Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1546 - Evan Hafer & Mat Best
Uploaded: 2020-10-07T17:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1546 - Evan Hafer & Mat Best' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1546 - Evan Hafer & Mat Best' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-07. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1546 - Evan Hafer & Mat Best

Joe Rogan podcast check it out the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan
podcast by
night all day hello gentlemen we're rolling we're rolling holy shit Evan and
Matt I've known you
guys for a long time and I've enjoyed your coffee for a long time so I'm happy
you guys could come
on here and talk some shit oh man I love it I love being on shows with Matt
especially with you
this is fucking incredible dude your ridiculous setup that you put in the
kitchen with all the
the coffee and the espresso I videotaped it so people could see but the
measuring of the weight
of the grams of the espresso I know you got into it before you were into coffee
before you were in
the military right yeah and then you started bringing coffee and a roaster and
a whole setup
with you overseas but like were you this like measuring it and the exact
temperature of the
water and all that jazz oh yeah I I think like way back in late 90s I guess is
probably where it all
began and I always say this where you know every good story starts with a with
a with a good chick
basically and I met this barista back in the late 90s and she turned me on to
espresso so I started
really going down the rabbit hole in coffee so she was just like really into
espresso she wasn't she was
just she was hot and she was she was a barista so but that was the the the
gateway to this entire thing
and uh then as I continued to kind of evolve my my coffee nerd you know sense
of me I I uh I kind of
was like well you know what this green beret thing sounds pretty cool I would
love to be able to do that
jump out of planes and maybe overthrow some countries that's that sounds pretty
rad um but it never left
and so I was still way into coffee I was roasting coffee on fires and on my
stove and getting different
weird espresso machines and the funny thing is back in when I was an SF guy
people would make fun of me
all the time like you hipster douchebag what do you do if we were together I
would have made fun of you a lot
yeah you're like sweet 30 minutes to make a cup of coffee what are you fucking
doing
what are you doing well that's why it's a funny contrast between this badass
special forces guy and someone
is like really meticulous with their coffee no cream don't you dare no way Jack
Carr kind of makes fun of it in his
books where he talks about like putting honey in his black rifle coffee and and
half of it is just to kind of
mock the fact that people who really love coffee won't put anything in it it's
a travesty they won't and
Jack is one of my friends so when he when he came out to the house he was doing
research for his book I was making him a cup of
coffee and he was like dude this is fucking insane like how long is this gonna
take it's like man it takes as long as
it takes so that entire setup that we just put in your studio I had that in my
coffee lab in my house that entire
thing Wow and I'm out here and I was roasting coffee on my stove and going
going way down the rabbit hole with
with with Jack and he's taking notes you know for his book and and he's a
former seal you know so we're talking
shit and he's like you must have just been picked on in the teams right maybe
yeah I guess that's like
you know I was like if you just have to run fast because if you're gonna do
something weird like
this you gotta be able to run really fast do a lot of fucking pull-ups and push-ups
and shoot really
well I think that was one of the things where I was like man I gotta be really
good at all these things
because it's got to offset all my d-baggery over here with coffee people have
to respect you
even though you're so balls deep in a coffee it's an interesting story he uh
when we both had similar
professions post-military as contractors and I was in this fob and I'm sitting
there I'm like why the
fuck is there this like fifty thousand dollar espresso machine for a very small
base in the middle of
nowhere we'll come to find three hour three years later I'm chatting with them
and I'm like yeah dude
I don't know the agency bought some stupid ass espresso he's like yep that that
was me I could
put it so he convinced the supplier or whoever to officer to buy this super
intricate freaking
espresso machine in the middle of nowhere I'm like of course it was you of
course it was yeah so I
that's the exactly so the entire story so I'm working at the agency then so
fast forward a few years
later and my the the the logistics person came to me and he or she was like hey
what what kind of
espresso machine or coffee machine should we buy and I was like oh don't worry
I'll send you the links
to it and it was like thirty thousand dollar espresso machine from I imported
it from Italy and had it
flown in through this some other logistics situation and she's like so this is
it I'm like yeah but we
still need a grinder too right and uh that was something that kind of lived in
in not only like
infamy that I'd gotten the entire logistic system to buy me this espresso
machine from there was no
oversight like no one was like looking at the accounts and going what the fuck
is contrary to popular
belief you know congressional oversight and budgets at times is a little bit hazy
when you're in war they
just kind of say here's lump sum you know here you go yes here's 23 million
dollars as long as you can
justify it maybe we'll be okay uh well you know the government works too at the
end of a fiscal year
they're like we got some money to spend or we don't get this budget next year
oh and honestly in Iraq
early on it it was like a dumpster fire with cash just the tax dollars that
were just burnt in that place
on just dumb shit you couldn't even imagine if when I look back on it now as a
guy that's very vested in
what's happening to my tax dollars I'm like what the fuck were these idiots
doing like this is so dumb
it was so dumb like what was besides espresso machines what was the other
ridiculous shit that
the money was being spent on oh well I here's a great example so uh and I've
got a myriad of them but
uh we had a field of up armored vehicles that were really fucking expensive
like five hundred thousand
dollars a pop give or take we couldn't take them anywhere because they were so
obvious that it was a
up armored vehicle that you just drive around and people would want to take pot
shots at you for the fun
of it so you have these beautiful half a million to a million dollar cars that
you can't use so you got to
go when we're working in the low viz capacity means like you're just trying to
blend in just not get
shot man like don't pick a fight like let's just blend in do our job get the
fuck out of here
but if you have a really expensive looking like g5 or something that's just
really a g5 in the
middle of fucking baghdad in a war zone people are going to want to take
pressure washed and all
that mercedes that big g-wagon yeah a g-wagons like a bulletproof g-wagon yeah
really yeah dude
so g-wagon all of this stuff is up armored so when you look at this like any
vehicle you want you can
get a level of armor to it but if you buy the most ridiculous and expensive
vehicle in the middle of
fucking war-torn country x you're going to stick out like a sore thumb and the
whole intent of the
mission is to blend in so to my point you'll have fields of shit that you can't
use because some
dumbass is pulling the trigger on your government tax dollars going this looks
good to me might as
well just see how that looks yeah why don't they take like an old chevy blazer
and then retrofit it
well there's that too you can do that do they do that oh yeah you can when you
look go down the
go down the rabbit hole in armored vehicles and it obviously you probably
wouldn't but if if you
wanted an armored vehicle of any kind you can get it now there are there are
different armored vehicles
from different companies so for instance mercedes builds their armored vehicles
from ground up it's
it's one of the the best if not the best armored vehicle in the world uh it's
built from ground up
jamie has an idea yeah yeah the g-class originally was a military vehicle yeah
that's why it's so
durable like my wife has one of those it's like the door is like fucking chunk
it's not like any other
car it's so thick like the gauge steel oh yeah they don't they don't make cars
like it no it and that
that it's so boxy it's got such good angles to it that i think that it really
fits well because there is
they look fucking incredible do you remember the weight on like a level seven
like how those things
are so yeah heavy it it offset the gravity of the earth it was fucking heavy
yeah like those things
are so heavy and so top heavy it that was the other issue too you're not going
anywhere fast in those
things so if you need to get out arm it up right so you must have like steel
plates at the bottom of
it's all built from ground up so it's not as if you have a steel plate that you
can remove or
something or that's been retro right in it's built on the factory line right
for it to be an armored
vehicle so all the scenes are tight military guys or do they make them for like
dictators no they make
them for for for everybody rich pricks yeah or dictator x or military whoever
it is who doesn't want to
get blown up yeah and you can take i think it's something like uh three rounds
of ak-47 so 762 by
39 and a three inch square and that's through the entire vehicle so when you're
getting when you're
getting lit up in one of those it's it's at one it's a it's an interesting
experience that you're
never going to forget uh and then two you you're feeling pretty good especially
if they're shooting at
you with ak you're just like whatever i'm gonna have a snack you guys keep so
have you been inside
one while it's under attack oh gosh yeah yeah yeah so what is it like just ding
ding ding ding
yeah some tanks um and obviously you know your your job is not to stick around
and kind of absorb
the rounds but uh the the a level seven is what it's called and so when you're
in a level seven
armored vehicle it's getting shot at by either 7.62 by 39 or you know increase
the the caliber of of
rifle or belt fed it will absorb a certain amount of rounds sometimes it'll be
loud and sometimes
it'll be really muted and quiet depending on just where it strikes yeah where
it strikes how it strikes
so if it's striking an angle if it's perpendicular to the round where is it
hitting uh you know so how
closer you to the shooter uh how perpendicular you are to the round how big is
the round so it'll kind
of it'll sound different depending on where you're at and you can kind of gauge
like where's that coming
from how much weight does it add to the overall truck oh gosh those doors if
you were to put your
finger in one of those level seven doors by hand it's just gonna you you'll get
it trimmed off you'll
get it trimmed off and that's a really weird factoid about level sevens is you
never want to roll
down the windows and you really can't on a lot of them so one of your teammates
farts in the vehicle
it's the worst because you can't open the door roll down the window you're like
really dude yeah
you can't go through chick-fil-a drive-through in one of those things you know
you can you can get
it i think you get the window down about this far give or take but it'll also
take it it'll also take
a finger off if you decide to roll up the window the window is going to be
three and a half to four
inches thick that's how big it is and it's not glass it's it's a it's a plastic
essentially or
some type of plastic but you can see through and uh you can see through it
looks somewhat like glass
if you get close to an armored vehicle how many dickheads are listening to this
right now going i
need that in my life oh man i need one of those there's actually a lot of
companies that do that
they take like tacomas or tundras and they outfit them with level sevens i mean
i think that's just kind
of badass one day i won't doesn't that uh devrolo company do that do you k