Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1288 - Jon Reep
Uploaded: 2019-05-02T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1288 - Jon Reep' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1288 - Jon Reep' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-02. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1288 - Jon Reep

so bad
and we're live um do you drink do you want a zero alcohol mannequin sure if you
haven't one yeah
there you go fella zero alcohol let's get crazy they're actually let's pace
ourselves cheers
i'm gonna chug this whoa don't do that dude what are you dangerous zero alcohol
how many calories
though we scared calories bro that's how you stay alive that's gonna get your
energy i mean i got
plenty of calories already i have to ask you did you drive in the hemi no i
didn't i got dropped
off in a chevy oh my god this is outrageous i had one for a little while just a
little while yeah
i figured like you would have to have one for quite a long time it was fun well
okay i'm gonna backtrack
a little bit so first commercial right that thing got a hemi right i did six of
these things yeah and
around commercial three i uh i was talking to my agent i said man you know if
they ask to do
another one oh here we go yeah oh my god that's the worst i've ever looked in
my life i really felt
like i was sitting in the desert like no one's ever going to see these
commercials no one's going to know
what a hammy is incorrect and i couldn't have been i could not have been more
wrong yeah yeah there it
is look at that badass did they give you one or did you just go out and buy one
well i said listen if
they if they want me to do another commercial see if you can get a vehicle out
of them right and my
agent was like you know make it their problem he calls them up he goes hey i
don't know if you know
this but your hemi guy your spokesman is driving around los angeles right now
in a suzuki sidekick
oh and they're like what we can't have that's what i had isn't that the fucking
it's a box kite
is that the same thing it's the lightest it's a box kite if you could put a
string to it and float it in
the air was that that shitty looking jeep thing yes oh wow you have one of
those i did yeah red
wow i don't know why for some reason i like that thing i got it in college and
that's why you like
it yeah nostalgia it was cool for uh tailgating and there it is yeah that's the
ll cool j version
i didn't have that one what's the ll cool j i don't know i think i saw that in
a video one
time because it's a that's the one i had right there you had that hard top damn
yeah i totaled
that thing in north dakota one time hit black ice i mean a gust of wind just
knocked me off the road
and i was in a ditch but it was uh you know how people in motorcycles they'll
see another motorcycle
and they'll wave and then it's like a little club that you're in and jeeps do
it too and i started
doing that to other suzuki sidekicks and out of whatever reason i'd wave to him
nine times out of
ten it's like an overweight black lady and then i just wave it at him like what
is he doing i was like
we're in the club man so but yeah uh people love to do that with nice cars yeah
but to do that with
shitty cars too yeah that's what that's next level that's more fun yeah yeah
like i see you so what
did they give you when they gave you a hemi uh it was a uh a 1500 dodge ram
quad cab black a lot of
chrome i feel comfortable on that thing i loved it i love when i first got it
you know it's like it was
like in the middle of you know i did six of those commercials so i was right
around la with the windows
down just blasting you know leonard skyndard and yeah that's perfect the comedy
store and like park
it i mean they hated parking that thing in that in that lot because it's
gigantic yeah it's a wide
and they're like really man can't you just have somebody drop you off yeah brendan
schaub's been
showing up in his uh he got a raptor oh yeah realize how wide those things are
until you're standing in
front of them like they're huge it's a giant vehicle and then trying to valet
that thing anywhere in los
angeles you know it's a lot of tiny little mexican dudes are like really man
well the worst is if you
try to valet a stick shift i tried to give a valet my keys to my bronco and he
didn't know what to do
i go you don't know how to drive a stick shift he goes no i go what the are you
doing
here man how can you have this job yeah yeah that should be a part of the uh
resume i can't drive all
cars it's crazy yeah i mean i think most people know how to you know anyone
under 30 can drive a
stick i don't think so no i think it's going gone yeah porsche doesn't make
them anymore the only
american muscle cars are one of the last holdouts like corvette and camaro i
haven't driven a stick
in a long time mustangs you have no you want to try sure today actually the
last time i did i was in
costa rica oh and i rented i rented a car and i'm like i just assume all cars
now when you rent them
are automatics you know you get another country it's it's whatever and so i'm
pulling out of the uh
the lot and it's like oh it's been a minute it's pretty embarrassing
i got this yeah when you're in italy they all drive stick shifts even like minivans
yeah it's weird
yeah everything's a stick shift over there i'm not sure why i don't know what's
the advantages and
disadvantages i mean what do you prefer well if i was in where i was in italy
it was in ravello which is
uh very small little roads it's very tiny and it's like crazy congestion
because of tourism yeah and uh
the guy was always on the clutch back and forth back and forth i was like you
know this has got to be
annoying as you want an automatic and that's like la right if you're in if you're
commuting to la bumper to
bumper every day you're going to want an automatic exactly that's what happened
right yeah i think
you're right yeah yeah it's just more comfortable let the car do the work but
if you're on a mountain
road like the angel's crest highway and you want to shift there's something
cool about being in command
of the vehicle and you telling it when it's you know it's manly yeah it is you
got a dick in your hand
yeah and if it's a woman you gotta go oh don't get too close to this one yeah
she's driving stick
shifts like oh she's a rebel she might be a problem right she might be right in
bed though maybe yeah
for a little while and then just and then she gets mad at you for an email from
12 years ago
i didn't even know you then yeah what the yeah i can't go back how'd you find
this right where's
that phone come from that's my flip phone where was that my suzuki sidekick we
were looking at that
thing from ces that jamie pulled up what is that goofy thing called uh these
are good right i only i
don't feel like i'm drinking a non-alcoholic it tastes like a regular beer um
planet computers cosmo
communicator look at the outside of that thing that is that is wasted
development like someone
was doing coke and they decided does that have a spaceship it does oh my god it
looks like it
like it either has a planet or a spaceship on the front of it look at that it
looks like one of those
metal wallets that you get to keep your credit cards yeah but that's preposterous
for sure but
you're not using your fingers you could see the only but would you who makes
that fat hands are not
not going to fit on that thing yeah you're not going to be able to do that like
i mean at this
point we're so used to doing this why go back and and go back to that now do
you ever go sideways
on your iphone uh yeah just to take a picture yeah but never typing no way i
thought that was the
move i'm like oh once we go sideways that's gonna be the shit have you tried on
an ipad uh i have not
it's not bad yeah sideways on the ipad yeah like when you have to type on the
full screen with the
full yeah with both hands it's not bad yeah it's not perfect but it's way
better than just your
thumbs on iphone yeah that makes sense especially if you can type i used to
think i would never get
used to that just that you know the the the screen without feeling it look at
that little front
screen like you got a bunch of that comes in on it look at that oh like apps
and stuff i guess
boy that's gonna no one's buying that son how much is that for you never know
well here's the thing
there are so many options now if you don't like apple and you're committed to
like an android phone
there's so many options yeah why would you buy that thing well i don't even
know what company is
that exactly that's also part of the problem right yeah that would be gone like
where do you bring
that thing to get it fixed yeah if the screen cracks and you bring it to the
mall what is it
yeah cosmo communicator bro we're gonna have to go to the future and fix this
thing yeah we can't
do this in 10 minutes this thing's a mess i mean i got a cracked screen now and
you know it's not even
that bad but i've seen people walk around with like a damn spiderweb on their
phone i'm like ridiculous
how when are you gonna go get it fixed what's the point where glass is falling
off this is an
indication of you need to get your together yeah you know that's true yeah if
your phone looks like a
like a haunted house yeah that's a good one yeah let's go into like uh you know
see if this girl's gonna be
crazy right how cracked is her screen that's a good point give me your phone
like a girl who can
deal with a little crack that's probably yeah that's okay she's cool just a
little crack in the
window in a corner no big deal that's fine she doesn't give a fuck she's easy
going yeah she
doesn't even need to wear makeup bro you know but if she has to do like this
and and get the
light just right because it's like a damn it's a full-on spiderweb to make a t
because that part of the glass won't work yeah what about the other way they're
going with the flex
phone because oh no this is the one that broke but this is another one that
came out at ces too
that they recalled samsung recalled the ones they're supposed to they recalled
all of them huh yeah
they'd unreleased date now they're not gonna who knows when they're gonna come
out they're breaking
like crazy apparently yeah flex phone but then is it flexible it bends yeah
well how does that one
work all i'm seeing is like yeah it's not a video of that yeah but uh the samsung
one had like a
little teeny uh i don't know like a line in the center it looks like a little
flat aquarium that
we put sea monkeys in it does right it looks like one of them ones it's like a
pillar and a shitty hotel
like in miami or something by phone for hours yeah someone needs to clean the
tank
they have a huawei has a flex phone it looks way better than the samsung one it
looks thinner and
it looks like they just nailed the design better and on the side of it that's
it yeah it's a different
company i don't know it's a different company no no no no i'm sorry royale flex
pie beat samsung and
huawei to market probably sells out that's what this one was is it folding fold
in half yeah yeah they're
they're making these things where you can flex them and bend them like a
thousand times oh my god
oh how weird yeah that's weird how am i supposed to look how fat that thing is
that's like carrying
a vhs tape in your pocket right i mean i'm trying to imagine the advantages and
disadvantages of watching
porn on that thing oh there's advantages yeah because like well i see your ass
and then you got to turn
your phone upside down to see the rest of them that's pretty wild though how it
works that is neat
yeah i'm kind of hoping it works so that the version three or four in a couple
years is way
better than these broken ones yeah well for sure you're going to see people at
concerts holding
up what looks like 12-inch ipads because it's going to be these goddamn things
in the future
i've seen that before now yeah oh yeah people bring ipads to disneyland why
would you do that
because they're assholes yeah they're everywhere i mean you're right yeah i
hate it especially like
a comedy show it's like the phone's bad enough yeah ipad i have a tesla and uh
the tesla has
this huge screen right it's enormous yeah yeah and you get so used to it yeah
so i go from that to
another car with a little tiny navigation screen li