Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1523 - Joey Diaz & Brian Redban
Uploaded: 2020-08-12T19:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1523 - Joey Diaz & Brian Redban' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1523 - Joey Diaz & Brian Redban' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-12. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1523 - Joey Diaz & Brian Redban

salute gentlemen
salute happy birthday my brother
thank you for many more
thank you young Jamie
thank you all
tremendous
53 spins around the sun
I have not fucking had a drink
the whole fucking
the whole COVID
I didn't drink before that either
no you weren't much of a drinker
every night I go home I'm going to have a make up
because Heineken makes a light
five points tremendous
they make a double zero that actually tastes good
zero alcohol
Heineken has for sure
the best non-alcoholic beer
it tastes like fucking beer
if you were an alcoholic
you'd be like oh my god I fucked up
you know how you have those
I like O'Doul's
it tastes good but it doesn't taste like beer
a cold O'Doul's is delicious
I like those non-alcoholic
I do some people don't like them I like them
a cold one is really nice
but it you know what you're doing
with the Heineken they kind of trick you
I don't know what the fuck they're doing
they're doing some weird shit
because it tastes like
tastes like beer
well beer is like a taste kind of
that's that's why I do his work
it's kind of like
that smoke juice you put in meat
like oh that's the taste of smoke
right or like watermelon gum
that shit don't taste like watermelon
it's still good
but you know what it is
it's so crazy how beer
like I grew up on six packs and eight packs
eight packs with eight ounces
yeah
nips you got a case of nips
or a case of beer
and then you went out to Colorado
and they had 3.2
3.2
alcohol
low alcohol beer
like Utah
between 18 and 21
oh really
that's what you have to drink
then when you turn 21
they give you the full dose
there used to be a club on the hill
I forget what it was
in the University of Boulder
downstairs
and that's what they served you
3.2 beer
right around the time I was turning 18
was the time they made it 21 years old
I'm pretty sure
find out when they did it in Massachusetts
when did Massachusetts make the drinking age
from 18 to 21
I feel like I missed it by like a year or two
but probably for good
they were like Jesus Christ
I remember that when I was in elementary
people were mad about that
at least make it harder for them
fucking animals
thank you for the COVID test
my pleasure
I did the blood test
okay
it's 1979
they've raised the drinking age from 18 to 20
huh
but when was it 21
okay
84
Dukakis
exactly
okay
so 84 I was 17
that son of a bitch
and he raised it from 20 to 21
Dukakis also fucked up
he gave out furloughs to prisoners
and one escaped and killed somebody
so when I got into a halfway house
wasn't it
somebody
when I got to a halfway house
everybody was mad at the caucus
because you couldn't have furloughs no more
oh
he used to furlough prisoners
yes
it was Willie something or another right
I forget the whole story
but I know that
people in prison were furious
because they couldn't go to fucking
on furloughs no more
that poor guy
because the caucus let them go for like four days
like a fucking
you know
like club med for four days
he's a fucking prisoner
I ain't gonna let them go to club med
and that was the end of that tune
well they're releasing a lot of prisoners right now
because of COVID
they're opening up the doors
18,000 in California
did you hear that one that just
that came out of jail
and shot the motherfucker who accused him
yeah
yeah
yeah
I don't
yeah I don't know if this is the best idea
kids
there's a lot of those people
who are very violent
like it depends on what you're letting out
if you're letting out some dude
who sold weed
you should have let him out a long time ago
you know
you're letting out some guy who's selling mushrooms
let that guy out
don't keep him in a fucking cage
with people who are murderers
we've had this conversation before
you gotta let out the people
that are non-violent drug offenders
yes
all of them
non-violent drug offenders
first time
first time offenders
unless
you know
there's
you know what the big thing in jail is
sometimes when you go to county
there's a big DUI population
really
there's motherfuckers
that can't stop getting DUIs
I think my ex-brother-in-law
has the record in Colorado
I'm not making a joke here
like there's people
that stay in the system
because of the DUI problem
jeez
you know they gotta blow into a tube
before they start their car
yeah my friend Robbie
yeah
they got all types of shit
so
and then they put you in work release
that's a complete different situation
then you
you know
they have different levels of it
you know
they're blowing in the thing
it takes some time too
he couldn't just start his car
so if it was cold out
like we were playing pool
and I go
how long does that take
and he's like
it takes like five minutes
you just gotta sit here
because it has to check to see
to make you all right
and you can't
there's no getaways
like if someone's chasing you
you hop in the car
you gotta blow in the thing
you get the car to start
I had a friend that did that
he used to just pay people
five dollars to blow in there
he would get hammered
come here
what are you doing
blow in there
do you know what happened in Chicago
do you have any idea
what happened this weekend
in Chicago
no
do you know
oh about the
crazy
yeah yeah yeah
there was a shooting
there was a shooting
and then there was some crazy looting
they'd broken the Tesla
and Jamie was the first one
to tell me that there was like
an incorrect story
the incorrect story was that
a 14 year old girl was shot
is that what it was
or a 15 year old girl was shot
I heard yeah
a 15 year old was shot
and killed by the police
but it was misinformation
that was
I don't know how that got out
or who put it out initially
I didn't find out that part of it
but it was actually a 20 year old
that was not killed
and was in the hospital
so I don't know
yeah we're one of those away
we're one of those away
from this whole fucking thing
exploding in different cities again
why do you feel this strongly
about Los Angeles lately
there's too many people here
I've seen you make a telly very
ever since the Houston trip
you've been a different person
well I've been thinking about it
for quite a while
I've been thinking about
leaving LA for a while
I think
I don't
this is just my feeling
I don't think this is a healthy way to live
I don't think it's good for your brain
I really don't
which part of it
the people that live here
like
I wonder if it's a coincidence
that so many people
that live in cities
have like
it's like
cities are always democratic
right
almost always
cities are rarely republican
isn't that weird
like I don't know
I mean
is Houston like that
that's a pretty big city
Dallas is a pretty big city
but I think they might be blue
I think the cities might be blue
and then the states are all
you know
the surrounding areas red
me and Jamie grew up red
but I always used to think
that was because they were smarter
I used to think that they were more educated
so they're more likely to be democrats
because my family was democrats growing up
and I always felt like
that was like the people
who were really interested in freedom of speech
really interested in education
really interested in welfare
and making programs for poor people
and prison reform
they didn't want
they didn't want the death penalty
they wanted you to have the right to choose
that's what it was always to me
so why the fuck are they all like lumped up in cities
like what is that
it's because that's where all the universities are
but there's some universities that are in
you know in the middle of nowhere too
it's weird
it's weird how cities are like
like if you just
forget if you had a dog in the fight
if you're just looking at people
it's odd
that these big giant clumps
are almost always the lean democrat
it's weird
and then when shit like what's going on now happens
where you have violent reactions
on a regular basis
like on a regular basis
there's riots
on a regular basis
there's crazy shit going on in portland
in seattle
they're trying to burn federal buildings
this isn't rare
this is like every day
we're totally accustomed to it
have you noticed
you see a fucking looting
and a riot
and a building on fire on tv
you don't even flinch
you don't even flinch
that used to be a big deal
right
remember like the waco days
that was a big fucking deal
there was a standoff
with the feds
and a compound
and there was a guy
who thought he was jesus
who was fucking everybody's wife
and they had guns
and you're like
holy shit
waco was fucked up
what year was waco
94 95
hicks was alive
because hicks talked about it on stage
so it had to be pre
i think hicks died in like 93
in that area
it was like hicks and kinison died
within a couple of years of each other
it was it was waco
and then the oklahoma city bombing
which blew our fucking minds
waco 93
okay
93 and then 94 95
was the oklahoma city bombings
which really fucked with me that week
i snorted a lot of coke
the oklahoma city bombings
are very interesting
very interesting
very interesting
there's a lot of weird stuff
people 19 1995
i was still living in boulder
do you see that building
look at the building
there's people to this day
that don't believe
that that was just a car
filled with some sort of explosive
that did that
damn
the most thing i remember
that fuck with me
they say it's too uniform
it was a daycare on the basement
oh
that's what destroyed me that week
and i remember i bought a big batch of coke
and i cut it
and i was trying to sell it
and i did the whole bag
in four fucking days
just watching the coverage on this
there are some fucking insane people out there
and there are there are people that are so insane
they'll plant a bomb
in front of a building
and blow the whole side of it
they don't give a fuck
who's inside
timothy mcveigh
yeah
and then you had the unabomber
around that time
look at how it blew
that's crazy
so there was all these reports
the problem is like eyewitness reports
after traumatic events like that
they're always off
people always like
you know
they don't know what they saw
they're so fucked up
and you can tell them what they saw
and then they'll repeat what you said
it does happen with people
when they
there's a big crazy explosion like that
people
so you don't know
who's telling the truth
but there was a lot of people
that were saying
they saw people carrying off bombs
that were unexploded
they're like they saw like the fbi carrying off bombs
like that there was more than one bomb
and then the way it looks
if you look at the way the building exploded
the way they were explaining
I was watching something on it
that the way one of those bombs would go off
if it was just a fertilizer bomb
like it wouldn't it wouldn't necessarily go off that way
where it looks like the whole side of the building is going out
you know
that it would be located
the blast would be
all the damage would be where the truck was located
but being a moron
but being a moron
and not knowing shit about explosives
I don't know if that's true
but it does get interesting
like who gave him this information
why is he blowing up that building
like what
what the fuck is going on
you could do that with a truck
and some manure
is that real
that's a hell of a fucking bomb
can you do that
like could any crazy fuck
just fill a pickup truck up
fill with fertilizer
do what they have to do
to light it on fire
and make it explode
and blow up a building like that
one guy was a suicider
or he just left it there
and detonated it
I think he just left it there
left it and detonated it
then they caught him
the one guy
there was a pair
they were part of a paramilitary group
in the hills of Michigan
or some shit
something extra spooky
about those white dudes
who live in the woods
who are plotting
to overthrow the government
right
there's something extra spooky
about those guys
and that's what you think of
when you think of Timothy McVeigh
you think of those kind of people
those uh
you know those people like
it's a real sad story
you ever hear the Ruby Ridge story
no
that was a real sad one
that was a guy
who got in a standoff
with th