Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1444 - Duncan Trussell
Uploaded: 2020-03-19T19:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1444 - Duncan Trussell' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1444 - Duncan Trussell' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1444 - Duncan Trussell

Oh, this smells good.
Demons, be gone!
Be gone, demons.
Be gone!
Leave this studio!
Leave this planet.
Leave our universe!
Leave.
This is legit sage from a Native American woman.
Wow.
So we're purifying this room.
Wonderful.
Please, God, bless this room.
And Odin, too.
Just in case they were wrong.
That's what I was referring to.
They abandoned Odin.
He was around first, you know?
You gotta think of all the gods that everybody believed in.
And they're like, I'm not so sure about Thor.
Yeah.
And then they let him go.
What if Thor was legit?
Right?
And he's still out there, just like somebody who just fell out of fame as a god.
Yeah.
He's like, don't you fucker see the lightning?
Yeah.
That's me throwing bolts.
He's like one of those guys when you go to Vegas and you see one of those billboards
for a strange casino.
And you're like, oh, that guy.
Yeah.
Tony Orlando and Dawn.
I remember them.
Thor's at the Mirage.
Thor.
Thor's doing a residency.
You motherfuckers.
Check out the thunder.
That's actually caused by atmospheric conditions.
No, you fucks.
Thor's on cameo.
I make that.
Imagine.
Someone had a really good point about that.
Some atheist was arguing against religions.
It might have been Sam Harris.
Probably it was Sam Harris.
It might have been Richard Dawkins.
But he basically said, there's 99 different gods that people who believe in the
Christian God don't believe in.
And then he goes, atheists, just take it one step further.
They just get rid of the last.
Which is one God away.
That's what he was saying.
That's cool.
Yeah.
I get confused with being an atheist all the time.
I do not believe I'm an atheist.
I believe I'm open to everything person.
I don't believe stories about people coming back from the dead.
Because they're written by people.
Right?
Yeah, man.
I mean, that's right.
And also, they're supposed to function on more than the surface level.
They're supposed to be a kind of fractal that has inside of it a lot of, like,
symbols related to just human existence.
Yes.
They're not meant to be so much, like, taken literally.
That's when you embarrass yourself on either side.
Exactly.
On either side.
That's a really good point.
And the translations, apparently, are so difficult to do.
Yeah.
Apparently, especially Old Testament, when they translated the Old Testament,
they had to translate it.
I mean, think of all the different languages it had to go through.
It was Latin and Greek and German and English and all these different languages
that are so different.
Like, have you ever used the translate button?
Like, I follow a lot of Russian fighters.
And they, you know, in their Instagram feed, they write in Russian.
And I'm always like, oh, translate.
It's a really cool feature.
But you can tell it's not exactly what they meant.
Because it's all fucked up.
Because their language is different.
Right.
Like, the way they structure sentences is different.
So English doesn't just plug and play.
Right.
You know, it's like sticking a USB 3 into a USB A.
Like, hey, this doesn't really fit.
Right.
Now add time.
Add thousands of years and scrolls.
And kings who wanted things changed.
Yeah.
The King James version.
What?
Who?
It's the best.
That's my favorite one to read on acid.
That's the one.
King James, Book of John, baby.
Hit that on acid.
It's so wonderful.
It's so trippy.
Because it's like, that's when I really, like, Christianity clicked for me,
regardless if it's, whether it's real or not.
But that's when I was like, oh, okay, I get this.
Because the Book of John, when you read it, you're like, well, someone wrote it.
I don't know who wrote it.
And whoever fucking wrote this, their mind was blown, man.
Like, this wasn't written by someone who was just, like, a normal person.
This is a person who was freaking out in the most intense way.
And so to me, that's what I love about it is it's, like, something about the,
how old it is and the distortions, the historical distortions, the warping of
it, produce this kind of awesome glitched out mosaic of, if nothing else, human
consciousness 5,000 years ago.
Where our minds were, that's trippy by itself, regardless of whether or not a
person who could, like, graze the dead and walk on water was walking about.
Just, holy shit, here's how people thought back then.
Yes, yes, yeah.
I mean, all the stuff that you can't prove or you don't know, that's
interesting.
It's weird.
It's weird where those stories came from and why they're so universal.
Like, someone has to, everyone has, like, a creator.
Everyone has, like, a main dude that did the thing.
And, you know, there's some other people that have, like, large groups of gods,
like the Greeks had gods for everything.
The Native, a lot of Native Americans had gods for everything.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, animism.
It's, like, I've talked to people who make, who produce electronic music and
some of them apply, say that the computers have a life in them, a sentience, a
spirit inside their computer.
So there's a collaboration happening that isn't one-sided when they're making
stuff.
It's, like, working with, like, the spirit within the machine.
Which is pretty trippy, man.
Like, why do they, do they, but this is based on input or the way they react
when they're putting in the input to the thing?
They think the thing is responding to them?
Yeah.
It's, yeah, they think that there's a, it's a, it's a live.
That, like.
It's standard keyboards or there's just electronic stuff?
Uh, I know someone who makes visual art on their computer, their laptop.
That you, and that, like, or, you know, do you have an Alexa?
You probably don't.
Do you have an Echo?
Like, sometimes I'll realize the way I'm talking to that thing is, like, really
impolite.
You know, like, next song!
Next song!
It's kind of fun.
Yeah.
It's fun to yell at robots.
Yeah.
It's someone, yeah, it is fun to yell at robots!
It is!
You know, it's really funny.
I made fun of this, but there is a point to this.
PETA had a statement that they put out a while back because these dudes from
Boston Dynamics were kicking the fuck out of these robots.
They're trying to figure out, they're trying to figure out how to get these
robots to fall over.
And they're trying, they're making, they're making these insanely durable
robots.
Like, this, if you take scientists and engineers and you say, hey, I want you
guys, here's a shit ton of money.
I want you guys to make the dopest robots you can make.
Like, they're going to make robots you can kick.
And it's not a living thing.
So, but PETA released some statement saying they didn't think it's cool to kick
robots.
What?
That's not real.
That's gotta be fake.
No, it's real.
It's real.
It's real.
What?
Yes.
They were thinking, I think the statement I'm paraphrasing was something to the
effect of,
there's other things that are more important, but it's still not cool to kick
robots.
Jesus Christ.
That's a tattoo right there, man.
But it just shows you what'll happen when robots become alive.
Because those fucking traitors, those people, those people that think that
robots are alive and that they're us.
Yeah.
Those emotionless things that have no place in our world with power.
They're supposed to be things that we control.
As soon as you let them control themselves and you try to pretend they're a
person, this is going to wipe it out.
Yeah, man.
Can you imagine?
I'm not going to try to kick one of those fucking DARPA bots.
Those things are terrifying.
They would have a record of it.
They would always remember that this one kicks robots.
It's in the cloud.
Yeah, and then they'll show it to you one day when some super sophisticated
genius god robot sits you down on a couch and shows you you kicking these unbeknownst
to you sentient robots.
Yeah.
They were just trying to fucking figure out, what am I?
What am I?
I'm like a baby.
They were like little babies and you're kicking them.
So the robots, the robots are very, very upset at you in the future.
They might just reanimate your ass and just show you over and over that clip of
you kicking the fucking robot.
Yes.
Did you see what Trump tweeted?
No.
He tweeted and deleted.
It's fucking hilarious.
He said, checks are coming to everyone in America except the people who used
hashtag not my president.
I wouldn't want to offend you with a check from someone that's not your
president.
Oh, my God.
Something to that effect.
See if you can find that.
Holy shit.
And then it wrote hashtag MAGA afterwards.
I mean, he just dunked on them.
The president dunks on people.
Yeah.
I want to know who the tweet the leader is.
Well, someone in his department was probably like, Mr. Trump, that's not a good
idea.
Do they have a siren that goes off?
You got to delete that.
Yeah, man.
I know the president can delete tweets.
How much is he going to send?
I think they wanted to give like $1,000 a month or something like that to
Americans.
Is that the idea, Jamie?
It's hurt lots of things.
I don't know.
Up to $2,000.
I don't know if Bernie's saying they should give $2,000 a month.
Yeah.
It's got to be $2,000.
If you give everybody $2,000 a month, it's a good thing.
But everyone's going to go, hey, you could have done this the whole time.
That's right.
Wait a minute.
If you just raise taxes, can you just give people money?
Can you just give people more money?
And if – I'm not saying we should do this, but imagine if that was the
solution to all
this.
If you just give people more money, everything just sort of levels out and
relaxes.
Crime drops.
Everything drops.
Drug abuse drops.
Well, I mean, they've got to know that when people don't have work, they don't
have money.
With no money, they can't support their family.
That's when the riots start.
Yes.
People get desperate.
Catch on fire.
They know that.
So it's like a bribe to try to keep people from rioting until whatever the fuck
this thing
is passing.
You could look at it that way.
Or it's giving people a different environment to exist in, one that doesn't
leave them hostile.
So instead of looking at it like a bribe, look at it like, you know what?
I see what a lot of your problem is.
We're not – you're not asking for affluence.
You could barely get by.
But if it was easy to get by, if you could just get by and then you could
pursue other
things, would that be better for society?
And that was like what Andrew Yang was suggesting if this whole automation
revolution took place
and everything started getting automated and no one had a job anymore.
There might be something to that.
There might be something to that now even.
You know, the question is like what are – what are you happy your taxes get
used for?
You know, it's almost like you should be able to vote on that.
Like the one thing that we don't get real direction on, right, like in terms of
like what the
country actually wants, but if we could all just individually vote on things
like that,
like where's my taxes go?
I want my taxes to go 100% to education.
Right.
I want to make that cut and, you know, you guys got to figure out what to do
with the
rest of the money.
But if you did that –
My money, I want it to go towards education.
But then nobody or the people who would be paying for war and prisons and shit
would
just be like BDSM people.
Well, how about the salaries?
How about the salaries of politicians?
How about the money that they make doing tours and all that kind of shit?
Private jets.
All that shit.
It's crazy.
Yeah, it's fucking crazy.
Also, like the loose connection between the state and corporations and the way
it's just
all kind of merging together right now.
And also, you know, it appears to be kind of the apocalypse at the moment.
Well, if it's not the apocalypse, I don't think it's the apocalypse.
I think it's just a dangerous, dangerous illness.
But it's definitely a dress rehearsal.
It's a dress rehearsal for fucking – people are going to become preppers.
It is going to be amazing for the toilet paper industry.
They're going to experience a banner year.
If you've got toilet 