Name: JRE MMA Show #90 with Rashad Evans
Uploaded: 2020-02-11T20:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #90 with Rashad Evans' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #90 with Rashad Evans' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-11. Transcript available.

JRE MMA Show #90 with Rashad Evans

Three, two, one, boom. You tell a lot about a man whether or not he's one of
those dudes that has one of them wallet phone cases. Rashad Evans, you're a
wallet phone case guy. You pack it all into one package.
You know what? I wasn't always a wallet phone case guy. It's kind of something
that just, you know, I kind of evolved into. I was the one that was carrying
around the man purse for a while and after a while I kind of transitioned to
just the wallet case.
That's a lot of work though. Look how thick that sucker is. It's like a Costanza.
Look at that thing. I know. That thing's giant. Every single time I clean it
out, I tell myself I'm not going to put any more cards in there except for the
ones I need, but it just attracts the cards. Yeah, that's a problem. I have one
of those Ridge wallets. You know what those are? Yeah. Those are the shit
because you can't really get much in there. I get like a credit card or two and
my license. That's it. See, that's what I need. I need to have
that discipline where there's nothing else to carry but what I have to carry.
And it's got a little money clip on it, so I'll shove a couple bills in there
and that's it.
That's it. I go out like that. That's what I need. That's what you need. Front
pocket. Uh-huh. All this nonsense. That's so thick. It's thick. You might as
well go back to the man purse. But you know what?
You might as well get a backpack or a fanny pack. I'll send you one of these. I
just sent two to Stipe Miocic. Those look all right, though.
That's pretty dope, right? Yeah, it is pretty dope. That's my own company makes,
well, we don't make them. We buy them from Roots and we put our stamp on it.
Yeah, leather, right? You might want to go on for you. Yeah, I do want one. All
right. Yeah. You're a bold man. You can wear a fanny pack.
Yeah. You know what? I was rocking the man purse before anybody else was
wearing it. I mean, out in America. Out in Europe, they were doing it a long
time ago.
But in America, I was like one of the, I was a trailblazer, I like to say. At
least among my friends.
It is a weird thing, right? Like guys are not supposed to wear bags. But women
have like fucking all these different brands of bags they carry around.
Fendi and Gucci and this and that. And it makes you look like you're special
because you got some fancy bag.
And carrying a bag actually helped me be more prepared than ever because, I
mean, I would always be, one of them to do is can't carry enough stuff.
And I'll always become things, wishing I had things that I didn't have. And I'm
like, you know what? The bag worked.
But why is it that we're afraid to carry a bag? Like a guy can carry a backpack.
Backpack's fine. I guess you got shit to do.
You got a backpack. You're fucking serious. It's got two straps. But one strap.
Like, man, what's wrong with you?
I think it's because you have to do the feminine hold at times with the one
strap. Yeah. And I can.
But dudes do it over the shoulder. So you don't have to do that. Then you're
like, it's a satchel.
Then it's manly. Then it's manly. Then it's manly.
Very strange, right? How a bag became manly or not manly based on the amount of
straps.
It's a thin line.
Yeah. And then for women, it's like a status symbol. Like what kind of bag they're
carrying out.
Nobody gives a fuck what kind of backpack you have.
Right?
Right.
If a dude has a nice backpack, no one's like, bro, where'd you get that
backpack?
Where'd you get that backpack?
I mean, you got a nice...
Fanny pack?
Fanny pack.
Sort of. Not really. It doesn't get the respect it deserves.
But it sticks out. The people are like, okay, he's got enough balls to carry a
fanny pack.
Yes. There's a little bit of that. A little bit of that. You know, a little bit
of, I don't give a fuck.
I've seen a fanny pack carried where it's across the shoulder. That looks kind
of cool.
Weak people. Weak people. Scared.
You don't think it's got to...
No, they're scared to rock a real fanny pack.
Like with the waist.
They're cowards.
Cowards.
They're cowards. They're fashion cowards. They don't want anybody calling them
out. I'm wearing a fanny pack.
So, no, no, no. It's a shoulder bag.
It's not a shoulder bag, bitch.
You have to wear it right in front.
It's a fat man's fanny pack. You're wearing it over your shoulders.
That's what it is. They're wearing it in a way you're not supposed to wear it.
It's like if you wore a backpack around your waist, like people would be like,
what the fuck are you doing?
It's not a backpack. It's wrapped around your waist. What are you doing?
But I mean, you think that, Karen, here you have everything you want, like
right here.
What about right here, man? You don't even have to lift your hands up. You go
like that. They're right in there.
You know what? I guess I'm just trying to wear, like, say how I think I would
wear that one, but you're kind of convincing me, Joe, that maybe the front
carry might be the...
It's the way to go. The only issue is girls won't fuck you.
That's all right.
Some girls, some girls, like, you wear a fanny pack. That's it.
See, I'm married anyway, so I'm good now.
Perfect. Yeah, I'm good with that.
Every married man, like myself, every married man should have a fucking fanny
pack.
It's a deterrent. Pussy deterrent.
Yes, it's a little bit of that, but it's also, fuck you.
That's what it says. Fuck you.
I can carry my own shit.
Right there. Keep my shit right there.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, keep it together. Keep it together.
And then you also have this crazy green drink that you were telling me about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this right here is spirulina.
Ever since I changed my diet up, I need to have a couple of these every single
day.
And it makes me feel good, you know?
Yeah?
Yeah, I don't eat meat anymore, so I know you're a big meat eater.
Yeah, do you eat fish or any of that?
No.
Nothing? All vegan?
All vegan.
When did you become vegan?
Probably about, man, I want to say probably about almost two years now.
Really?
Yeah, almost two years now.
You like it?
I love it.
Really?
It's changed my life, man.
It's been one of the things I can honestly say that's just revolutionized my
complete everything.
It's been everything that's lately that has changed me from a mental standpoint,
physical standpoint, and even a spiritual standpoint.
I definitely think it changes the mind because this all-meat diet that I've
been on, that changes your mind the other way.
It makes you more aggressive.
Yeah, too much so.
Yeah, I have to work out extra to keep the demons at bay.
It's the blood.
It is.
It's that.
It's also like, if you think about it, if your body thinks, okay, I have to eat
animals all the time because all this motherfucker eats is animals, right?
Right.
If your body thinks that, your body's going to sort of take on the
characteristics of something that's a predator, right?
You would become more, I mean, this is obviously like some bullshit bro
psychology because I'm a moron, but I would say your body is going to think, I'm
more aggressive.
I have to chase shit down and kill it.
Yeah.
You have to be more predatory.
Your body has to think that way.
I can get with that.
It makes sense, though.
It makes sense.
Did you do it right after you retired?
You know, I kind of, not right after I retired.
It was kind of something that kind of just happened.
Like, ever since I, like, because I do mushrooms, right?
Uh-oh.
Yeah, yeah.
So, it was when I did a, like, when I had a really, really deep trip that just
caused me to have one of those ego deaths.
And when I had the ego death, I was, like, in a state where this knowingness
was coming to me.
And it was, like, you know, I was, like, it was all day.
I did, like, a mushroom ceremony.
And it was all day.
And I was just out in the sun and just, you know, in my own mind.
And then I was smelling real bad.
And then I smelled myself.
And you know how you catch a smell of yourself?
And I was, like, oh, my God, I stink.
Like, and then the knowingness said, like, you stink because you eat dead, rotting
flesh.
And it said if you want to eat, if you want life, then you eat life.
That's what this knowingness said to me.
And then I was, like, that's a strange thought that just comes into my mind
like that.
And then after that, no kidding, like, I just lost my taste for meat.
And I used to eat all kinds of meat.
I would eat pork.
And I was, you know, big into pork and big into, like, all kinds of meat.
And I was never one of those diet guys at all.
But after that happened to me, after I had that experience, it was just, like,
one of those things that I just couldn't help but go into.
Like, I just lost the taste for meat.
One trip.
Yeah, I mean, well, it was, well, it was, it kind of started when I, like,
about eight months before that, I did the toad.
And then the toad was one that, that really was the catalyst for everything.
There's a lot of people listening going, what the fuck is he saying?
You did the toad?
Yeah, yeah.
So, five MEO DMT, which is the toad.
And the toad was one that was, I guess, the catalyst of busting that gate open.
That's a crazy psychedelic.
That's a very underrated psychedelic.
Oh, my God.
It, that, that will.
Yeah, that's the first really, I had done mushrooms before, but I did a fairly
small dose.
I mean, fairly small in that I could walk around.
I was pretty whacked out, but I could walk around a couple grams.
But the five MEO DMT was the first one where I just ceased to exist.
I just stopped.
And it made me really aware of ego, really aware of, like, even the way I
express myself, the way I would frame sentences and say things.
I was just, I was trying to sound cool.
Yeah.
Or I was trying to portray something in a way, like, not just trying to portray
the information, but trying to impress people.
And it made me, like, feel real gross.
Yeah, well, that's, that's the thing.
Like, when I had my five MEO experience, it was, man, I just never, I never
thought that consciousness could be so vast and so big.
You know, when I, when you, when you have that experience with the five MEO, it
just like, it made this consciousness make look as if like it was a drop in a
bucket, you know, just like a little drop.
And I got to experience the ocean of consciousness and that right there was, it
was the most humbling experience I ever had, you know, just to feel my ego, who
I thought I was, what I thought I was completely just annihilated.
And to feel what I actually was, you know, it was, it was crazy.
Yeah, I feel like regular consciousness that most of us exist in most of the
time is a veneer.
It's a very thin veneer.
Yeah.
And through some things, you get a taste of what's under the surface through
meditation and yoga and all these different methods that people use, holotropic
breathing.
You get a taste of what's underneath the surface.
Kundalini yoga, apparently.
Kundalini yoga, apparently.
I've never really done it.
But some people say you could really trip out if you do it in a certain way for
long periods of time.
People have like very intense psychedelic experiences akin to DMT.
Yeah.
I had like a, like a Kundalini kind of experience, like an awakening where it
was like a, as I just had, felt like the top of my head just completely was
gone.
And it was, it was like, I was just open to all like the information.
It was, it was a crazy, it was like I had no, no, no, no head.
Like it was just, I was just, information was just pouring into.
Like no roof.
No roof.
Was this from Kundalini?
No, it was, it was, it was from mushrooms, but it was from.
But a similar type of.
But I felt, but I felt that, that, that Kundalini experience where you see the
light, it was like this really intense light that, that happens in my head.
And it was just, boom, you see, you see the universe, you know.
Well, you know, that, that thing about the center of your head, that's what the,
there's, there's a lot of speculation on what the Egyptians were trying to draw
when they were drawing cert