Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1298 - Neal Brennan
Uploaded: 2019-05-16T04:26:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1298 - Neal Brennan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1298 - Neal Brennan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1298 - Neal Brennan

let me sign my waiver sign the waiver before i we're live great while you send
that sound great
i'm glad that people are seeing me neil brennan has witnessed everyone will be
a notary notary
public i wonder if they can there's a software that can listen to the sound
your pen is making
and figure out the lines you're drawing you know they have um technology now
where when people are
speaking in a room with a with a window they can get rid of the window noise
they can no they can tune
into the vibrations of the window from the sound of your voice and pick up
everything that's being
said in the room i heard that there's a netflix you because before i mean netflix
doesn't give
people ratings but there's a way that there you can get they can gauge
reflections off of
some weird fucking technology where and it's fairly accurate reflections off of
windows yes i don't
someone this is secondhand yeah like second hand not it's like i believe it's
sound waves um oh wow
yeah what are they monitoring jamie's got something i have no idea we can buy
this right now if you want
long range laser listening device the long range laser listening device laser
microscope is a highly
sophisticated surveillance apparatus that utilizes an invisible infrared laser
beam to eavesdrop on a
target oh this is the most effective long-range laser listening device in the
world that allows the
operator to conduct an undetectable surveillance operation on any target from tony
stark industries
with at least one window at an impressive distance of over 500 meters that is
actually very impressive that's far
that's far as shit with the laser beam fuck and you can just buy that let's say
that's commercially available
and i wonder what is not commercially available oh for sure right out there
like you remember when there was
that story about uh some weird sound weapon they think that the cubans are
using on yeah americans that were
in cuba there's probably a bunch of shit like that i was reading an article
they can list uh like submarines have
technology they can listen to basically like fish farting in the ocean if they
if they wanted to they
can hear sounds that quiet they can hear anything so if like literally a fish farts
they're like oh what
was that what was that was that a sub nope it was a fish next wow what was the
next sound yeah good for
us or something i guess good for somebody good for us i guess uh yeah the sound
thing was funny because it
was like people would get sick yeah and they could and then there was also they
did it in china too
they were like they at uh american civil like ng like non-government or like
kind of work for the
government tangentially or they worked at the embassy their apartments were
above each other two separate
people and both of them it was on 60 minutes like not long ago like so they
targeted the rooms yeah
it's like a dog whistle for people it yes in essence and it's like well what do
you want me to do
i guess you just leave i guess it is like a dog whistle yeah they just want you
to feel like
disperse get the out of here yeah there's probably a ton of technology like
that that we're not aware
of my friend mike swick used to fight in the ufc and before that he did a brief
brief spin uh stint
rather um in the military he was doing something some sort of uh it was either
secret service work or
something along those lines but anyway he was at the embassy in russia and he
said that they had found
listening devices that were so sophisticated that they were being powered by
the natural sway of
the building wow with the wind so the wind they didn't need a power source the
natural swaying
of the building in the wind was powering up this little microphone that was
listening in on things
and he said they were they were looking at this stuff they're like we don't
know anything like this like
this is completely new stuff and we found it in this building i like i mean i
don't love but it's like
it's kind of cool it's cool yeah like i just don't kill me or us you know what
i mean like yeah the hope
is we just both would they have their thing and we have and it's just like
mutually assured destruction
like an arms race of technology because that's what's going to happen the
amount do you use the
cloud yes i i know yeah like i don't use it for important stuff yeah but i use
it for like my apps
yeah my apps are backed up in the cloud recordings are backed up in the cloud
sets sets of them yeah but
there's like photos or video it's just a bit like i don't know man the kid's
crazy i mean we're we're
we're getting down to some very strange place with the cloud with stuff being
just in the air and the
amount of trust it takes uh the presumption that we'll just never run out of
energy and we'll never
run out of the ability to tap into the cloud it's like i don't that seems
presumption i i'm not even
like a doomsday person but i just feel like it's like the difference between
how men dress in public
and how women like on a night out women are wearing heels and guys are dressed
in case they have to
fight i'm still like we will do the thing in the mirror like i'll fucking i'll
fuck you up and like
that's how i feel with technology where i'm like what do i have a backup plan
for this even people with
like wi-fi door locks i'm like i don't know man i don't know man i don't know
good if the wi-fi goes
out what are you yeah like please be care i don't i don't know what the what
the negative scenario is
but even my garage in my place and i live in like a townhouse thing and there
was a power outage the
gate won't open and like okay there's no release there was a fail there was a
release uh that
somebody a better person than i figured out you know what i mean like i was
just like like i can't
come like a little uber i didn't have a plan but someone figured out like you
open a hatch and then
there's a chain and you got to pull the chain and it was like okay but it wasn't
uh it wasn't easy
right like you know it's the doomsday thing it's like well um this guy graham
hancock yeah this guy's
been on my show several times he's just done recently and he's one of the main
proponents of this theory
that something somewhere around 12 800 years ago hit the earth and up
everything and
probably reset civilization killed off the vast majority of us 12 000 years ago
not not that long
ago at all it corresponds with the end of the ice age there's a lot of physical
evidence for it
and increasingly we're seeing more and more evidence in terms of um ancient
cultures that existed far
before uh 12 800 years ago they really didn't understand that they thought
people were just hunter
gatherers back then now they're finding evidence of things like there's a place
called gobekli tepe which
is a giant these huge monolithic structures that are made out of stone carved
like huge columns yeah
that don't seem like they were made by hunter gatherers it seems like there was
probably some
sort of a lost civilization and they know that this all happened somewhere
around that time somewhere
around 12 000 years ago so um it can happen again and if it does happen again
all our stuff is on
digital now which is even weirder it's it's weirder than books right we have
books but the vast majority of
most of the data that we all keep and share we share on phones and on computers
yeah and we can't read
it we can't read it without programs i don't know the first thing about do you
know what i mean like i
don't know anything about i was i was talking last night like i don't know much
about my the different
the the level of education women have about their reproductive organs versus
men oh yeah like my
my balls i know about my balls i know that the medical term is testicles
that's about it don't get them hot if you get them hot yeah again that's like
that's like a child
yeah you know what i mean like it's not a bit and you only know that from like
oh because i got them
hot one time right but i don't know how semen gets to the i don't know the name
of the two i don't know
right anything and that's my body right women know tons they know fallopian
tubes the vulva cervix like
everything um yeah guys know prostate cancer what my my asshole oh yeah cancer
and not curious i mean
like not like curious in a way of like ah let's just hope just hope for those
it's none of my business
plus to get checked out you have to have a finger in your ass and everybody
puts that off
yeah now meanwhile women do that once a year constantly they're always getting
jabbed at and
swabbed swabbed yeah they get the pap smear a smear smears in the title yeah oh
jesus just every imagine
if you needed people to come inside you you needed them to not just not just
exchange bodily fluids by
kissing no they have to squirt something in you to make people yeah it's an odd
their poisonous little dirty dna
their dirty little infected it's awfully gross
if you get like 10 feet away from it you're like jesus i don't know what they're
doing but
why you're in the moment it seems like it's the most logical you gotta do it
can't not do it
yeah did you uh speaking of that uh did you see the thing about gerard no i don't
if you want to bring
it up but he basically came out a little on hbo came out came out a little to
his mom said i've had
uh sexual experiences with men uh oh um and uh it's uh it's just like all right
was she cool with it
yeah she was cool with it yeah that's the thing when i people are like what do
you think i'm like
i don't that sexual preference at this point to me is about as interesting as
like
your workout region like i just don't care like what are you doing there you go
cool you know what
i care about are you funny are you funny and are you cool yeah and and like do
we have to talk
about right great yeah i don't i couldn't care less who's what type of hand you
like jerking you
you know what i mean like i think what kind of mouth with some guys like tim dylan
i think it's
an advantage with his act that he's gay yeah he's so ridiculous and over the
top and he's just like
big fat gay guy yeah but he doesn't really talk does he talk about it he'll
talk about it sometimes
yeah but i mean you know it's not a big deal to him he treats it the way a guy
treats his sexuality
like you don't have to go blaring through his treats that you're straight all
the time right you
are i usually assume you're really not right like there's no yeah there's
straight you're straight
yeah if you're not no one cares in the comedy community literally no one cares
yeah it doesn't
it makes no difference the only thing that bums me out is when guys hide it it's
like come on
does it bum you out for them are you for them yeah it really bumps but having
said that i get it i get
it like i it's a real bummer it's sad we know a few guys that are in the closet
it's you just feel bad
for them like exactly like yeah man i hope it's not unbearable right you know
what i mean like like
i i get while you're why you're in the closet i get why actors are in the
closet like especially male
actors like because it doesn't serve them to come out it's not gonna it's not
gonna help them i think
it's the worst thing for them in terms of like getting roles as a heterosexual
if you're a known
homosexual you almost can't get roles as a heterosexual yeah like i remember
there was some
who is uh what is that guy's name neil patrick harris he was in something where
he played like
this arrogant guy who likes girls he was in uh no well no and no it was on to
uh how i met your
mother yeah and that worked he also played a straight guy in uh gone girl
pretty well
yeah was that before or it was after they both been after really and i was all
because i said i was
surprised that that's what he played but like certain people they just i don't
know he might be the only
guy that i agree that like he came out and it's not and he's he you buy it
somehow as a romantic lead
you think that it's like it cancels that out like if tom cruise deci