Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1324 - Ian Edwards
Uploaded: 2019-07-12T02:25:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1324 - Ian Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1324 - Ian Edwards' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-12. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1324 - Ian Edwards

Boom! Ian Edwards, ever the contrarian, shows up with an Android phone drinking
tea.
Gangster, son. Crazy! You just followed no rules, man. Still vegan, baby.
Sort of. You had some french fries with David Lee Roth that were made with
clearly some animal fat.
Jamie, you were there. What did you see? I saw a french fry or two. Disappeared
in my life.
Listen, at that MGM Steakhouse, they ain't cooking those french fries in
anything other than animal fat.
Guaranteed. They're too delicious. I didn't see it. I didn't see it.
Even at McDonald's, if you get McDonald's fries, apparently they cook them in
some fucking disgusting fat.
Well, that's what makes them taste so good.
What does make McDonald's fries taste good? They're pretty good, but they're
not my favorite.
They're not? I get confused when people say they're better than In-N-Out fries.
Oh, what? I like fries that taste like potatoes.
Oh, yeah? In-N-Out fries are far superior.
I don't like fries that taste like potatoes.
How dare you!
What? This is the most upset I've ever seen Jamie in all my years working with
him.
Is In-N-Out fries better than McDonald's?
I do personally feel it. You know who I had beef with that about?
Hilarious.
Candy Alexander from NewsRadio.
She was the first person to, like, we went and got In-N-Out, like, for the
whole group of us.
And she got McDonald's fries.
She went and got McDonald's fries.
I'm like, why'd you get McDonald's fries?
She's like, fuck those bullshit fries.
Those In-N-Out fries.
I'm like, what?
I didn't understand.
They can be okay, but they're so hit or miss that they can miss bad.
To me, they're remarkably consistent.
They always taste like potatoes.
What are we discussing here?
Fries are remarkably...
It's like wine.
Remarkably...
Well, still, they can't fuck with Five Guys fries.
Five Guys are the king of fries.
For real?
Yes, they have two options.
They have...
They're real.
They have the fucking potatoes in bags sitting in their goddamn store just to
let you know,
bitch, we're using these potatoes.
And then they take that bag and shake it in there and cut it up.
They have Cajun fries, so they win.
You have another option.
You got spicy fries that are goddamn delicious.
I might have to stop by there.
And then you don't have to crack packets to get your ketchup.
They have a giant tub of the ketchup.
He squirted that bitch in a nice little cup, a little paper cup.
You can shower it and have that.
In ketchup.
If McDonald's had that, homeless people would be under it.
Squirt mustard in their mouth.
I'll tell you what, man.
Since Starbucks got in trouble for being racist, there's a lot more homeless
people at Starbucks.
They understand now.
They could just go there.
It's really odd.
That's so funny.
It's true.
They can't get kicked out.
They can't get kicked out.
Everybody's afraid.
Dude, it's 100% different.
100% different in some spots.
Which ones are you going to?
Because the ones in Hollywood, they know how to handle it for the most part.
They got locks on everything.
I went to a shifty one in downtown where they don't even have a bathroom.
How are you serving coffee if you don't have a bathroom?
Coffee makes you shit and piss.
Yeah.
This is ridiculous.
But I realized they didn't have a bathroom because of the homeless people.
There was homeless people that had like, this guy had a port and he was
charging all of
his devices.
He had everything.
He had like a phone, a fucking iPad.
He's got a long night ahead of him.
But they get free electricity there.
And so he's got like a bag of his stuff.
Like he's got a little camp in the corner of the Starbucks.
I'm like, wow.
On one hand, like, hey, how's the guy supposed to get some electricity?
I want him to get back up on his feet.
Maybe this is the way to do it.
Maybe it's through that iPad.
On the other hand, I'm like, hey, don't give me a disease, you fucking.
I got hit to this Instagram account yesterday, Street People of Los Angeles,
which has got
some very interesting content.
Is that a naked person?
Yes, it is.
Naked person just changing on the street?
Changing on the street.
That was actually in San Francisco, I think.
I remember checking that post.
Wow.
This has got some interesting stuff.
These guys were like cooking underneath a tree with like a live grill right
somewhere.
There's a Tommy's in Hollywood.
Sorry.
Go ahead.
Tommy's home.
And there's always like a bunch of young homeless people cooking in front of it.
Like, there's a bus stop.
They have a lit fire.
Like, caveman.
Like, like, like, like, fear of the walking dead style campfire.
Like, outside of the Tommy's on Hollywood Boulevard, like, on a daily basis.
How weird.
It's just weird that that's okay.
Like, if you just wanted to start a fire on the side of the road, would that be
okay?
No.
No.
But can you start a fire to cook?
Apparently.
Can you?
Or did they just not get busted?
Probably need a permit.
Yeah, I think you need something.
Like, uh, to be like a grill street vendor type permit.
If you wanted to sell.
What if you just wanted to give food away?
You can't do that.
You can't, but you can eat it yourself.
I don't know.
Could you offer it to somebody?
I don't know.
It seems like you could offer it to somebody.
Like, you know, if they allow you to cook and you and I were sitting there and
we're cooking.
I said, would you like some?
And you said, sure.
Yeah, yeah.
It looks good.
That should be okay.
Yeah, it's like a donation.
You know, some places they don't charge you to get in, but they accept a
donation.
But what if you plan in advance?
You say, hey, all of us meet on the corner of 3rd and Santa Monica.
I'm going to have a cookout.
And where's your house?
Oh, no, no, no.
No house, son.
Hilarious.
We're just setting up right here on the concrete.
Yeah, those people should just go to a park that has those grills.
Like, Griffith Park is not far.
Right.
Griffith Park is like people with homes cook there.
Yeah, they got free grills.
Yeah.
You could just do it up there.
Anybody can cook there.
Yeah.
That is one of the nicest parts of LA, by the way.
And if people don't know, that is a fucking wildlife area.
That's a legit wildlife area.
There is a real predator, prey, fucking law of the jungle thing going down
right now in
Griffith Park.
It's mountain lions and deer.
Yeah.
And it is going down.
And coyotes.
Every day.
And coyotes.
You are doing all your stuff.
It's a really amazing place, right?
Because here we are.
We got Pasadena and Glendale and Burbank and LA.
You know, beautiful fucking BMWs driving by.
Teslas.
Everything's cool.
People are jogging.
They got ear pods in.
They're jogging in Griffith Park.
They're jogging right near a war zone.
It's a war zone.
Bushes rustling sometimes because I live around the corner and I'm like, I'm on,
I'm stay paying
attention 100%.
We got a giant framed picture headed to the studio of this mountain lion that
was photographed
by a camera trap.
You know what a camera trap is?
Nah.
They set them up to monitor the numbers of wildlife and to just try to get an
accurate assessment
of what's in the area.
So what it is, it's like a camera.
That's the photo.
It's a camera that operates on motion detection.
So as this cat, this probably 150 pound, super muscular, grown ass mountain
lion with a fucking
collar on his neck.
His name is P-22.
That's what it said, did it say up there?
Is it just P-22?
It's about 119 pounds as of May.
Okay.
So it's not quite that big.
So it's still big enough to kill everyone in this room.
If it's in the room with us, we're fucked.
Yeah.
But look how muscular it is.
I mean, that is a, look at the size of its goddamn forearms.
Those are Franco Colombo forearms.
That is a terrifying animal.
And that animal lives around where all these people are jogging.
It's a really strange situation.
Yeah.
I'm never going to Griffith Park again.
Fuck that.
It's a great park.
Yeah.
They don't fuck with people.
Until I saw a P-125.
I'm out.
Stay in my house, bro.
Look at the Hollywood sign behind it, though.
It's so perfect.
It's almost like a fake picture.
That is so close to me.
Yeah, so close to you.
I went to the park and said, I'm like a block and a half away from that joint.
Dude, I run with a knife.
Oh, yeah.
I do.
I run with this fucking half-faced blades knife.
It's called the S-H-P-O-S.
Subhuman piece of shit.
That's what the name of the knife is.
It's the same he's eating here in this photo.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
So they caught him here.
Look at that.
He's got blood and bones.
He's eating something.
That must be like a deer leg.
Yeah.
Fucking A, that is madness.
And he's digging a hole in the ground to stuff it in there to save it.
Fuck, man.
Because you know what?
The deer around there are really comfortable.
Yeah, but that could be a kid, man.
Right.
100% could be a kid.
But I know why he's there.
Because the deer in that neighborhood, like they walk around in the daytime
like they're tourists, too.
Because there's no hunting around there.
So they're like all comfortable and shit.
I think people probably feed them, too.
Yeah.
So then now that's like, oh, let me track these motherfuckers over to this area
and I'll just have a feast.
It's a buffet night.
Look at this shit.
It's on Mulholland Drive.
It's on Mulholland Drive.
There's a grown-ass mountain lion with a collar on that's got a giant deer on
the ground, a buck.
Not giant.
It's probably a 100-pound deer on the ground, dead, on the side of the city
street.
It's a regular city street.
Yeah.
Civilization.
And this is a cat that's killing deer with its face.
That's where we live.
And not only that, we know where it is.
We have a collar on it.
We're playing this game.
You don't fuck with us.
We won't fuck with you.
And they won't fuck with you for the most part.
The problem comes when they get old.
When they get old, they get real dangerous because they get desperate.
They can't catch a deer anymore.
So they go for the easy kill.
They go for people.
People are easy.
Right.
Yeah.
Your kids are easy.
I'm going to go hiking with somebody slow.
That's a move.
Yeah.
Go hiking with a small, slow person.
Someone who just doesn't look like a challenge at all.
Hey, man.
Survival of the fittest.
Go smoking with someone who's smoking.
Just smoking the meat makes it more attractive.
It's hilarious.
What we eat affects how we taste.
It's got it, right?
So maybe like people who are really into junk food, they'd be more attractive.
They have a sweet taste to them.
Yeah.
I bet, right?
If you just eat candy all day, I bet you taste delicious.
Yeah.
The human Skittle.
Attack the human Skittle over here.
Leave me alone.
That fucking cat is so big, man.
Imagine just seeing a 115-pound cat in the room with you.
You'd be like, oh, Jesus Christ.
Like, my dog is probably maybe 75, 80 pounds, somewhere in that range.
He's not a...
Marshall.
Yeah.
And if he wanted to kill me, he probably could.
Right.
I mean, he's a golden retriever.
They don't kill anything other than squirrels.
But if he wanted to, I mean, I don't know.
If he had that mentality.
If he really was, like, crazed, like, 28 days later, he got that rage virus in
him, and he just went after me, he's got giant ass fucking teeth.
Right.
I mean, I assume that I would kick his ass because he listens to me.
Right.
Because I'm his daddy.
Uh-huh.
You know what I mean?
Like, there's no...
He's never...
I've had pit bulls that growl at you a little bit, and you've got to kind of
like, hey, motherfucker, I'm the one who gives you your food.
Cut the shit.
And then they'll give you their paw, and then they're sorry.
You play a little game with them, a little dominance game.
Especially when they're teenagers, and they're, like, one and a half, two years
old.
They'll test you just to...
Because it's natural for them.
Right.
It's natural for dogs.
Goldens don't ever do that.
He don't growl at anybody.
They're disobedient.
He's the worst guard dog of all time.
Damn.
You come over everybody.
He loves everybody.
He loves you.
I love..