Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1496 - Colion Noir
Uploaded: 2020-06-23T19:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1496 - Colion Noir' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1496 - Colion Noir' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-23. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1496 - Colion Noir

boom and we're live hey great to see you thank you for being here appreciate
you man i wore this
just for you hey yeah i like it i like it um and thank you for the gift too man
you're just pandering
at this point brother no come on man i do i wore this for you i had it i knew i
had it i had to go
find it my daughter's friend's ex-boyfriend worked for glock ah okay okay um
yeah no i had to get
your gift man so it's uh it's uh so my life pod it's like my portable safe
because you know out here
in california you have to if you're going to travel with the firearm right it
has to be in a
locked case right and so when i travel out here to california i do bring a
firearm with me i can't
carry because my you know my license isn't recognized out here but i can keep a
gun in like my hotel and
so what do you have to do to like ted nugent can carry everywhere because he's
like a sheriff or
some yeah there's always you know you have those little special licenses yeah
you gotta you gotta
did you ever see the steven seagal show the tv show where he was a cop uh
it's like steven seagal lawman or some but it's a real i think i was younger
when he when it came
out he was a real cop uh-huh like he was arresting people like he was showing
up in people's houses
you know with a gun drawn they're like are you steven seagal like hey man what's
going on here
wait hold on so it was like a reality show a reality show this is it right here
yeah and he would pull
people and because he was in new orleans he developed this give me some some
volume on this you
get to hear his accent oh we'll get we'll get kicked off of youtube if we give
us a vault but
you've got to watch on your own he developed his like see this louisanna accent
oh yes he did oh
yes he did oh yes he did oh yes he did oh yes he did it was me and my friend
tom segura's favorite
show we would talk to each other about it crazy because i grew up watching this
dude so it's like
he's literally running around yeah wrestling people ridiculous you know i make
fun of that dude all the time
and he deserves it but he was a legit aikido master suspect that we're looking
for is sitting on the
ground right there see now that's a normal accent it varies it varies widely
and wildly depending
upon who he's actually talking to this is so real sometimes he's talking to
certain folks he'll put
on like a deep louisiana so so how do i open this bad boy so is this your brand
yes so basically i teamed
up with this company called valtech that's when you know you're a real gun nut
you got your own gun safe
i think it only made sense so how do i uh open this thing all right so
basically there's there
isn't a battery in it yet but what you would do is you see those clamps on the
side yeah so you put
the clamps on that makes it watertight okay and so it's more it's a lifestyle
case also lifestyle
yeah so like there are people i just did a post where somebody was on a jet ski
and he had his like
all his valuables and contents in there because it floats oh okay oh oh yeah i
see what you're saying
so he dropped in the water anything like that oh it says here the pew pew life
get it gun people don't know what the that means if you say life yeah gun
people are non-gun people
not excuse me non-gun people yeah no they don't they don't they're kind of like
what church you
mean like pews in a church i was like what does that mean pew pew like stinky
yeah like i wore a
shirt one time and lady was like what does that mean i was like guns she was
like oh oh jesus people
this is one of the reasons why i contacted you i contacted you right when the
looting hit
because that's racist no because there were a lot of white people looting it
was a thing where i
recognized that there was a giant shift in people's perception of the second
amendment and i said
this is a good time for you again appreciate it brother yeah because you're out
there beating the drums
and sounding the alarms and all these people that are anti-second amendment
people where a lot of these
motherfuckers that were lined up in california trying to buy a gun last minute
because as soon as the
lockdown hit people started getting really nervous when people started getting
locked in their homes
and then uh people when they realized they weren't going to work people started
worried about people
stealing and there's things along those lines um i heard about people getting
car jacked and uh or or
getting their groceries jacked rather where they're headed to their car from
the grocery store
things got real weird and then you saw these giant lines at these la gun stores
and that's when i got a
a hold of you because gotcha i i think it's very it's a really important
conversation i think you're
the best at explaining it from a very rational perspective that you know people
in during the
times before covid they didn't think that this was important yeah but you were
always one of those
guys where it was like hey what if goes down yeah well guess what went down it
did it's kind of like
me carrying a firearm you know a lot of people ask me they're like when i
started carrying a gun i'm like
why why do you need the care gun like what do you think you're a drug dealer or
something i'm like
look it's nothing for me to take my my my phones my wallet my keys and then put
my gun on and go
about my life it's nothing for me to do that yeah and it's not much of a it's
not much of an
of encumbrance on my life where it's like okay it's not worth the day-to-day of
me carrying a firearm
but if i ever needed it that's going to be the most important thing i have on
me to protect that life
so it's a small price to pay for something that has such a huge upside if it
ever happens this yeah
you're a best case scenario though you're you're a lawyer you're super
intelligent you're a really
nice guy but you also love guns look what people are worried about is worst
case scenario they're
worried about someone who's a criminal who just wants to rob people who has
this ultimate power over
folks and that's what everybody's worried about when it comes to guns they're
worried about a school
shooter you know they're worried about a mass murderer they're worried about a
guy who breaks
into a mosque and starts gunning people down that's what they're worried about
and that just i i
totally get it yeah like i really truly honestly get it i know empathize and
sympathize with that
but my whole thing is this once we move past that understanding of so you know
you have the best
case scenario which you pointed out was theoretically me so to speak and then
you have the worst case
scenario where you have you know criminals you have crazy people mass shooters
things of that nature
once we get out of that realm so let's talk about the reality because you know
there's overlaps right
so i usually ask people well what law are you going to come up with that's
going to completely stop that
no one knows now i'm not saying that because i have the absolute answer but
what i can tell you is this
if we don't know what law we can come up with that's going to completely stop
that because you can
say ban you can ban all the guns tomorrow you're still going to have crime you're
still going to have
those crazy people doing those same things we have 300 million over 300 million
guns in this country
not going anywhere you can ban them from law-abiding citizens and we'd have to
deal with that as it
comes but at the end of the day criminals are still going to get their hands on
guns and so what you have
to understand and accept is from a reality standpoint if you know that when all
the barriers that are placed
to prevent these things don't work the only person that's going to be able to
do anything about it is
you and you want the best thing possible at your disposal to contend against
that and that's that's
what the firearm does i'm do i glorify firearms to a degree yes but that's
because i'm a firearm enthusiast
i love them from a very practical scientific um engineering exactly and even
from a sports uh
entertainment all of those things right it's very holistic in that regard but
for people who just
understanding it from a practical perspective like okay from self-defense if
that's the only box you
want to live in perfect that makes that's perfectly fine with me i just have a
problem where people
say things like well no one needs to have a firearm but then you're perfectly
aware of all the violence
and everything else that goes on in this country and you understand the
limitations of the of the first
responders that we have in place to be able to prevent it and if you understand
that theoretically
speaking you're on your own and i don't mean that from the very sadistic kind
of you know no way out
kind of perspective but it's just reality reality cases and we just learned and
we're learning it now
with the whole covet situation yeah you're on your own well not just covet
right like how about um i have
my friend john joseph he lives in new york city and in new york city there's uh
there's a lot of cops
that are quitting and there's a lot of crazy going on he sent me a text message
he has a buddy that works
in harlem as a cop and he said there was 28 shootings in one night which is
just bonkers
and this guy is again he said and this is new york yeah this is a harlem so he
sent me this is the list
of all the shootings that he sent me this is his his buddy's 21 years old and
he's working um in uh in
harlem keep keep in mind new york has by far some of the strictest gun it's
literally one of the only
places that when i travel to i will not bring a gun yeah i was going to bring
that up and then the other
one i was going to bring up is chicago which is very similar in that regard
yeah and there's a
there's a running total online there's a website that shows all the shootings
in chicago and it's
fucking bonkers like i mean just look look at what just happened father's day i
think it was like 102
people shot yeah that's fucking ridiculous fucking crazy and but here's the
thing about that too there's
there's a consistency and a pattern behind these types of shootings it's not
even like so usually when
you deal with a problem the first thing you do is you try to look for a pattern
to see if you can
figure it figure out a pattern so you can try to solve it yeah um and you see
okay what what's the
common denominator of all these things and then why is it and you can figure
out start to figure out why
it happens the idea that we're going to create laws that's going to stop
something that's so centralized
and it's so it's it's there's a fundamental cause for the types of violence
that we're talking about
right now because they're happening in very specific areas of our country this
isn't widespread right it's not
like it's like we just have this mass violence across the country uh on the
contrary violence
violent crime is actually going down if you look at it from a statistical
standard however there are
very there are pockets within our country right that have this violence and
there's consistencies within
that pocket one of the big ones being gun laws not not gun laws extreme poverty
oh okay you
know what i'm saying because a lot of it is is our inner cities because if you
think about it
it some people like to even place it base it upon race right and then say okay
well this is a black
on black violence issue yeah i can understand that but however if you really
think about it think about
some of the most affluent black neighborhoods in the country we don't have
those problems right
so it's a poverty issue exactly and it's also an issue of in chicago in
particular i um took a ride
once i had a um the guy was driving us was a former cop and he was saying that
they arrested a bunch of
the high level drug dealers and they created a power vacuum and then it started
this crazy war and then
this war is just and he's like no one knows how to get out of it no one knows
what to do about it this
is why south 