Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1328 - Whitney Cummings
Uploaded: 2019-07-31T03:31:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1328 - Whitney Cummings' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1328 - Whitney Cummings' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-07-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1328 - Whitney Cummings

she has more lifelike eyes boom and we're here we go we're going uh whitney cummings
is here
and whitney cummings too what do you call her what's your name what's your name
she's like a
little kid just repeats her name she's talking about am sandler oh she's broken
don't know why
she heard his album name she's like series oh what's your name was a comedy
album of adam
sandler's so she started rambling about it she really wants to chime in so you
never gave her a
name her name is bear claw whoa because i had a bear claw can you say hi of
course i can say that
hi people are like listening to this going what in the fuck is going on here do
not smoke weed and
watch this episode what is here is when there's people that are just listening
if you're just
listening you probably should stop this and go to youtube and watch the youtube
version because
whitney brought a robot that they made for her recent comedy special which is
called can i touch it
it's out right now on netflix and um they made uh is who makes this what's the
name of the company so
real doll makes the body they make sex dolls straight up sex dolls and straight
up straight
up sex dolls just ted bundy level right just dead body to fuck and this is real
botox is the company
that makes the head and they did like sophia you know sophia the robot she's
like on she has like
citizenship in saudi arabia now and shit yeah yeah yeah look up uh sophia the
robot she's kind of
once you see her face you'll you'll recognize citizenship yes i mean she's
allowed to drive
yeah i was gonna say a female robot does but i don't think actual females do
but i think they
just started being able to drive in saudi arabia what a hassle some reform that'd
be such a bummer
yeah yeah it's like you spent your whole life not having to drive and then all
of a sudden now you
have to be like fuck that's an interesting take i have to go to school and
drive and sophia the
robot they made her look like ex machina style where you could see the back of
her head though
i can do that with her i can take her wig off at the end show you all the servos
and shit
come on ex machina's hot it is hot that was what was really weird about that
movie is you wanted to
fuck that robot like she was hot like she was she was seductive but do you
think part of it was like
the innocence of it i'm not really in the innocence so i don't think so well
what about ex machina
because she really had big boobs she wasn't very sexual she had hair very
pretty yeah well she's
gorgeous the girl that it's based on i think because she was flirting with him
and because she was
trapped and because like he could save her and she would love him and i mean
that's really what was
going on in the movie like she was playing this game yeah to get him to fall in
love with her so
that she could eventually escape the end of the movie spoiler alert when she
leaves him locked in that
room and he's smashing at the door trying to get out and she gets in that
helicopter it's what's gonna
happen that's what's gonna happen because i think the most fucked up thing
about this thing
because this is such a weird experiment that i want to do is how i anthropomorphize
her and like worry
about her do you keep her around your house i mean she's sort of in my fiancee
hates her and he's
like get her in the fucking garage and i don't know if he thinks she's creepy
or kind of is just like
too worried he'll fuck her he hates her he can't stand he just has he's like it
makes him like
physically really and i i'm trying to not take something it's funny he doesn't
like he's like
one's and he's like not interested at all but no he thinks it's really weird
and creepy but i was
reading about um the reason uh we're creeped out by robots is you know pathogen
avoidance like we've
evolved to be repelled by anything that looks human but doesn't move like a
human because our primordial
brain thinks it could be diseased it's like it's basically like our primal
brain saying don't fuck this
thing that's sick really wow because we have a weirdly i mean i was jesse may
pelusa was over
the other day and she was like gagging she was like every time she talked when
she was seeing it
and i was like your ancestors fucked a lot of corpses oh because you have that
gene to be repulsed by
robots yeah it's because her ancestors fucked corpses you really believe that
no i mean i think that what
was being explained to me was that pathogen avoidance means we've evolved
to be repelled by anything that looks human but doesn't move like a human
because it could be
sick or dead and it's our brain's alarm system saying like don't fuck that
thing wow but but as a
woman like she's not gonna fuck it yeah so why would it freak you know jesse
she might she's so crazy
i'm not i put nothing past jesse may half of her instagram photos are her with
her pants off i know
it's so good but i'm like if you puke on my robot you owe me a hundred grand
will it short circuit if it gets wet i don't know it's a good point
well how would they not make that thing waterproof one of the spooching all
over the place i think if you pay this
much money you're probably not gonna spooge on her you know this one yeah this
one the body you can
so it's expensive because the head moves the body's not that how much is the
body six thousand dollars
oh so it's ninety four thousand dollars worth of head that no the head is more
the head's like 30
something because it's a custom head no one only one other person has one but
you said the whole
thing's a hundred so the whole head's 30 and the body six where's the where's
the rest well i had to
get a bunch of things done to her to get her to look like me that most people
most people don't want
she just looked at you she just went bitch she just gave you side eye she's
being very competitive look
at her she does she gives you side eye i know it's fucking rude it's weird but
what about what's the
feeling that you feel when you look at a robot because i know you really don't
like it um it's not that i
don't like robots what i'm my concern is artificial intelligence i have a
legitimate concern for
artificial intelligence because i think that what we are is some sort of an
electronic caterpillar and that we're
making cocoons and that we're we're going to give birth to a butterfly and that's
going to be the next
stage of life and that if you go back and look at the evolution of the human
species at one point in
time we were you know australia pythicus we were some weird hominids and we
evolved and became what
we are now and if you went back to those things and asked them hey one day do
you want to drive
around the tesla and talk on the phone and stare at this movie screen they'd be
like well i don't know
what the fuck you're talking about but i got to go find some nuts yep you know
i gotta
eat i gotta stay alive they it it wouldn't like the future and i don't think we
like the future
either but i think it's inevitable i think it's inevitable you know you know
you know about this
elon musk neural link thing that they're doing oh yeah i do i mean because you
essentially think
we're going to evolve with them i mean they're already we're already one with
them we sleep with
them we can't drive without them we can't spell without them i mean we've
already kind of merged with
them you know i think it's a sneaky way of uh making it symbiotic they're gonna
they're gonna
be like legitimately a part of your life i mean a part of your body have you
ever like left your i
mean you're not you probably are cool about it but when i leave my phone
somewhere and i realize i've
lost something it's like an emotional it's like you lost your kid at the mall
yeah i have a bit about
oh shit i haven't seen it oh like that's yeah it's part of us well it's um we're
all in denial about
how addicted we are to our phones rehabs are opening and shit now are they
really yeah i i would like to
sign up for sure i just reach i reach for it in the car when i'm driving yeah
and i'm like what the
the fuck am i doing i have to put in the back seat i can't control it i've
gotten way better way better
i get way better about posting and looking at things it's also when enough
people write negative
things about you you just tend to i don't know what you're talking about i've
never had that experience
no one writes anything about me it just seems like whatever we do in the future
it's going to be more
invasive than that like if you think about like facebook's algorithms right
facebook's algorithms are
designed to keep us engaged the best way to keep us engaged is keep keep us
outraged
adrenaline yeah so they're sending you things that piss you off yeah whether it's
abortion or catholic
priests whatever it is that is going to get you to post the most yeah and
usually those are things
that get people outraged so it's literally raising the level of outrage in our
discourse yeah because
we're so addicted right now to self-righteous indignation it's a drug more than
ever in the history
of the culture you know like it that's probably like why if you go back and
watch movies from like
the 70s like people got away with crazy shit racist things sexist things
violence like steve mcqueen
movies he is to what was the girl ally mcgraw he's a smacker in the face for
real in movies
like crazy beat her on camera yeah you know and it's just what people did back
then and what people got
away with is it was a very it was very different so in some ways we're making
progress but then in some
ways we're just way more easily outraged by almost anything and everything like
we're seeking it well
now you can take your anger out on your robot i wanted to get a real doll a
male real doll and
i want to call them up and say no dick no just so i could practice jujitsu on
it and so it would be
it would be more real club because i have this i was saying that i have this
doll but why can't it
have the dick are you worried i don't want it i don't want anybody coming over
too tempting i don't
want anybody coming over and going hey bro why you got a sex dog no no no no it's
an asexual doll
that is for jujitsu perverts i mean it should they should be able to fill up
the hole i've seen it
it's called window cock or something yeah you can just put some grout in there
yeah they have male
male sex robots are being made there's tons of them i've seen them you can also
get tits and a
dick if you want tits and a dick sure if you just can't pick you want to play
whack-a-mole the jim
morton package jim norton special that's right but it's uh yeah it's it's name
is henry meet henry and
can i do a lot of people get the male sex robot to figure out if they're gay
because they think they might be
gay good move what the is going on with henry's eyebrows i'll tell you what henry's
gay for sure
yeah i was gonna say if you order a giant piece of tub where the i think you're
gay
save you save your money it's like henry's begging for a dick in his mouth look
at his face
henry looks like he has a dick in his ass right now that's the exact face you
would make one giant
trigger one and it's like tuesday at 11 a.m like oh i didn't see that coming
why does it have a trigger
warning you see it no what does it say this is uh the following post contains
descriptions
of sexual scenarios that may be triggering for those recovering from a struggle
with porn oh god damn it
porn addiction we are nerfing this world it must be hard i didn't even think
about how hard it must be
for people recovering from porn addiction to just surf the internet sorry guys
trigger warning get over it
pussies but i have this theory look at henry oh gosh oh henry looks kind of oh
henry remember those
candy plus yes i do those are good pretty good yeah i think they still make
them you haven't had
an oh henry bar since the 90s i haven't had one a long time when's the last
time you ate a candy bar
um i had chocolate recently yeah i eat chocolate i like chocolate edible yeah
no no not edi