Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1359 - Roseanne Barr
Uploaded: 2019-10-03T01:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1359 - Roseanne Barr' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1359 - Roseanne Barr' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-10-03. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1359 - Roseanne Barr

can't do much more to me can they well joe it's so great to see you great to
see you too
i love the sunglasses they're pretty slick coolest these are okay i thought i
was getting
the coolest ones but then my friends who were shopping with me they came
running back and
they're like uh-uh uh-uh don't pay yet don't pay yet honey take a look at these
and i looked
and there's a separation like between the frame right see you want to look okay
i did my own
eye makeup so it's a mess i couldn't get anybody to fix my makeup today what's
the benefit of the
separation it's art just looks dope yeah you got a little bit of brow peeping
through i see see i
like them a lot they're very cool and look at the pink or flesh or whatever you
call this that's my
color i like the bracelet too the pink one that's jamming one it's pretty dope
i've had it for a long
long time like phyllis diller i just collect weird costumes you know yeah and
just wear them in the
house but i decided to start wearing them out more now i like it yeah it works
you can pull it off for
sure i like the hair now too you're all blonde now hells yeah yeah i'm all
going rockstar now because i'm
like okay well you know whatever okay nothing can ever stop me because i'm a
comic right right nothing
can stop us nothing because we have some weird dna bend that we just have to
get the last
laugh right we have to get the laugh and so i have to i'm just glad you're back
to stand up too
i'm i'm really really excited about that i don't know about that it wasn't
sparking joy as that woman
says she says if you're doing anything in your life that is not sparking joy
then it who said that that
that lady that tells you to throw out your clothes that don't spark joy oh she
like a minimalist lady
uh i don't know she's on the internet okay she's really helped me because i'm a
hoarder yeah me too
a little bit you can tell by this desk i got a lot of knickknacks and stuff to
save yeah
i uh but you were you saying that stand-up wasn't sparking joy yeah when it
wasn't sparking joy in the
past yeah in the last few you know in a while because i'm so nervous it's like
oh my god i get so nervous
because i i don't really know i don't really know anymore you know i don't
really the funny moved
i see what you're saying yeah yeah yeah yeah it does and um like i was saying i
need a line one
killer line one killer opening line that encapsulates the entire year i've just
lived through right right
i need that kind of a line or it's not going to work for me you know because
everybody knows something
happened sure yeah and i just don't talk about it that much besides calling
everybody a
and you know do you ever work with writers like stand-up writers yeah no i want
to but all my friends
are dead oh my co-writing comic friends are dead i'm sure we moved to israel
and became chabad you know
who would be great who tony hinchcliffe who's that is that it's hilarious how
old he's a great comic
he's 36 oh that's a good age yeah 35 36 oh he's really funny really he sees
things fantastic joke
writer and he writes for roasts all the time he's a big roast writer yeah i
love roast yeah i would love
to connect you with i would love that if you would you know coalesce your
thoughts you know you know uh the
comics are the the comics that like me you know push this mic up to you a
little closer to you there we
go the comics that like me everybody likes you wow i know that comics do yeah
the comics well some don't
like me but they're silly yeah well some's and they're gonna they're looking
for a smackdown i say
this every day when the day comes they will get their smack down from me joe
and it will not be like no
smackdown they've ever had before in their privileged little lives this will be
you're
you're gonna raise your kids on welfare when i'm done with your ass whoa kind
of thing because i was
raised on welfare i was as well were you yeah well until we were like 13 14
yeah did you get the
government cheese we did we didn't get the government cheese my dad used to
take that whole five pound brick
of cheese you know my dad was the greatest comic really yeah but crazy like
never knowing when to
stop because it stops being funny at a certain point right yeah but keep
pushing it and pushing it
till somebody slaps you down like yeah it's that dna thing that comics have it's
bad it is bad like my
friend sue mangers remember her joe sue mangers i do know the name yeah well
she was on that kinder
kinder whatever it was where they moved these jewish children from germany to
england
kinder sport or something and uh you know to save them and she was one of those
and uh her dad was a
comic in germany and it's just so it's so weird how things go round and round
and we'll get to what
we're going to talk about today but her dad was a comic in germany you know
real funny real popular
and uh hitler came and took over and he kept on telling the jokes you know he
was telling the jokes
wherever he went every little club doing the jokes and he was warned don't you
know switch up your joke
man if you want to keep working switch that joke up to be you know not what you're
saying you know
and he wouldn't do it and she said he even got louder and he was arrested and
of course
murdered in auschwitz but she lived and she said i said what what would you say
to your dad now
she said you know at a certain point it stops being funny do something
different you know don't be
don't write it to the destructo don't go all the else way over you know try
stay in the middle
don't destruct yourself for comedy isn't that the problem with some comics
though like we don't
really know where the line is until you cross it and then you go oh i up across
the line
but you're just trying to be funny and that's that's something that i think
that non-comics don't
really understand when when a comic up makes a mistake they're just trying to
be funny they're not
trying to be mean and they just missed they missed and it happens all the time
because you're creating
you know you're ad-libbing you're you're you're basically improvising and that's
a lot of what
comedy is is improvising a line and trying to say something and in the moment
you might think it's
funny but if you had more time to think about it you might have said oh i
shouldn't say it that way
people are gonna get it wrong or maybe i should re-correct myself but but that's
when you start being not
funny because self-censorship that's how they want us to be they want us to
like always be like should
i say this or shouldn't i say this and you know just like her dad there in germany
you know should
i say this or should i say that or instead of i guess the more intelligent of
us go how can i
say this and reach people yeah because you know the people are thinking just
like you because they're
people too but we're not ruled by people let's really get into it now okay let's
get into it who
we're ruled by artificial intelligence all already uh-huh has been it's been an
experiment for almost
700 years 700 years yeah more did you see today joe it was the biggest news i've
ever seen in my life
that and i didn't get a chance to vet it you know so i really okay i'm not
going to say it but i did
please say it we'll vet it ourselves on the show okay i saw you know a lot of
these christians out
there i mean they're really connected in with the whole q thing have you
noticed that q and like q
anon is that what you're saying just q what is q seven explain to people what
does that mean 17 17 like
the letter q uh-huh and that means eight and then you reduce that down to two
and reduce it to one
you know it's a mystical thing oh so it's like like a numerology type yeah
everything's numbers
right and everything is like appreciating the numbers and that's why i told you
there's this
whole process to smoking a cigar you don't just go like this you gotta you have
to sense it smell it
hold it i believe i'll have a light now joe okay thank you dang i love cigars
oh no one's gonna get mad at me for giving you a cigar are they
no no you're okay with that yeah because you don't inhale oh okay yeah there
you go i can't i just can't
do cigarettes you know but i'm going to start on cigars because they last a
hell a lot longer than
a cigarette and they never go out you smoke about half of one per day when did
you stop with the
cigarettes because last time you were here you were chain smoking chain smoking
i smoked three three packs
you were smoking three packs a day and this was right after all the went down
and
yeah i needed a smoke screen between myself and the world that's what my
psychic counselor said
do you have a psychic count well it's my daughter but she's a psychic counselor
i'm sorry no worries
and so so they say like that the youth oh see they're on another wavelength
that's a good idea
though to have like a smoke screen or glasses like glasses kind of feel like
that to me sometimes
like if i have sunglasses on i feel like i can like maneuver through crowds
better of course you can
because you're protecting your eyeballs because everything is goes through your
eyes like those
things those worms that they got now they go right for your eyes you know what
i'm talking about right
oh jamie does he's all about let's see how schooled you are in this well let's
go back to the 700 year
ai thing first i don't want to lose that we've been ruled by artificial
intelligence for 700 years
go probably longer just like since the days of babylonia well it's babylon it's
all babylon
babylon chant down babylon you know it's babylon like yeah that's like iraq
right sumer mesopotamia
that whole part of the world well that it's not really a part of the world so
much as it's part
of the brain and the memory now where was because it's changed now was it it's
over there somewhere
in the bible as they say right it's in the bible i just don't exactly know what
part of the world
it's the middle east iraq okay yeah and iran what a crazy part of the world you
know i mean what an
amazing history that part of the world has it's just a shame yeah still is
having as per my tweet which
was mischaracterized by people of low intellect is what i'm saying now instead
of idiot i don't say that
anymore uh now i say those of lower intellect is like you know what i think big
part was about iran
and the people's fight in iran of which i so uh i'm so thrilled and supportive
for the people the
working people of iran who want to overthrow their ruling class molas who you
know control the way they
think do and say in every aspect particularly for women and that's getting
ready to go and i hope trump
helps push that a little bit further too because everybody wants freedom now
from hong kong to
terror the hong kong riots are insane they're but they're i can't believe what's
going on the strength
of the human spirit it blows me away well they've been riding for so long now
yeah i mean it's not
slowing down at all 17 weeks of riding that is crazy 17. everything's something
everything you'll find
out sooner it's just in the airline so is 11. did you ever notice that about 11
every time you look at
your clock it's something 11. right a lot of what does that mean i don't know
it just is i don't know
what it means just look at my watch and it's always like more times than not
something 11. what does it
mean to you though just that hey there's something going on oh okay just like a
look at that there's
a pattern to this i don't know it's just there again right there it is it's
like something
synchronicitous synchronicity is that a word i hope it is synchronicity it is
now put it in the
dictionary urban dictionary trademark that that's the beautiful thing about
urban dictionary right you
can just like god i love it right and i love making up words me too i never
have though i don't
think i made one up but i like it when other people do i've words up before but
i never stuck with them
synchronicities yeah that's legit thank you thank you so mu