Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1446 - Bert Kreischer
Uploaded: 2020-03-24T19:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1446 - Bert Kreischer' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1446 - Bert Kreischer' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-24. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1446 - Bert Kreischer

and we're live cheers sir cheers brother yeah why the world is on fire we might
as well get a little
little fucked up i've been clean i've been clean for seven days no booze no
nothing no nothing you
look good your face looks good i know it's i can starting to see a direct
difference when i quit
drinking do you feel trapped by your image by your party image i would never
have said yes
until this week i've exhaled for the first time in a very big way like where i
was like i was like no
road i'm not i'm not doing social media i mean i'm doing stories and stuff i'm
not trying to put like
when things shut down i kind of shut down with america and i was like yesterday
man i sat in a
hammock sober for like fucking two hours and just relaxed it is nice to be home
for a while it is
nice you realize what a beating our lifestyle takes on your body the travel and
then if you're
boozing too the travel and the boozing together so uh we should tell everybody
what we learned today
um i'm revising my thinking about this virus because of michael yo michael yo
caught it michael yo is
healthy as fuck he's he's not he's not any high risk group like he's not he
doesn't have any
pre-existing conditions he's in shape and uh he got it and he got pneumonia too
and he said it was a
double combination and he thought he was going to die and he was in the
hospital uh for over a week
and four days ago he said he thought he was going to die that's fucking
terrifying because michael yo
is healthy he's not some 80 year old man um i talked to my friend uh dr peter
atia uh he's a physician
and he uh that's the guy that swam from maui yes he swam all the islands he's a
fucking straight up
savage so his take i this is my question to him i said this is crazy shit uh
what is your take on
how so many people experience very few symptoms but others get wrecked and he
said i still think
most people below 55 sail through it i've had two patients get it uh shitty
cold and loss of a sense
of smell and taste which probably returns soon but still a small fraction of
these folks get hurt i know
a doc taking care of a 28 year old fitness instructor on a ventilator in new york
city today why he said
maybe some genetic predisposition we know blood types matters uh a is the worst
o is the best based
on antibodies damn he said uh i'm o positive he said but i i don't think that
explains more than some
of it maybe shit like vaping he said still too soon to tell uh he is a straight
up no nonsense no
bullshit guy and uh i listen to everything he says so um when guys like him are
concerned i get concerned
and he's concerned he's this weird disease another thing that he said it's
weird that it seems that
people who spend more time with this get it worse he's like it's not like you
know like like doctors
in hospitals with prolonged exposure get it really bad uh nurses in hospitals
with prolonged exposure
seem to get it really bad whereas some people get it and they don't get it bad
it's weird it's a very
very strange disease according to doctors and i think we're still trying to
figure this out
you know it's just wow it's it's one of those things where everyone's just sort
of absorbing
the information as it comes in and you got to be open to adjusting your
opinions
my opinions were i really was concerned with old people and i was concerned
with sick people
now after michael yo i'm like okay this is not that straightforward
there might be some uh some other crazy factors here like for some people yeah
like idris elba who
looks fantastic you know fine but maybe other people are gonna have a real hard
time with it like
michael yo like michael yo's not a sickly guy he's a big robust guy that's a
spooky one yeah i mean
your podcast with uh the osterholm chicka little chicken little that scared the
fuck out of me
chicken little fucking sitting in the back of my tour bus and i hear this i'm
like i've had a few
cocktails i hit a joint let's go to bed oh cool who's this guy oh the
coronavirus i wouldn't mind
hearing a little bit about that holy first thing i did i told jamie first thing
i did i sat up in bed
and i was googled that motherfucker i was like he wrote a book didn't he fuck
that guy that guy i was
guys i was so freaked out in that fucking podcast what's crazy about osterholm
is he predicted this
shit um literally specifically as to where it was going to come from he was
very insightful i didn't
mean fuck that guy in a bad way he was a very insightful dude and it was a
great podcast but man
it's i'll tell you right now joe you said you said uh so guys that are
overweight that drink a lot
that smoke i was talking to you you know that right by the way i thought you
were i was i was i've heard
i'm talking to you i didn't want to say it but i was like piecing together at
all my good friends
who's my one friend takes care of himself the worst it's you it's me it's you i
quit cigars weed
beautiful booze i'm having a drink now but you're still okay man like if you
stopped this bus now and got healthy and just drank water only water for a
month you know you
could pull this shit together i'm pulling it you're a health relatively
speaking compared to the
fucking savagery you do to your physique to your body to to your form to your
your being by just
downing booze constantly you're great like most people would be really fucked
up if they were in
your position that's we were all um we were marveling when you ran that
marathon like this
motherfucker party's so hard and he just ran a marathon like it's crazy you're
a very like i hate
to use the same word again but it's the right word robust you're a robust guy
and the reason why
you're able to endure all this booze is because you're robust but if you didn't
do the booze man
you'd probably be a stud because whatever the fuck is keeping you going with
all this booze imagine what
kind of i mean you're like pouring sugar water into a fucking 68 charger you
know clean that bitch up
clean that bitch up replace the heads that that hemi will purr you know like
you you must be you you have
to have great genes there's no other way i mean how old are you now 47 yeah you're
47 and relatively speaking
compared to the fucking savagery you do boozing i boozed with you it's it's it's
a rough go you know
it's like smoking weed with joey diaz or uh would be real from cypress hill
just stop you're not in
their league you know you don't you don't roll with hicks and gracie and expect
to tap him i know you
don't smoke weed with be real i didn't uh i didn't see i don't never i never
see that and then i took
normand on to europe with me mark norman and mark norman's a boozer yeah a man
two days in and he
tapped out we got him addicted to ambien he was he is the funniest fucking
human being i really love him
he's a real comic man i cherish guys like him him andrew schultz i texted with
schultz this morning
coming up these young guys coming up are everything to me chris de stefano
coming up too do you are
you you know chris de stefano i do not know him well man i know of him he makes
me giggle hard as fuck
very funny guy there's a good crop a good crop of real comics who uh honor this
thing that we do
it's this weird thing we do you know it's like what we're doing is a very
strange
game of saying funny silly shit and then trying to make each other laugh and
then but understanding
what we're doing and don't say oh you really mean that or oh you know you can't
joke about this like
none of those guys will do that because we know the game the game is to be
funny that's that's the game
be funny and you sometimes you say ridiculous shit to be funny sometimes it
works sometimes it falls
apart sometimes it blows up in your face and sometimes it knocks it out of the
park and so
you got to take those risks and you throw in every now and then it's the people
that are in this thing
that understand what we're doing and appreciate that those are the most fun
people to hang out with
because you never have to think about them getting upset at you for saying
something or them taking
you literally or seriously or them not even taking you seriously but calling
you on to pretend that
they're taking you seriously so that they can virtue signal which i've seen
before but i've never seen
from anybody funny no it's never from anybody funny it's always from these kind
of half-assed
sort of half-cooked versions of a comic you know it's never been i was telling
you know i i got into
a conversation with ari about whether what the parameters of a joke were after
the whole kobe bryant
shit yeah and uh and he said something that made me like fucking stutter step
he was like he was like
it you can't say it's not a joke he kept arguing you can't say it's not a joke
you can't say it's not
a joke it was a joke bird it was a joke and i was just saying to him you know
tom and i had said that
we didn't think it was funny we didn't think it was a joke and then i and then
i wrapped my head around
i remember one time isla had a dance on fifth grade and they did it on stage
right and uh and they were
saying you know just so you know that we're the parents gonna be honest boys
may dance with boys
girls maybe dance with girls we just want all the parents to know that we're
cool with that and
make sure everyone's cool with that you know like a little preamble and i said
yeah as long as they're
white and and and man some parents got so upset like really really upset they
don't have any sense of
humor and they go are you being serious i go guys i'm joking obviously i'm a
professional comedian
no okay i don't want her dancing with girls i want her dancing with boys and
they and and that's
what i didn't start laughing at that no no no no that kind of more mad that
kind of more mad it's
half of this special is just times i said the worst things to people parents
are weird man because
some of them are super cool you know and if you get lucky like um i know a
really a really nice group of
super cool parents of like my kids friends and it's a pleasure because when we
get together it's fun
like i enjoy their company our kids enjoy each other's company and we have
great times together
it's so i feel so fortunate for the friends that i've acquired this way you can
find cool people
that aren't comics they do exist oh yeah you know you can get lucky the problem
is people that take
themselves too seriously or people that are under the iron fist of like office
politics and office
behavior and business behavior those people get they get consumed because they're
there every day and when
you're there you got to every day you're wearing a tie you got slippery bottoms
to your shoes
the whole thing's nonsense right you and you're you have to speak and behave a
certain way and you
can't make jokes about anything and sometimes you're working with girls and you're
working with guys and
everybody's flirting with each other and there's all this crazy office politics
because people are trying
to move up the ladder and while they're trying to move up the ladder they have
to make sure they don't
say anything that's going to sabotage their career just trying to be funny or
just you know getting a little out of
a little out of hand at the company christmas party a couple cocktails in you
and ruining your career
like these people are always on the edge they're always suppressed so when they're
around someone
who's not who just cuts loose they're like no no you stay in line no no jokes
but they but looking at
you though they could have thought you were serious oh that's where it's
dangerous because they might not
be able to switch gears well look sometimes people if they knew you were going
to joke around about
something they'd be fine but then you say something like that and you're like
oh my god is he serious
i have to stand up and denounce racism now yeah yeah there's those man that's
the craziest part about
i have especially i've gone through i'm my daughter oldest daughter's in 10th
grade