Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1507 - Bob Saget
Uploaded: 2020-07-14T19:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1507 - Bob Saget' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1507 - Bob Saget' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-14. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1507 - Bob Saget

yee-haw bob saget i am happy i am actually excited to be i'm excited to be
anywhere but
i'm especially excited to be talking to you i'm excited to be talking to you
too thank
you and we tested you you're clean buddy i am you're free and clear of the
virus i did
i usually have like uh uh trump had someone take his sat i usually have someone
take my
covet test for me did trump have someone take his sd yeah true yeah it's true
apparently but
i don't know what's what's true right what the hell is true anymore well
anything before
the internet is hard and even during the internet it's hard because they splice
things up and
edit oh it's all sound bites you could you could hate anybody or love anybody i
know it's you
know what's weird man is um when the the deep fake stuff like how long do we
have before
you don't know what you're seeing how long do we have before you know we see
like a world
leader declaring war on us and we don't know if it's real yeah correct how long
i i say
now i mean somebody could do it right now i mean but i don't i don't know
because north
korea could could fire a missile and it wouldn't go anywhere i don't think i
like how they introduce
new players like now you have to be worried about the sister right i noticed
that like the evil
sister and she's thin so you probably think she's mean she will be she's gonna
be very mad oh
she'll be a karen a karen imagine if your kid's named karen what a bummer that
must be
if you're a nice person named karen and then karen well it's like corona beer i
mean i can't
believe they had to stop that that's that makes me sad i mean they stopped the
name that's what
i'm told they stopped making it now i don't know if that's true that's the
source i heard but i still
enjoy a corona i'm not a fucking child i like corona light but what am i gonna
do and then and
then aids candy that was a smart move you had to stop that diet candy yeah it
makes you lose weight
it's ironically sad most people don't even know what we're talking about it's a
y d s right correct
that's what it's called it was a diet candy like a chocolate yeah that you
would eat i never took it
i mean it's like the x-lax for dieting oh is it like a well x-lax actually
helps you diet also
but all it does is just get rid of the food that's in your body it's not
healthy no no i was somewhere
once that i was on a modium because i was having a rough day i don't know what
happened that's another
diuretic right or it's constipator yeah i mean it's it's it it solidifies
suppressant candy oh so
it's an appetite suppressant so it's not a no it's x-lax x-lax makes you yeah
it's a laxative it helps
it makes you shit diarrhea explosive explosively if you eat the whole box you
can shit yourself to
death you could od on it what is barf what is barf barf detergent it said oh
that's funny
barf barf detergent is that real they didn't discontinue it because people
vomit did they find
out they really did discontinue corona beer that sounds so ridiculous it sounds
that's what i heard
from somebody classic there was also a candy called anal warts that they
decided to take off the market
you know that's the kind of shit that i see why do i do it you never went there
you couldn't help
yourself i i you know what it is all those years of full house they were taking
these actions in order
to comply with the measures taken by production of corona beer halted the group
see and i don't
understand why it had to be because they're fools they're just chicken shit
that doesn't make any sense
nobody gives a fuck you're not gonna doesn't even correlate it doesn't
correlate to me no it doesn't
what it's not called covid by the way right and corona coronaviruses occur
every single year and now
we can't see those ads of cool looking people gorgeously shot at the beach with
the lime and the beers
right there mark norman had a funny bit about that so he put it on instagram
but like it's almost like
they already knew because like they're always someone alone yeah it's one
person in an ice bucket with
four beers or two people i think i don't think it was because because of the
name corona i think it's
just because of the like lockdown period when people couldn't be at work bro
somebody sent me
something about mexico holy shit i had no idea there were that many deaths
every day in mexico
there are so many murders right now in mexico yeah holy fuck it's crazy this is
a bad week for murder
yeah this is this is bad for mexico mexico but all over the states too it's
been like crazy crazy in new
york city well they told cops that first of all cops are trying to they're
retiring left and right in new
york and um then they told them they can't restrain people by putting weight on
them they can't put a
knee on their back or their neck or any other place and they can't administer
choke holds and there's all
these jujitsu guys who train cops that are they're like henner gracie put a
video on his instagram page
he works a lot with cops jamie henner gracie and um explaining why this is a
terrible idea like
you can't control someone any other way unless you use violence unless you hit
them with things they
used to be the old nut squeeze is that back in the day well you can meet
somebody yeah so he's a
warning to mayor de blasio but de blasio is a fool man he's he's a foolish
person well we have to have
order but we also have to have peace well i don't know how we are so we are so
up right now so up it
got so far gone in so many of these precincts and so many of these uh these
these look at this one guy
who literally does not know how to grapple and this cop tries to take him down
and well do you think
there's adrenaline and adderall on a person that that is that i think that cop
didn't know what the
he was doing this is the thing these cops don't they they should all be you
know um andrew yang said
it best he said every cop should be like a purple belt in jujitsu he's right
everyone should know or
judo or something they should know no you're right how to wrestle how to defend
themselves and a lot of
cops don't know anything they literally don't know how to defend themselves so
then they're left with
weapons there should also be a psychological training oh yeah as well i
understood i heard someone speak i
believe it was um who's our carl sagan uh he's neil degrasse tyson lovely guy
um is that what you're
talking about uh neil degrasse tyson yes thank you sorry i didn't hear the
first part i'm going deaf
slowly are you i don't have corona but the left ear's out really no i took a
day quill did you
ever play in a rock band or anything i have really well i i i can beat i play a
guitar i play guitar
stamos plays the drums yeah true you guys get together we do he has a band room
we haven't done
it in a while because we can't right now yeah you can just get tested well you're
not going to get
mike love from the beach boys to take covet i don't think no you won't do it i
love that you gave me
one i love that you personally but i love that i had one just now well it's i
think it's important
for everybody to know because you can get a mind yourself and think you have it
i've mind myself a
bunch of times like am i short of breath we've all done it we do it at night it's
a panic attack yeah
and it could be just i get allergies and i've also had walking pneumonia
because when i'm on the road
over the years you just are on planes or international stuff and you go like
you're you're heavy breathing
and then i find out oh i just did 10 dates in a row then i come back and my
doctor says bob you have
pneumonia yeah road funk right yeah and you don't know what the is coming out
of the vents on the planes
it's just being next to people that are farting in your face too literally yeah
actual yeah they
freckle you they walk by when they go to the bathroom and people don't know
what freckling is
i'm not telling you yeah there's a product called freckled and they're taking
it off the market i wonder
if people are going to go back to no masks in public i think there's going to
be a certain number of
people that are just going to keep wearing masks i think you're right and when
i was in japan i didn't
understand the mask theory which was but not about i don't think it was about a
contagion type thing
it was about cleanliness it was about the air quality i think it's also about
being polite the
japanese culture if you have sniffles or something like that you don't want to
give it to someone else
you know they're more thoughtful and considerate now that is what we're lacking
here yes the people
that are yelling i'm not wearing a mask you're taking away my rights did you
see that lady in florida
yeah a bar giving away 100 free meals to the people that don't wear masks yeah
florida has the fourth
number of coronavirus cases on earth if florida was a country it would have the
fourth on earth yes
well they they opened it up to prove their point that their petri dish was impenetrable
well they
opened it up to disney world they did they opened disney world and people love
the idea of not waiting in
lines so they're willing to die what is it get any video of disney world
opening day i'll find it
there's a video i saw this going around on saturday that there was some
influencers that went because
there's a lot of people that on youtube that just go to disney parks all the
time yeah yeah and they
were saying they felt sick and they just went the next day and they're like oh
we're this is fun but
we all of our throats hurt real bad oh my god i think they all have it unless
they were faking
they're probably there's a lot of views and then there's splash mountain i mean
there's things that
there's no way droplets don't come out of you and go into the mouth of the
person behind you ever
see the movie outbreak years ago with dustin hoppin yeah so there's an amazing
shot in the movie
it's a point of view of a phlegm ball and it literally follows phlegm a guy
laughs it's a comedy
of course laughs a piece of phlegm comes out of his mouth they follow point of
view they do cgi or
beginnings of it and it goes into another person's mouth and that's how in a
contagion way that they
should represented how this thing can travel and uh i wear a mask was funny
when you had bill burr
on here who's a mutual friend people do not understand that i was goading bill
into going on a rant i was
fucking with no they don't you wrote it out like i really don't wear i have a
mask in my fucking pocket
me too day no you're it's funny because everything's out of context everything's
serious but when that's
that's what i'm trying so hard because i'm an i'm a newbie at this i'm i'm on
my 33rd episode you're on
the hebrew calendar you're 5748 episodes you know you're 10 years of doing
something that revolutionized
this okay so i just started it because i this before covet i started it because
i was doing shows
and i'd be in a theater and people would be yelling at each other and i would
go guys what do you what
are you doing or i'd have a bit about prejudice when i was six years old when
there was profiling when
there was uh segregated bathrooms and i started talking about it people would
get angry
in the in you at me for at the world one guy yelled the south will rise again
well this is pre-covid pre-covid
the guy yelled out the south will rise again my response was sir we're in boston
he i was at the
wilbur he was serious he was 100 serious and then they went and went to tag him
and i said no leave
leave him be you know unless someone continues i i deal with it we deal with
the south will rise again
fucking boston well it's they've had a long down time you know i mean you lost
in 1865 you're gonna
rise again the other thing is they're pulling down statues right so the statues
are like they're like
chocolate uh easter eggs um easter bunnies the ones that are hollow so if a
statue to me is less
than an inch thick of the lining around it and it's hollow inside right i think
an inch it coul