Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1420 - Mark Normand
Uploaded: 2020-01-31T20:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1420 - Mark Normand' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1420 - Mark Normand' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-01-31. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1420 - Mark Normand

ladies and gentlemen mark norman hey hey try did your thing come unplugged no
no i'm all good it
just isn't as long as i hoped which i've heard before but uh yeah no we're good
we're gonna get
new uh things with a box and like a little wallet yeah we're gonna make it like
a real radio show
finally this thing's been slacking yeah i know that's what i've been saying man
just this this
little box right here that controls the volumes is just too complicated nobody
can figure out where
the dial is for their thing it's prehistoric too that looks looks aged does it
yeah it's a little
weathered hmm it's probably from all the weed smoke patina that's what they
call it patina patina is
that your maid no patina is like uh the surface of an old car when it has kind
of like or maybe a knife
that's been kind of like slightly rusted you know a little wear and tear yes
yes people enjoy a patina
ah yes like a fine wearing of a a nice object like a milf is a patina a little
bit yeah have a little
bit of patina i like a milf i like a crow's foot and a old labia uh you name it
yeah girl likes to do
shots yeah yeah like a tampa whore you know tampa yeah i was just there yeah
did you do the improv
with the three floors no that that room stinks i did the uh the side splitters
oh that's supposed
to be a really good room great room mom and pop been there forever you know
richard jenny's photos
on the wall and all that that kind of place god he's that that guy he's one of
my all-time favorites
that uh tampa improv does it still have the three floors yeah yeah it's the
third floor is like
10 seats yeah ybor city everybody's hammered it's it's like bourbon street down
there it's
not great for comedy last time i was there which is quite a while ago i got
introduced by someone who
wanted to uh i want to introduce you to the local swinger community oh yeah the
people that are like
really into swinging in tampa are not people anybody wants to have sex with
right they find each other
and they all just no one gives a you her i'll her i'll him you me did you did
you look at
them like a lineup kind of thing it was like 20 of them that came to the show
how not one
weirdo i mean listen things can get ugly when you get hammered of course
they weren't in the best of shape they didn't uh they didn't seem like they
were concerned about
with the way they looked like they just they just got together and just
everybody everybody
everybody everybody see that might be the ruse i think they they know they're
ugly they want to get
laid it's a perfect uh crime yeah yeah yeah so yeah it's a smart move you get
into a club
yeah it's happened to me a couple times or somebody's one time nashville this
one guy
was driving us around all weekend and then sunday the day he's taking us to the
airport
he's like uh well he goes uh it's really nice to meet you guys next time you
guys are here
uh i'd love to take you to a swingers club i was like and we were both i think
i was with hinchcliffe
and we're both like what yeah and he's like yeah well uh you know just uh that's
one of the things
that i do i'm in uh sort of an open relationship with my woman so then we
started questioning like
do you do you always do you do you get a chance to like see the guy she's gonna
bang he goes yeah
yeah and uh i also have uh veto power oh wow yeah but but of course they want
to bring you in because
he's the hero if he brings in the celeb and then you get to bang the wife they
probably got headshots
on the wall of all the other guys who there he was not telling me to he's like
saying if you want to come watch oh come hang out i think that would be worth
it i would get some
popcorn and go nuts popcorn a operating mask yeah exactly like a coronavirus asian
yeah some
rubber gloves used to wash dishes with like what what am i doing here what am i
touching yeah yeah
maybe a laser pointer just to with them yeah they had well they used to have
those i've never been to
an actual sex club in la but a buddy of mine has been to one and he said they
you know you go into
this room and all these there's like weird red lights red light bulbs and
everybody's banging
everybody yeah well do you ever watch those dancing bear videos no oh man pull
it up he's gonna he's
gonna get wood i can't pull it it's uh called cfn cfnm clothed female naked
male and it's so hot
because it's the woman in charge and it's a bunch of dude strippers who come in
with bear hats on like
bear masks and they're in a speedo and they just start dancing eventually they're
getting blown they're
fucking the uh the chicken from accounting and banging deborah from sales and
it's like kind of
oh mediocre looking women getting railed by these studs really great because
they like it
and uh they keep the masks on oh yeah so why do the guys keep the masks on well
it's just because
it's uh anonymous it's hotter it's just a a object oh right so the woman can
like flip the switch and
yes and detach and just enjoy the physical pleasure of it and it's like a bachelorette
party or an office party or something and it's it's killer it's always in a
like an office setting or
something she doesn't have to look in the eye of the the man and feel shame and
weirdness yeah and
when the women are turned on it's so much hotter you know because all we see
all day is like dudes
like come on let me fuck you but when the woman's taking charge it's it's
better you feel you feel
better about your what you're watching yeah they get jaded though i used to
know some guys from
martial arts that used to do male stripping and they get real jaded they get
really yeah they get
real weirded out by it after a while that makes sense women screaming at you
yeah a lot of
ladies looking to cheat on their man right right and maybe the first day it's
fun but after a while
you're like ah and then this is somebody's aunt the other thing comes is that
guys want to hire them
guys want to hire them to strip and then they have to make these decisions like
okay
how much do i let them don't let them touch my butt that's it it's funny when
gay guys around a
guy turns into like the woman he's like hey respect me yeah you know yeah the
roles are reversed well it's
it's it's all guys right guys being a problem it's it's always guys yeah it's
always guys being a
problem you should see my dms man it's just ball sacks and really jerking and
gay dudes like hot
dudes sometimes we're just like hey the things i would i would drain your
asshole and this and that
oh yeah i i find it flattering why do you think they're going after you i think
i got a twinkie otter
vibe you know otter that's one of those gay terms they got otter bear i knew
about bear yeah there's a
bunch the jmo you know them all
there's a whole like zoo what's a zot what's an otter it's like a thin medium-sized
guy oh you're
a medium-sized guy like the little guy would be like a twink i don't know what
brad williams would
be he'd be like a like a hershey's kiss or something koala bear there you go
yeah he does have chlamydia
but um yeah so they got bears have chlamydia all of them yeah true story google
imagine if that's
where chlamydia came from somebody had to fuck a koala bear well apparently we
got aids from a monkey
so maybe koala gave us chlamyd do you know where that actually comes from it's
not from someone
fucking a monkey there's a bite no it was of someone who hunted a monkey hand
job no cut the monkey and
cut his hand and got monkey blood in his hand while he was like butchering a
monkey oh that makes more
sense yeah yeah because who's fucking a monkey it would dave chappelle had a
bit about it 100 infection
rate 100 wild that is insane wild koalas have a hundred percent infection rate
of chlamydia for
two decades scientists have brought wild koalas into wildlife hospitals to
treat their chlamydia
i've had chlamydia six times in my life can't we give them a penicillin shot
well they'd have to go
grab all of them well you know they're they're really in deep deep trouble
because of the wildfires in
australia they said that they're something like 80 of their habitats been
destroyed the fires over
they're insane i did a benefit sunday night with uh monty hoffman or monty
franklin rather whitney
cummings and um jim jeffries oh i did a benefit for the wildlife uh fires jeffries
must be getting
his door knocked down with that oh i'm sure yeah well monty franklin's australian
as well uh-huh
this was a double australian double american card oh boy wild yeah it was a fun
show but um when
you you see the devastation it's crazy 70 of australia is covered in smoke whoa
70 and it's as big as the
united states ah that's a bummer yeah it's crazy and they basically have no way
of stopping it i mean
unless the rains put it out or it burns all the way to the coast yeah it's a
stupid question but what is
the money going to do you know i know it helps people it's for wildlife ah the
money is all for
wildlife for a lot of them been burned like they had a little bit of a
presentation um you know i mean
some of them they've rescued and they have to put them back into suitable
habitat and that's that's the
the money's going to while i mean you're not going to fix the fucking the
devastation by the fire
in terms of like the the plants and the houses and stuff like that i mean you
can only hope those
people their homes burnt down had some sort of insurance but how much insurance
money is there
so many houses got wrecked yeah how many what is the number now like how many
houses have been
burnt to the ground in australia currently yeah because all you hear about is
the animals
yeah well it's a billion animals that's why a billion animals wow so this will
be in history books
yeah oh yeah oh boy dude just think about a billion animals are dead from a
fire i mean that's insane
yeah that's gonna change the ecosystem oh for sure though the ecosystem over
there is weird anyway
oh they got spiders that kill birds yeah that's insane a bunch of that's not
supposed to be there
too oh really yeah there's like so many of their animals are invasive species
what about the aborigines
because they live in huts and shit right yeah i mean what i didn't think about
that they're
fucked i don't think they live in huts for the most part i think a lot of them
live in normal communities
you probably did probably like crocodile dundee that's all i know that and arch
barker they have
so many different languages the aborigines do that um they could go like 20
miles away and not have any
idea what those guys over there are saying yeah wow and most of those languages
aren't even written
down apparently really yeah my buddy adam greentree is from australia and he
runs a mining company and
they hire a lot of the folks that are aborigines and you know he's gotten to be
very close with a lot
of them and kind of gotten to know their culture and understand their culture
and it's really really
strange like really like they're scattered all over the country and so many of
them have they call
they call the mobs like a tribe is a mob and they have a different language
than another mob that's
like 30 miles away are they dangerous what do you like do they fight each other
and stuff i don't
know that's a good question yeah i don't know i went to australia for the melbourne
comedy fest
and i was bummed at how not different it was it's not that different from america
yeah no melbourne's
real close right fantastic food great food great place great people that laugh
lounge is awesome too
yeah yeah good club great club great comics over there too very into it yeah
very good although
they didn't like the dark stuff i noticed really yeah well i think there's
there's so much uh excuse
me there's so much that coffee man that turmeric is going right up my asshole
layered hamilton
superfood oh yeah i'd love to watch him masturbate but yeah that uh those com
the audiences there were
very tense when i got dark really i think because they have some real racial
probl