Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1486 - Honey Honey
Uploaded: 2020-06-05T19:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1486 - Honey Honey' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1486 - Honey Honey' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-05. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1486 - Honey Honey

What if we like wrote you a new theme song what if we just like start pitching
theme songs you can do that really?
Yeah, I'm cool. Yeah, then we're rolling. We're actually we're rolling right
now. Yeah
How did the band get back together because it literally the band is back
together like you know that expression you say with your friends
Bro, the bands back together. Yeah, they haven't even said that shit. Yeah, the
bands back together
Bam the bands
Yeah, so bands back together started via coved. Ah, we were kind of mad at each
other is what binds us
Yeah, we were a little mad at each other. I was just keeping together and then
I got really I got really worried about Ben
the person I live with
Thought we made maybe did have coved at a time. It turns out he he tested
negative
But he had acute laryngitis at the same time. Oh, so we're just like oh see
that like all those other diseases
Don't take a break like oh, it's great. No, didn't get bronchitis. No, he had
cute laryngitis
Well, either way I was like real mad at you at the time and I was like I
Really love Ben and I'd be really bummed if I didn't if there weren't a Ben and
I
Then we started talking hanging out
Sometimes that's all it takes. You know, we all get set in our ways
You get these grudges and these stupid things he stick in your I think the best
shit
Not worth it camaraderie not yeah friendship and love. That's the best shit
It's like whatever you kind of do and most people want that
If you ever felt that for someone at one point in time, you probably would feel
it again
You just whatever shit you have together. You just got to talk it out
Talk it out and don't carry grudges. Yeah
To carry grudges is the worst. Well, we had to we needed to step back for a
minute
Yeah, we had some work to do on ourselves and like, you know, we got we took
two years
Yeah, really where we didn't speak much. I don't know when we did
By the way, shout out to balls of steel from the old
Balls of steel!
You brought us all together!
Oh my god
Lives in infamy
That's an inside story, huh?
God, how long? It's been a while now
Still never revealed himself
Yeah
What if it was us the whole time?
It was us the whole time
Well, you were right you had to be talented
The the video he sent was you guys do an angel of death acoustic on the roof of
a building in LA
So crazy
That building is right now on fire
Probably
Jesus Christ
Rightfully so
Oh my god
God damn it
Yeah, when we were practicing last night, there was an earthquake
Oh Jesus
And I was just like watching like my living room kind of and I looked at Ben
and I was like
Fuck! No! What?
Yeah, well it's like laryngitis doesn't stop. The earthquake doesn't stop
It's like god saying bam
Just a little one
Shake it up
Bam!
See that's why I don't say bam
Could've been saying titties
He could've been saying a lot of things
He's god
Titties
Invented all languages
And all things
Yeah
All the bad words
God invented those too
God invented racial slurs
So we have to work it out
Oh god
So he did
He left us with the word
He invented
All the
It's
I really need
We need to find a good one for white people
You know
We really need to balance this out
Yeah
A good
Juicy slurs
There's not a solid one
Chad's
It's not
It's Karen's
Karen is one
What's the white one?
Brock?
Chad?
Chad's
Bradley's
I think it's Chad's
I think Bradley feels
Sure
Yeah
A lot of poor Bradleys out there
They're gonna suffer
But there's a lot of good Bradleys
Like what's that Bradley the actor?
Bradley Cooper?
That guy's badass
He's a really good actor
Super great
So you can't be a Bradley
But there's a lot of cool Chad's
Yeah Brad Pitt
Sorry
There's a lot
Chad Ward
Chad Dawson
There's a lot of great boxers named Chad
Yeah
Shit
Yeah
Can't even go with Chad
I don't know
Jamie what do you got?
Turn it around
Jamie can't say shit
He's got a girl's name
Whatcha gonna do?
Hey
Whatcha gonna do?
There's nothing wrong with that Jamie
Just open it
Calm it down
Yeah
There's nothing wrong with having a girl's name
Let's move past gender Joe
I've had to deal with that my whole life
Bro I'm sure you did
I'm sure you did
Listen
You know I love you Jamie
Don't spell it that way Joe
You know I love you
I mean you could be a Kim
What's a different way with girls?
Is J-A-M-I with no E?
Most of them spell it with an I before the M
That's why he's Jamie with no E
He's a Y
Oh no
We're gonna piss off a lot of Jamie
Stacey's a rude one to name a boy
Stacey's tough
That's rude
Leslie's kinda tough
Leslie's rude
It's on the edge
You hate your kid
It's like a boy named Sue
It's a Johnny Cash song
Johnny Cash wrote a goddamn song about it
Michelle Sturstein wrote that
Oh that's right
That's right
Johnny Cash sung it
That was a great fucking song
Truth
That's a great fucking song
I like boy names for girls
I think that always like Bobby or Billy
If they're hot they can pull it off
Yeah yeah
I've actually
I wanted to name a girl named Gary
If I ever procreated
Would you do that to that poor little kid?
Yeah but she'd be like the fucking coolest Gary on the planet
That's one thing she would probably get over people fucking with her real early
in life
You know what I mean?
Cause sometimes like if you don't know
That's not how the boy named Sue song went though
No
He didn't pan out so well
If that's the cautionary tale
Then it didn't work out
But who knows what Gary's gonna be dealing with in 15 years
Shit's gonna be crazy
She doesn't care
She's gonna be
I think she's gonna be crushing it
People will be beyond that
I am not ready to have children so
Well then don't have kids
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Cool cool cool cool
One thing that the kid zealots like to do
Is they like to pretend that everybody needs to have kids
In order to be valuable in this life you need to have kids
Interesting
That's a lot of fucking pressure on people
Is that a thing?
Sure
You know what it is?
When someone's doing something
They think you should be doing it
Right
Like you talk to someone who just started meditating
And they can't shut
That's me
I can never shut the fuck up about what I like doing
Yeah yeah
I'm always trying to get people to do things
You know
That's the thing with people with kids
Dude you gotta have a fucking kid
Yeah
You gotta have a fucking kid
Trust me
Where's your life?
What are you doing?
You're not gonna have children?
You're not gonna procreate
Your name's not gonna carry on
Settle down man
That's never resonated with me
Like a legacy
Of like
Cause you don't have a penis
No but like as you know
But even with my career
I just wanna play music
Like I don't really think about
Like what's gonna last when I'm dead
There's nothing wrong
You're a great person
There's nothing wrong with any way
Of approaching this life
Have children
Don't have children
Sing music
Don't sing music
You can do whatever the fuck you want
You're a great person
And I do
Thank you
I appreciate that friend
Thank you
That's why I have two cats
People put pressure on folks
That they have to have kids
Or their life is not valid
Meaningful
Probably cause they're having trouble
Dealing with the pressure
Of having kids maybe
Maybe but it's all silly
Cause you don't live forever
No one
Your children won't live forever
No one lives forever
You live
You die
You gotta keep moving
While you're alive
You should just be happy
Yeah
Just be happy
You're contributing
Everyone's contributing
Whether you have kids
Or don't have kids
When you don't have kids
You have the option
To love and support the kids
In your peripheral area
Sure
Like my nieces and nephew
And stuff
And my friends kids
And then you can go home
And you don't have to deal
With the other shit
Yep
Sure
So
You know
Selfish
But then for me
It was a strong education
Education in humanity
And just learning how to be a person
A different kind of person
A person that raises little people
A person that's responsible for babies
Of course
It's a totally different feel
It's like
Yeah
It fucks with your head
You know
For a lot of people
It creates a ton of anxiety
Right
Existential angst
And fear about the future
Well the thing is
If I were to have kids
I would
Like being a mother
Would be
Like the number one priority
Like nothing comes before then
Right
And you know
I would take that seriously
And it's just something that
You know
When you think about
And I'm like
Like now's the time
How old are you now?
Am I allowed to ask a lady?
Yeah
I'm 35
We still pull it off for a few years
I don't age shame
You know
I'm really happy with where I'm at
I think that's so funny
When people get really
Squeamish about that
Like okay
Well they feel like
They only have a certain amount of time
To grab that lightning in the bottle
And be validated
And you know
Some people just think
That you gotta
It's gonna burn out quick
And then life is gonna suck
Right
You know
Somebody age shamed me once
And was like
You're almost 40
And I was like
What's wrong with 40?
Was this online?
No
That sounds like a YouTube comment
Unfortunately no
That was in real life
Someone said that?
Yeah
A guy you know?
Yeah let's know
Oh rude
How weak
But I mean again
Why would someone do that?
They're trying to make you feel bad
Cause they don't feel good
That's what it is
It's always the case
It's no one who feels great
He's on top of the world
He said
The Dalai Lama's not out there
Leaving shitty YouTube comments
What if he was though?
Imagine if he was
Secretly like
Did you ever see the video
He got
I don't know if you know this
But he got cancelled for a little while
No
What did he do?
Yeah the Dalai Lama got cancelled
Yes yes yes
I bet he dealt with it fine
He did this
He was actually talking about this exact same subject
He did this interview
Where they said
You know you're celibate
And have you ever thought about being married
Or having children
He goes
Oh I've seen a lot of marriages
Much wordy
Much cancer
And he goes
Plus
When they break up
A woman get all the money
Ha ha ha ha
He's like joking around
And the lady's like
What the fuck?
This is the Dalai Lama?
Oh no
Oh boy
And then she goes
She actually tries to social justice her way out of it
Cause you know
She's out
She gotta confront him
She goes
Actually sometimes
The woman makes her own money
Oh shit
And he's like
Oh good one
He's just like
Oh
And sometimes
Oh no
And so they just put him in time out for a minute
People were saying
Should we cancel the Dalai Lama?
It was really funny
It was really funny
He's like
You can cancel him if it needs to happen
I see people
Then I see him
Like a couple years later
New person
New girlfriend
Much worry
Much cancer
Still holding that line
Plus he talks about how women want to spend all the guys money
I'm like
This is hilarious
But has he had a girlfriend?
Never
I don't think
He maybe doesn't know about that stuff
That's guesswork
You should tell him
It's straight guesswork
Yeah
Yeah
I don't think that's part of the job
What I've heard
Yeah he doesn't know
He didn't know
That life is a strange life
You know they picked him when he was a baby
He was like a little kid
Right
He was a little kid
They picked him and they said
You're the fucking man bro
Imagine that
When the last one dies
He was really young
And the last one dies
They pick a new one
Yeah
They have a slate of little babies
They're like
Could be you
Could be you
Could be you
How is that monitored?
They just have a vibe
It's like a council of
Is there a hat?
Is there a hat?
And you put a bunch of names in it?
Or is it like a
I'm not there
I haven't seen it done
I don't know
Is it required that he's celibate?
Is that part of the gig?
Imagine that
That's so rude
Can't you come to me like in my 50s?
Yeah
Why do you want to come to me as a holy man when I'm seven?
Yeah
You don't have the choice yet
You cut off the sex at seven?
Never
Wait
No they don't
Okay sorry
I misinterpreted
I'm saying they're not allowed to ever have sex
No no no no
I didn't think so
Once you said it I was like
Is this something I don't know?
Cut off the sex is really a rude way to pu