Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1304 - Brendan Schaub
Uploaded: 2019-05-24T01:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1304 - Brendan Schaub' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1304 - Brendan Schaub' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-05-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1304 - Brendan Schaub

australia 2 salute my brother salute brother yeah what's it feel like having a
showtime special
i don't know i feel the same a little more stressed out a little stressed out
yeah stay
away from them comments on here's the whole deal with all that stuff man you
put it out you watch
it you hate it you get better forces you force you to work i hate everything i
do so there's no
there's no getting around it you're gonna hate it you hate hearing yourself the
editing is painful
man the worst but you'll get better you just take the some of the criticism to
heart understand what
people are saying for sure just uh keep on keep it on my brother i'm happy
about it i just i i don't
i think i'm stressed out this week because last week i was doing publicity for
like new york like
hustling doing all that yeah i saw you did breakfast club charlamagne you and
charlamagne need to get
together okay you guys would be great man i was listening to his um his audio
book it's very
interesting he's had he's said some real bouts with anxiety yeah weird weird
anxiety yeah weird
anxiety right ones i think yeah yeah yeah i think it comes from talking i think
when you talk a lot
of you worry about coming back at you and you're like jesus what did i say at
least that's how it is
for me it depends if if it's like legit like when me and dana were going at it
oh yeah i was stressed
yeah because i just don't want that because because it brings out like the
course the evilness in
people you know everyone's like oh i hope he tears him up oh i hope he responds
yeah and then you're
like oh i don't i don't really want this did you see gaffigan and neil brennan
no dude no way gaffigan
lit neil brennan on fire and on his embers no for what neil started it why neil
started it i'm gonna
i'm gonna send it to jamie i'm gonna send it to jamie i'm so in my sober october
text message group and
listen i love neil oh no but when someone gets roasted someone gets roasted and
it's even better
because he started it he started it for no reason oh no yeah yeah yeah yeah he
tried to be snarky
here jamie i'm sending this to you right now jim gaffigan is a mama monster
fantastic in
transylvania 3. was he oh amazing oh i saw that man which one was he he was van
helsing was he really
oh my god he's amazing great i love those movies love they're fun i love when
my son gets into that
stuff the animation today is so incredible i find myself sitting there watching
the animation going
this is amazing the shading and the just the detail of it you can get into it
even if it's meant for
kids as a parent i'm good man do you watch the despicable me's oh yeah they're
great they're great
all three of them are great but i love part three with the 80s soundtrack it's
the guy the creator
from uh south park and isn't there another one with just the yellow dudes the
minions yeah it's good
too that's good too yeah i saw that one a little long towards the end it gets a
little weird when
they get to london but very good yeah they're good man yeah it's funny when you
so this is the text
brennan service so uh what happens is uh gaffigan puts up a thing saying hey
why are you looking at
your phone you could be watching my netflix special i made them all for you and
he says neil says which
one has the joke about food you say like a food and then you talk about it and
i'd be over here dying and then gaffigan
says neil it's the special where i have three microphones one microphone is for
jokes i pretend
i can't remember that i read off a card one mic is for emotional manipulation
of the audience and one
microphone is for mentioning the chapelle show and celebrity friends boom oh
that's like awkward
that's like one of those bombs that goes off in the distance you just hear boom
and we're just like this with we got a little frisky what happened we got a
little frisky
fire back yeah sometimes those guys fire back a little vulnerable spot right
there the liver was
exposed neil just bowed out thank you for your time thank you yeah you're
supposed to bow out there
you didn't do you up you're supposed to say ouch you got me or something just
joking man yeah um like
sometimes when king of the sting theo and i roast each other and he's so good
at it sometimes i was
like i'm gonna sit out man just go go ahead man i got nothing i've ran out of
material theo
go ahead some of the things he says are so theo like he theo is like there's a
few guys theo's one
of them sebastian's another one that have the like a style of comedy that you
will never be able to
explain to someone they got to go see him like you got to listen to him and it's
so strange where
most the king this thing podcast is mostly me saying something pretty average
and then theo just
saying the most outlandish thing and me laughing my ass off the funnest show
ever well you guys go
back and forth at each other it's very funny he's so funny man yeah he's a
unique dude very unique dude
as unique as they get yeah he's in australia right now he goes yeah he's in
australia
he's on the door right now and he goes yeah this is this morning he was yeah
man got a koala come
come to the hotel and i went oh man those things have uh chlamydia so make
sure you wash your hands and he goes i have some things too he better wash his
hands
oh my god that's funny but it's legit a koala's coming over to this hotel
that's so theo but that's so funny brody was that way too brody had that that
unique style too he's so
special man yeah so special he's very and you just know it yeah yeah yeah you
just know it man i people
are asking what it's like to work with theo all you guys and i said with theo
it's like he's the
lebron james economy so creative i'm just that shitty coach on the side trying
to manage
trying to manage this ball game not to it up man yeah he's but he's just i mean
there's
other guys that are funny but they're funny in like a regular way like oh he's
really good his
jokes are great oh he's got a great presence he's great on stage but theo's
like try to explain that
you can't explain that you gotta go it's a magical cluster of dark magic from
new orleans where he'll
say something i'm like there's certain guys i can watch and i'll go oh he he's
definitely his
iq might be higher than mine but i see how he got there with this premise of a
joke with theo i'm
like god i have no idea how he got there i've it's not happening you know who
gives me stress when
i look at his schedule russell peters yeah he's like he's all over the black
right now he goes to
africa for like six weeks like he's all you hear michael bisping almost got
robbed in africa
did he really yeah he's doing a movie the was he doing africa he's doing a
movie
and expendables 19. i don't know what it was he's doing a movie he got a little
liquored up
uh his cab dropped him off and said your uh your hotel's over there he get out
of the cab he's like
where the is my hotel the cab driver drives off he's like looking around for
the hotel is
and he said like 10 dudes just started rolling up on him saying i want your
wallet you know if you
want to live you'll give me your wallet yeah is this south africa or this is
this like francis and gano
i think he said frittoria fuck man yeah so he ran and then he got away
obviously yeah he got away
yeah but he's probably gonna get caught right yeah black guys he's a big fella
you know he's
and now he can fight a big fella he knows how to fight and they probably could
sense that a little
bit but if there's 10 of them they usually don't give a probably hammer too
there might have been
little dudes what if it was 10 francis and gano oh then you're giving your
wallet and just the
homies bro what if there's one francis and gano what the fuck you gonna do
nothing what the
fuck you're gonna do yeah i think um i love bisping eddie hizzard was telling
me that when he was
running he ran like 27 marathons in south africa and when he went through
certain sections of south
africa they go stop you are not running through this area we're going to put
you in a car we're
going to drive you to where it's safe and then you're going to continue your
run because but you
will get robbed like it's like there's areas where you just will get robbed i
have no interest in
going to africa everyone's like oh it's beautiful very cool i want to go you
really yeah i want to go i want to
see what those animals look like in the wild i would love to see you know
before we africa up
you got 12 years they say before everything's gone before the way humans are up
the world
there's no going back if we don't make a change now now that's from that sounds
like a jackson song
that's from the ending of little dicky's new video of saving the world but it
does say it's like earth
dot org it's like that's a quote from them i don't think they know you see the
reality is they know
there's a real problem with carbon in the environment they know that human
beings have
put carbon in the environment in unprecedented levels and they know that the
earth is heating up
rapidly but they don't know like what exactly is going to happen there's some
models they predict
none of them look good they don't really know but no one really knows right
like some people are like
oh global warming's not real obviously our president doesn't think it is so it's
real but if you go back
to like the 1990s they were predicting was going to happen that never happened
same thing with the 2000s
but here we are in 2019 you know we should listen to them because we're
definitely up definitely
fucking up the more you see the whales and stuff with like trash on their
stomach and dying and birds
that's a giant problem there's also too many people yeah but what are you gonna
do well there's two
schools of thought on that even the schools of thought on people is what
happens is as the world
gets more and more um westernized as people start developing careers people
have less and less kids
and that if you look at japan and you look at some westernized nations they
actually have a shortage of
kids and they they think that and this is purely speculative right it's just
theoretical they think
that as the world becomes more and more industrialized and westernized and more
technology and more
advanced that people will start to have less kids that's a fair point but also
even americans they're
having kids later and i think less as well yeah that's america but also isn't
there parts of australia and
africa where no one's really there so if we had to we could colonize that and
like make it more livable
bro the only the parts of australia where no one lives no one wants to live you
don't want to live
in the middle where all the crocodiles are and but we could figure it out yeah
you could figure
it out a couple crocs snakes everywhere that'll kill you i mean there's a lot
of parts of australia
australia is huge it's as big as the united states so big and there's giant
parts africa too
giant parts where we could live if we had to but australia has less people than
la i know the
whole goddamn country you've been there right yeah a bunch i love it there love
it nice people i'm
sure you've done comedy yeah yeah a bunch of times the best yeah sydney melbourne
uh melbourne's great
i love sydney too though i have a great time you've been in new zealand yeah no
i've never been
in new zealand straight off of jurassic park what'd you do there comedy no
theater in new zealand
when did you do this i think like a year and a half two years ago i did a tour
of australia and
that's when you were just starting too that's crazy check this out no openers
came out pulled oh my
god why'd you do that i don't crazy no one hey man i wouldn't go to australia
and just go by yourself
man you didn't even ask nah i just went dude here i am showtime special it was
fun though good experiences
oh they're good people i like the people everybody i met from new zealand it's
like very similar to
australian people very down to earth super nice yeah it's a bea