Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1401 - Iliza Shlesinger
Uploaded: 2019-12-17T04:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1401 - Iliza Shlesinger' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1401 - Iliza Shlesinger' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-17. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1401 - Iliza Shlesinger

and the first sound is a slurp
hello eliza it's a cozy morning what's going on my friend it is kind of cozy
right
for california it's like a little chill in the air makes you feel like there's
real weather here
it does like we're in a normal place yeah normal place with normal people like
where things change
like you get a winter and a summer and a spring yeah we get a slight chill and
we're like oh my
it's real with the season changing though nobody ages like it's still that perennial
somewhere
between 20 to 45 year old nobody ages what do you mean everybody in la like
there's like this nebulous
age where it's like behavior wise and everything like you're somewhere between
25 and 45 and then
on either side of that you're too old or too young but like everybody is this
kind of like just you
can act like a child here that's an interesting observation it's totally true
right because they
don't have the responsibility of having to like shovel snow and prepare for the
winter
and get up and scrape your windshield because there's ice on it or prepare for
life like you
could be like 40 a 45 year old dude and you're like i do improv and i have a
roommate and girls
are like awesome like are they really like awesome totally really what girls
none that i know but
yeah none of you're someone's fucking you think so other girls that are like
that that's what who's
fucking other people that there's like a there's you know there's certain
people that we know well
okay let's not even say we know that we've run into in our life that are on
this show business path
and they are fucked and you know they're like like a stampeding herd of buffalo
that are headed for
a cliff yeah and there's no way out you're not good you're either going to get
some kind of a job
and you're going to be bitter and angry or you're you're just going to keep
doing this forever and
it's never going to happen i feel like with comedy in particular it's one of
those careers where
it's not even you fail upward you just fail laterally like comedy is one of
those things
where you can kind of just continue to exist in and around it despite actual
talent right we all know
the comics where it's like you're not dead yet they're like no i'm i'm writing
ads that go on the
back of tickets i'm writing commercial parodies for like comedy.net like just
right existing in
subdivisions of the realm of comedy and they think that they're in the game but
really they're in the
parking lot well then there's a weird ones that come to the store and they come
to the improv and
they hang out but they don't really go up ever i don't understand that i don't
understand the myth
of the hang the idea is that you would be hanging if you don't know anyone you
want to meet some new
friends or your friends are there but i see people that just bob and weave and
i'm like and they act
like they're looking for someone i'm like there's no one there you're just here
hoping someone talks
to you but you've been doing this for so long go home write something yeah but
it's not gonna happen
comedy is one of those things like i feel like you could learn how to play
music someone can teach
you how to move your fingers in the right direction i mean you might never be jimmy
hendrix you might
never be some virtuoso who's like stands out but you might get good at music if
you could put the
practice in could learn the math of it comedy's not that uh my college emerson
college offers now
offers shout out to boston shout out who offers a comedy major and good luck
with that right i'm
like you're either funny or you're not and you can learn what makes a script
funny and you can learn
about timing and things but you have it innately or you don't you know i firmly
believe that i do too
and uh the amount of people you know you can't tell someone there are plenty of
people who aren't
naturally funny that make a huge career out of things you know because someone
else unfunny finds them
but it's one of those things where i'm not going to be the one to tell you to
give up on your dream
like that's not my position to tell someone that but you're constantly
surrounded by these like it's
almost like this walking dead of unfunny like they're just at the shows and
they're just there
for decades of your life yeah it's hard sometimes they'll ask me to get on the
podcast too and i'll be
what are you saying what do you say i don't know you don't you say no you're
very good i remember
watching you i've told you this before we were at the store one time and there's
this um because
you're so alpha like a proper and i say this to you every time i see you like a
proper definition of
one and i think that like a real alpha male it doesn't seek to disempower doesn't
seek to make
anybody else feel bad like you're just like this is what i do and i set my
boundaries and we were in
that back outside bar where only comics are allowed and this guy walked up to
you do you remember this
and he was a little bit in your space harmless he was like oh joe can i get a
picture and you
firm you were like you cannot be back here you've got to go well i saw him weasel
through he came
from the show and then went through the back kitchen area and then went to it's
happened a few times where
people know that we hang out back there because we talk about it on the podcast
we go back there to
smoke and then all of a sudden they'll be like me and you know callan or
whoever and you
and comics just talking about sets like are you doing triple e show like what's
going on not cool
stuff folks and then all of a sudden someone's right here like hey man hey what's
up hey dude
can i get a picture you're like you're not supposed to be back there's a sign
you said that i don't
know that it's like we all i put my foot down for certain things and of course
as you get older
you get better about it but i straight up i don't know that i could say that to
someone
i i allow people in my space and i'm like you kind of just tolerate it because
you never know
and there's that fear like what is this person but you were very like you can't
be here and the
guy was like oh so sorry well i'm happy to take a picture with somebody but i
would i knew that
that guy had gotten into the employees area he he had weaseled his way back
through yeah i don't
yeah but you did that and i remember watching and i was like fuck i don't know
that i could have you
could do it the problem is with women like men get really fucking creepy men
get really shitty with
women if a woman says you can't be here you know who knows you who knows what
kind of a man you're
dealing with we can bring i can i can speak to that yeah and i also remember i
was on your podcast
forever ago and uh i had done this show and i brought up this thing i get a lot
of incels uh
instagramming me about this because this guy came into our group was a group of
women standing
outside and he asked for a lighter oh yeah i remember this and all of the betas
uh you got
a lot of great fans but on the fringe ones they were like oh don't ask her for
a lighter and i'm
like tell you what when someone bigger and stronger than you that has the
ability to hurt you comes
into your personal space not really wanting a lighter wanting something else
and your sensors go off
make sure that you stay silent see how great you feel i don't think there's any
respect for the idea
that like sometimes you feel scared and it's not like a cry wolf thing like i'm
a tough chick i don't
walk around like afraid but every once in a while show me some knuckles tough
chick they're they're
all bloated from vodka last night it's like yeah there's a thing like someone
can do it the right
way like someone could say excuse me does do any of you ladies have a lighter
easily and that and then
he's like no sorry we don't smoke okay cool thank you but i've had it happen
where somebody they put
their energy and they get in that they're like who has a lighter and you're
like i don't think what
you want is a lighter uh and i stand by that decision um it's all context i
think so but it's
so it's a technicality right and it's like okay so if you want to have white
power night at the laugh
factory you just have to cut jamie a check so we're going to take over the
place i think my biggest
issue will be cutting jamie a check
but i also you know listen we have white power night love to have you in but
you're not white
power white powder open mic night there are no jokes everyone is fully erect
buddy everybody already
did see kyle you can't do see have you been banned from there no okay because i
was yeah i know
yeah but well i was your first guest on your podcast that you were doing out of
there i know
and you were and that was so cool of you because it was a podcast there's no
money in it there was
you know but you were a friend like i didn't get any like it was a dinky
podcast run in the attic of
the laugh factory and when you decided to leave the laugh factory as a venue
for your podcast you wanted
to expand jamie said buddy you can no longer do your sieg heil in my club to
the two jews yeah he yelled
at me and uh this was four years ago he yelled i i was offered my podcast this
is it's an old podcast
to run it out of the improv and so i called jamie and i said i uh i got offered
my podcast somewhere
else and i'm going to take it there i just wanted to because they had set up a
whole podcast studio the
uh levity yes yeah they set it up they're like come over here we'll get you
advertisers we'll like
we'll produce this because the laugh factory they would put it up but that was
it there was no
business behind it and i was fine with that i wasn't trying to make money
improv asked me over
there i go okay great so man to man i called jamie i just want to say you know
man to man man to man
i talked to him like a man whoa i called him up and i said listen fucker no i
just said hey i just
want to let you know i've been offered to take my podcast somewhere else and i'm
going to take that
opportunity and i just want to give you the respect of telling you versus just
leaving absolutely no
problem you are family really and by the way i said no problem mm-hmm that's
why this is so insane
no problem you are family go ahead i'm making them sound russian uh but it's
like a weird accent
anyway so i go and keep in mind i was like the textbook picture employee they're
like i'm one of three
women that performed there regularly at the time like headlining women i baked
cookies for the
waitresses i would bust my hump to get there because they're there's times
where it was written in
stone like it's 8 45 can i get 8 50 i'm running no this is the time like i was
i never ran the light
like i was really respectful and uh like an hour later he calls me yelling at
me what you did not say
you are taking your podcast to levity which is the governing for those of you
know body that owns a
lot of the improvs and they're a huge thing but he told you told me you're
going to the improv i just
said i'm taking it elsewhere it didn't it didn't occur to me to say it but it
also levity's so big
it's like i didn't even think oh it's a competing thing i think of the factory
as a couple of clubs and
levity's more of like an enterprise yeah plus i don't play life factory clubs
right uh just yelling
at me acting like i did this duplicitous thing he hangs up on me hangs up on me
grown man uh and i
go on the website that night my name is taken down off all the shows i'm pretty
sure he removed my face
from that mosaic of comics outside i am persona non grata and so did i ever
tell you the conclusion of
this no it really hurt my feelings really and i'm the kind of person if you
shut a door in my face
i will nail it closed whoa and i call the laugh factory and all the girls that
are working there
and i said why didn't anyone like we're all cool like did no one even stand up
for me like i didn't
really do anything wrong and this one girl goes you know he's just really
stressed a lot of people a