Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1322 - Reggie Watts
Uploaded: 2019-07-10T02:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1322 - Reggie Watts' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1322 - Reggie Watts' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-10. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1322 - Reggie Watts

oh yeah that's all he is boom and we're live that's it hi hello reggie yeah the
stuff purple
venom um that's what he calls it that's what his friend calls it and uh yeah
his friend is like you
know pretty skeptical skeptical about other people's stuff but did you have a
coke nail
was that a coke nail no one no i know people think long people think that their
coke nails
they're not fake no they're real but you don't do coke i don't do coke ever
have you ever done
i mean i do coke zero i have done i i have done uh it's like coke light it's
like it looks like coke
you can snort it it feels like coke but it doesn't give you high um no uh i i
have i've tried it i
would say honestly maybe four times and i've never it's always it just felt
like i just took three
shots of espresso and i'm not it's not really it doesn't do anything for me
that i'm like i better
get better invest in that i need to try it one day because i just i need to
know what's going on
i'm 51 years old how do i i don't know what coke is i you know i think it's
worth i mean if you don't
if you you know if you don't have a predisposition for being a hyper addictive
personality oh i
definitely do but oh but i'm also wise enough to know yeah i mean i can quit
things yeah you got
experience you can control yourself but like i allegedly i was never i was
never like i guess
i've just never been someone who's like oh shit gotta have that forever like i've
never been that
the only thing that i'm reduced to now is just weed that's it well me too but i
also think that
it's one of those things if you're if your life is healthy if you have a good
balance and you're
enjoying your time and you're being creative and you have good friends and you
have fun you're not
looking for something to fuck your life up i think many of the times when you're
dealing with people
that have like severe debilitating addictions that are really just taking over
their life
there's something else going on almost always it's like problems you know
relationship problems
work problems life problems yeah they're not happy yeah there's an emptiness
there's an emptiness that
wants to be fed or maybe you have a lot of success and you're freaking out
about the success i think
that happens with some celebrities yes i i think so yeah overstimulation let's
do this oh yeah let's do it
yeah here it is so you can have the first i used an automated machine the the
auto have you heard
of it no so cool it's like this like little grinder and it's a grinder and it
and it fits on a tube
that you put an empty rolling thing in there so you like you put that in there
oh you got it um and
then it's like a yeah it's like a clear tube you put in the pre-rolled you know
empty whatever
joint thing and then uh and then you put this machine that just goes over
attaches magnetically
and then you put in your weed and you just press a button it's like coffee
makers like
and it fills it up perfectly and then you just pack it by shaking it and
twisting and you're done
these goddamn stoners today they're getting too crazy i don't i rarely smoke i
always make
exceptions for stuff like this you really oh look at it yeah wow that's
actually pretty sleek looking
yeah it's by banana brothers i think you know i i smoke pretty regularly but um
i i got high with
be real i did uh this smoke box show oh i'm like okay i'm who's be real a
rapper cypress hill
oh cypress hill got you how dare you i apologize i apologize i just so you know
i know nothing about
hip-hop god damn reggie how do you not know anything about cypress hill i know
i know people are always
like you gotta know about hip-hop i'm like i know shit i know run dmc you
really don't know any hip-hop
now i kind of stopped after the bohemian phase you know like after tribe called
quest and
de la soul like it just kind of lost me because then it turned in i like
gangster in the beginning
you know because it was something new and you're like what the fuck is this oh
that's so cool you
know but uh then it kind of morphed into club hop where it just was all about
bitches and cars and
all that shit and it was really the lyrics the beats i loved i thought it was
cool but i just got
tired of it i mean i because i left in 95 i left hip-hop in 95 96 and then i
know there's plenty of
hip-hop heads i'll be like dude you gotta check out so you gotta check out i
know there's shit loads of
shit and then maybe i'll go back into that phase but mostly i just like the the
beats and the
production and the lyrics i'm not really i'm not i'm not a lyrics guy anyways i
am a lyrics guy and
naz is definitely my favorite lyricist because his stuff is so creative like
what was that one we did
everything backwards to the whole song backwards like he started at the end and
then what the fuck
was that called james gonna go rewind yeah i mean i mean made you look creative
yeah it made you look
like i saw that and i was like that was actually a moment where i was like oh
am i gonna am i gonna
start getting back into this shit because yeah because it was intelligent yeah
um you know what i mean
like my thing is like if you're gonna be boastful and all that shit it should
be like muhammad ali
right right right you're super clever yeah clever flair also you can just be
right in someone's face
but i i like that but then when people are like kind of going off about how
much money they have and
all that shit i'm like i don't really care about that well i i've analyzed this
many times while under
the influence and the the culture it comes from not having something and then
once you have something
brag about it right like that's like jay-z like that's uh 99 problems he talks
about that 99 problems
yeah i mean i get it i get it but like at the same time if the if it just
sounds like basically the
three things that everyone talks about which is like women cars of some sort
and money or the
things you can buy with money after a while it just all bleeds together it's
all this it's the same
song and i mean it's so dope that you can come from nothing and you can work
your way up and you can
hustle and you can get stuff going in but like once you get to that place like
why not take advantage of
that platform what about run the jewels i've heard good things about it how
dare you chance the rapper
i've heard good things about it god damn i know i don't know shit man i'm i'm
more of like uh run
the jewels is so creative i'm an electronic guy i like it like music yeah let
me let me turn you on
some run the jewels please i wish we could play it on the podcast but then we
can't do that anymore
back in the day yeah they will run your jewels right out of town but back in
the day when you had uh
like the internet was no one knew what a podcast was you could do all kinds of
shit you could just play
things i mean you still can i mean if it was live stream you could take him
down you get
demonetized you get a strike against your channel if you get three strikes they
take your channel down
permanently it's all are you using youtube yes okay that's the real problem
youtube is the real
problem i'm uh i'm bypassing all that very soon what are you doing i'm just
doing my own live
streaming uh that's smart yeah because that way i just don't have to worry
about all that bullshit
yeah i mean ultimately that's where it's probably gonna have to go yes but but
at the same time
everybody's at youtube yeah so so the the secret is or the question is like how
can you well you
can do both yeah exactly i think that's the way to you want a zero zero alcohol
heineken are you
serious yeah i'll try a zero yeah because my problem with alcohol is alcohol
yeah so these are actually
very good they taste like a regular heineken check what i thought if you see
these what is that
it's a microtech uh california legal switchblade what yeah what are you stabbing
people at a tiny
knife what are you doing right now what the fuck's been going on since i saw
you i like it well i like
having a knife i'm from montana you always have a knife you just always have it's
like the greatest tool
but uh it makes sense how's the button go okay so hold it the opposite way uh
turn it around flip it
around yeah and then the button on the top side see there's like a lever no
this thing here yeah that
so this is on the back this is a glass breaker okay a glass breaker yeah for
like if you're in your car
you know or whatever and you need to break the window jesus um but uh here's
the switch is that
really what that's for yes let me see that like crazy so this would break your
window yeah
yeah yeah but how many people do you think could break a window with this i bet
if you got a lot
of people i just saw video there's a thing get some old car windows and like
like line them up and
just fucking yeah because it seems like that's like that's like kind of weird a
weird like standardized
tip for glass breakers really isn't that crazy so would you get it see but it
seems like it's
sliding your hand it doesn't it's too small i think if you you know if you
wedge it in if you held it
tight in your fist you know with your thumb over i think if you hit at it's
more about velocity i
think rather than strength whack it yeah because the way it's designed is to
just be like super
like precise strike what you want carrying a glass breaker with them man yeah i'm
not playing the
games you're ready do you have water you have like bottled water in your car at
all times i have
bottled water i have a a jump jumper self you know you can jump yourself you
know if you have bottled
water in your car in la you're basically drinking what is that shit that comes
the leaks into your
from your plastic pc bpa oh i'm not using i have glass it's all glass you have
glass how dare you
now fuck that i don't i'm not i mean like people are going to be like bitching
because i talk about
plastic bottles all the time but oh because we have it's here yeah it's here we
need a better solution
for that we should probably get glass and get a water jug yeah you just you
just get a you just
get a uh a municipal filter yeah and that's it and you get alkalized water room
temperature whatever
and you can just have clean water and you just have tons and tons of vessels i'm
sure what someone
would bkr would sponsor you or something like that what's bkr they're uh they're
uh like a i guess
a canteen company or water carrying like jug company it's we could have people
drink out of
mason jars that would be dope like old folks hell yeah hell yeah old timey are
you kidding yeah it'll
be like uh you know like grandma's kitchen cupboard yeah why do people like
drinking out of mason jars
i think it started with grandma's what was that band what was that one band no
there was that one um sort of uh bluesy rocky band that pretty recently mumford
and suns
bam jamie's a goddamn wizard jamie's a goddamn wizard how he do it he's how he
do it he knows what i'm
gonna ask before i he googles it he's a wizard he craves got something he's got
something some special
talent but uh yeah those guys they dressed like they were from another era
right they all they wore like
weird clothes from like the pioneer days yeah they look like time travelers
like from a steampunk era
i mean kind of i mean i know you're saying like in the beginning yeah you know
fortune femster
the oh yeah yeah yeah really funny she's really funny yeah i follow her she's i
wish i remember her
joke but she had a funny joke about mumford and sons and mason jars really oh
sweet yeah oh that's good
i think it was like something to the the the tune of you know she used mason
jars for real not like
not like this oh yeah she actually grew up poor i think that was it i apologize
if i'm wrong that
was i mean that's very funny though i mean she is i mean she's so rad i saw her
in uh where we're in
oh in australia sydney she's doing a podcast with tom papa oh yeah who's tom
papa sorry how dare you
again sorry guys tom papa is a brilliant stand-up comedian re