Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat
Uploaded: 2019-07-12T07:32:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-12. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat

two one boom miss pat we're live what's up how are you hey great to see you
again glad to be back
man this studio is better than my house crap i'm gonna go home and tell my
husband we need to move
in joe rogan's studio there's not a lot of room for extra people i i know i
know i know i was just
fantasizing are you still in indianapolis um unfortunately you don't like it
there hell no
i like my fans but i i'm black and you know it's snow and snow and weave don't
go together
and you know i just don't like it it's the same everybody eat at applebee's and
golden corral
i need culture culture yeah what about chicago i'm cool i want to go back to atlanta
atlanta that's
where i want to be i want to be in atlanta i love atlanta yes man the food the
people yes i just i
want to walk out my door and smell mexican indian all type of spices all i
smell in my community is
duck shit and tiki torches
tiki torches and dryer sheets because white women do their laundry dryer sheets
yeah i need some
culture i need to walk outside and see all types of people isn't it weird how
places just never develop
a lot of culture some places just the spots just never get any more interesting
yeah it's just it's
so boring everybody go to church nobody curse and when i come out my door and
if i'm talking to a
neighbor and i use perfect oh my god i said i'm not gonna change my language
because you decide to
walk your dog today and stop and talk to me you tried to talk to me and
everybody pick up their dog
shit in my community and and where i'm from hey that was fertilizer so you see
your neighbor with a big
old pound of dog crap in his hand i'm like dude no no i don't think it works as
fertilizer because my dog
pisses and shits on the lawn it just leaves these big old like yellow spots
yeah but if you leave long
enough and it rains on them they just go into the grass that's true they don't
kill the grass it don't
kill the grass i think the piss does the piss seems to kill the grass well i
don't know we didn't have
no grass everybody walked through the grass i just i didn't care about lawns
until i bought came became a
homeowner yeah homeowners care about lawns homeowners care about a lot of crap
you have to yeah i have a
rental property in atlanta if i can get rid of that i would never ever black
people come up with some of
the strangest things why they ain't got their rent like i supposed to care i
tell them bank of america
don't care that your mama that your your grandchild had a seizure i need my
rent money put a spoon in his
mouth tell them about cbd yeah i mean i've had so oh i just i'd be so glad when
i can get rid of this
property so you own a place in atlanta yes would you live there at the place
that you own hell no no
no i wouldn't live there you don't like the spot i'm a little too bougie for
that much i'm a little
too bougie i got health care too much success no not too much success i'm a
little too bougie to live
back well but i rent it out i rent out some nice place but you would live in atlanta
somewhere else
oh yeah i want to go to peace street city kenesaw yeah yeah i want to live in
atlanta i love atlanta
why don't you um make your way down there what's what's holding you in in indianapolis
health care
jeff health care my husband has a really good job that we pays nothing his knee
just went out his
hands done gone out and i can't pay for them types of things what damn he
towards acl running to the
cafeteria at work oh yeah i've done that i've done i tore both of them you
probably were exercising he
was going to get food don't watch this episode of joe rogan baby i'm sorry tune
out now sir
that's a rough one to recover from it takes a long time six months yeah he was
six months now he's he's
got a carpet on in his hand so he's getting ready to have a hand surgery does
he type what does he uh
he builds the allison transmission for allison oh for general motors so he's
constantly
moving things with his hands yeah so his hand is carpal tunnel's a bitch my mom
got that
that's a rough one well i never had a job where i did that much repetition you
know i sold drugs and
forged a few checks but it wasn't an everyday thing i had to do so you have how
many checks you'd
have to forge where you get carpal tunnel yeah a lot so once you burn 32 you
don't have any more
to burn you gotta wait till somebody steal the next book plus i was really
young back in the day
yeah damn so that's what's keeping you in indianapolis health care my husband
got a good job i need a tv
show so i can get some really good health care well your podcast is launched
now it is what's it
it's called the pat down the pat down and i have my own song too oh thank you
yes we're talking about
ari yes but ari getting in trouble for putting other people's songs on his
podcast and they
demonetize his podcast yeah my nephew um uh riverdale shawty made me my own
little pat down song oh nice
so yes somebody made a song for you that's yeah yeah i was just trying to do
something different it's
only 30 minutes of me talking crap about whatever's going on in my life perfect
you hear my kids in the
background getting cussed out you hear the creditor calling me and uh my co-host
is a little white boy
named chris who don't know nothing about black america and then i got my friend
who just uh uh he's ready
to go march if you if you need him to so i got i got this libertarian this
crazy-ass democrat together
and i'm down the middle and say hey we can all get along and they hated each
other then first how'd
you get them together because they hated each other so you did it on purpose
yeah my black friend
thought chris was racist i was like no i know racist he's not racist he's just
naive to the fact
and so i put him what naive no tell him what i'm trying to say naive oh naive
yeah you got to translate
you know i was like yeah is that like adam and eve like i was trying to go with
this it was naive but
it sounded like adam and eve yes so he just didn't understand so we get them
together and we have
these conversations about race and uh we did an episode about abortion and chris
was like he's
really christian and he was like i was like do you believe a woman should have
a right to have an
abortion he just pitter-pattered all around it's chris just say yes or no and
finally said i don't
believe a woman should have an abortion i said that's fine but this is my
vagina and i can do
what i want to do with if i want to stick firecrackers in my vagina and turn it
into the fourth of
july joe rogan this is my vagina as long as i don't get no vagina juice on you
that makes sense
yeah um atlanta's got a problem now with that right isn't that georgia just
passed a new abortion
law i don't think it's passed yet but she just canceled her shows yeah yeah she
just canceled her
shows in atlanta because i think it passed i think that was the idea that's why
she canceled it i don't
think it passed y'all because the tv people haven't pulled out yet oh you think
they would if it passed
i think they would i really think tax money atlanta got them in there because
of tax money yeah and i
think they'll leave and a lot of people lose their jobs i don't think they're
gonna leave i don't think
nobody should be telling us what to do with our bodies i don't think so either
yeah i mean that you
know i've been shot in the titty my one of my nips is messed up so that's like
you trying to tell me i
should get my titty fix if i don't want my titty fix it's my prerogative i
shouldn't have to have
my titty fix right joe how do you feel about late-term abortions that's where
people get scared
now i don't think it's squirrely yeah i don't think you should be killing no
having no abortion in
those six and eight months now and i don't think it should be recreation either
because i had an abortion
recreate just doing it for fun recreation i like how you translate for fun oh i've
had a few friends
what are you gonna do today well i was thinking about riding a roller coaster
but it i'll get an
abortion i've had a few friends that had quite a few abortions that i've had
one myself i mean my in my
situation i think everybody's situation is different my situation i was i
already had my first baby at 14
my second child at 15 and it was by a married man well i got pregnant by this
married man again and i just
looked at myself i said here i am 16 pregnant with my third child i cannot take
care of the two i got
and you know it was all of this stuff like what they tell you about birth
control and safe sex that
wasn't going on in the 80s you know people shedding their doves and talking
wouldn't even talk about
it well especially when you were a little kid i'm 14 so i was a kid so when i
got pregnant with my third
child i i became emancipated minor and divorced my mom and i went and got an
abortion because i knew he
wasn't helping me with the first two that's so crazy so i told the story on the
first podcast and it's
still to this day sometimes i'll be doing something and i'll just think about
your story and just go
selling drugs as a teenager pregnant with two kids by the time you're 16 by mary
man crazy in jail i mean
i dropped out of school in eighth grade you know all of that stuff and i just
said i said i don't want my
kids to end up like me so i was like i can't keep having these babies and after
that i got on birth
control and i just prayed i said lord i don't want no more kids by this bomb
and i never got pregnant
so i got married well that's good yeah so now i have those two you know i used
to tell a bit about
i got a set of medicaid kids and a set of blue cross blue shit kids
so i waited till they got older and i mean i got older and i became i started
to learn about life he taught me a
lot and so i had those last two and i tied my tubes very very good move yeah
four is enough
that's a good number but you know joe i'm black so my family smoked crack so
they keep giving me
their kids so i had to tie my tubes to make room for the crack baby they keep
coming in and not my house
i'm raising four right now really yeah i have my niece my niece um i picked up
my niece like five years
ago to help her out oh she had a baby that was two weeks old and i have this
thing like all kids
deserve off solid foundation because i didn't have one so i picked this is my
third set of kids i've
raised and i'm just 47. so i picked my niece up maybe two weeks old and she got
three other kids
i said okay i got this big house in indianapolis come live with me i got three
four extra bedroom
well this ran off and left me with them kids now i have a five she left you
with her kids yeah and a
10 and 11 year old and i've had these kids for six years and i literally have
not seen my niece in
almost four years no phone call no nothing and you know i'm trying to build a
career so i have a daughter
who my whole my all my kids who was at the house now had to make a major
sacrifice
like my daughter couldn't go off to college because she didn't want to leave my
husband with these four
kids so she went to college in indianapolis but she said she went mostly from
you know home my son
couldn't go out to college because they at home helping raise these four kids
that i called my crack
babies but they're home raising my crack babies because you don't want to leave
my husband with all four
these crack babies by themselves so you know where is the mother you want to
hear something crazy the
blocked me on facebook joke she won't even let me be a friend on facebook you're
taking care of her
children yeah and she blocked you on facebook why did she block you because i
kept saying i'm gonna kill
you i was ready to live my best life i said oh i'm making some money me and my
husband go to hawaii
get naked float in the water right bam four crack babies you can't do that when
you can't you know how
much a ticket to hawaii you call i can't take them crack babies with me oh my
god i love them crazy
yeah so i i mean it changed it's changed everythin