Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1331 - Alonzo Bodden
Uploaded: 2019-08-07T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1331 - Alonzo Bodden' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1331 - Alonzo Bodden' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-08-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1331 - Alonzo Bodden

hello Alonzo what is up Joe good to see my brother man it is so good to be back
it's my first time seeing the new joint it's absolutely amazing yeah I thought
you'd been
here the new spot but no like I say you were building this when I did the last
one and this
this is when you said you could do everything here it's like yeah this is the
bunker I don't
live that far from here come on down so when the bomb hits I'm like yeah I'm
going to Joe's spot
well if you live in the neighborhood you want to use the gym it's always open
thanks come on down
I'll bring canned goods bring water purifiers yeah if the shit hits the fan
Bernie had me nervous
Bernie Sanders was just here he had me nervous about climate change whenever
someone brings up
climate change it's like a bill that you didn't pay like ah fuck yeah it's it's
real and okay so
now I'm gonna do my first shameless plug for my new special when is it out now
August 23rd
on Amazon Prime it's called one of the new wave of Amazon's yes I'm very
excited about this yeah
they're they're testing the water so it's good to be in so uh it's called heavy
lightweight and I call
it that because I do some heavy topics and then I mix it in with lightweight
shit because that's like
if you do all heavy right like it's it's wow that was depressing yeah and you
know and I talk about the
climate change thing but it's like to be honest like look I'm a black man 57 I
got what like 10 years left I'll give a
shit you know what I'm saying like statistically god bless you millennials I
wish you luck but I had a good run no so nah by the way you look amazing for 57
thank you yeah
that don't crack it well and this is what I talk about right up until the day
it does right so like
like literally right till the day before I die look great and then what
happened some bitch died from what black
been black his whole life shit just caught up with him you got fucking diabetes
sickle cell and high blood
pressure in the same day a wave of malady but no but the the climate change
thing is real but I think the big problem is
it's slow it's not dramatic so people it's easy to not think about it because
you know that yeah the ocean's rising but it's an inch a year
right which you know I may not that may not be exact but you know what I mean
it's not a lot right so people don't
people don't see it with the urgency and that and I think that's why you have
the young congress people talking about it because
they're like hey this is going to be in our lifetime right but then you have
the older generation where
it's like eh you know it's interesting I'm pretty sure and we should check this
make sure this is
correct and I think we learned about this from Randall Carlson that the
increased CO2 rates also increases
vegetation because vegetation and greenery they use carbon dioxide right yeah
the the into in increased
rates actually this is like one of the greenest times ever yeah but I wonder
how does that offset
versus the there's less land for these plants to grow on you know what I mean
like so when you look at
like rainforest jungles things like that like this is the opposite of that was
it say that it makes it
harder for it to them to grow but when what article says that and is there any
articles that say that's not the
case because it seems like that's not something Randall would lie about he was
talking about how
this is like one of the most green times ever and the increase of forest and
and green trees honestly I
guess I'm seeing both of them then so the very first things that pop up are
high carbon levels make it
harder for plants to grow from think progress second thing increase carbon
dioxide levels and air restrict
plants ability to absorb nutrients it's from science.gu.se it's another country
I think Sweden then NASA says
think progress sounds like a bunch of fucking hippies bunch of tree-dog bitches
NASA says though well it's
making a greener for now yes so I would buy that the thing about the thing and
is it didn't this funny
like what science you have to check because you have to see if there's a
political agenda click on the NASA one you have to see if there's a political
agenda behind the science right yeah so for sure
but with NASA I'd go with what NASA says I think they say go scroll back up
please co2 is making the earth greener for now and then says a quarter to half
of Earth's vegetated lands have shown significant greening over the last 35
years largely due to rising levels of levels of atmospheric carbon dioxide
according to a new study published in the journal for natural climate change on
April 25th yeah see an international team of 32 offer authors from 24
four institutions in eight countries led the effort which involved using
satellite data from NASA's moderate resolution imaging
spectrometer in the national oceanic and atmospheric administrations advanced
very high resolution ready radio meter instruments to help determine the leaf
area index or the amount of leaf cover over the planet's vegetated regions the
greening represents an increase in leaves on plants and trees equivalent in
areas to two times
the continental United States blah blah blah blah so Randall's right I think
but I think either way we're fucked and then we'll just be we'll all die in a
very green planet how much if everything melts if the polarized caps melt like
where can we live in South Dakota or some shit I don't know I don't think so
make it in I don't deep inside you know I don't think so like like like you
know they want California to fall into the ocean right you always hear that
Texas
it's like it's like yeah and the tidal wave will kill you yeah you know I don't
know I don't know I don't think that's safe because it would be such a drastic
change I mean right so much of the earth's weather is controlled by the
polarized caps the magnetic poles the the rainfall you know glaciers and it's
all interconnected right that's why the hurricanes are getting stronger right
right speculation yeah so if you lose like the oceans
you don't control the earth's climate because the water you don't control the
earth's climate because the water you know having to do with evaporation and so
on so by the way for sure you shouldn't be getting weather information from you
or me
listen we got two two expert scientists here we've been we've been talking
about this for minutes
thinking about it for hours all told over our lives but no it's it's um it's
real yeah but it but it is
something I think it's definitely younger people are going to be more
interested because it could be a
major thing like if you're 30 now when you're 60 this could be a real real big
issue it's a bad time to buy real
real estate in Miami no you don't well you don't when is a good time to buy
real estate when you got a lot of coke in your pocket
and you look at a party you found out you have stage four cancer but you do
have a large bag of coke
you know I love that you mentioned that because it this has been a thing so the
the weed industry being
legal right and they say there's all this money that people can't figure out
what to do with right the banks
don't want it like Miami was built with cocaine money what happened to those
money laundering guys
who cleaned up all of that money built all that real estate like where are they
now different era
I can't believe that there's not people out there who can figure out how to
clean this weed money and
boost the economy they will be able to figure it out but it's going to take a
long time and the people
that are trying to figure it out right now like the the weed dealers that are
selling it legally but
then they have all the stockpiles of cash they have to they have higher mercenaries
and they hire blackwater
guys and shit fucking special ops guys to watch their their money they really
have to
my old uh condo I rent it out right so I was renting to a guy his business was
he handled the credit card
transactions for the weed places for the dispensaries and stuff and you know
the bank shut him down and
this and he didn't pay the rent like and I was like I got the only guy in the
weed business who can't make
money like I'm renting to there's one guy in weed who can't I was like listen
man I take cash just pay the
rent like like how do you you're selling weed everybody's buying it selling
weed on credit
cards and you can't pay your rent how did I end up with this guy loser people
are flying here to get
some weed yeah they tour now they tour now and and my guy nothing you know who
really took it on the
fucking chin is Amsterdam remember when people were talking about going to
Amsterdam let's go to Amsterdam
get high yeah you can get high here stupid right they still got hookers in
windows though that's
true they still got that that's true but who's been there before you if you can
just see the line of
if you see of like a video montage of all the guys coming into this yeah like
just over the last couple weeks Joe just ruined Amsterdam tourism yeah the
Amsterdam tourist board is
like why is he picking on us what did we well they have good fights over there
but they
fucked up when they made uh mushrooms illegal they they stopped uh people from
selling mushrooms in
the cafes now is that because it's why would they do i don't understand why
they would do that because
i was going to say it's something that they can't regulate but no it's dorks go
over there and blow
their brains out they eat too many mushrooms and freak out and try to jump in
the river and you know yeah
that's what it is it's dorks it's always dorks they ruin everything yeah you
know it's one of those
it's weird it's weird to me because it's like listen if you can't get a handle
on your drug tourism
you know just don't do it but i don't know it could be done correctly i think
if you want to do drug
tourism correctly first of all you need to check people make sure they're okay
find out what kind
of medication they are and like do a blood test on them find out what kind of
medication oh look you're
on ssris you didn't even tell us hey stupid you're not supposed to take this
stuff right this is going to
fuck you up next you know and really really test them then you know find out
about their psychological
history and start them off with a nice light dose today today's tuesday today
we're going to give a
nice light dose like a half a gram we're just going to see how you react that
would be it just just you
know this is how much you get and see how you react exactly and then then come
back on wednesday
right you think about it for 24 hours you come back on wednesday and wednesday
we're going to give you
two grams yeah let's see what's up gotta cut you off yeah and then you come
back on saturday and you get
that five grand yeah just do it right with doctors nearby and ivs filled with
vitamins
i'm sure that's why they don't because who's going to pay for all of that part
dorks you know the same dorks
i'm sure people would pay if you had like uh if you could save up your money
and have
like a real safe mushroom trip like a legit safe mushroom trip at a medical
institution where they've
got everything locked down and everybody's safe and the mushrooms are safe and
yeah people would
pay a few hundred bucks for that well i haven't i haven't done mushrooms but
would that ever no you
want to try no no thanks man you know i'm retired man you know that from
everything yeah yeah yeah but
yeah we talked about this like when did you retire uh 88 wow yeah that's crazy
yeah i mean you
don't get the itch no no i you know i've been high enough that i don't feel
like i'm missing anything
so when you talk about it it's like fascinating to me but that but then there's
also that case of like
now like i don't want to be that high you know what i mean but and again i i
don't knock what anyone
else does but this is what i wanted to ask you if you did it under those
medically supervised
conditions would it still be as much fun yeah it's fun no ma