Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1448 - Joey Diaz
Uploaded: 2020-03-26T19:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1448 - Joey Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1448 - Joey Diaz' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-26. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1448 - Joey Diaz

and we're live joey diaz my brother how you feeling like a new fucking man
rested you look
i know rested right rested very rested i looked at it at this as a reset button
as soon as i came
back from vegas i knew what time it was february 29th it was at 50 capacity
yeah we were there a
week later we were there uh when tommy was at the uh mirage and the ufc had uh
their uh their vegas uh
the las vegas card it was it was a ghost town just half not even half full i
mean a week after you you
were at 50 capacity probably dropping less than that 30 it was at 30 but the ufc
was packed it was
packed yeah and then i came to the comedy store march 2nd and that's when i
could smell it in the
fucking air when i went into the green room bro and i saw all those people in
the green room i
basically had a fucking panic attack yeah and i went right to the door there's
a street door
yeah in the back of the eddie murphy door if he comes back that's what we'll
call it the eddie murphy
door this house is gonna get it out of there yeah there's no other way guards
to get so uh i went
to the eddie murphy door and i stayed there and you could just see people in
the audience like nothing
was going on and i just got i just got like i was shattered by saturday and
remember i was supposed
to be in new york for st patty's day and the monday before i was supposed to be
in new york the 16th
and 17th with a show at nyack on the 12th and i saw it happening i went to a
doctor for a shot on
my knee to get the gel for the arthritis and he said you might have a weird
reaction to it and sure
enough tuesday i went to boxing class and the guy goes dog your leg is bruised
so i had a little
bruising on my leg and i got home and that night on the news that hit new rochelle
and i go wait a
second new rochelle and nyack they're like fucking neighbors you know my memory
might not serve me
right but in my mind that's all close close it's all pretty on top of
everything so i sent a letter
to uh picture that might need of the producers and i said i'm not coming in
because they wanted me to
come in thursday for wardrobe and then i was just going to sit in my hotel room
for two days you know
go to jersey and eat shit like that so even during all this they were still
planning on filming and this
is for the sopranos movie so we're going to do a couple shoots reshoots no not
reshoots extra scenes
right that tuesday when i got home new rochelle had busted i sent them a
picture of my knee and said i'm
not getting on a plane till friday i want the swelling to go down but it doesn't
take a fucking i got a ged
and when i was in new york city in may i went by the garden to eat lunch i
wanted to get out of my hotel
room and i went to the garden on the side you could sit there at 12 o'clock and
they have everything
steak sandwiches whatever you want pretty good too trucks uh no they have a
building that has foods
inside and they have some trucks and you could sit outside beautiful but while
i was sitting there it
was a tuesday i was off from shooting and i remember calling my wife and
specifically saying
i like it here and everything but if godzilla comes out of the hudson river
where are all these
people going to call yeah if you sit in new york city in manhattan like on the
50s and just sit there
at a cafe you could estimate i mean it's like maybe 10 000 for every 10 minutes
that you sit there people
that walk by you we don't have that foot traffic in l.a like there's in new york
there's a little bit of
foot traffic downtown but sunset strip that ship sail you don't see people
walking around the sunset strip
hollywood boulevard but not to the dense popular you know no no not the numbers
of new york
so it was a no brain this is a ged here this is me sitting there going this is
going to happen
i just kept cutting it down and my biggest fear was going to the east coast and
getting stuck
it could happen i would have had to buy a truck a cadillac and drove back i was
already prepared
like i was like i'm gonna buy a truck and drive back do you think you could do
that drive that's a
long ass i could do that i've done that drive 20 times what is it five days
five days four days
there's four days you got to do like what 16 hours a day yeah it's hard to stay
awake i did
colorado new jersey like the back of my hand how far is that early 80s three
what is it from here to
colorado like here to denver i think 16 16. here to utah salt lake is 10 10.
that's a good one did you
do that's a good escape that's a good escape have you done that no i have not
but i've done vegas
multiple times right vegas is about four and a half four and a half yeah and
then you go another six
ish somewhere in that range you get to salt lake depending on traffic salt salt
lake you go to
salt lake city at five in the afternoon like oh rush hour hey where's the cars
just fly by there's no
one there there's nobody there and now it took me ten minutes to get here we
thought i thought
salt lake city was like millions i thought it was like millions of people it's
not millions what did we
figured out jamie didn't it's like a couple hundred thousand yeah what a cool
place i love it i love
salt lake city it's so underrated because the moment the mormons put a stink on
it nobody knows dick about
dick they got reefer bong grenades great mexican food great food did you go to
that one there's this one
famous mexican joint something lizard i was walking around and some guy goes joey
dears i got the perfect
spot for you he seemed cool he drove me to a mexican joint what is that there's
a one famous mexican
spot in how did you get the number it says uh estimated is 200k but the metro
area is 1.2 million so i don't know
yeah that's like that goes all the way out to the mountains 1.2 million that's
nothing yeah that's
nothing no 200 000 in the city when you see those pop when people are like
dense and then i started
hearing them that we're gonna cancel coachella and i'm like then i gotta cancel
coachella they're
too greedy they can't coach out dog old people that's what's in palm springs
well once they
canceled south by southwest i was like whoa like whoa this is crazy the store
was planning on keeping
the or open and uh they canceled my show in the main room and they asked
offered me a spot in the or i was
like i don't think we should be doing shows like this this doesn't seem like
this seems like it's getting
real it's like because if you make a mistake and there's a 14 day period where
all these people can
get infected who the knows who gets infected during those 14 days it's so
because we didn't know what
it was yet it's still we don't know what it it's still strange because so many
people idris elba
apparently is asymptomatic he's not showing any symptoms and he has asthma and
uh i was reading
something find out if this is true that somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 of
the people are asymptomatic
and i wonder if that means they never show symptoms or i wonder if that means
they they they're asymptomatic
for a certain period of time so 60 of the people infected are asymptomatic but
a certain percentage of
those people ultimately get the cold or get the get the cough and all the uh
the terrible symptoms
the fever because you really listen you know a lot of people and i know a lot
of people and nobody's
called me yet that has it i have michael yo michael yo was almost dead michael
yo went to new york city
did gotham he came back he got real sick he got yes yes yes he got pneumonia
and the covid 19
at the same time so he got coronavirus and pneumonia and he said now now six
days ago i talked to him two
days ago he said for four days before that he thought he was going to die he's
like i couldn't breathe
pneumonia and this corona i think i think this wouldn't it it like plays with
you if you don't have
it if you don't get it you you can kind of like oh oh well this is no big deal
but if you do get it
it grabs you like jamie knows a girl who's 21 who lost her sense of smell and
taste
and it just it wrecks people we were we were uh googling a story about this olympic
swimmer from south
africa 31 stud athlete olympic swimmer he said this virus him up he said it was
the worst thing he's ever
experienced so it's weird it's like it it almost like plays with our mind like
it makes some people seem
like they're immune and some people are fine and maybe it's you take a chance
go outside take a
chance go to a restaurant take a chance go to the beach let's go to the beach
what's the worst thing
that can happen crack those asshole and then go deep it and then boom a bunch
of people in your family get
it and then boom your grandma dies look at italy do you know what happened in
italy look at italy they
just went out they all live together yep yep yep yep they all live together and
they hang together
nothing wrong with that that's how people are where i came from there's
supposed to be there's a basement
your grandmother and grandfather live in a basement your parents live on the
second floor and you live on
the third floor boom we hang out together the footsko family god bless them
from freehold new jersey
lost four people from a family reunion they went to like a oh yeah i saw that
and i saw that one i saw
the one that the guy had the 39th the 40th birthday party and they all got on
planes afterward and went
off to different parts of the country a family from new jersey was not very old
either no the the youngest
one that died i think was 55 i think it's somewhere in that range it's um am i
do do i have the mask on
am i jumping up and down at routes buying groceries no am i going i stopped you
know i went to one boxing
class after that thing that was announced and i was like you know what this is
too personal we
gotta give it a chance i got a bag at the house i got kettle bags at the house
everything could be done
out of my house yeah if you're a person and you want to work out there's so
many youtube videos of
just bodyweight workouts you can get a amazing workout with nothing you don't
need any equipment
you just do burpees and push-ups and bodyweight squats and lunges there's
plenty of working out to
do folks and it's free it's a beautiful thing about youtube there's so many
really good uh fitness
instructors that just put their stuff out there for free because they want
people to follow them
and you know you can get a ton of great bodyweight workouts you don't need
nothing and if you need
weights folks you can pick up around your house and you could do a great
workout with i'm sure you
got a can of paint somewhere that probably weighs 15 pounds you know people
have things laying
around so you know how to start doing what because it was with me meditating i
had to go back to
meditating what do you do what kind of meditating you doing so what i do is i
hit the bag like i broke my
workout because now you can't do that long workout now because what are you
going to do for the other
day for the restoration day the recovery day right so there's no recovery in my
world just so easy
workouts every 15 minutes yeah nice hitting the bag hitting the bag is very
essential during this time
yes hitting the bag is very essential get the ya-ya's out get the ya-ya's out
you're punching you look at
anything benefits over 40 for boxing benefits over 50 the number one benefit is
stress you know for a
couple days that dog i was getting scared yeah i wasn't i'm not scared of it
but i respect it there's a big
difference i respect what's going on something's going on i'm not a scientist
have you ever been here in an
earthquake yes it's for me it's the same feeling but but more magnified it's
like okay this is all right
but what is it like if it gets worse right are you scared of earthquakes oh
yeah where were you in july i
was on stage we were uh we were home i didn't even feel it i didn't even feel
it i was in huntington
beach and the room shut and i just kept going i just kept going if a beam falls
and hits me this