Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1476 - Patton Oswalt
Uploaded: 2020-05-19T18:30:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1476 - Patton Oswalt' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1476 - Patton Oswalt' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-05-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1476 - Patton Oswalt

Hello, everybody. I have an announcement. The podcast is moving to Spotify. I
signed a multi-year
licensing agreement with Spotify that will start on September 1st. Starting on
September 1st,
the entire JRE library will be available on Spotify as well as all the other
platforms.
Then somewhere around the end of the year, it will become exclusive to Spotify,
including the
video version of the podcast. It will be the exact same show. I'm not going to
be an employee of
Spotify. We're going to be working with the same crew doing the exact same show.
The only difference
will be it will now be available on the largest audio platform in the world.
Nothing else will
change. It will be free. It will be free to you. You just have to go to Spotify
to get it. We're
very excited to begin this new chapter of the JRE, and I hope you're there when
we cross over. Thanks.
All right, we're rolling. Patton Oswalt, how are you, fella?
I'm good. How are you doing, man?
It's good to see you. I wish I saw you right here. I wish I could give you a
hug. I wish we weren't in
the plague, but it is weird.
It is very weird. I've been trying to do your show, you know, this for so long.
My schedule is
always insane. The drive for me is restrictive because I'm usually shooting
something or doing
voiceover or something. So it took a plague.
I know. We see each other like ships passing in the night at the comedy store.
That's my
relationship with you.
Exactly. I see you in the parking lot going in or I'm going in. You're coming
out something.
We're in. God, how much do you miss just going in with a notebook of stuff and
just trying it out
to see if it works?
It's making me appreciate everything. You know, the downside of it. I mean, I
can look
at the negative. Yes, I miss it. Yes, I'm frustrated. But the positive side of
it, I appreciate
everything. I appreciate comics. I appreciate just being able to talk to you. I
appreciate
just having my friends that I can communicate with and just talking shit to
each other and
making each other laugh and saying horrible things over text messages. I
appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
If this comes back, if we get to do stand up again ever, I just feel like comedians
are going
to be so much more social and just happy to be with each other and appreciate
the being around
people where you can run jokes and they're honest enough to either tag
something brilliant or tell
you, dude, it's just, I know you think it's funny. It's so lame. Don't run down
that road.
Like I miss that. So because I, I'm trying to sit down and write every day. I
don't know what your
process is. My process is to write general ideas and then work them out on
stage and then work them
out with friends. The sitting and actually writing it, no matter how detailed I
make it, I don't know
if it's funny or not to like get it up there.
Yeah. It's a weird disconnect, isn't it?
Yeah.
My process is very similar. I write like an essay form and then I extract stuff
out of that and I turn
that into bits. That's my, or occasionally I don't write it at all. Occasionally
an idea just comes
and I start going with it and then I build it up on stage. That's rare though.
Most of the time it comes
from an essay.
Yeah. And I also, I, I miss the deleting of stuff where you write something
down or you have to,
then your mind is awesome. And you go up on stage and the beginning part's
great and the end part's
great. And you're like this whole middle section, I thought I was going to be
George Carlin and it's
just, I could lose all of that, this bit and this bit. And that's what it is.
Yeah. It's a weird art form where, where I think the only art form that I'm
aware of that you must have
an audience in order to fully create it. You can't, it doesn't get created in a
vacuum.
No. And I logged on to some early zoom open mics to watch them. I logged on
hopefully thinking maybe
there'll be, and I, five minutes in, I'm like, this is, oh God, this is awful.
I mean.
It's so bad for you. Doesn't it? Like when you watch someone who's really
terrible, it makes you think
nothing's funny. I can't do comedy. It doesn't exist. Or you watch someone who
you know is great,
but they're trying it over zoom and their mouth is dry talking 90 miles an hour.
And you're like,
maybe, maybe we shouldn't be doing this at all. And people are going to record
those sets too.
Those, those sets are going to be recorded.
Are you, you have a mix of people coming in live in person with you and then
people doing it over
remote, right? Yes. Yes. Most people are coming in live and I test all those
people.
They come in, they get the test. Yeah.
But if you get the test and you're negative, you can still get it, right?
Well, you could get it right after you walk out the door, right? It really
depends on what you're
being in contact with and what you're doing if you're smart, but right. You
know, thankfully,
everyone's honest. Like if they don't, no one said, Hey, I don't feel so good.
Maybe I shouldn't do
this. That would be weird. Um, we've been real lucky. Everybody's been negative,
but we tested a lot
of people. Uh, Dan, who is a Tim Dillon's producer, he had a false positive.
And so we had to give him a
second test and we gave him a nose swab and it turned out he was negative, but
it's, it's iffy stuff,
you know, it's, uh, until we really can tell. And then what are you going to
give up for them to
know? Are you going to give up contact tracing? Are you, are you willing to do
that? Are you really
willing to have something on your phone that shows who you've been in contact
with and who your phone
has come near and whether or not they're negative or positive? Like, Ooh, that's
a slippery slope.
That's very weird. And also are there ways, and this is, again, I know so
little about internet
testing level. Are there ways if you get tested that they can go, Oh, you
actually had it and you
recovered from it? Yes. Yes. Yeah. We do those too. Yeah. Yeah. There's a two
different, when you do an
antibodies test, there's one line that shows where, whether it's an active
virus. And there's another
line that shows that it's just the antibodies of a virus that you got and
recovered from. And a lot
of people that recover from it, apparently, uh, they didn't even know they had
it. They had no
idea they had it. Yeah. I had, I have a couple of friends who were convinced
they had it back in
January. They had every symptom that they talk about and they just thought, Oh,
well, it's flu season.
I've got a flu and they recovered and probably, but they don't want to go out
and get tested right now
because they don't want to go out. So a couple of friends feel like I had it.
So everybody thinks
that everybody thinks that, but here's the thing, like all the old colds are
still around,
like the common cold, the flu, all that stuff's still around. The flu is
different every year,
still around. It's like you, you most likely didn't have it. And you know, it's
like, it's,
it's obviously a really fucked up disease. If it gets you, if it really gets
you, it's really
fucked up, but it's, it varies so much. It's so hard to feel confident one way
or another.
It's so hard. Like I vacillate. I go back and forth all day long. Like there's
parts of my day
where I'm not worried about it at all. And there's parts of my day where I'm
like, fuck,
what if this mutates, you know? Right. Or what if I just did something that I
thought was safe?
And, but now I've met the new strain and in two weeks ago, remember how we told
you to do this?
You actually need to be doing, and it was, and also the thing that freaks me
out is they don't
know what the long-term after effects are for this. Even if you recover from it,
they're thinking that
there could be long-term, uh, bronchial issues, respiratory issues. They don't
know yet.
Yeah. They really have no idea. I was reading about this article in the times
today about,
um, children that get it, get a particular type of, uh, inflammatory disorder.
Um, that's causing
one kid was like 14 years old. He got heart failure. It's very rare out of all
the people
that have gotten it. It's like less than 200 people have got this disorder. Um,
most children,
when they come in contact with this disease, don't have an issue, but some of
them do. And this one
particular kid, uh, basically he was 14. He was having heart failure and they
don't know
why they don't know. Like it's not necessary. They used to think it was just a
respiratory
disease. And now they're like, well, what is this? So it's like, these are new
things they're
trying to figure out as they go along. Again, we're talking about this now
because we're going
through this. I just feel like, and again, I don't like to predict the future.
If we do get
to go back to doing comedy, I just feel like I'll never talk about this on
stage. The last
thing people are going to want to see on stage is my funny COVID story, which
is going to be just a
variation on everyone's funny COVID story. So there's no real, you know, I'm
not going to inflict
that on an audience. Well, if you go up 10th at the store on a Wednesday night,
it's covered, bro.
Yeah. Someone has covered it way better than you. Yeah. Move on. Let's move on.
Yeah. I think it's
one of those things that's going to be a real problem for comics. You know, I
mean, yeah, I hear what
you're saying, but on the other hand, someone will come along like a tell or
someone will come along
and you have the perfect take on it and you're like, Oh, well, there it is, you
know?
Yeah. Or on the other end of the spectrum, like Joey Diaz will come up and do
the rawest,
most personal, uncomfortable, but also brilliant takes where you're like, where
you might actually
have a unique story. But after hearing Joey, you're like, yeah, I don't need to
share mine.
Exactly. That's an interesting thing, right? Yeah. Someone's going to have a
crazy story that
you're going to go, well, I don't need to tell. Yeah. Someone will nail it.
Yeah. And hopefully
someone who's, I think first dibs go to people who caught it. Yeah. Let them,
yeah. If, if a comedian
actually gets it, maybe they get to do the bit first. Yeah. Like Michael Yeo,
Michael Yeo almost died.
I didn't know that. Oh yeah. He got it real bad. Yeah. Um, he actually was here
in studio the week
before he went to New York. He, uh, was run, burning the candle at both ends,
flies to New York with no
sleep, does radio, does all the promo shows, does everything, does stand up at
Gotham, flies back
with no sleep, drives the next day to Vegas and home from Vegas in the same day
with his family, kids
screaming. Then he has auditions for the next two days, stressed out, burnt out.
Boom. Then it hits him.
And when it hit him, it was, he felt like shit. Then his friend, uh, while he
was suffering,
one of his friends who was a doctor told him to take Advil because he said he
had a headache because
he gets migraines. He takes Advil, boom, it goes off the deep end and then he
gets it real bad.
And he was in the hospital for a week and the doctor, you know, they were
talking about putting
him on a ventilator. This is the early days of the disease, very early. This is
like, uh, beginning of
March, I think feb, end of February, end of February, beginning of March, I
think somewhere
around there. But early, early when they didn't really know, his doctor's wise.
His doctor says
if we put him on a ventilator, his heart is just gonna, his lungs are just
gonna give up and he could
die. So they don't put him on a ventilator. Then it turns out in New York City,
and they don't know if
this is a correlation or causation, obviously, but 80% of the people they put
on the ventilators wound up
dying. And his doctor, yes, yeah, yeah. Could be that they wound up dying
because they were so far
gone, they were going to die anyway. Could be they were going to die because of
what this doctor said.
Because if you put people on a ventilator when their, their lungs are working
and t