Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1351 - Dan Aykroyd
Uploaded: 2019-09-13T01:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1351 - Dan Aykroyd' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1351 - Dan Aykroyd' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-09-13. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1351 - Dan Aykroyd

And we're live with Dan Aykroyd cutting oranges and doing a podcast at the same
time.
Yes, it's kind of like walking from the tightrope between two buildings,
chewing gum and looking up at the ceiling.
Have you ever heard of the guy who, he was a tightrope walker at the turn of
the century, and he was very famous.
I forget, as he was a French guy, he walked over Niagara Falls several times.
I know who you're talking about, yeah.
He was a French tightrope walker, and one of the things he did, Joe, was one
morning he said,
I'm going to do this, but I'm going to take my manager on my back, I'm going to
take a small stove,
and I'm going to cook him breakfast in the middle of the falls, right over the
falls.
Oh, shit.
And this is recorded of him having, can you imagine the manager, you know, the
conversation there?
Okay, you're going to climb on my back, we're going to the middle of the falls,
I'm going to make you breakfast.
I love you, I love handling you, but no, really, I have to do this?
So, he took his manager on the back, out to the falls, cooked him eggs right
there, and then walked to the other end of the falls with a stove, his manager
all on his back.
This is like, you know, these are feats that we hear about.
Did he cook in the middle?
He cooked in the middle of the falls, he cooked eggs and I think flapjacks, and
all while handling his manager on his back and handling the stove and the whole
thing.
Oh, there's the images there.
There he is.
There he is, there, there, there's the manager, look.
Oh, my goodness.
Yeah, isn't that funny?
Where's he cooking?
Yeah, Blonde, that was his name, yeah.
I want to see him cooking.
Yeah.
They must have had a photo.
They've got a wheelbarrow up there?
Yeah, yeah, a wheelbarrow, he had the manager on his back.
There he is, the manager on the back, you see, taking him across.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
That's how you earn your keep as a manager.
I know, and I don't know whether, there, there he is, look at the table and the
chairs.
Yeah, yeah, so that's what we're kind of up to here today, and I know, when I
came in,
I saw the beautiful bow equipment and all your workout equipment.
I was going to bring my pinball gun so I could bounce them off your stomach,
but, you know.
You have a pinball gun?
What is a pinball gun?
Well, I'm just making it up here.
I know you've got a hard stomach there, and I could just see them bounce off.
But, and I said, you know, Joe, do you have a knife for the oranges?
And I knew you'd have a really nice, sharp hunting knife, and he hauls this out,
and here it is.
Tuck more custom knives.
Oh, it's beautiful, beautiful.
Where are they out of?
I don't know, it was a gift from my friend Donnie Vincent, brought it in for me.
Yeah, a thousand people died going over Niagara Falls, many of them suicides,
and many of them, you know, just, just that, that went over in rafts,
and that kid Roger who went over in a life jacket, and kids in, and people in
barrels
who were actually intending to go over the falls and wanted to float down that
far.
One guy survived.
A guy in the life jacket survived, and a couple of them in the barrel survived.
But the tribe of the Niagara Indians who lived at the, of the indigenous
natives who lived
at the bottom of the falls, were overweight.
And why were they overweight?
Because they didn't run through the forest hunting.
They took all of the meat that came through the Niagara River and went over the
falls and
was dashed at the bottom of the falls.
The bears, the wolves, the moose, all of them who drowned in the falls, all
this wildlife,
and they just harvested the meat off the rocks at the bottom of the falls.
Oh, so they would just wait.
They would just wait, exactly, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
How many things get stuck?
That would seem like you'd be waiting a lot.
Man.
40 people every year fall over, so.
Every year right now?
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
40?
But I love upstate New York.
I love upstate New York.
It's gorgeous.
I love Niagara Falls, New York.
It's beautiful architecture from the 30s and stuff.
Yeah.
It's so neat up there.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a gorgeous part of the country.
Do you mind if I make a non-addedive vodka drink here for us?
Yeah.
This is your vodka company, and you base it, I know you are a huge fan of
extraterrestrials,
and one of the things I'm very excited to talk to you about is that, but this
is.
Sure, I brought you a book on all that, yeah.
Cool.
This is based on the crystal skulls, right?
Well, yeah, the package is based on the crystal heads because we wanted to sell
the idea of purity,
and you can see it's a nice, smiling, little, happy little skull.
It was designed by John Alexander, the great Texas artist.
Here's our, this is our wheat version.
We have corn in here.
We have wheat in here, and there's no cleaner vodka, I must say, on the planet.
We go to great lengths to make this a clean product.
Not only is the bottle beautiful, but the unique fluid inside is what has got
us to 70 countries,
over 50 million bottles sold.
We've won 12 gold medals.
We won the Predexpo in Moscow for excellent taste out of 400 beverages.
And what we do is we take peaches and cream corn from Chatham, Ontario, and we
put it in the truck in the mash,
and we ship it 95% alcohol volume at that point, and we take it over, and we
put it in the ferry boat,
and we bring it over at the distillery in Newfoundland, Canada, the last, one
of the last state-owned stills in the world.
And why are we there?
Because the water from the original Wisconsin Glacier is under Newfoundland.
So water is, vodka is an old Russian word for water.
Is it really?
Yeah, and great vodkas have sweet water.
I'm just going to, I want you to just take a sip, and then I'm going to make a
nice crystal drop.
But just, here's our notes here.
Cheers, sir.
Just a sip.
Yeah, cheers.
Yeah, indeed.
Hey, to our daughters.
To everybody's daughters.
Daughters and sons and daughters.
Everybody, sons, daughters, mothers.
It's very good sweetness, sweet vanilla dry crisp with a kick of heat off the
finish are our notes from Anthony Dias Blue.
We take that to the distillery in Newfoundland.
We use the water there.
We do not add flavor packs.
Flavor packs are added to lesser vodkas.
That's glycerides, sugars, terpenes, and we put them, they put them in these
packages, and they put them into the vodka.
We eliminated all of that, and we have no additives at all.
This is C2H506, just absolute ethyl alcohol, grain alcohol, purified, distilled
in a carbon filtration system, not the one with the hose where they just blow
it through.
No, we distill and we filter, and we pour it over Herkimer diamonds.
Diamonds?
Yep.
You pour it over diamonds?
We do.
We pour it over the Herkimer semi-precious stone, and the Herkimer semi-precious
stone is one of our last purification processes.
Now, if you asked a high school professor, what does pouring alcohol over
diamonds do to the alcohol, they'd probably say, well, nothing, but our stones,
after certain pours, a certain number of pours, they turn yellow, and we have
to bleach them, clean them, or replace them.
The Herkimer diamond is found in an anomalous area of upstate New York, also in
Afghanistan, and in Oaxaca, Mexico.
They're found, they're little semi-precious double-ended crystals, and people
love the taste of the vodka poured over the stones.
Now, is there a chemical reaction that causes the stones to turn yellow, or is
it?
You know, again, you'd have to sit with a chemistry professor and say, why does
the alcohol turn the crystals yellow?
Is it doing anything?
Is it purifying it?
We've done flavor profiles where we pour it over the stones and give it to
people, and we don't pour it over the stones and give it to the people, and
they like it better poured over the stones.
Now, why I like the Herkimer diamond is, of course, because it's near Griffiths
Air Force Base, Rome, New York.
Dun, dun, dun.
Yeah, I know, and that was where a lot of scrambles went up in the 70s and 80s
against whatever was coming and going in the mountains there, Pine Bluff, you
know, or Pine Bush, New York.
UFO folklore.
Pine Bush, yeah, Pine Bush, New York.
So, I thought, this is great.
Herkimer diamonds from that area associated with ETs, the Navajo, the Aztec,
the Anasazi, they said that these skulls came down to them from the star
children.
They were given to them as scrying devices to help the tribe move forward, to
give positive energy to the tribe.
And so, I thought, perfect tie-in.
We pour our vodka over Herkimer diamonds.
We're tied in a little to the extraterrestrial legend there with the skull, and
it's the neat kind of bow to our product.
But the most important thing is that, you know, the fluid in the bottle matches
the beauty of the bottle, and the bottle is to sell the idea of purity and
enlightened thinking, enlightened drinking, which was what these skulls were
made for.
Gosh, it's good even without the orange juice.
Dan Aykroyd, you might be the greatest salesman that's ever lived.
I'm sold.
This is another one, folks.
I don't know if you could see this.
For people listening, you definitely can't.
But if you're looking at it on YouTube, this is an absolutely gorgeous bottle
with artwork all over it.
This really cool design.
There's all these little skeletons, and it's hard to tell because it's kind of
abstract, a lot of the stuff in it.
Well, that's John Alexander's work.
He loves skulls and skeletons and that kind of stuff.
This is gorgeous.
And Day of the Dead stuff.
And so, you know, he painted that up.
He's one of my oldest friends, and we met because I worked on Saturday Night
Live, and my girlfriend there was Rosie Schuster, one of the writers.
And, you know, we fell in love, and we had a great time and wrote the show.
We wrote Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute, and a lot of other things.
And then I went away to do Blues Brothers, and she said, I'm breaking up with
you.
And I said, well, for what or for who?
Well, I met this artist, John Alexander.
So she dumped me for him, and now we're best friends, and we'd like to find
Rosie again.
No, no, no, no.
She dumped me for – and he went on to get married and do other stuff.
But, yeah, that's how we met.
So it's kind of an interesting friends, creative friend.
So we are the Vodka for the Creative Spirit.
It comes from two artists, a writer, him, an artist, a graphic artist and
designer and painter and sculptor.
So, you know, millennials love us because there's an OBS story on our purity.
We are a pure story.
We're a story about fun and about enlightened drinking in moderation, of course.
And we are a story about quality.
And so I think people are buying it.
We have a lot of female demographic there because of the cleanliness, because
we don't have the additives in it.
And, you know, we just take the trouble to make this product in a special way.
How long have you been doing this?
This is about 11 years.
We're in 70 countries and doing really, really well with it.
Because people are getting the story that it's not only the bottle, it's what's
in the bottle.
You get it at BevMo, Total Wines, ABC Liquor.
Bars all over the world have it now.
And, yeah, they like the no additive story.
Sure.
Yeah.
It's, you know, it's a little more expensive in retail, but it works out to
about 37 cents a drink more.
If you have 25 drinks in a bottle, you buy that bottle.
It's, you know, you're paying a little more for the quality and for the package,
but you don't have to pay too much more for a drink.
It's like 37 cents more.
If the average drink in bars, we say, we sell it for like maybe seven bucks a
shot or say nine bucks a shot, seven for, you know, two for 14 and three for 21.
You're all losing people in the weeds here.
This is very delicious, though.
I'm not a vodka guy.
I generally like whiskey because I like to know what's happening.
The thing about vodka is it's so smooth, and this is very delicious and smooth.
Like, before you know it, you're fucked up.
With whiskey, I fe