Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1457 - Tim Dillon
Uploaded: 2020-04-14T19:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1457 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1457 - Tim Dillon' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-14. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1457 - Tim Dillon

3, 2, 1
Later today, young Tim Dillon
will find out whether or not he has the
antibodies. Yes, yes
and if I do, I'm going to
Wuhan to do a fun little
video in a wet market
and eat a bat. If I have
the antibodies, it's not
it's okay. Is it safe? I don't
know what this is. Yeah, no one knows
we've never been in a time where literally nobody
knows. I have a string of text messages
from Alex Jones
that will change
your opinion if you smoke enough
weed and you don't smoke weed. Were you ever a weed
smoker? I smoked a lot of weed for a very
long time. That's when I discovered Alex
Jones when I was 13 when I was smoking weed
listening to him on the GCN
network. But when you got clean, it wasn't weed
that was a problem, right? No, it was the cocaine
and the booze and the pills
but weed was always there.
I've never been a cocaine user. I've never used it
but I do love that Buck Cherry song.
Oh yeah, it's great. It's great.
It almost makes you want to do cocaine. It's a great
drug. I mean, don't do it if you're
having problems. But Alex left
I haven't even gotten to them
because I got
I changed my phone number
not that long ago and I change it every few months
now and it doesn't matter. Do you get
random text from just anybody? Oh yeah, random.
But this, these are
all these are voicemail messages
and look at all these videos he sent
me to watch and all these websites
he's convinced that
it's a weaponized
virus that leaked from
a lab. Well, there's
a lot of people that are saying that in
Wuhan, obviously they have that lab, right?
Whether it's a bio defense or bio
research laboratory. There's something there.
Something's there. Something in Wuhan
where the disease is. Somebody
said, now this is kind of convincing
that maybe there
were people set back door
selling the animals that they
were experimenting on to wet
markets. Like, if you're broke
and you were a guard at the Wuhan lab, you're
like, hey, I'm just selling bats and
dogs for extra money
and he sold maybe one
of the wrong ones and now we have this issue.
Really? Where'd you hear that? I mean, that's
on the internet, Joe. Oh!
Well, as long as it's on the internet. I mean, it's there
but I mean, but now every theory
has as much weight as any other theory.
Right now. Right now.
Yeah. Well, there's some legit
scientists that are actually, like, one
of the things they found out is that the
origins of the virus
in New York City, it comes
directly from Europe. Apparently
they can tell that. Interesting.
Somehow. Yeah, I have no idea.
Find out how they can tell. Do they trace it back
to, like, patient zero?
No. With, like, the first part? Oh, they don't do that?
I don't think so. They do some sort of
tracing, right? Because that's the new
hot topic of Google and
Apple working together to get tracing software.
See, that's what scares me.
We talked about that the other day. If you have to have
everything on your phone, like, showing that
you're positive and, you know, you have to have a phone
everywhere. You have to take out your card
that you're positive to get into Applebee's.
Yeah. Adam Curry sent
me this, this whole thing,
saying this is why I have a flip phone.
You know Adam Curry, the original
podfather? And he's saying that he won't
do it. Yeah. Most coronavirus cases
in New York City can be traced back to Europe, not
Asia, research shows. What is the
research, though? What does it say? I mean...
Research tracking spread of coronavirus determined that the virus
has been circulating in New York City for a couple
of months since before the testing began. Genetic
sequencing of virus samples
indicates that most of the early cases in New York
originated in Europe, not Asia.
So it's some sort of genetic sequencing. Research
team studied samples of the virus taken from
91 New York patients.
As viruses evolve during transmission
from person to person, their sequences can help
research... This is what scares the fuck out of me.
Just that statement. As viruses evolve
Yeah. During transmission,
these fucking things, they morph and twist.
It seems like it's almost like a different
thing with different people. Like
I was reading about George Stepanopoulos
and his wife. He
has it, his wife has it. His wife
is deathly ill. He doesn't
feel a goddamn thing. That's crazy.
Yeah. Well, they're also... The media's
not helping. No. Because there's
a lot of... They're circulating
these stories
that aren't necessarily the truth
or they're not... Like... The media
will be like, coronavirus lives 13
feet away from you. And then you read
the article and buried in the article
they go, well,
doctors don't really know if these particles
are infectious. Or... So
it's like, why do you have an article
where the boldface headline is
coronavirus 13 feet away, 19 feet
away? And then in the article you go, well, you haven't
even determined if you can get sick. It's very
irresponsible. Yeah. But that's what they do today.
Yeah. News is strange
today. Yeah. Because they're just trying to sell
papers. Right. Not papers. You know,
they're trying to sell clicks. Yeah. Yeah.
They want people to pay attention to their articles
so everything's clickbait. Yeah. It's fucking
real weird, man. And then the other half of that
is nobody... The guys who don't believe anything
where they're on Twitter. A nurse will put something on Twitter.
She's like, you know,
you know, it's been a rough day. And she's crying.
And then the first tweet, a guy's like, liar.
It's like, oh my God. Oh my God.
There are people that are like, you're a liar. I know
what's going on. You're a conflict actor.
Yeah. You're a crisis actor.
Show me the ward. Like there's people being
demanded to get into ERs,
you know. They're like, show me the ER.
It's like God. Well, then there's TikTok
with nurses. See, here's the deal.
Yeah, that's crazy. Well, here's the deal.
There are some places where the hospitals
are overwhelmed. And there's some
places where the hospitals are empty. You know why?
Yeah. Because the world's big.
Yeah. Okay. It's just like grizzly bears.
Right. You know, if you're like, well, grizzly bears
are almost extinct.
Go to fucking Wyoming and get eaten.
Right. Okay. If you're in Wyoming
and you're camping, you might get eaten.
Right. They're there. Yeah. There's a lot of them
in Montana. They're there.
Yeah. But they're not in New York City.
But even in a hospital that's not busy,
some nurse has got to go,
let's not do the TikTok dance
today. I don't know. Some nurse has
got to go, hey guys, let's not
do the TikTok dance
today. Bullshit. Cut them a break.
I don't know. They should be able to do whatever the fuck they want.
I don't know, man. Even if you're in an empty hospital
and you're a nurse, you might deal with a
COVID-19 patient. You might get it. You might
die. That's tough. Yeah. It's very bad.
I say let them dance.
Okay. Alright. I don't know.
How do they get those balloons to puff their asses out?
Well, this is what I mean. I mean, this is what I mean.
There's probably COVID patients
dying while they're doing that. You know?
Maybe not. I don't know. Who knows?
That's possible too. I don't know what to believe.
I don't know. One day
I wake up, I go, this virus is fake.
The next day I wake up, I go,
I'm going to die today.
So I don't know what to believe. You know when it gets
me? Yeah. In the middle of the night.
In the middle of the night. Because
I'm a moron and I like to
drink a lot of water before I go to bed.
Yeah. I'm like an asshole. Okay. So I'll wake up
at like 3 o'clock in the morning. I'll
convince myself I don't have to pee. I'm like, please.
Just stay in bed. Yeah. And then I get up
and piss like a racehorse. And while I'm peeing
then I start thinking. Like, what if
it changes? What if it gets worse? What if it becomes
like the H1N1 flu?
What if it, you know, it becomes
as deadly as one of these horrific
flus, but transmits
the same way that this one? What if it
you know, it's like running all these scenarios.
Well, it's interesting. It's like, I also think
about, and I'm not saying the virus is
not organic. I mean, I don't
know. You know what I mean? People say it could be man-made.
But look at the world before this happened, right?
You had the Yellow Vest protests in France.
Right. You had the Hong Kong protests.
You had a lot of populist movements,
a lot of uprisings in
first world countries like
France. You saw things
happening that you didn't see before
and after the virus,
you know, after this has
gotten bad, now that's impossible.
I mean, you can't protest.
You can't do anything now. You can't leave your house.
Yes. But I think it's way more
likely that what we're dealing
with is just a virus.
Sure. And that this is the consequences of the virus
is that things are getting locked down.
What's really bothering me is
this idea that
once you get
control of people,
that they're not going to let go.
That if they start taking away
civil liberties, if they start
moving you through checkpoints when you want
travel and you have to, and you're on your car,
you have to wait and they have to, you know,
scan you or check your temperature, like
that stuff.
I mean, are they going to let that go once a
vaccine gets through?
No. I mean, it's like 9-11.
All of that is still
left in place, right? All the
powers, yeah, all the powers that the
federal government gave themselves
after 9-11 have only been expanded
in the years since. Obama only
expanded Bush era
executive power and he's
been able to do, and now everybody's
concerned now, but it's like the time
to be concerned was probably a long time ago.
You know, because now these things have become so
big and so Orwellian,
like, I mean, you know, but yet this is
going to be a problem. Do you, I think
it'll be possible that you won't be able to get into
maybe a sporting event or a concert without
walking through like some type of infrared sensor
that detects if you have a fever.
Yeah, for sure. You know? They're going to, well, they're doing
it in China. In China, they're testing
your temperature. The fever gun. Yeah, they have a little gun
and test your forehead. And if you have a temperature,
they put you in a, they cremate
you. They cremate you and put
you in an urn. So it's a good way
to get the virus when it's young.
Did you see the protests that they did have
where the people were protesting because they're
building a crematorium near them? No.
Oh, yeah. That's hilarious.
Yeah, it's dark. I mean, it's dark.
It's dark. They don't want a crematorium near
them. Well, it's not that. They're
protesting for a bunch of reasons, but
the real concern is that they're killing
people that have the disease. Yeah.
The real concern is that they're lying about the
number of people that died from the disease.
Like only 3,000 people died from the disease.
200,000 had it,
but we killed them. Right.
Right. 10 million had it, but they're
in an urn. You got it?
Well, the 21 million
cell phone thing was spooky. Locals protest against
cremation of doc... No, that's not it.
No, there's a crematorium
here. I'll send it to you. Just give me a second.
China's efficient. Here's the thing with China.
They're an efficient country.
And they're not emotional.
No. And they get things done.
Efficient's a weird way of putting it.
Well, I'm putting a positive spin
on it. Yeah.
But I'm sure that, you know, listen,
there are negatives to that level of efficiency.
Here, Jamie. I'm sending it to you right now.
Protests break out in China
last month over crematorium plans
in Maoming.
Yeah. Chinese riot police
fire tear gas
and beat up protesters
at Guangdong
province.
Have you ever been there?
Have you ever did shows there
or anything like that?
No, but I have gone through
the airport in Taiwan,
which they won't
they won't admit
is it's like Taiwan
is not a part of China,
according to them.
Right.
But China
thinks Taiwan doesn't exist.
And so the World Health Organization,
did you see that whole thing
where the guy wouldn't admit
that Taiwan was a place?
Right.
They w