Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1466 - Jessimae Peluso
Uploaded: 2020-04-29T19:02:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1466 - Jessimae Peluso' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1466 - Jessimae Peluso' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-04-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1466 - Jessimae Peluso

three two one jesse may rogan good to see you joseph do people call you joseph
uh my mom does
oh that's sweet yeah what's your middle name james joseph james sounds like an
author
maybe i should write books i can't believe you haven't written a book i tried
started doing one
uh a long time ago i had a deal for a book like 12 years ago and the dealing
with the editors was
so gross they wanted they basically wanted me to just transcribe stand up and i
wanted to write
a bunch of weird didn't judy carter already do that you remember the do you
remember that book
is that the worst genre ever books on how to do stand up they might be the most
piss poor books
ever belzer had a pretty good one belzer had a decent one i think it was uh
what he had a couple
of them he had one on stand-up and he had one on ufos bigfoot and jfk belzer is
a crazy those all go
together do you know him i don't know him personally but i mean he's a legend
for sure he's he's a crazy
conspiracy theorist that makes sense off the deep end yeah yeah is he like rate
him with sam tripoli
is it just as crazy no maybe more wow yeah he's he's uh i don't know if they
believe in the same
things because it's funny like there's like classifications of conspiracy theorists
like
some conspiracy theories are bald balls deep and like jfk but you try to bring
up 5g and they're like
get the out of here so was marilyn monroe yeah balls deep in jfk oh yeah it's a
little sex joke i
mean well i guess he was balls deep in her allegedly but i mean who knows who
knows what they were into
behind closed doors she could have strapped one that's a good good conspiracy
theory too do you
think they killed her oh yeah 100 right absolutely snitches bitches get snitches
is that what it is
there's stitches that happen with bitches snitches get stitches bitches who are
snitches get stitches yeah or
no stitches because you're just dead yeah you're dead you get the ultimate
stitch of life which is just
done what would if you really killed her so if you were going to write a book
today what would it be
about oh i don't know if i would do it today i don't know i maybe that maybe
this is what i should
be doing right now during this covid time but i'm using it as an excuse to uh i
don't know just not
i'm not i'm not working on stand-up at all wow first time in forever for no
writing i haven't written
anything do you feel like it's relaxing or do you feel any anxiety about having
that detached from
your day-to-day routine that's not the anxiety the anxiety is the world the
anxiety is what what's
happening right general existentialism well just the fact that the economy has
come to a complete
screeching halt and all these people are losing their jobs and all these people
are losing their
businesses and we're not exactly sure what to do because there's the hardcore
people that are like
it open it up keep the women and the old people safe you know what i mean i
know we're fine first
of all stop making us so weak okay why are we grouped into old haggard people
most people i made that
up what people are saying no but you're right it is a thing well you know women
and children yeah
which we should be for sure well on the titanic you were yeah in the titanic we
were that's why
everybody loves leonardo caprio because he died for her paint me like your
little french girl yeah but
meanwhile i'm like can't you both get on that raft i know it's not that lie on
top of each other you're
already making out like what's picked his little frozen hands off and shoved
him into the belly of
the ocean get a sign on the paper first nice drawing yeah you could write
something about parenting i mean
it must be interesting for you to be raising daughters in this climate well i
think raising sons in this
climate be just as interesting and just as weird just raising humans in this
climate what no one's ever
done before racing raising kids with full-time electronics and the internet
from the time they're
babies you know what's the good stuff is you can't people as much you know
there's like access to
information like we're trying to figure out today just now how many people died
in the 1918 flu and
you said it best you're like there's no unanswered questions anymore there's no
you can't ponder yeah
wondering and wonderment is a thing of the past it's gone it's still there but
you got you can get
answers you know it's like you could search down and get answers but i didn't
so what do we what was
it the number like 50 million died yeah totally that's that's i mean that's a
huge number yeah but
the thing that we were talking about also is i i guess i just don't understand
i understand that this
disease has a lot of unknown factors but there are so many other things that
are detrimental to our
society that it's wild that this it took this sort of situation to bring
everything to a screeching
hole globally it's a little scary and it's scary that we're using so much
resources to deal with it
i know we need to but then okay after this are we going to start to apply those
resources to deal with
you know child sex trafficking that happens in the country to deal with
homelessness to deal with
these other issues is this going to be a sort of kickstarter to be like okay
let's get our together
as a global society instead of living in our own tribal existences which doesn't
work it doesn't
work anymore whoa i'm sorry you made me you made me smoke the blunt yeah but
you're right you're right
maybe that is what we'll do next maybe listen 500 000 people in this country
alone die prematurely
because of cigarettes and we're just like well you know whatever imagine if it
was kool-aid if kool-aid
was killing half a million a year well kool-aid is diet coke but it's not sugar
kills a lot of
fuckers yeah but yes it does it does but not as clearly as cigarettes like you
can be healthy and
occasionally enjoy kool-aid i agree but don't you think sugar is just as
addictive as nicotine it's very
addictive you're right i think if we look at it from a broader spectrum they're
both equally as bad and
kill just as many people they do but i see what you're saying i don't think
they kill as many
because i think heart attacks is higher right now i guess you would have to
lump diabetes in there
too you would absolutely oh so oh it's the highest killer diabetes heart
attacks uh was number one
until kovid kovid took the number one spot on the chart coming in at number one
kovid 19. coming in
number 19 straight out of wuhan he's quick with the slips yeah killing bitches
and sneaky yes sneaky
sneaky disease that kills healthy people and then old people survive it like it's
nothing and then it
kills an entire nursing home full of people and then young people get it and
and die from it and old
people get it and brush it off and some people have zero symptoms at all as
many as 50 or more yeah it's
wild it's like the crack of diseases it's like a bunch of diseases it is it
does have a lot of
characteristics of multiple diseases and that's why that's a scary factor for
me but i'm always grossed out
i mean you and i travel we used to yeah we used to travel remember what
remember comedy but are you
enjoying the not flying all the time yeah how good is it for your body dude i
feel like i look like 15
now i'm like oh i'm chilling i got my my plumpness back i'm sleep is amazing i
don't have to deal with
particles anymore and airplanes oh god dude there's so i don't know what it is
about flying i'm sure it's
the pressure and the pressurized cabin love to fart god they let it rip on
airplanes and that's that's
covid in my face i'm fine with not dealing with the farts anymore imagine if it
was killing people
if farts were killing people if a guy could fart on a plane and half the people
on the plane died
you should have met my dad a couple of those cookies would have ripped you
right out of your seat
there's something about old man farts oh they're great they're legendary yeah
you know it's something
funny about like when you walk into a supermarket right behind an old guy who
crop dusted you and
you're like you you're not even mad at him though you can't be mad at him that
that fart went to
vietnam that was a fart that maybe you know fought some wars he deserves it
people that have been through
war have got to be like what are we doing you know what i mean like if you've
been through war and then
everyone shut the disease down people are coughing wait this is what we're
worried about obviously
it's a terrible disease i'm making light of it but it's a terrible disease
sometime which is weird
it's like you know car accidents are car accidents right your car gets hit by a
train it's the same
thing every time yeah it's an isolated situation but it's it's terrible every
time every time this is
terrible like like a car hitting a train sometimes people just die and then for
other people it's
literally nothing yeah it's really wild it's an inconsistent disease and it's
also i just don't
understand how much longer we're going to be shut down i mean the economy is
struggling so much over
this disease not just struggling like broken yes like they're gonna have to
rebuild it and it could
take a long time it scares me listen to these experts talk about it what scares
you the most about the
current situation well it's always going to be a new disease and loss of life
that's number one right so
number one is we're all scared because this disease is super infectious it's
just running through like
old folks homes there was one old folks home i believe they said 70 people died
in this one old
folks home and that's terrible on another level because those people can't bury
their family the way they
need to or want to the grieving process is interrupted by the protocol yeah you
can't even visit them in
the hospital yeah that's that's really brutal and that for that fact it makes
me really sad for families
that are losing loved ones like that older people that's why it's so crazy it's
almost like and this is
a ridiculous way to put it but i'm going to do it anyway do it if if you were
intact if this country was
attacked by an invasion of demons and they were all we did it was the kardashians
it already happened
it was a genocide for women it already happened sorry sorry continue you're
making a good point
that's what it would be like it's like some people don't even get haunted yeah
some people some people
just get a little bit of a demon and then some people get the full wrath of satan
himself that's a good
point it's just it's i was reading about this guy who was on an incubator for
more than 30 days and it
was a terrifying account of all it was in massachusetts all these different
ways they were
doing different methods they were doing to try to revive this guy and two
things i mean one thing it
made me think is like thank god there's people out there that can do this that
know how to how to
keep a guy like this a lot yeah guy who was a young guy he was like in his late
30s i believe maybe 40s
and he was uh married with little kids and you know it was a terrible story but
they figured it out and
they used some crazy machine that was it was bypassing his heart and his lungs
like it had to go in
through his leg and like like into a major artery or something like that and
they had to keep him
like basically in a coma like so that he doesn't move like an induced coma to
keep him yeah they're
just trying to pump air into him oh my god it's terrifying yeah that is
terrifying that's why this
disease is so strange it is i i laugh because it's you you made a good point
about we're lucky to have
people who know how to handle this i feel like that you know with social media
and everything those
jobs are not as appealing to people and who knows in like 50 years of another
thing like this and
we're lucky enough to be alive and it hits us instagram influencers aren't
going to be able to
intubate anybody right you know what i mean like the girl selling fit tea