Name: JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub
Uploaded: 2019-01-17T00:33:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-17. Transcript available. Joe is joined by Brendan Schaub to discuss some upcoming fights.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-17. Transcript available. Joe is joined by Brendan Schaub to discuss some upcoming fights.

JRE MMA Show #56 with Brendan Schaub

My phone calls.
I get nothing to hide.
Yeehaw!
And we're live, ladies and gentlemen.
So I get a message.
Oh shit, just like that?
Just like that, bitches.
I get a message from a friend of mine who says that while he was listening to
the show,
we were talking about something, and then the ads for that thing started
showing up.
Yeah, it's Fong from PlastiCell.
He said, you guys were talking about slouching with Theo Vaughn today,
and this popped up on his feed just now.
I never Googled it before, and it's some fucking alarm that goes off when you
slouch for it.
Have you seen those things?
You glue them on you?
I've been getting an ad for that, too.
Oh, you have?
So it might be a coincidence.
It could be that, or they could be targeting Joe Rogan listeners.
Yeah, which is what they do.
It's the way it works.
So they found out that we were listening?
No, they could just be going.
I mean, maybe that, but there's a large audience here, so they could just be
going after.
Right, but do you think, like what Adam Greenchie said the other day,
that he was talking about Toyota trucks,
and then all of a sudden his Google ads started showing up Toyota Tacomas.
And he was like, dude, he goes, they're listening.
The robots are listening.
Someone's listening, but they're also looking for, like, key terms and stuff
like that.
But they're listening to your phone as you're having a conversation.
You think?
Yes.
I have a few instances.
I took screenshots because it happened three consecutive weeks.
I touched something.
I literally, like, held the object in my hand.
And within 12 hours, I was getting an ad for it.
Maybe your magic, bro.
It's very strange.
One of them, I have a little explanation.
The other two are, like, they're so weird.
It's like, how the fuck am I getting an ad for this thing now?
I've never even seen this.
I've never talked about it to anybody.
I didn't tell anybody I was holding it.
Yeah, you got to always be careful of, like, this idea, you know,
because sometimes things are just a coincidence.
And this idea that there's some grand conspiracy
when it could be easily explained by a coincidence.
But the thing that Adam said, he said, he goes,
mate, I never fucking Googled Toyota trucks.
Is that a good, uh, let's try it again.
Not really.
Not bad.
Not that good.
A little British.
Hey, mate.
Um, but he was saying that, uh,
they started popping up right after the podcast.
Immediately.
So if that's the case, they had to be listening to his podcast.
Or they were listening.
One of them's listening, because you have a large audience,
someone from there is listening to it live.
Right.
And then they're just like, dude, they launched those ads.
Yeah, but how does it get on his Google feed?
Hmm.
Yeah.
You think they would spoil more fucking crime and stuff
if they're listening to everything?
No, you don't make money spoiling crime, bro.
Oh, come on, man.
You make money selling trucks.
I don't know.
I mean, I, I, I feel like for sure when I Google something,
it starts popping up.
We know that.
But that seems normal.
Oh, dude.
If you go on my phone right now,
because I've been looking at Dodge Vipers,
anything I click on, Dodge Vipers pop up.
You've got ads on Instagram.
Really?
Yeah.
They just want to.
They're just trying to get you.
They know.
Or like when I look at houses.
Yeah.
Certain house markets pop up.
It's weird.
They know.
They know.
This motherfucker's looking to spend some money.
Yeah.
Speaking of spending some money,
Ford, why do you hate America?
They released the new GT500 only in automatic.
Oh, my God.
What a shame.
What a shame.
Is it only automatic?
Only automatic.
I didn't know that I posted on my story
because some dude was like,
Shob, when you get one of these?
I was like, God, that thing is dope.
And I posted with like a thinking face.
Now that's automatic.
Ain't happening.
People go, well, you have a PDK GT3 RS.
It's different.
Well, it's also that's the only way they make it.
It's only the way they make the GT3 RS.
The RS, yeah.
I mean, you could get a GT3 or an R.
I get it.
People don't want to shift.
They get stuck in traffic.
I get it.
But there's a lot of other cars you can get.
The GT500, it used to only be stick.
Like the GT350.
Well, you know why they're doing it
because they want to compete with everyone.
Because on the track, the PDKs beat the best racers in the world.
Like my brothers tell me about this article he was reading
where I think it was the new GT3 RS.
And maybe it was the new GT3
because there's one in PDK.
There's one in stick.
They had one of the best race car drivers in the world
driving the stick shift.
Then they had some average dumbass driving the PDK.
And they were going around the track
and the PDK smoked this dude.
The guy with the stick shift smoked him.
Yeah, but what are you trying to do?
If you're just trying to buy a car for the track, I get it.
But how many people are buying a car for the track?
You're looking at them, bro.
I race on the track.
No, I don't.
I have no idea.
I don't give a shit.
I just like the feeling.
And it's kind of lame because I have that slingshot,
the Polar slingshot.
And that stick shift, and that's like a tricky stick shift.
Well, that's that little tiny cage with wheels.
Dangerous as shit.
But because it's a stick shift,
I like not being able to pay attention to my phone.
I like having to worry about all the cars around me.
Like, I like that feeling.
Yeah.
I like the feeling of the road and the stick shift.
Yeah.
I dig that.
I want that in a car now.
Yeah.
That's how my Corvette is.
That little 65 Corvette, that thing's so small.
Pump some life into you, though.
Oh, God.
Do you drive it to the store?
All the time.
Yeah.
It wakes you up, right?
Yeah, it wakes you up.
Well, it's so loud.
It's got side pipes.
It's a stick shift.
Big old hearse.
Fucking cue ball on the top.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what you want.
That's what they used to have with the GT500.
I had a GT500 way back in 2012.
It was glorious.
Big old rumbly fucking...
I had a convertible, too.
Hell, yeah.
Damn right you did.
It was great.
Put the top down.
Loud as fuck.
But also, we get too comfy with the...
You know, if you drive your freaking M5, it's so cushy, and everything's kind
of...
Yeah, there it is.
Look at that.
That thing looks dope as shit.
Look at the front view.
See, go with a silver GT500.
Pull that up.
There's a shitload of carbon fiber in it now, yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a bunch of shit, like the splitter and a bunch of the aero stuff.
Look at that one right there.
Look at that.
Oh.
That thing is filthy.
That looks so good.
That looks so good.
I love that.
But it's a goddamn automatic.
Like, why'd they do that?
Just to compete, man.
So, when you look on Motor Trend, it says...
Have it as an option.
I agree.
I bet they'll have it as an option, yeah?
Have it as an option, and they give you a skirt when you climb into it.
It said the transmission was made specifically for this car, just to get
performance out
of it.
Yeah.
That's all they want, is the performance.
So, they can say, hey, this competes with...
You know, I would still drive that, even though it's an automatic.
I would drive it as a daily driver.
Yeah.
I agree.
750 horsepower, daily driver.
757, it says it.
Is that what it is?
That thing's probably pretty light, yeah?
With all the carbon fiber, that thing's a fucking rocket.
I don't think it's light at all.
Check the weight, Jamie.
I bet it's 3,900 pounds easy.
Do you think it's almost 4,000?
No way.
Yeah.
Yeah, I bet it is.
Does it have all the cushy shit in it?
3 seconds, 60.
Yeah.
Mid 3 second, 0 to 60.
Yeah, I bet it's 3,900 pounds.
Google GT350R, they'll have the curb weight on...
If there's a bunch of carbon fiber, it's not going to be that heavy.
Nah, that carbon fiber is mostly for looks.
No.
Yeah.
It's so strong, dude.
Yeah, but it's mostly for looks.
Like, it's not making it that much light.
3,700 pounds.
And that's the most track-ready one.
So, this is going to be heavier than the GT350 because it has a supercharger on
it.
The supercharger and all that other jazz is probably about 100 pounds.
So, yeah.
It's like 3,800 pounds.
3,700.
Yeah, for that one.
But that's the 350.
The GT500 has a big-ass Whipple supercharger on it.
To make it even heavier.
Sounds so good, though.
You ever hear a supercharger whine?
Fuck yeah.
That's American power, though.
You know, they're not light.
They're heavy, you know, big-ass engines.
Well, that's the thing.
It's like...
That's what you want, kind of, isn't it?
They're trying to make a muscle car a precision scalpel instrument, like a 911
GT3.
It's not that.
It's a different thing.
It's not what we're looking for.
Like, that white car that I have, the GT3 RS, the Shark Works car, that car is
a scalpel.
It's precision.
It's effortless.
The way it handles and maneuvers.
And it's just a different experience.
But a muscle car is supposed to thrill you.
It's supposed to be exciting.
Yeah, you don't want to...
Yeah, it's not going to beat any fucking track times.
No.
No way you care, man.
You're not trying to...
I mean, what are you, Nicolas Cage and gone in 60 seconds?
Stop.
My brother always says that.
Stop.
Any car, I'm like, my thing would beat the shit out of that.
He's like, not on the track, though.
I'm like, I'm on the 405.
I don't give a fuck.
What is this?
Vin Diesel, would I look like?
On the track.
I know.
It's so irresponsible to even be able to sell these cars.
Like, when they're selling these Corvettes, these new Corvette ZR1s with 757
horsepower,
they have a sub three second zero to 60.
It's like 2.6 seconds.
There needs to be, like, an IQ test for that thing.
Yeah.
Not even a driving test.
Like, what?
Do you believe in flat earth?
You know what I'm saying?
What about that fucking...
What do you think of Pizzagate?
What about that new Tesla Roadster is going to be zero to 60 in under two
seconds?
That's trouble, because every moron that doesn't know a car is getting Tesla,
because
it's like the new Prius is a cool thing to do, and so they get those things,
and they're
fucking lightning rods.
Lightning rods.
I can't...
I just...
I know I'm super old school.
I can't fucks with them.
I don't like them.
I get in Callens.
It bumps me out.
It's just not for me, man.
I just...
I don't...
I like the sound of an engine.
I like...
I don't know.
I don't like...
You feel like you're driving an iPod.
I don't care how fucking fast it goes.
It's just...
It does nothing for me.
Callen goes back and forth from complaining about it to telling you how you
should get one.
Oh, I know.
It's very strange.
It depends what day you catch him.
It depends which day it is.
It's like he's trying to talk you into it, so he doesn't feel alone out there.
He's like, I love that thing.
I fucking love that thing.
The next day, he's like, I don't do that.
That thing, the charge, I just don't know, man.
He goes, should I get a Porsche?
Should I be like you and Joe?
Should I get a Porsche?
I'm like...
Should I be like you and Joe?
Not for you, man.
He should get something that's reliable that he could drive around everywhere.
You know, like a BMW or something.
Yeah.
Like, you should get like a five series.
You should get three series.
But his ego won't let him.
He needs a big car.
Really?
Oh, he won't get a small car, no.
Why does he need a big car?
You know, it's Callen, man.
He likes a big car?
Well, yeah.
He wants to be manly, you know?
He's not going to get just...
Big cars are manly?
To him, it's Brian, bro.
But if he wants to be manly, why would he get a car that doesn't make any noise?
Because he doesn't even think about that.
He doesn't care about like dual...
If you ask him what dual exhaust is, he'd be like, I have no idea.
He doesn't know what dual exhaust is.
No, it's fucking...
He's not into that stuff.
Those details.
You know what happened?
He took a chance way back in the day.
I want to say like 2002 or 2003.
He had a Ford Bronco.
Like 1969 Ford Bronco.
It was badass.
Really?
Yeah, yeah,