Name: JRE MMA Show #69 with Yves Edwards
Uploaded: 2019-07-03T02:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #69 with Yves Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #69 with Yves Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-03. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #69 with Yves Edwards

do do eve edwards ladies and gentlemen hello sir hey good to see you brother
what's going on
um everything and nothing everything and nothing yeah you were telling me you're
this is a crazy
time for you you're you're a vagabond you're traveling around man like a gypsy
i i i like
the term nomad no bad's good yeah vagabond makes it sound like i'm pouring i
got a stick with my
clothes tied in a bag yeah nomad's like a gypsy with money yeah no but gypsy's
a is that a
derogatory term it didn't used to be i think it might be now they can say it
like king of the
gypsies is uh tyson fury he's allowed to say it he's allowed to say it might be
one of them things
yeah we got a word like that a lot of people do those words are expanding there's
more of those
words than before who can can see i'm gonna get in trouble right now can midgets
call themselves
i don't know man i don't know that's a good one that used to be a normal one
you know if you know
what's really crazy if you look at when kids had were born with down syndrome
the original term was
mongoloid idiot that used to be like they would put that on birth certificates
like are like when you say the original term are any of those people still
alive like is that still
on somebody who's alive birth certificate that's a good question do people with
down syndrome live
less they don't live as long right i think that's the case yeah yeah yeah you
don't see a lot of older
people yeah with down syndrome i don't know this like we're tightening up the
word i just can't wait
till we can read minds so there's all this nonsense just go out the window i
think once we can read
minds and then you just see intent and there's no like words like because right
now it's just words
words that convey intent and some of those words are forbidden but some of
those words have like
bitch perfect example like you could say that's a bad bitch yeah like this
bitch is crazy like or
this bitch is fine you know you could say this bitch is hot this bitch is cool
that bitch is so cool
or you could say oh my god this girl's a bitch you know yeah the connotation is
completely different
there's so many of them there's so many different ones words man words is a
hard thing i remember one
time mickey joe mickey joe shilling mickey call joe shilling and i were talking
about about words and
and perceptions and like like your shirt your shirt is green right but if i
were to be in your
consciousness well i see your shirt and what i see it is as red but i right i
know it is green
yeah you know what i mean do we see the same colors as the same thing no we don't
you have no way of
knowing right right i've no way of knowing what like some people are into weird
shit like yellow cars
right that's not weird though that's weird for all the colors to paint a car
like why the fuck do you
want a yellow car like a nice car like you see like a yellow corvette like what
the fuck are you doing
to that corvette i swear you were going to say something different i swear i
was like he's like
people listening to people in the weird shit i thought you were going to say
like scat or something
oh well they're definitely yellow cars that's not so bad yeah but i mean i don't
know what they're
seeing like to me a yellow car is like ah it's unfortunate you know like why
would you do that
color did like maybe it was on sale because it's a shitty color i think that so
yellow cars should cost
less yeah for sure yeah unless you just you have trying to make a point like
your car is like a
bumblebee or something you know like you got black stripes and yellow and see
that would be cool yeah
on a bug on a mustang i don't know what else i think those are the only two
cars that really should
be yellow a mustang like if you're gonna paint it like with um some flames on
it i don't even like
you don't like mustangs i'm not a big muscle car guy i do like sports cars i'm
not crazy about muscle
cars somebody needs to indoctrinate you into the world of muscle cars i thought
you just haven't seen the right
ones you know i think i think that comes from where i grew up because like you
need a lot of open road
for that and we don't have that in the bomb like especially not where i'm from
like like i i'm not
a big fan of um of like choppers i'm not i don't know those seem silly to me
you can't turn yeah i like
crotch rockets and dirt bikes this drives me crazy the eight handles and you're
holding if you don't know
for people just listening yeah they have handlebars that are above your head
yeah you're hanging
you're driving around like this and you if you have to turn quick you're like
how can you get
away from and once it goes bad like you're not gonna recover yeah i would think
they would have
like a secondary handlebar just so that you don't have to ride like that so you
get tired have some
right over the gas that folds out yeah like we can do that we can patent that
and make that and
probably make millions of dollars i feel like crotch rockets seem safer because
they're more
maneuverable yeah like you can handle those like those things move good
yeah especially i mean that's what they're designed for if you control it at
high speed
i saw this video of a of a motocross uh i don't know what you call when crotch
rockets are racing but
um these guys were racing this dude was like he was losing it and he got thrown
off i saw that but
he was on his knees sideways yes he hung on there man and he looks like he was
still giving it the gas
yeah yeah i don't know i don't know what the rules are or like cutting the
track right but like if if
if that if he wasn't disqualified that was a ninja move how do you get back on
though you have to slow
down you have to right yeah you gotta do a ninja move you gotta hit the brake
real hard so you slam
and then your body shoots at the air land back on the bike hit the brake and
pop your hips up yeah at
the same time break something you see i'm fast and furious i'm scared of bikes
i don't know how to ride
you don't know i mean i can ride a bicycle but i can't ride a motorcycle i can't
ride i've never
ridden a crotch rocket i've only ridden scooters you know they're making them
electric now you won't
even there's no gears it's just like a tesla but i don't like i don't know the
whole thing about
riding a bike is being able to control it isn't it well you can still control
the speed but you're not
going to be able to shift gears you don't have to do the with your left foot
where you're going with
the clutch and up and down all that jazz you have to learn how to do that you
don't have to do
that with one of those things it's just yeah that'd be ridiculously fast too i
feel like i would be
like the guy on and you know when like when you go to dave and bust or
something on the motorcycle
video game yeah yeah in the in europe they're making cars like electric cars
have noise you have to have
noise like a regular car so that people can hear you that's dumb yeah well yeah
i mean you're not
riding on the sidewalk right yeah well yeah i mean i guess it's if people are
crossing streets and
um maybe also i don't know what the rules in europe are for riding motorcycles
but um i don't know do
you hear guys when they're riding on in between lanes you know what i mean i
don't hear them all
the time there's a lot of times where you don't you have to look in la that's
such when i grew up in
boston and you couldn't do that that's not legal everybody has to stay in a
lane really yeah in texas it's
legal oh it's cut splitting lanes yes i wonder how often it's legal versus
illegal well there's a lot
of states that don't even you don't have to wear helmets yeah texas was one of
them i don't know
if that's changed i know louisiana is one that's crazy when i was in the last
time i was in miami
i was watching dudes fly by me on the highway with no helmet i don't know
though i mean do you do you
want a helmet on you hit something at 90 miles an hour i don't know um i mean
yes and no it's like i
think sometimes people make it you know yeah but like what about you get all
that pain what's this
jamie california remains the only state to allow lane splitting wow wow so i
guess it's no longer
i think you can just do it whenever you want it's on the motorcyclist to be
risk at your take your own
risk oh so cal in california it's legal yeah but in all the other places it's
just you just kind of do it
probably yeah i mean yeah it's weird so it's immediately crossing the state
line unless nobody
crosses it has texas gorgon and nevada here too i don't know maybe it's
partially legal there or
something certain cities areas yeah freeway maybe only or something like um
traffic laws it's weird
traffic laws being different like so different in in every state i was um in texas
a couple days ago and
i'm driving and i'm getting over because the cops pulled somebody over um on
the highway and
passenger she's like why are you getting over like you don't have to do that
but in texas you're
supposed to if you if you can get over you're supposed to get over and give
them that lane berth
otherwise you slow down to like 10 miles below the speed limit or whatever um
but like in dc
maryland where she's from it's like you don't have to do that like but it's
like if i'm from if i'm
from maryland i'm in texas and i do that and then another cop's behind me i'm
getting a ticket because
if you don't know the law it's not the still not their fault right right it's
your fault for not
knowing did you see the the hong kong protests that are going on no there's
crazy protests going on
in hong kong but what's uh amazing is there was an ambulance and the ambulance
was trying to i mean
there's giant crowds on the street i mean thousands if not a million people
right they part like the sea
for this for this ambulance it's crazy like if that was happening in america
good luck you could blow
that horn all you want what is this jamie you're gonna have to run oh that's it
that's it you know
why why does it say north point not like chinese characters on the street yeah
you sure this is the
one uh hong kong i mean hong kong protest is block world made way for ambulance
i saw an overhead shot
of it it was more impressive because it was uh this giant sea of people and
they all just made way and
everybody got right the out of the way for ambulances it's like when a predatory
fish
swims to like a small school oh here it is this this is what i saw yeah so
these people just open up
good luck trying that in america i mean these people are so polite millions of
protesters there
like two to three million or something yeah what do you know what they're
protesting over i can't
there's so much outrage worldwide i can't keep track man yeah there's stuff
going on everywhere you see
that there's this stuff in sudan right now everywhere you know every part of
the world
is up in arms gaza there's a bunch of going on that's been going on forever you
know there's a
new more recent it's exhausting yeah why can't people just not be right it's
impossible
that's what we need this mind reading software the problem with that is like
then you're just reading
the mind of maybe maybe but maybe people can let you know like hey man you don't
have to think like
that your problem is the way you're thinking yeah because that's 90 of the
problem with people it's
the way they think and then they act on the way they think i don't know if it's
90 i didn't really
i'm not a mathematician just threw that number out there well i think it's a
lot up yesterday i showed
you is sort of on the way to what you're talking about how your friends can
play a video game together
using only your minds oh okay this is what you were talking about after the
show telepathic communication
yeah this is this is the future a hundred percent there's going to be a time
where we share some
sort of i i think it's going to be some sort of a universal language they're
going to create a
language that's based like on images or or