Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1475 - Bridget Phetasy
Uploaded: 2020-05-16T19:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1475 - Bridget Phetasy' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1475 - Bridget Phetasy' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1475 - Bridget Phetasy

Bridgette!
Heyo!
You're here!
I came to make a citizen's arrest.
Oh, congrats. Touchy these days.
We're less than six feet apart, I believe.
I think we're okay.
Do we need to wear masks?
No, we don't. Well, you don't.
You got tested, and I've been tested too.
I got one of the Joe Rogan tests.
I feel special.
You are special.
LA, they have a number now where you could turn in businesses
that aren't complying.
What is going on?
Why? What is this?
Who's doing that? This is bad government.
Listen, there's zero effort
talking about
giving people information on how to strengthen your immune system.
Zero. Zero effort.
Zero effort talking to people
about lowering stress levels through meditation
and exercise. Zero.
Zero. The importance of keeping your body
healthy. Zero. Zero talk about this.
Yeah. Zero concentrating on
the new data that's coming in
about vitamins and all the
different vitamin deficiencies. Vitamin D.
Yes. Dr. Rhonda Patrick knocked it all out of the
park on the podcast yesterday.
Fuck, man. It's crazy. These people are just
like, stay home, locked up.
But aside from the government, snitches get stitches.
This is basic childhood etiquette.
Well, they were first given snitches
for people who are violating social
distancing, but now they're moving on to businesses
that are non-compliant.
But how are you supposed to make money?
How are you supposed to make money? I don't understand this.
Like, what is the thought box? Here's the crazy thing.
Garcetti said,
we're gonna keep L.A. on at least
partial lockdown until there's a cure.
Okay. There's not gonna be a cure,
you fucking dummy. It's a virus.
And isn't it a cold virus?
Yes. You don't cure viruses.
Yeah. Unless you find a way to eradicate it from
the actual gene pool.
But did he actually say that?
Yes. He said until there's a cure. You can't say that.
No. First of all, I'm sure what he meant
is like a viable treatment
that, you know, a vaccine,
but they're saying that even a vaccine,
there's never been a coronavirus vaccine.
Mayor, L.A. will never completely reopen
until we have a cure.
That's his quote.
That just seems,
I mean, we don't have a cure for the flu.
That poor lady who is the health lady,
someone needs to give her a steak
and let her lie outside in the sun.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ, you're the health lady.
I heard you're moving.
She looks tired. That's been on the wires.
Listen, we're all talking about it.
All of us talk about it.
Everyone. Who?
All my friends.
Callan, Schaub, Joey Diaz, everyone.
You can just go start like a Davidian ranch.
We're going to call it a cult.
We're just going to be up front about it.
All these people hide the fact they have a cult.
We're just going to call it a cult.
Ten years from now, it's just Waco and it's Joe.
Yeah, no name. We're just going to call it the cult.
We'll have the band play the cult.
Sanctuary.
That's a great band.
I would join if you started.
Super underrated band.
The cult, love removal machine.
Holy fuck, that's a good jam to work out to.
I would probably join your cult.
Thank you.
I would have you.
I would have you in my cult.
Basically have everybody if you're nice.
Just be nice and tell the truth.
And if you fuck up, tell the truth about that.
We love you.
This is the idea of the cult.
We'll just call it the cult.
Get a gigantic chunk of land somewhere and start building.
What do I have to pay?
What are the dues?
No dues.
No dues.
That's the key.
That's where everything goes wrong.
There's two ways things go wrong.
The cult leader, that's a problem.
You should never have a cult leader.
So you're not the leader.
No, there's no leader.
Can't be a leader.
It's just an amorphous cult.
Yeah, I think everybody should be informed and get to vote.
And get to vote.
That's how it should be.
Okay.
But you have to be informed.
You can't just vote.
You should get to be informed and get to vote.
You're starting your own state.
Something like that.
The state of Rogan.
But a few thousand acres.
That's all we need.
A few thousand acres in like Colorado or Montana.
And helicopters.
Yeah.
I got out of this shit.
I got some plans.
I've been looking at Idaho.
Idaho's good.
I know.
Wyoming's...
Idaho, by the way, Boise is...
I don't even want to talk about it right now on the podcast.
Yeah.
I want to blow it up for Boise.
They get mad at me when I talk about going to Idaho.
They get mad.
They're like, don't give away our secret.
Let everyone go to Texas.
I did a show in Boise a little over a year ago.
And I was like, I feel like I should not tell people about this.
Like, this is a goddamn secret.
Like, you guys have this really cool town.
Boise is this really cool town.
It's a little red.
But hey, I get along with people that are red, by the way, more a lot of times
than I get along with people that are like, ideologically left.
Like, without thinking about it.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, there's people that are left because they're compassionate.
Right.
And, you know, they want people to have freedom and the choice to do whatever
they want to do with their body.
Were you raised Democrat?
No.
Yeah.
Yes.
Democrat.
Okay.
Well, I was raised hippie.
Okay.
My parents were hippie.
My stepfather had long hair down to his ass.
My parents went from New Jersey, like, really Italian neighborhood to San
Francisco.
Oh, okay.
And then became a hippie.
But my stepdad was a hippie when my mom met him.
And then we moved across the country when I was seven.
Okay.
We lived in San Francisco in, like, in the middle of, like, where Lombard
Street is.
So you were like-
It was all just flower children and gay people and fuck this war.
Like, I was in San Francisco when the Vietnam War broke.
Oh, okay.
When I was a little kid, when it ended, when the war ended, rather.
And I remember thinking, like, wow, they're never going to have war again.
They figured it out.
Thank God.
I really thought that.
I was like, phew, because I was worried.
Because, you know, there's people that were around me that were, you know, if
there was younger folks, they were worried about being drafted.
You know?
And so you were pretty indoctrinated with all that?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
But I don't think that's what's going on here with the left today.
There's a lot of weird cult shit.
It really is like cult shit.
It's like religious shit.
It's like instead of thinking rationally and looking at the faults of both
sides, the faults of one side are completely ignored or exonerated or, you know,
you find a way to forgive it or to find out for-
You do mental gymnastics until you can let them get away with all sorts of heinous
shit.
Privacy invading shit, but going after whistleblowers, drone attacks, like
fucking across the board.
Yeah.
Everything, right?
But I would say this is true about the maggots too.
Oh, yeah.
You know, there's a certain amount of, I mean, speaking of cults, it's a little
bit like, dear leader-y.
They fell into something.
They fell into something.
You know, they fell into the spell of a powerful figure.
Right.
They feel like they don't have a word in.
Right.
They feel like they're not represented.
First of all, it's really hard for assholes to find a king.
Like, all kings are noble.
Like, most of the people that were running for president, most people that were
president, they were at least outwardly noble.
They weren't the type of people that talk shit on someone, to call someone
horse face on Twitter.
You know, so-
There's a certain amount of dignity.
They're dignified to a certain extent.
Yes.
And Trump is Trump.
Love him or hate him, he's Trump.
And assholes have a king now.
They never had a king before.
And there's a lot of assholes.
It's a large market.
Well, what's interesting, I think, on the left and what you're saying is it's
more of a religion and it's a free-floating ideology that everybody's a bit
enamored by, but they don't have that one personality that they rally around
and that they focus on.
And they feel like they don't have a voice either.
So it's very similar feelings, I think, that drive that.
And it's similar also in that the really far left people are the ones that
people point to when they mock the left, whereas the vast majority of them don't
fall into that.
Right.
And I've been hard on the left, hard on them.
And rightfully so, I think, to a certain extent, because I do see a lot of this
stuff like the language policing and the erosion of freedom of speech to a
certain extent as deeply terrifying.
But I've kind of been saying I see fascism, you know, on all sides kind of encroaching.
There's elements of it, the creepy worship of the cult of personality, the, you
know, just abiding by this mob mentality.
And I've just been I've been feeling pretty nihilistic.
But isn't it also because you've been locked up?
No, no, that's normal for me.
So what's making you feel more nihilistic?
I've never felt less optimistic about people's ability to govern themselves.
So this American experiment is supposed to be one in which it's smaller
government and we we can, you know, we're adults, we're grownups.
And now I feel like everybody's ratting on everybody else.
Everyone's looking to somebody to save them or tell them what to do.
There's this lack and it comes to the culture is just so lack of resilience,
you know, just psychological resilience.
And so I don't know, I've been feeling you don't know who to believe.
Where do you get where do you get your news from?
Where do you get your trusted news from?
It's a good question.
I don't.
I've been not getting news.
Like, I just scan through things these days.
It's so frustrating.
There's first of all, there's too many series to follow.
There's the Obamagate series.
You gotta follow that.
Nut case.
Nut case.
Nut case.
The sitting president, exiting president, literally hires or gets the FBI to
investigate Trump.
I don't know anything about Obamagate, but I did see a takedown of Obamagate.
That was pretty harsh where the guy was like, it's basically relies on you
having to believe a series of conspiracy theories in order for it to even hold
up.
And I am going to sit here right now before everyone's all like, I know nothing
about Obamagate.
And I actually don't give a shit.
That might have been an older video.
That might have been an older video.
No, it's from last night.
Mmm.
Listen to Jimmy Dore's video on it.
Jimmy Dore's video is excellent.
Okay.
And he breaks down exactly what the administration did.
Yeah.
And that it's illegal.
And that you're essentially using the FBI to spy on Trump.
And then when it turned out that all that Russia stuff that they were claiming
was going to happen didn't take place.
And that they knew it wasn't really happening to begin with.
That what they were saying was all exaggerating and hyperbole and they were
trying to turn it into something that it wasn't.
I don't know.
You don't know.
I haven't been following it.
It's not good.
It's all not good.
It's not good.
What's the other story that we need to follow?
The other series.
There's so many series.
There's so many going on right now, right?
Is Joe Biden losing his fucking mind?
Oh.
Like do they have him locked in a basement somewhere and they're pumping up
steroids and coke right before he does an interview?
Weren't they going to do like a whole Fortnite thing where he was going to be a,
you know, what are they called?
A hologram in Fortnite or something.
And I'm like, this is going to be our first hologram president.
Oh, a hologram debate, right?
Do you put anything beyond the realm of possibility at the point that we're at
though?
No.
In the world?
Doesn't it feel like we live in a fucking simulation?
It does.
Kevin Rose.
You know Kevin Rose from Dig?
He put something up on his page a couple of days ago.
I retweeted it.
It's the new Unreal Engine.
Unreal 5.
Oh, I saw that.
It's fucking insane.
It's fucking insane.
It's like movie stuff and it's in-game action.
Yeah.
So the in-game action.
Now there's a scene where the character that you're playing, it's a third