Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1270 - Lenny Clarke
Uploaded: 2019-03-26T00:39:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1270 - Lenny Clarke' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-26. Transcript available. Lenny Clarke is a legendary Boston comic and actor.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1270 - Lenny Clarke' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-26. Transcript available. Lenny Clarke is a legendary Boston comic and actor.

Joe Rogan Experience #1270 - Lenny Clarke

five four three two one fucking yee-haw Lenny Clark ladies and gentlemen and
his brother Mike
Mike Clark the second man to ever give me paid work ever in my entire
professional career opening
up for Lenny at Jay's in Pittsfield yeah right yeah I remember that Norm LaFoe
gig I don't even
off norms around anymore but I remember that gig like it was yesterday that guy
paid my rent many
times many times good guy and you did too working for you paid my roommate I
worked for I worked for
Mike one of the craziest gigs I ever did yeah I think it was a one-and-done you
never did it again
it was a restaurant and I was in the seating area and the microphone for the
people when they announced
their table was tied to the PA system so you'd be in the middle of this punchline
he'd be like so I
said to the guy Clark party party to Clark your table's ready like oh no was
that that wasn't the
Mexican place down it wasn't Mexican place it was a seafood place oh yeah I had
a lot of one-nighters
back in the day well that was the beautiful thing about being a comic in Boston
is that if you lived
in Boston you could go anywhere within like an hour two hours outside the city
and work basically every
weekend yeah it was Tuesday through Sunday Joe yeah you know we were working
seven nights a week at one
point it was so much you know and cash yeah cash cash cash well it was amazing
but it was also terrible
because a lot of people were very bad with the taxes when they uh I always but
my mother told me don't
fool around with the taxes or the mob you might have been the only guy oh I
paid I paid well you might have been the only
guy everybody else got hamstring yeah noxie got killed Kenny got killed killed
and then when they
got killed it was like hundreds of thousands oh it was because it was years and
years and you know and
you gotta make that up like fuck yeah yeah there's no getting out there's no
getting out you wind up
paying it for the rest of your life it's like student loans or something you
know what are you doing out
here what's going on uh I came out to do this just this well no there's a
little bit more uh I was gonna do uh
Kimmel but uh Smilf got cancelled what does Smilf single mother I'd like to
fuck it was on
the show on the show you were doing it's come to this yeah uh and and and and I
played Rosie O'Donnell's
love interest wow and I love I love Rosie you know I gave Rosie a break 35
years ago she never forgot it
you know and she's always been great to me so we were going to do that and then
it didn't pan out and
the show got cancelled so for sexual impropriety or something that had nothing
to do with me oh really
that's why it got cancelled yeah evidently I don't know I you know someone
behind the scenes yeah
yeah I don't know what happened used to be that was the norm yeah you know now
shows get cancelled
for that crazy and now oh thank god they didn't have cameras cell phones went
early on I'd still be
doing time I'd be in forever you're kidding me uh then we're going down to uh
to do the navy seals
family foundation a big fundraiser we do every year is that in san diego yeah
yeah yeah down in
Coronado Coronado and a good buddy of ours Kerry Jackson's this navy seal that
we golf with one
day and we've been in touch with ever since he's they're the real badass yeah
yeah Coronado's that
island right yes I've never been oh yeah it's supposed to be beautiful I went
down and Mike said do the
obstacle course it's all right so I climbed the rope that was a then there's
these logs and I go to the
logs I've run across there was spinning logs no one thought I nearly broke my
back that was it that was
yeah to step on them yeah yeah run across they're rolling as you're running
across yeah it's not easy
not easy you have a mouthpiece no I had nothing because it seems like oh yeah
well thank god we were
the only ones out there yeah yeah well at Coronado Island I think that's where
Dick Cheney lives
is that right yeah a lot of or Donald Rumspell one of them rich warmonger type
dudes yeah there's
a lot of a lot of money out there yeah I was in Rumspell's office at the
Pentagon did you have a cross on you
well no but you know my buddy who was with me was reading the stuff on his desk
because he's a
contractor and he can read upside down you know and so really so this this god
marine or whatever
realized what he was doing came over covering it up I said what'd you see he
goes not good
it's amazing that those guys are still alive oh yeah especially Cheney and he's
got somebody else's
heart inside of him yeah yeah I mean and he had the person killed for that
heart that's what I used
to do I used to do a bit about it how he had an extra secret service agent that
was only eating
like vegetables real clean had a jog every day he's like what the why do I have
to do all this stuff
it's good no it'll be good everything will be revealed relax when dick has a
heart attack they
open that guy up like a fish and pull a still beating heart out yeah he he had
a pump inside
of his body at one point in time where he didn't have a heartbeat because he
had this crazy pump
that would just circle the blood but there was no don't don't don't don't so
someone checked his
heartbeat they would think he's dead wow there was no heartbeat wow so he could
fake dead he could
fake dead in a bad situation in a monster movie wow i had uh i had the opposite
problem i had
i was doing a show and they made you know years ago when you did a network show
they made you uh um
have a physical physical yeah right so i went in and the guy goes oh my god he
goes what he goes you
feel okay i feel great your heart is beating 283 beats a minute i go isn't that
like a a professional
he goes that's like a dead man you moron so he said uh this is horrible 283
beats a minute yeah yeah
like a pulp like a crazy beat like would go up and down yeah yeah yeah yeah
that's a lot oh they
stay rushed me to a hospital but before they did i said hey man i really need
this job he's you know
if i give you some money he goes are you trying to bribe me i go yeah he goes
you're gonna be dead
and i go if i don't have this job i don't want to live i i need the job you
know yeah so they
rush me in and then they uh a trivia fibrillation and then it was both sides
and i hold the record
for being jump-started you know when they defibrillation yeah the mass general
oh yeah it's like a phone
book how many times they do you over a hundred they restarted you a hundred
times yeah yeah whoa can
you see the future are you there is no future oh jesus well they finally they
finally did the
ablation where they go in and they burn the part that's flapping and they found
out the other side
was flapping too so they it was like eight hours on the table i had this great
doctor my friend uh
ever you know everlast from the house of pain yeah yeah yeah he's got a fake
one so he takes the
microphone and puts it up to his chest this goes click click click click click
click click click click
click click click he's got like a fake valve in there wow a titanium valve it's
really creepy wow he puts the
microphone you can hear it you can hear it through the mic oh my god it was
crazy but i didn't know i
was it was asymptomatic you know and i said to the doctor i said well what do
you think he's well you
know your weight probably has something to do i said well i did a lot of blow
he goes you'd have to do
incredible amounts of blow i said well there's a small mountain in peru missing
and uh he goes
that much that much yeah well that whole crew i mean sweeney and i talked about
it when uh he did
the show that whole crew that nick comedy stop crew was a cocaine fucking extravaganza
oh yeah i was
very fortunate that i did that didn't still haven't never did coke oh don't don't
i won't i went to
columbia to see where it was made i really did really yeah yeah i was going on
because you were
a connoisseur oh my god like doing a wine tour two days to score because i said
no yeah they said
we sent it all to america mr lenny i go there's got to be a new shipment and
then i got an ounce of blow
for two hundred dollars you know i had a lot you know i couldn't even finish it
in a week you know but
i've tried how much is an ounce of blow what does it look like this you know
the scar face thing you
know it's bigger than that that's like 28 grams yeah oh yeah an ounce of yeah
like an but an ounce
of pot is like yeah like yeah like that much is that the same thing with coke
that seemed bigger to
me i had it everywhere yeah i remember the girl said lenny you have to decide
whether it's the coke or
me i said you want a line for the road yeah i know what happened to her but it
was it was it was
amazing i really enjoyed colombia but uh did you go there just for coke yeah
yeah no yeah no no i went
back recently a couple years ago i went to do uh uh a burn notice they were
filming a movie okay and uh
they asked me to come down and i went down there and i went i remember some of
this you know but i
well i wasn't you know doing it now but it's all spanish no one i had no one
around when did you stop doing it
it 22 years ago wow 23 i mean yeah wow yeah that's a good amount of time well i
had to you know i was
doing this movie and uh i finished the guy i had to throw this guy through a
wall and i really liked
the guy you know and and i didn't want to hurt him and he said no no you gotta
so i put him through the
wall and took a door off the hinges and they said lenny we don't own that door
this is whitey bulge's
place i go hey man i'm done after today you know someone's gonna pay whitey so
the guy i got i
finished and i bought a bag of blow and whiskey and a bag of dope and some
beers and guys you're happy
i said yeah you want to get real happy i said you don't scare me so we'll pick
you up at 6 a.m
so i went back to the hotel and met my buddy my childhood buddy we went out he
said let's see how
many bars we can go to before they charge us for booze you know hey yeah yeah
so so we ended up
at the tall ships down at uh the faneuil hall and the guy didn't know me so we
paid we said we'll
stay here then he realized who i was then we drank free went back and we're
doing blow and the door
bags open we go freaks out he said what he said the guys come on we're going we're
going to like a
rave and he took me to an aa meeting in south boston and uh it just it clicked
you know i thought it
was a gag i said i had to blow with me and it's come on one's in the line just
listen listen this is
after a bender after what during a bender i just had to blow on me and i i
thought it was a rave i
thought we're going you know with that who took you my phil baroneau he was my
he's still my sponsor
today you know wow and he's a young kid and you know i said you know how did
you get i said did
you have a problem he says i used to go into banks with a shotgun everyone on
the floor i go yeah you
can be my sponsor yeah wow the best thing joe we got sober together yeah the
same day oh wow yeah
wow 23 years yeah yeah it's that was a the thing about that whole boston cruise
that it was all kind
of tied to drugs oh and the comedy had that feel to it because the comedy was
frantic you know and
there was a thing yeah bang bang bang there was a thing about the guys who came
out of boston like
still to this day they had like the fastest pace the most punchlines and the
audiences there were used
to that so they didn't want any and they would tell you yeah they would if you
weren't good you suck
tonight get off and we would have there was there were times when i'd say this
is going to be new
material money anyone who doesn't do new material the minute you do anything
you've done before get
off the stage so rogers would be sitting at the back and some you've done that
throw a shot glass with
shatter on the wall next it was just and it made you come and the people like
you said the audiences
that came in there would come every week yeah so you'd have to and 