Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1495 - Kyle Dunnigan
Uploaded: 2020-06-19T19:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1495 - Kyle Dunnigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1495 - Kyle Dunnigan' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-19. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1495 - Kyle Dunnigan

Do
Kyle Dunnigan smoking marijuana. This is dangerous. You're gonna go crazy. You
think yes, don't you watch those movies?
I forgot about that. Yeah pot drugs will make you crazy. They'll make you nuts
Are you talking about those old videos the old-timey black and white where they
live from madness? Yeah? Yeah?
Do you know where those are those were funded by? Oh, William Randolph Hearst.
Is that right? Yeah, that piece of shit
He was a piece of shit, right? Yeah, and his daughter brought a gun into a bank
Wow, why maybe she want to protect her money? She's rich as fuck so she's robbing
the place. Do I have the wrong person?
Patty Hearst. Patty Hearst. That's right. Yeah must be related, right? What is
she the granddaughter?
I think she's the granddaughter because she's too young to be the daughter. I
like the way of no information. Let's go with it
But let's broadcast it to millions
Write this down kids. Get a pen. Yeah, well Patty Hearst. Yeah, that's right.
Well
William Randolph Hearst is also the reason why there's wild pigs in California
How's why is that? Because that asshole brought them to his ranch. He wanted to
have a menagerie
I think that's the correct term menagerie of animals. He's a nutty person. You
could visit Hearst Castle. It's this crazy place
Yeah, yeah, I want to go there. It's so Northern California has kind of an infestation
of wild pigs
And it's because directly because of William Randolph Hearst really the pigs
that left his compound to start fucking and running through the woods like
There it is. That's the that's the place. I feel you could solve that. It's bow
and arrow. No, it's very hard to solve
Well, wild pigs are the hardest
Animal to solve in terms of like invasive species because they fuck like crazy
and they breed like three times a year
So one pig can have like three litters in a year. So pigs love to fuck
They love always dirty pigs. There's something in Hawaii where they had some
infestation and they brought in this other animal to get it
But they brought the wrong animal and then that became the infestation again
something I don't have enough information about
Yeah, I think that's I think you're incorrect about that because for something
that could kill pigs
It would have to be a big predator like a cat. Oh, no, this wasn't pigs look at
different infestation
It was okay. It was slowly slightly related to your story
Well, I know they did that in Australia Australia fucked themselves up hardcore
They brought in animals to kill animals and those animals wound up running amok
and killing everything. That's what always seems to happen
Yeah, they brought in cats like house cats. They have an infestation of wild
house cats in Australia
But it's kind of cute though. I mean it's better than but it's sick because
People hunters are like paid to hunt cats like people are paid bounties for
house cats
So in Australian hunting magazines, you'll see guys holding up a house cat.
What do you get per cat?
I don't think you get a lot
Can't think you can't live off like your cat. I think it tells yeah, I don't
think it's not like beaver pelts or anything like that
It's really valuable. How high is this is this gonna make I gotta stop. We're
already gone. We're already gone
Really hit it four times man. I'm already not starting off with a lot of IQ
points. I can't
Come down a few points. We're spitting facts, son. Yeah. Yeah, wild animal
fucking wild cats
you're the one who told me about the
Mustard weed and once you said that I can't not see mustard weed. Isn't that
crazy?
I think it came from Russia that crazy beautiful yellow weed that covers the
hills in California. It's really pretty. It's awesome
I thought it was pretty too. You told me it was a weed now. I think it looks
gross. Isn't that weird?
You call one plant one thing another plant. It's a fucking plant. Yeah, like we're
we're really racist with plants
We are we're plantists, you know, we're plantists
So if you see like a beautiful green grass, but it's got some weird like daisies
popping up people get mad at those daisies
They're nice fucking daisies ruining my grass. They'll go pluck them rip them
out of their life. Fuck you
You're not what I want. Yeah, they're very I have a form. What's that? They
want uniform just all the grass. I right, right
Isn't that a weird thing that we do a long lawn is a weird thing. How so we're
Controlling nature on a large scale in our own community our own little yard
We have a little spot and we lock it down. We want that grass nice
Want that grass nice and cut clean. Yeah, it's a thing like people sit back
Like what what is happening with grass?
Like when you see grass, why does it make you feel so good? Like I don't play
golf, but I feel good when I see a golf course
I see all that green like oh, that's nice. I guess it is. It's uniform. You
could walk on it
Yeah, there's no danger. It's nice for your feet, but it's also you you
controlled that shit like the men
Took that grass and bend it to their will. Yeah, that feels good. Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck you. Yeah, fuck you
Only grass. Fuck you trees. You ever get we ever go weeding? Yeah, fuck trees
People chop trees down fuck off tree. Yeah, I don't want you there. That's a
manless job the lumberjack. Oh
For sure. How many chick lumberjacks are there?
Three those got to be the toughest women on the planet lumberjack chicks like
it's like mm female MMA fighters like Amanda Nunez and then lumberjack chicks
after the
After the chainsaw though, it's a little bit like it's still it's dangerous as
fuck. Yeah, you got to do it
Right things go wrong all the time people get hit with trees
We've talked about everything. I don't know anything about me too. I don't know
I'm talking about maybe people never get hit by trees
I'm pretty sure they do though. I think it's actually pretty safe
It turns out lumberjacks never died. Yeah, they live older than everybody. No,
I think they think they die all the time
I think well, I just there if you see a fucking tree like a big-ass oak tree my
god
That's a lot of weight. Yeah, that thing could crush you. So yeah
If you fuck up and it hits it takes a bounce and it hits somebody or I mean
I don't know how you chop trees down, but you're just dealing with so much
weight. Yeah
I could imagine like someone fuck like if you don't know what you're doing
You're an asshole and you just bought a plot of land. I'm gonna be a farmer and
you start chopping down trees by yourself
Yeah, you could kill yourself easy. You gotta do the wedge. I
Know what I'm talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about either
But they do have a method to it, but but I wonder how many women that would be
a crazy reality show
They probably have already done it female lumberjacks
Yeah, they had that lumber they do that weird thing where they climb a pole
real quick. They do lumberjack contests contests
He's like yeah, I remember those you run on a log. Yeah. Yeah in the water,
right?
The logs that comes up a lot you know when you're crossing a stream she's got a
lumberjill
Oh, is that what they call them just looked it up. Oh, okay?
I don't need to be disrespectful. I just talk a lot of shit a lot of guys
wanting the lumberjill
Calendar you know what I mean right right number. Oh, there they are some big-ass
women
Big strong women that'll fuck you up. You like a strong woman Joe. Yeah a big
I don't want to check can't carry things. Oh
Yeah, she's these are girls are throwing axes and shit. Oh my god
Yeah, that's a tough stock if you wanted to make like a warrior child you find
one of them women
Yeah, they can get through a winter. Hell yeah
Yeah, they can they can walk to the road. Did you find a lumberjill TV show? I
think he did
See, we just took a guess and there's a fucking show about it. There's a show
about everything
You know, there's like a fun game you could play. We're like try to name and
come up with an app that doesn't exist
And it's actually really hard. Oh my god
I would imagine there's a bunch of wizards like really smart kids sitting
around trying to do that right now. Yeah
I didn't take the picture with the sword. Is that at the end? You can take a
picture with a sword
Awesome, and don't you have like this like whiskey you give everybody? Do you
want some whiskey? Is this too much? No sure no
Come a little bit a little bit haven't seen you in forever man now with the
comedy store embargo
It's just beautiful to be in the room with you. I know it actually is really
nice. It's fun humans
Oh, it's so nice to be with comics
Yeah, like Doug Stanhope said this best and I quote him all the time, but it
really is a great quote
He said I could quit comedy, but I couldn't quit comics. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.
Yeah. I when I'm around
Normie Normie's Normie's Normie's Normie's like I I started dating
This was my big year to date I'm like cuz I've been focusing on like career
stuff, whatever and I'm like I'm gonna date in 2020
Wow, this is my big year and there's the kovat
Yeah, but I got an apps and I met a couple of girls
I was chatting with bored out of my I mean sweet nice people but just when you
don't know someone
I'm not doing them being a comic yes
It's like if you've never met them you're not you know
Hooking up and having dinners whatever just to talk to a stranger on the phone
about their cat
It's I I had to end all that some people don't know what it sounds like when
they talk
Yeah, they just drone on and they don't seem to know
Yeah, you're like, oh my god, you're killing me. You're not even paying
attention. Yeah, that I'm not I can't take what you're saying
Yeah, read the room just blah blah blah blah
Some people just have some shit in their head and they're gonna get it out.
They're gonna vomit it out onto your ears. It's abuse
It doesn't matter how long it takes yeah, and they're gonna repeat themselves
And they're gonna like make a big deal out of shit. That's not a big deal and
you're gonna want to run through a fucking wall
Yeah, but you gotta listen all that so maddening it feels like you're like your
life is passing you by and you're dying
It is maddening, but the good thing is what it really does. I'm a bright side
of the what is it?
What's that coin the bright side of the coin? I believe it's not a real
expression
I
Mixed up my expressions. I'm a glass the glasses came down. I'm a glass glass
full of coins. Um, I
Don't know. This is the good stuff, right?
Buffalo trace
So I gotta be someone's got to put a little cap on me
Yeah, dude, I'm so hot. I forgot what we're talking about
No, I feel bad for any listener. We want to make a public apology. Yeah already.
We fucked this thing up. We're both having trouble thinking to
2020 to the greatest year of all we're gonna make this is what do they call it
a mulligan those dudes who played golf
Oh, do you get no what's a mulligan mean?
You gotta do over
Let's just scratch this whole year. That'd be great
I like to toast to things people don't agree with like at the last minute. They've
already committed to 9/11
And then you've already clinked how rude I know I think there's gonna be a lot
of good that comes out of this year
I really do
This I like talking about positive stuff. What are you thinking is well, I
think people are realizing that society and
civilization hangs on by a thread in some cases and
You know when a series of events can happen it could derail our life radically
I don't think people were really aware that that was possible before I
Think there's a lot of things going on. There's a lot of competing mindsets and
competing ideologies
And there's a lot of anger going on in the world right now
And then there's this fucking fear that comes with a pandemic everything like
pandemics ramp up everything like
This is how you have to think about it. We're thinking about it. It's just a
pandemic
But it's also if there's a mind disease like a fear disease that's sweeping
through the land, too
Right, and I feel like it's like like you're
You'