Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1584 - Todd White
Uploaded: 2020-12-26T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1584 - Todd White' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1584 - Todd White' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-26. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1584 - Todd White

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
What's up, buddy?
Dude, you're one of the reasons why I'm here.
I remember you told me multiple years ago,
how many years ago did you move here?
I moved here seven years ago.
And you were telling me how fucking great it is.
I remember running into you, you're like,
dude, it's fucking great, I love it.
I'm like, man, I don't know.
You said my wife would never move there.
That's what you said.
We were at the commons at Marmalade.
Yeah, in Calabasas.
Yeah, in Calabasas.
Yeah.
Well, dude, I've known you for, what, fucking 20 years?
Yeah.
I probably met you in like 2000-ish or something like that?
Maybe before.
The day you walked into John Jock's,
I was on the mat and we were rolling.
And you came walking in.
And I was a fan of your first show you ever did.
And I saw you and I go, oh shit, that's Joe Rogan.
And my friend says, who's that?
I go, he's on a show.
He's on news radio.
And he goes, I don't know who that is.
And I go, he's the-
Handyman.
Handyman.
He's a mechanic.
He's always running around with this toolbox.
And he goes, I don't know who he is.
And I go, okay, well.
And then that was the first time I ever saw you and then you came in.
That's like 98, dude.
Yeah.
I think it's like 98.
That was about, that was about, yeah, it was a white belt.
Yeah.
John Jock's spot in Tarzana.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw, I saw the, I was working at Warner Brothers, Tiny Toon Adventures.
And I was a, I was a, I was a PA, production assistant at that time.
It was the first job I ever had in LA.
And that guy says, hey, we're going to have a party tonight.
We're going to watch these fights.
They're like cock fights.
Come on over and let's watch them.
And I went over to his house and I was literally hypnotized watching Hoist Gracie
do what he
did.
I couldn't believe it.
Everybody else was talking.
So it was just like 93?
Yeah.
The first day of UFC?
The very first, the first UFC.
It was the first one.
Wow.
So you, you watched the first one live.
Yeah.
I saw it at a party that I was not supposed to be at and nobody else was paying
attention
to this.
It was just on.
It was like two other guys watching it.
And, and I'm watching this going, I got to do that.
Like it was speaking to me in a way I've never, you know, like art speaks to me
and I was
watching it.
And, and the next day I find Torrance Gracie Academy, cause they kept saying
Torrance Gracie
and I knew where Torrance was.
So I, I, I was living in the studio city in the Valley.
I drove, I had a Honda Prelude.
I drove all the way on the 405, the worst freeway in the world.
And it took me about three hours to get down there on a Saturday morning.
And I walked into that place and it was, they were done, but I could smell all
that sweat
and humidity and nastiness.
And I was like, Oh God, this is great.
And I walked in and, and they were very nice to me, but there was like these
dudes and they
looked so intimidating and they were just ripped up and clawed up and dripping
wet.
And this wasn't the pretty days where everybody has rash guards and designer geese.
This was like Krugans geese.
Yep.
They were yellowed and nasty smelling and, and no, there was no, there was
chest hair in your
mouth.
I remember Krugans.
And, and, and they came walking out and I was just like, I felt, man, I felt
like a little
bitch.
And I'm going like, I want to be you.
And he goes, Oh, where are you from?
You know?
And I go, Oh, the valley.
And the valley, this is too far, my friend.
And he goes, my cousin's John Jack is in the valley.
The Machados go there.
And I was kind of like struck and all by everything.
Right?
So I thought, okay, I'll go to the valley, you know, and there was no internet
and understand
there's no internet.
You can't just Google.
So I got the Thomas guide out and I started looking around and, and I would ask
people.
And, and so nobody knew the answer to this, because remember, as you know, in
the early
days, Brazilian jujitsu was like, Oh, you do that karate stuff.
And so I, I got on my mountain bike.
I was a heavy mountain biker then.
And I got on my bike and I was in Studio City and I decided to ride Ventura
Boulevard.
And I'm going to look at every shop on Ventura Boulevard.
And I was driving.
I got all the way down to Encino and, and just, and I see this jujitsu, right?
And I go, Oh, that's it.
I walk in and this little kind of chubby round guy comes walking up and is
tucked into his
body.
And he goes, I can help you.
And I go, I'm looking to do a, I'm looking to do that ground fighting stuff.
And he goes, yeah, we do that here.
And I go, okay, you know, sign up.
And so I signed up and I'm there a week and I'm there every day.
And not once are we on the ground.
We're doing this standup, small circle stuff and like, and I'm looking at my
classmates
and they're all like horribly out of shape and like they can barely move.
And I'm thinking, God, this isn't what I saw.
What was the place?
It was like Mushin Ru Jiu Jitsu, right?
Oh.
But I was so out of my head trying to find it.
And so I'm there a week and he's like, Hey, congratulations, you get a belt.
And I'm like, I hardly know anything.
And so he gives me this belt and I'm working out with this one guy.
And he says, Hey, I think what you want is the Machados.
One is the Machados.
And I was like, where am I?
He goes, this isn't it, dude.
I'm like in the wrong movie.
And so I go, okay.
He goes, that's down the road, dude.
Like four stores, four shops, four shops short.
Right?
So I literally at the class, I'm like currying up and I'm like, I gotta go.
And I walked down there and I see them.
And it was, this is on Ventura Boulevard.
He wasn't at his place in Tarzana yet.
He was getting ready to move that week.
And I walk in and it was a place as big as this studio.
I'm not kidding.
And he goes, you know, John Jack spoke very poorly English back then.
And he was like, Oh, hello.
And I'm like, sign.
I sign up now, you know?
And so I signed up and I started going to him, but I had made like two friends.
I went in LA.
I didn't have any friends.
I was there to work and become my goal.
And so I was still talking to these guys and still going to the other place.
And the time worked out where he was early and I would leave and go next door
to John Jack.
Right?
So I was there about another week and we're just doing drills at John Jack.
We're doing armbar drills over and over again from our back, from open guard
drills.
And I would go home and I would draw it in my book.
I had a sketchbook of everything.
So everything we learned, I would draw it.
And I would, you know, I was an animator for a long time.
So I could animate the movements and I could see in rolling where we would end
up.
So if we start here and I did this, this and this, I knew we would end up over
here in this position.
In my mind, it was easy because I had animated.
So I would see rolling like cartoons and they would just kind of roll into it.
And so it came very, I wasn't a wrestler, but it came pretty natural to me to
the movements.
Right?
And so a week later, the guy at the Mushinryu Jiu Jitsu place was telling me,
oh, you gotta
do this because, and I go, but if you did that, you'd get stuck in an arm bar.
Cause he's having me like choke or like reach up.
And he goes, no, you can't get an arm bar from there.
And I go, I think, I think you can.
He's like, you're not gonna do it.
And so I go, well, watch.
And he got in my guard and he like, he did his little chest slap thing.
You know, those little like, and he like stuck his arm out.
What is the little chest?
Yeah.
You know how they like get ready to fight and they're like, you know, they do
their poses.
Oh no.
And he did that in my guard.
And it was weird.
And everybody's watching.
Right?
And they're standing there watching the instructor tell me I didn't know what I
was doing.
And he did that and he stuck his arm out and I grabbed his arm and I pulled it
in and I
threw my legs over his face and I unbored him.
And he got real pissed off.
And he goes, he got up and he was really perturbed.
And he goes, that wouldn't work in real time.
That only worked cause I was letting you get there.
And I, and I was scared.
And I go, I think it would work, man.
I think it would work.
And remember, I had two friends now, right?
My two guy friends, right?
Right.
I think it would work.
And they were going, and I hear one of them go, oh no, it worked.
And I'm looking over at him and he's getting kind of pissed.
I mean, he's a short guy, but he was really stuck.
And he goes, he goes, look, I'm tired of hearing about this Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
So I tell you what, you use your Jiu Jitsu, which by the way, I had had like
two weeks of training.
Now granted, I was there every day with John Jack like doing drills.
So you know, if you got one movement that you do a hundred times, you're going
to have an inkling of how to do it.
What year is this?
Bro.
So you're talking about...
94?
Right after the first UFC, maybe like...
93?
Two months after the first UFC.
Oh, so the 93.
Yeah, 93.
Damn, you were ahead of the curve.
So I'm sitting there and I go, okay, I think it'll work, dude.
Now, I don't know anything about standing, right?
Right.
So he gets up and he goes, okay, I'm going to attack you and you attack me.
And I'm like, I don't know how to attack you.
So he goes, ready.
And like, all of a sudden I'm in a video game.
I'm standing there.
So what do I do?
I copy what I saw Hoist Gracie do.
I stick my arms up like the karate kid and I stick my foot in front.
And he fucking starts like, like coming at me with his elbows and swinging.
And he looks like a little machine.
And I just took my foot and kicked him in the front leg.
His leg goes down.
He lands on me.
We fall under the guard.
He starts hitting me with his elbow on the top of the head, right?
Like I grabbed him.
I clenched him.
I squeezed him really tight, mostly so I didn't get punched in the face because
I was afraid.
And I took my head in his chest and he's hitting me on the top of the head.
And I'm like, and that heat comes up your back from your butthole to your neck.
And you go, you motherfucker, you're hitting me now?
And I go, okay, all right, all right.
Now we're in a new league.
Now you're not my friend.
Now you're fighting me.
And I literally just kind of monkey shimmied up his high guard.
And I just threw him in an arm bar and I cranked as hard as I could on that arm.
And he screams, okay.
Wow.
And I get up, right?
And I'm like, you got that blood rush.
I'm like, hair messed up.
You motherfucker.
And I grab my bag.
I grab my bag, my little fucking goofy bag.
I grab it and I walk out.
I'm like, I don't know what to do.
I'm like flustered.
I walk out.
And the two dudes come running out after me.
They're like, bro, bro, I'm coming with you.
Where are you going?
Where's that school at?
And they came and they fucking trained all the way to Purple Belt.
Both those guys.
Who were the guys?
It was Jim Lahon, the wood carpenter guy and a guy named Seth.
I don't even remember his last name.
Wow.
They both trained all the way through Purple before they kind of faded away.
Man, you fade away when you're at Purple.
That's such a shame.
You're so close.
As an instructor now, it crushes me when I give a blue belt to someone and then
I see
them fade.
And I'm thinking, God, dude, you got past...
The hardest part.
Color.
The greatest belt you can get is blue.
I say that to this day and I'm fourth black.
Blue because you're a color.
You're not the white anymore.
You're in the club.
You're in.
Dude, the day John Jock gave me a blue belt was like one of the greatest days
of my life.
The day John Jock gave me my purple belt, I was like, oh my God, I'm close.
I'm so close to brown.
Purple is a danger belt.
Purple belts.
Tap people.
I remember seeing a lot of purple belts that could tap brown belts.
Brown belts.
Purple belts that were dangerous.
They had like one reall