Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1526 - Ali Macofsky
Uploaded: 2020-08-15T19:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1526 - Ali Macofsky' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1526 - Ali Macofsky' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-08-15. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1526 - Ali Macofsky

Hello, Allie.
Oh, you fired up the vape?
Yeah, I brought two Jules.
So you brought cigarettes, two Jules, and camels.
Coffee and a smoothie.
I wasn't sure what to expect.
What was your worst case scenario?
Oh my God, worst case scenario, I pooped my pants right off the bat.
Have you done that before?
Like when you get nervous?
Not when I get nervous, but I used to, well, only once in college.
You pooped your pants?
Yeah.
Were you drinking?
Yeah, I was hungover.
I ate Chipotle.
I ate Chipotle pretty much every day in college.
That's not good for your brain.
It was not good at all.
If you're trying to learn.
Yeah.
Actually, Chipotle, like those bowls, they are pretty good.
They're so good.
Like if you get like one of those steak bowls with rice, like that's about as
clean as you
can eat.
Yeah.
Really?
And in college, it was nice because you could eat like half of a bowl and be
like super full
and then eat the other half later.
And you can do the tricks of getting half steak, half chicken or something.
That's a trick.
That way they give you more.
Oh, is that a trick?
I don't think it is a trick.
I think they have like a scooper.
They have a scooper, but if you say you want half this and half that, they're
not going
to put half in the scooper.
They're putting a full scooper in there and then you're getting a full pooper
on the couch
in college.
Yeah.
It's hard to hear about the poop in the pants.
It's all right.
People are very embarrassed about that, but it does happen if you take chances.
I feel like it happens to everyone.
Everyone has a poop story.
I hope.
If you don't, I feel like you're just not taking enough chances with your diet.
No.
And it's like, I think everyone's poop story starts out with them being like,
oh, I thought
I was going to fart.
And then it was not a fart.
Yeah.
That's in the car.
That's when it happens.
I was honestly on the drive up here.
I had a little bit of gas and I was like, just wait until you're there.
Hold it because you don't want to take any risks right now.
Yeah.
So I, you know, it actually worked out.
I let it out.
I've had a pod.
There was a podcast once where I legitimately thought, do you remember who it
was?
I legitimately thought I was going to shit my pants.
I was like pinching my, my abs down.
I was like crunching myself.
I was like, listen, if I don't get out of here right now, I don't know if I'm
going to
make it.
Do you remember who it was?
But I might even set it on the air.
Yeah.
I remember it happening, but I don't remember who was in the room.
I barely got out.
It's kind of a nice feeling though.
I like that, like adrenaline rush of like, I need to hold, like it really tests
my skills.
Like cramming for a test.
Yeah.
Like, oh my God, there's not much time left.
Yeah.
I dropped out of college.
So like, I feel like me trying to hold in a poop is the most cramming for a
test.
I feel like I do.
That is a psychological thing.
The cramming thing.
They say that some people like procrastinate until they know they just, they
have to like,
okay, I'm going to stay up all night.
I'm a procrastinator.
Yeah.
Always.
Most comics are.
You think so?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think there's something, look, we're all broken.
We're all broken toys.
And most, most comics, um, there's something about like the laziness and the
nonconformity
and, you know, the unwillingness to do trudgery.
Is that a word?
I think so.
Yeah.
The unwillingness to do the, you know, like boring, mundane life choices, jobs.
That's what leads people to comedy.
Like, oh, maybe I can just talk shit.
Yeah.
I literally thought, I always knew I wanted to like entertain people somehow.
I didn't know exactly how until my senior year of high school, but before that
I was like,
maybe I'll be a singer or a comedian, you know?
Well, you have a great voice.
I have a decent voice.
You have a very good voice.
Thank you.
Um, and you use it in your act sometimes.
I try.
You do.
Um, you started doing stand up.
How old were you?
I think I did my first open mic when I was like 17.
But I didn't start then.
You were about, like, there's only one other person I know.
Olivia Grace.
Yes, I love Olivia.
I met her at, I think it was Brea.
She came up to me and she was like 16.
Yeah.
And I was like, what?
And she had been doing it since she was like 14 or 15.
That's crazy.
Crazy.
She's very funny too.
She's so funny.
Super cool.
Yeah.
So I, when I started, I was living in Long Beach at my parents' house and so I
would
go back and forth between Orange County and LA and Olivia was in Orange County
and she was
like the first person my age, kind of, you know, that I like met.
And so we became friends and I was like, I was like, you're so funny.
Like, it's so cool that she had already had so much time under her belt when I
was like
18, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It's a, that's a, I didn't know you could start until you were 21.
No, I didn't either.
I had no idea.
I thought, and I also didn't know that open mics happened at like coffee shops
and bars
and like literally anywhere.
Yeah.
At all.
You know, laundromats.
When I started, I waited until my 21st birthday, but then I met my friend
Robbie and he was 19.
I was like, how did you get in?
And they're like, they'll let you in, but you can't drink.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yeah.
I had my, I.
Is that still the case?
Like at the store?
If they, if they had a show, an open mic night, did they let you in?
Well, when I, when I started.
When I started doing open mics for real, I was maybe 18 on the verge of 19 or
something.
And I would go to the comedy store, but I had already been doing open mics
around town.
So all the guys who worked at the comedy store as door guys knew me.
They didn't know how old I was.
So no one ever checked my ID and I never talked about being young or anything.
So I would just perform, hang out.
And, uh, and then when they found out I was under 21, I got kicked out for a
year and I
couldn't perform there again.
So I had already been doing Kill Tony.
And then they found out?
And then they found out.
Oh my God.
And so then I would like do shows, do open mics.
And then I would just come to the comedy store and hang out on the sidewalk and
just be like,
Hey guys, what's up?
That's hilarious.
And on my 21st birthday at midnight, I walked in.
Really?
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
And I remember Red Band was there and George Perez and, uh, on my 21st birthday,
they each
gave me $21.
And then on my 22nd birthday, I was at the comedy store and they gave me $22.
And I was like, you guys better live for a long time.
That's a crazy place to be when you're 21 years old, you know, to be around.
Let me just, the people you just named George Perez and Brian Red Band and you're
21.
Like, hello, like a little, a little fawn, like clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk.
I still feel like that.
Well, that place is, I mean, especially when you're dealing with, you know, so
many, like
you're going there, you're 21 years old and you're just seeing Jessel Nick and,
you know,
and all these like big time headliners and Joey Diaz and, you know, when Chris
Rock shows up
and Dave Chappelle's there and you're fucking 21, you're walking around going,
this is crazy.
Yeah, yeah, it felt so surreal just like being there and hanging out and
feeling kind of like
I was a part of it, you know, like in a small way.
But yeah, I'm super grateful for Kill Tony because I feel like that's what
helped me become
like more ingrained in the scene at the store.
Well, that's how I found out about you.
Yeah.
I found out about you through Kill Tony and Tony kept raving about how good you
were.
And then I saw you do some sets and your progression.
It's a kind of a hilarious story, like you opening for me.
I know.
Because you did a couple shows at like the improv, couple shows at like, you
know, the
comedy store.
And then I'm like, hey, you want to do Vegas?
Well, no, no.
What happened was you had been the guest like on Kill Tony and I was a regular.
So you had seen one minute of my material, maybe two times.
No, I'd seen you other times.
I'd been in the room while you were doing stand-up a couple other times.
But then you invited me.
I remember Tony hit me up one day and he was like, hey, is it cool if I give
Joe your phone
number?
And I was like, Joe.
And he was like, Rogan.
I was like, what?
I was like, yeah, of course.
And so then you text me.
You were like, hey, do you want to do some shows at the improv with me this
week?
And I was like, yeah, of course.
You're like, are you available?
I'm like, I think I can be available for that.
Well, I knew you were funny.
You know, I mean, that's how I do it.
When I think someone's funny, I'm like, all right, let's see.
Yeah.
Let's see what they do in front of a packed house.
Yeah.
You know, with Joey Diaz and Duncan Trussell and Ari Shaffir and just like, let's
see
what's up.
Yeah.
Let's see what's up.
And then I had been doing that for a couple months, I'd say, just like doing
the hosting
spot or like little opening spots at the improv in the comedy store.
And then you were like, oh, I was like, oh, I saw that you're going to be in
Vegas this
week.
Like, I think I'm going to drive and come watch you because I'd never seen you
in like a bigger
venue than a comedy club.
And you were like, okay, do you want to open?
And I was like, well, I wasn't hoping you'd say that, but I was kind of hoping
you'd say
that.
So you did Vegas.
That was the coolest experience of my entire life.
Still to this day, one of like the highlights of my life.
It was really fun.
It was really fun.
But you were so composed and so like on top of it, you crushed.
And then I said, okay, do you want to do an arena?
You went from, I mean, how many times have you been paid to do standup other
than the
times opening for me and you know, like a couple of little gigs on the road?
Yeah.
I mean, I never really got paid to do comedy, like besides like drinks or like
a couple of
bucks for gas.
So you do the Mirage, which is like, I think the Mirage is 1300 people or 1200
people.
It's a good size place.
Yeah.
Good size place.
Then we do a fucking gigantic basketball arena.
You know what I think helped me with the Mirage was in my head, I was like,
1200 is giant.
I was like, this is going to be huge, crazy.
And I like overhyped it so much that by the time I saw the venue, it was like,
it was so
beautiful and it felt intimate for some reason.
But it's the most intimate place in Vegas in terms of like those big theaters
you can
play.
Yeah.
It's my favorite place in Vegas.
I love it.
Yeah.
So as soon as I got there, I was like, I got this.
I was doing bigger places there and I came back to the Mirage just because it's
a better
setup.
Yeah.
And I feel like the people who run that place were really helpful.
They're awesome.
They're the best.
They're the nicest folks and they all love comedy.
And you know, there you are.
That's you, kid.
Oh, Jamie was taking pictures.
I was like, can you get more?
My mom really wants to see me.
Yeah.
It's too bad.
You can't really see the audience in there too.
But so then you go from that.
Well, what arena did we do?
We went to, I believe, Denver.
Was it Portland?
Oh yeah.
It was the Moda Center.
Yeah.
That place is fucking huge.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
And it was in the round.
The first one was in the round.
So there's literally people all around me.
I'm like, I don't know where to stand.
I don't know like how to use the space of the stage.
Yeah.
That's like 13 or 14,000 people.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah.
It was bananas.
But I told you after, I was like, you know what I hate about this is that this
feels
the best way to perform.
I was like, this is where I feel the most myself.
Well, it's definitely the biggest pop.
Yeah.
Like the rush that you get from a big joke that kills in a 15,000 seat arena or
whatever.
It's bananas.
Like the biggest I did was Chappelle and I did the Tacoma Dome.
Yeah.
We did 25,000 people.
That looked crazy.
It was bonkers.
Yeah.
Like when you would hear the laughs, the