
Yeah.
I think that's different though.
They carry pigeons though, but then pigeons used to carry shit long distances.
How about Game of Thrones?
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For sure.
But whatever, for whatever reason, it makes more sense with birds.
Yeah.
Right?
Like a bird seems like you should be able to train it a little bit.
Oh, bird, you could train some birds, I think.
Some birds, I think, would do their own thing.
Let me ask you this.
If you had an important message, would you just send one raven?
That's what I never got.
How about you send a flock of these motherfuckers?
What are you, crazy?
What if that goddamn thing gets eaten?
What if an eagle jacks from along the way?
The fate of your kingdom is at hand, sir.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can't put that on the back of one bird, dude.
I would send a bird nobody would expect, you know, like a little warbler or
something or a nightingale.
Oh, that's a good move.
Yeah.
You got to send a bird that nobody wants to shoot, though.
Yeah.
Because people like to shoot birds.
Well, owl, too.
Dude, we had owl two Thanksgivings ago.
We had two owls at my sister's house.
Yeah, I saw one last night, actually.
Did you?
Yeah, it was pretty good.
No, not last night.
Night before last.
It was pretty fucking cool.
Pulled into the driveway and an owl took off.
It was big, too.
It's gross, I think.
Owls?
The meat.
Oh, you ate them, you're saying?
Yeah, but the...
You guys ate owls?
Yeah.
I don't think that's legal.
You probably shouldn't say that on the podcast.
Well, I didn't have a lot.
Bill Burr used to have a joke about a date.
I didn't have a lot, man.
I had no joke.
I think I even spit it out.
I'm not even joking.
It's like Bill Clinton when you smoked that weed.
And they had two.
They didn't have all the things.
They don't have a lot of meat on them.
I fucking don't like owls.
They're predators.
They're important.
That's why you don't have rats everywhere.
Yeah, but I think they're violent and they're dirty and they get this...
Owls, whoever did their PR, you notice everybody thinks they're smart and they
can read and they're like...
Yeah, they had a good PR agent, right?
Yeah, look at that.
We only got one up, Jamie.
But see how much little meat is on them?
You think there's more.
Look at...
He's kidding, folks.
He's kidding, folks.
He's not eating owls.
The one in the middle looks like it's from another planet.
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's what...
That's what it really looks like.
That's what it looks like.
Underneath all that fluff.
It's a little alien.
A little alien raptor creature.
It's like a crab.
It looks like a crab.
I was driving home when one was flying above me on the road and dropped a
rabbit.
He had got a rabbit and jacked it and he was flying with the rabbit.
And as he was flying, just decided, like, maybe he decided the car was too
close to him
or was too loud or something like that.
I just dropped that rabbit and said, fuck it.
And I stopped the car to check it out.
I was like, whoa.
That's flirting, really.
It sounds like.
Flirting?
Oh, if a bird drops a rabbit at your feet?
Hey, bitch.
Yeah.
It's ready to fuck.
Probably.
Yeah.
Like an offering.
Look what I got for you.
More where that came from.
Dude, they're predators, man.
We never thought of them growing up as predators.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
They told us they were wise.
They had that monocle like fucking Bud Friedman from Evening at the Improv.
Remember that?
Oh, like that Planner's Peanut.
Bud Friedman from Evening at the Improv.
His whole deal was he had a, I loved Evening at the Improv when I was a kid.
You never saw it.
Oh, man.
That was like one of the reasons why I got into stand-up comedy.
I used to watch these TV shows.
They had syndicated TV shows that they would do.
You know, VH1 had one.
MTV had the half-hour comedy hour.
What time did it come on at?
I don't remember, man.
I don't remember.
That was Bud.
But it was probably on late at night.
It looks like that Planner's Nut.
Daniel, I think that guy's name is.
Bud Friedman was one of the owners.
He sold it eventually and cha-ching, cashed out.
What about from Brian Friedman in the left corner?
That's a different dude.
Yeah.
Interesting.
A lot of Friedmans out there.
But anyway, Bud ran, he was the host of Evening at the Improv and he would come
out with
that monocle.
Go back to that monocle picture again, lower left.
Bam.
That was him.
Oh, wow.
See, Google Bud Friedman Evening at the Improv.
That's what I did.
That's what I did?
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Nice guy.
Real nice guy.
Yeah?
He was?
Yeah, real nice guy.
Always a sweetheart to me.
Always very, very friendly.
He was a very gregarious guy.
And he basically was one of the original owners of the Improv and Evening at
the Improv.
I don't know the full history of the Improv.
I probably should.
But I think, I want to say it started out in New York.
Yeah.
Because I know there were ones everywhere at one point in time.
They had one in Boston for a little bit.
In Improv?
Yeah, yeah.
They had one in Boston and then they changed it to a different name.
It started in Hell's Kitchen in 1963.
Yeah.
So that was probably one of the original stand-up comedy clubs.
Probably one of the top two or three.
Do you have a favorite, like a club when you were doing clubs more?
Did you have a favorite one?
I was just happy to get on stage back then, you know.
I mean, I had favorite ones, like Nick's Comedy Stop was always a favorite in
Boston.
Right.
Stitches, but Stitches moved a couple of times.
Stitches moved twice.
What about any of the Funny Bones, or did you go to any of those places?
Yeah.
Well, for the Boston clubs, the Comedy Connection was the big one.
And now that's the Wilbur Theater.
It's really weird because it used to be the smallest club in town and everybody
wanted to work it.
It was like a hundred and, ooh, I want to say they could stuff maybe 150 people.
People in there, but I mean, it's stuffed.
I mean, this room, this ceiling was low, you know.
I mean, I'm 5'8", and I remember I could, I'm pretty sure I could touch the
ceiling.
So this shit is low.
So if you were like Owen Smith, or, you know, someone tall.
Somebody with a long arm.
Yeah, like, it's a big-ass stage for you.
Like, big people would look real weird on that stage.
Yeah.
But the laughs would be so contained.
It was so low ceiling and tight.
I love that.
I love that.
That was great. I saw Hicks there for the first time.
First time I ever saw him was there.
I was like, whoa.
He was doing this bit about Jimi Hendrix meeting Tiffany at the mall.
Tiffany the singer?
Oh, yeah.
Because she was real popular then.
I think we're alone now.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, that song will make you just be erect.
I remember being on the school bus so fucking erect, bro.
Dude, I remember that shit, bro.
Dude, I loved being erect when I was young, man.
Now it's whatever.
Now it's like, fuck, do I have to do something now?
What does my dick need me to do?
Right.
It's like eating an owl.
Yeah.
So over it.
I'll tell you this.
If you want to feed a family of four, you can't just have one owl.
I will say that, though.
Well, if you look at what it looks like without the feathers, it looks like a
fucking demon.
Yeah.
You know?
It's a real bait and switch, I feel like.
That's one of God's hidden agendas.
Well, I was talking to someone about peacocks about this, and I started talking
about it on stage.
That, like, peacocks are pretty, but if you took their feathers off, you'd want
to kill it with a hammer.
Yeah.
Like, what is that thing?
What the fuck is that?
You wouldn't let that thing anywhere near your kids.
Well, it looks, yeah.
Like, if peacocks have their feathers on, you let your kids get right close to
them.
Oh, yeah.
Beautiful.
But a peacock with no feathers, dark skin, like, charcoal-covered skin.
They're dirty.
And the little nubs all over it.
Oh, look at that.
That creepy fuck.
Look at that.
That creepy little murderer.
Looks like a little twink out on the town, huh?
It's a little creepy murderer.
Probably a little gray and pink murderer.
Is that what it looks like with mange?
Oh, look at that.
Is that rea