Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1405 - Sober October 3 Recap
Uploaded: 2019-12-24T20:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1405 - Sober October 3 Recap' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1405 - Sober October 3 Recap' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-12-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1405 - Sober October 3 Recap

- You'll be fine.
- One cigar with a fucking gun for a week.
- Shut up, you'll be fine.
- Oh, you need your excuse.
- Boom, and we're live.
- Okay.
- So, the last few weeks,
we've been getting these annoying text messages
from Ari where everything's in Spanish.
- Everything.
- Everything.
I'm like, what is this,
how long is this joke gonna go?
- En escuela.
- And then he gets here with a backpack on,
like, where you been?
I was in Medellin.
- Medellin.
- He was, he was doing,
you were doing a Spanish immersion thing?
- Yeah, 100% Spanish.
I brought back these Cuban cigars.
- Wow.
- Yeah, in Colombia.
- So, did you have any Spanish-speaking lessons
before you went to Colombia?
- Cero.
You know what that means?
- It sounds like zero.
- It does sound like zero.
It's a pretty close language.
A lot of it's pretty close.
- So, zero?
- I had nothing.
- Cero is zero?
- Yo hablo español también, claro.
- All right, you also understand a little bit.
- Tom, you're doing a podcast in Spanish, right?
- Yeah, this is his Me Too back party.
Like, when Tom gets Me Too'd in America,
he's gonna go run to do shows down a lot of America.
This is his insurance policy.
- I'm setting up the escape plan right now, man.
- The other countries are like, what's the problem?
- The Latin countries would have no problem.
- Not at all.
I've had this conversation multiple times.
- That's about it.
- Now Latin people are like, me what?
- I don't know.
- They don't know.
- We were talking to his cousin who lives in Peru.
And he called his cousin, and there's a term Latinx,
which is not Latino or Latina.
It's, you know, it's--
- It's a gender neutral way of saying Latin.
- Yeah.
And he says to his cousin in Spanish, you know,
"Tu sabe Latinx?"
And he's like, "Oh, uh, maricon?"
- Yeah, he goes, he's like, I don't know what I'm saying.
- He goes, "What?"
And I'm like, you know, it's a gender neutral.
So you're saying, he goes, "Like a faggot?"
And I was like, you're like, "Come on."
- That's not exactly what I'm saying.
- My teacher, we were talking about like parents,
something like that, and there was like,
the word for parents is just like, fathers, pretty much.
So then it's like, what if you have two mothers?
Do you call it madres as parents?
Instead of like, you know, if it's just father, it's padre.
If it's just mother, it's madre.
But if it's parents, it's padres.
- Right.
- So I'm like, do you, if it's just a gay.
And they're like, she was like, no, still padres.
And then, you know, that's okay these days.
It's okay with her being as poor as she could be.
Like, that's fine though.
- Yeah.
- What country do you think is most in the dark ages
with wokeness?
- Russia.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, Russia, they make laws about gay people.
- They did for the Olympics.
- Iran has, according to their leader,
0% homosexual population.
- Yeah, Iran's worse than Russia
because Russia has people that are outside
of the control of the government
that are just freely speaking,
that are talking about homosexual problems
and like Pussy Riot.
Remember when Pussy Riot was getting-
- A lot of shit.
- Yeah.
- They're fucking hot.
- You like that?
- Yeah, I gotta think about that.
- Like I'm dirty.
- I think like the-
- Arrested chicks right out of jail.
- Russia don't fuck around, dude.
- No, they don't fuck around.
- They don't fuck around.
- At all.
You know, like you're, there's a kind of a,
I don't know, selling like a point from them
that it's, they're trying to be progressive thinkers.
Like some of them will like disguise it as that,
but they're definitely, they're not fucking around.
- Someone from Russia, some government agency
made a tweet about freedom of the press.
- What'd they say?
- About respecting the press
and appreciating the press.
And someone, some journal said,
this is a country that has literally,
like this administration has literally been responsible
for murders of dozens of people that are,
that are journalists.
- Yeah.
- Like when people would report on them
or people would running,
running against certain members of the government,
they would just whack them.
- Sure.
- Like in broad daylight.
- And even more disappearances,
which is slang for murders.
- Yeah.
- You know, like that person's just gone.
We haven't seen them.
- We just don't want to explain it.
So they, I don't know.
- I can't wait to go, to go back
and see how much it's changed.
Like the-
- Are you going back?
You were there.
- Oh, Jesus.
- They're going to kidnap you for sure.
- My kids were like, we want to go too.
I was like, fuck that.
But yeah, but to hang out with Russian guys
and ask them questions that I asked when I was in college.
Like I remember asking them about black people
and they were like, oh, no, no, no.
They don't, they can't be here.
- Roy Jones Jr. is a Russian citizen.
- Yeah, well, he got a pass.
- Roy Jones Jr.?
- He got a pass.
- No, like a legit Russian citizen.
- This was 1995, just to be fair.
- Yeah, really?
Yes.
Roy Jones Jr. has been going over to Russia for a long time.
He's a giant star over there.
They love him.
- Are you fucking serious?
- Oh.
- Totally serious.
- I'm thinking of Roy Woods.
Roy Woods.
- Roy Woods, a comic?
- Yeah, I'm like, what the, he's a fucking-
- Oh, how hilarious.
- Yeah, look at it, look at it.
Roy Jones Jr. with Putin.
- He looks like Putin's shaking his hand too hard.
He's trying to get it away.
- Mm, maybe, perhaps.
I don't think so.
But he's over there all the time.
He's got a fucking Russian passport.
That's legit.
- I'd like that, I'd like that.
- Listen, dude, they threw that triple-A punana at him.
That triple-A Russian punana.
- That's that smile.
- Look at him smiling.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he knows.
- He's fought over there a bunch of times too.
Fought over there fairly recently.
- How long are you gonna be there for, Brad?
- I don't know, just like probably two weeks, maybe.
I don't know, I haven't, it's, yeah.
- You gonna do shows?
- Yeah.
- I'm excited.
I'm gonna bring the film crew.
- Schultz did a bunch of shows there.
- Who did?
- Andrew Schultz.
- Did he in Russia?
- Yeah, yeah, he put it on, put some of it online.
It was hilarious.
- I bet, I bet Gaffigan has too.
He's done shows fucking everywhere.
- Everywhere.
- Has he?
- Nobody plays more places than Jim Gaffigan.
- Yeah, he just announced,
he's doing a Latin American tour.
- In English.
- In English, yeah.
- Of course.
- He goes everywhere, everywhere.
- Wow.
- Dude, what's the guy that ran 25 marathons in 25 days?
- Eddie Izzard?
- Eddie Izzard, it shows in German and doesn't speak German.
- He does that in French too.
- He just memorized the language.
He just memorized how the words would go.
- Whoa.
- Is that not funny?
I've been trying to tell the machine in Spanish,
and I know Spanish, but it's fucking still hard as fuck.
- Eddie Izzard is a savage.
Do you wanna know what it takes to run 26 marathons in a row
when you don't even run?
- Day after day?
- Day after day.
I mean, there's videos of it where they show his feet,
where he takes his socks off.
Literally, his skin is falling off the meat.
I mean, his skin is raw and open,
and they're taping it up and bandaging shit.
I mean, he can't even stand.
- And he's running.
- And he's running 26 miles every fucking day.
- That's a different mindset.
- Just from Will.
He's a really interesting guy.
Like I had him in on the podcast,
he's in full woman's regalia,
but he says, "But I fancy the ladies."
You know, he fancies girls.
Like he just likes dressing like a woman,
but he's a man.
- Yeah, and he speaks like four fluent languages.
- For a while too.
He dressed like that, then he stopped dressing like that.
- He does whatever the fuck he wants, man.
I love that guy.
I really like him too.
Like I really like talking to him.
He's interesting.
- He's a brilliant dude.
- A really smart dude.
- Yeah, but also like the kind of will that you have to have.
- Yeah, that's what stands out.
- Why would he do that?
- He's an animal.
- But he did, and he also wasn't a charity, right?
- Yeah.
- He did that, and then he did one in South Africa.
It was an area where he wanted to run.
Like, listen to me, if you run through there,
they're going to kill you.
Like you can't run through there.
We're going to pick you up in a car,
we're going to take you past that,
and then we're going to follow you in cars.
We can't even be with you in a car while you're running,
or they'll kill you.
- What?
In South Africa?
- Bro, there's parts of South Africa that are rough.
- Yeah, you think?
- Rough.
- I've been to those.
- Apparently like carjacking down there
is just out of fucking control.
Bro, we were in South Africa.
- There he is.
- We spent the night in a shantytown.
And I went in and I brought soccer balls.
I bought like 40 soccer balls for all the kids, right?
Because we were going to play soccer with them.
So I brought a big truck full of soccer balls.
It was on Travel Channel.
I roll in with like 40 fucking soccer balls,
and their coach loses his fucking mind.
Just shy of hitting me with a machete.
He's like, what the fuck are you doing?
You're going to give every kid that's in here a soccer ball?
He was going to all get fucking murdered on the way home,
because someone will kill them for their soccer ball,
and I was like, sorry.
And he was like, take them the fuck out of here.
So then we spent the night, right?
- Murdered for a soccer ball.
- Dude, it's a shantytown.
Soccer balls got value there.
Especially, think of all the, I mean,
we spent the night, we partied that night.
Some, one of the, it was like one of these.
- Wait a minute, this story just got weird.
- We were partying with the kids.
- No, no, no, no, we stayed in the shantytown.
- It was fucking crazy, dude.
It was like at a belly.
Like everyone's sweaty, everyone's dark, dark, dark.
I was fucking badass.
- Did you get malaria?
- No, I was on those pills.
I was dreaming crazy.
- Dreams.
- We woke up the next day, right?
I'm outside having coffee in my little shanty thing.
Guy comes sprinting down the street,
and a mob is chasing him.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
And our handler's like, oh yeah.
And I go, what?
And he goes, I heard about, he stole a pillow.
And I was like, he stole a pillow?
And I'm like, yeah, he stole a pillow.
Don't worry, they'll get him.
They're gonna necklace him.
I go, what?
And he goes, there's justice here.
They put a tire around his neck and light him on fire.
I go, for a fucking pillow?
I was like, all right, wrap it, we're done.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
I'm not spending another second here.
- Jesus.
- Why would you risk that for a pillow?
Just fold your arm under it.
- Have you ever had like a great pillow, though?
Like when they're, like an air memory?
- Air memory foam ones?
- Yeah, but they don't have too much give.
They're not too strong.
And you go like, I'm not leaving this pillow for shit.
- I'll take it back.
- If someone steals this pillow from me,
I'm lighting them on fire.
- I see both sides now.
- Yeah.
- Brazil was sketchy.
We went into the favelas in Brazil and got lost at sunset.
- What?
- What are you doing?
- It's a travel channel.
I just used to-- - Beautiful way to die.
- It was, we took motorcycles up.
We took motorcycles up and then we gave our,
we weren't taking them back down,
so we gave guys on motorcycles our helmets
and they were fucking through the roof.
And as soon as we gave them our helmets,
you could see their attitude change.
And they were like, don't stay up here.
And we're like, what?
And they're like, don't, no matter what they say,
don't stay up here, we're gonna spend the night.
- In the favelas?
- In the favelas, yeah.
They have a great, they have a great,
there's one favela--
- Five star luxury hotel?
- No, they have a great hotel in the favela
that like, man, someone would know,
if you had done this traveling, you'd remember more.
I don't remember shit about Travel Channel.
Because we were doing so much different shit.
- And you were drunk.
- Y