Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1279 - Jessimae Peluso
Uploaded: 2019-04-08T19:48:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1279 - Jessimae Peluso' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1279 - Jessimae Peluso' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-04-08. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1279 - Jessimae Peluso

last chance for romance here otherwise we're just gonna film and then put it up
is it live really i centered my chi i centered you made it happen we've been
having problems
with our try caster who doesn't want to try it's like not today every third
show it don't
i'm tired it won't go live i centered the chi though i sent the energy dude you
made it happen
this is a rare wake and bake day i don't do this you don't no no i get done
first usually can you not
get shit done when you wake and bake i kind of off things if i get if i get
high at nine o'clock
in the morning like ah what's what's important really i i get stuff done really
yeah i have
like you know i'll do like my cup of coffee and a joint and i'll get some stuff
done i joke that it's
like it makes me super motivated to do not a goddamn thing but i get stuff done
i mean
all the stuff i get done is i like vacuum seven times i clean my apartment like
four times the
other day that's a meth thing you sure someone's not slipping come on let's not
put all the rumors
out there now but you got any bro eddie bravo used to say that about girls like
he would if he was
dating because eddie used to work at a strip club and he dated a lot of the gals
that were performers
there and he said you really know when a girl's a meth head because you go over
her house it's always
clean she's always clean and they can never clean enough maybe i'm a method or
just a virgo apparently it's
speed freaks not method i'm sorry speed freaks when people are on speed maybe
coffee is the thing
that does that to me and then i just get focused from the weed there's not one
ounce of dog hair
in my house really keep that fresh that's crazy you have like 50 dogs you're a
crazy dog lady
i do i have three dogs wait don't you have like a pack of chicken in your
backyard dude i used to
coyotes got them all i thought you were up with the bow and arrow no we had an
issue
where our chicken coop burnt to the ground oh during those fires you lost your
ladies no we didn't they
they managed to fly out and they were in the yard we lost two of them because
they wouldn't
we couldn't round them up to get them into the chicken pen and because we got a
new chicken pen
but it wasn't as big and then they were too good for it coyotes ate those two
and then they realized
that they're all in this one pen and one day when we were gone they opened it
up and got in them
killed all nine of them how they how they open them up pulled it apart with
their teeth yo dogs are
listen even domestic ones domestic dogs but they're smart the difference
between a coyote and
a domestic dog is like the difference between a hardened criminal on death row
yeah and a baby
no you're 100 right it's the experience and what you had to do to survive all
they have done is
survive and murder they don't have a house no one's feeding them food i mean
they're little wolves yeah
and and it's like literally dog eat dog world out there yeah what was the
gentleman dan um coyote america
the the author god damn it was he like a dude who lived amongst the wolves yes
dan flores no he's a
wildlife biologist and a historian yeah he was talking about the history of uh
coyotes and wolves
in north america apparently all wild dog species came from north america even
like jackals yeah and
like that like they made it across over there somehow like during the pangeus
period or what'd you call me
pangea do you know what that is it's an era no yeah it's well when they think
that all of the uh
continents were connected together oh yeah we were one we were one flat earth
then it was one flat table
i think it was flat no no it's obviously not a giant chunk and then the rest
was water and then it
spread out which is weird that is what is happening how did that and like also
is that happening on our
insides on like a it's obviously on a cellular level everything's just
splitting and being torn the
fuck apart there it is here's the the modern pangea map this is modern well i
think with the modern uh
country separations and all that because oh this is what it looked like if you
brought i thought this
is there's more i was gonna say is that south america what is that i thought
there was some knuckleheads
that thought that is that really all the continents together whoa it shows you
how much goddamn water
there is so much water that's a mind fuck yeah because you really like to think
that we're all
dirt and not as much water it's so much water it's all water it's like a little
speck in a huge
ass ocean that's what's really crazy is those ground dwelling motherfuckers
have figured out how to
suck all the fish out of that water i know it's crazy that just to be able to
get those suckers out
sometimes with your bare hands and then they're like yo we need something we
need a smaller situation
i think until they they came up with nets and stuff like that i don't think
they were real effective
i think they just got what they got and they ate that but the populations were
fine yeah but in the
last whatever 150 years they've been using nets they just jacked that whole
ocean what do you think
happened to the dude who figured out like the hook he probably got all the in
town
the dude who like hooked the fish he was getting all those fishies he was
getting the ones that were way deep
the what the kind of that you would get back when you invented a hook you don't
want it but but now
in your modern mind you don't but back then you're like yo this is fresh fresh
it only smells like
must did you become african-american something's happening to you
waking bacon taking you to another another it takes you to another level for
sure yeah i get back to my
roots let's guess how long ago do you think they invented the fishhook did they
even know i'm going
to say it's a really old invention super old it's like arrowhead time yeah
exactly to like native native
before pre-native americans those would just break if you think about a big
fish hooking like a little
thin what would they make it out of bone probably must be bone maybe but you
think stone would be too
heavy yeah it was sinking well it would also break yeah i wouldn't be able to
hook it well yeah it
must have been bone i bet it was bone yeah yeah but bones get brittle
especially after like you know
they're off the body and they start to calcify and all that look but how old do
you think it is it's got
to be really old juniper wood it says juniper wood was the first one 22 23 000
years ago jesus christ
there it is norwegians yeah they were made from sea snail shells oh that's
pretty crazy there's a
bunch of information i'll put together in okinawa island dated between 22 380
and 22 770. isn't that
crazy that they get it that close they're basically in an inner you know good
overtake 80 90 years 100
years i know how can they even it's like the is it carbon dating i mean that's
the only thing i
remember from high school how do you even how do you date it back do they find
is it like a forensic
thing where they grab a fly and they're like yeah this was six years ago
because of the juices on the
wings i think it's there's like a bunch of factors like one of them is the dirt
that's around where they
find it like if they find it on the ground then it's covered with dirt over
hundreds and hundreds of
years they could take some of that dirt and test it yeah they can see what's in
it they're trying to
test i think whoa that's crazy i want those as earrings is that a fish hook
yeah i clicked the that's
how the shells yo those are fresh those are really nice i would rock those
would you yeah the comedy
store oldest fish hook found in okinawa wow 23 000 years ago that's crazy and
so they're saying that
the oldest fish hook is linked to the norwegians i would say japanese this is
okinawa yeah norwegian
thing was saying that and up until the 1950s there were they were still using
wood and oh i think
it was just like a added fact yeah japanese makes sense i wonder if they all
figured it out at the
same time different spots in the world you know i wonder if it's one of those
things like you know
like they there's just some weird thing who's that is that rupert sheldrake it's
the morphic
residence theory he's got this weird theory that i think the idea is that if
some a rat learns a maze
on the east coast rats on the west coast will learn that maze quicker what how
like a like a
they don't know collective consciousness amongst the rats as weird as it sounds
there might be some
sort of strange connection that all rats share and not just all rats but all
living beings his argument
was that if this is demonstrable with a rat in a maze that if they did
something like uh with human
beings if they could figure out a way to uh to prove this that's likely what's
happening is that like
he was he brought up a bunch of different factors like inventions that are
simultaneously taking place
like all over the world like one that's strange yeah you should attribute some
of that to education
right like yeah definitely education what's going on like the the the trends
that are happening in
education but like but they also think there might be something else going on
underneath the surface
like on a different realm like if you learn if we're all a species and you're
on one side of the
world you learn something the people on the other side of the world have like
greater access to it
in some weird way that's really bizarre yeah i don't that freaks me out that's
like matrixy
right there but it's also unprovable and you bring it up to real scientists
they get upset with you
but what's interesting though is the map the map thing the maze thing with mice
and rats
the because i think that's see if that's been proven i'm pretty sure that if
you show a maze to a rat on
one side of the country they learn it quicker on the other side how i don't
understand how that can
even be a thing well there's another one that's really interesting but i don't
know how much of
this is just because they didn't observe it before but they've noticed that apes
are starting to um use
tools like cell phones to text each other no not that yet well weren't monkeys
using tools
no but apparently they use tools like to get um like they'll stick sticks into
uh ant hills to get
ants but they also use rocks to break things open weren't monkeys doing that
before i would imagine apes
would follow suit i think they've that what they're saying is they're saying
officially that they've
entered into the stone age oh boy so like if we are watching if you saw a human
evolve from being a
person that you know what we whatever the we used to look like when they first
figured out fishhooks
grunting to today you know there's many many generations of change and all all
sorts of different
shit that we learned that we are watching literally the birth of that
separation between like the regular
chimps that are just chilling in the forest to the chimps that are starting to
figure out tools and
weapons right like the first day we see a chimp make a fucking spear like a
spear sharpen it up and
stab another chimp to death planet of the apes so you're saying chimps are
becoming woke is that what's
happening like they're becoming enlightened and smarter i don't think just chimps
there was one with an
orangutan it was amazing i mean orangutan was spearfishing oh no oh dude you
got to see it that's
a nightmare i mean it's really crazy but like it's a beautiful photo they're
just gonna be walking
down the highway with like a briefcase soon i don't think it's gonna be there
that's freaky man
that freaks me out but it is uh so we're witnessing evolution they're learning
things and this one i think
their issue was that this uh orangutan had watched fishermen do this so he had
apparently watched some
fishermen like stand on a ledge and stab fish so he decided to try to figure it
out himself that makes
sense i mean that's how all creatures essentially i mean puppies kittens they
all learn it's just it's