Name: The Inspiring Story of How The Undertaker Started Wrestling
Uploaded: 2021-01-21T00:40:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Inspiring Story of How The Undertaker Started Wrestling' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Inspiring Story of How The Undertaker Started Wrestling' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-21. Transcript available.

I was in college. I was a basketball player, right? And my coach tells me, hey,
Mark, there's
some European scouts that are interested in you. Maybe after next year, they
may want to give you
a tryout. European pro basketball, right? But they all say they'd like for you
to be a little bigger
because of the style they played back then. Okay, so I start lifting weights. I'm
six foot eight,
two-thirty, two-forty, which in the '80s is huge for a basketball player. So I
started
training. In the European league, were they just more physical?
Yeah. It was like Rick Mahorn and Bill Lambeer on the gas. They were just
monsters. So I started
training and I'm trying to put on size and strength. I met this guy in the gym
who was like,
every day I'd come in. He goes, hey, he goes, man, I'm going to go and I'm
going to get in this
wrestling. Why don't you do wrestling with me? And I was a big wrestling fan as
a kid.
But as I got into, you know, basketball and football and everything else, I
kind of, you
know, I kind of drifted away. You know, I was just like, man, I think I'm gonna
go try to play
some pro ball in Europe. And he goes, man, you should really try and do this
with me, you know? So I kind of
start getting in touch with the product again, you know, I kind of start
watching again and I got no
clue. I don't think, you know, you know, I'm kind of get fall back into it
again. Right. Like, oh,
that's kind of cool. It's different. And I think one of the things that's
helped me through my career
is, is being a realist in what my talents are and what my talents aren't. And,
you know, I was like,
you know, kind of start having these conversations with myself, like, even if
you do make a team, you know,
I mean, how long do you really have? Right. And being 21 and sitting on the end
of the bench in
Lithuania just really didn't, wasn't that appealing of a, you know, you know, I'm
trying to weigh it up against
what I'm seeing on TV. Right. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, because you got
the Von Eriks and you got Hogan.
And I'm like, well, these guys are huge household names, you know? So I'm
thinking maybe I ought to
give it a try. So we find this guy by the name of Buzz Sawyer to, to train us.
Right. And I got to
come up with two grand and I ain't got a pot or a window to throw it out of.
Right. So I, I get my
brother, my oldest brother to co-sign a loan, hock everything I own and come up
with two grand to pay
Buzz Sawyer to train, train me to wrestle, show up to his house, uh, first
morning of training. Right.
And Buzz was a, he was a, he was a good amateur, really good amateur and, uh,
show up at his house,
knocking on the door, knocking on, there's about 10 of us standing out in the
front yard, knocking on
the door. Finally, fucking door swings open. What the fuck you want? Right. He's
saying her butt ass naked,
woke him up out of a day. He's just standing there naked. And it was like, uh,
we're here to train.
And he goes, Oh fuck. Is that today? Yeah. You know? And, uh, so he, he gets,
uh, another guy that
was staying there with him. His name was Perry Jackson, who I'm friends with to
this day. Uh,
he's just go out there and warm them up. Right. So he goes out there and we run
and do all, just,
I mean, everything they can do to blow us up and run us off. Right. Totally gassed
out
about two hours. Just nothing but cardio shit. Right. Finally, Buzz comes out.
All right. Everybody line up, you know? All right. Everybody get down amateur
position. Right. So,
you know, everybody gets down. Fucking, he just stretches the shit out of
everybody. Right. Like
cross-faced fish. Fucking, you know, chicken wing and just, just hooking
everybody and rolling them
around in the, in his front yard. Right. That was it. Right. Then he goes in
the house. So yeah,
y'all come back, you know, a couple other days. So this goes on for weeks. And
like, every time I
show up, there's like one less guy that shows up, they just like fucking until
I was the last one
there. So I'm the last one there. I knock on the door, knock on the door. Fuck.
He never answers.
Right. So I start peering in the windows. Fucking all the furniture is gone.
Everything's gone. He's
gone. He's gone to a different territory to work. He just left. Right. Never,
never learned any pro wrestling.
He was just teaching you wrestling wrestling. He was just teaching me. Yeah.
Obviously he,
we signed up for pro, you know, to get to teach us how to pro wrestling, but he
just came out there
and his whole goal, and this is the way it was back then, is they always try to
take your money
and then they try to run you off. You know, most of the guys in that era were
all shooters. You know,
they were all, you know, they were all good amateurs. Right. And that was what
they would do.
They would take your money, then they'd hurt you, twist you, you know, try and
get you to quit.
And they got your money and they're, you know, they didn't have to worry about
it.
There's some wrestling trainers that were famous for like crazy physical
training standards before
they ever taught you anything, like Karl Gotch. Oh yeah. I'm sure you know who
Karl Gotch is.
Karl Gotch, who is, uh, not just a wrestler, but one of the, he's like one of
the legends of catch
wrestling. Yeah. And catch wrestling is like, uh, so it's a lot like submission
wrestling that you see
in the U in the UFC or in jujitsu, but it's a very like wrestling oriented. So
instead of like,
whereas jujitsu maybe would be, uh, I don't want to say it's less technical,
but it's more violent.
Like it's a lot of snapping people down and cross facing and guillotines and 10
finger
guillotines. And there's still a lot of like, um, uh, Sakuraba was like one of
the legends of MMA
learned from, uh, another catch wrestler in Japan. And a lot of guys who like
Josh Barnett is another
one who's a big, uh, catch wrestling, uh, enthusiast. He, his style is all, and
he, you know, he submitted
a lot of like really elite guys, but Karl Gotch was famous for making, you had
to, you had to be able
to do crazy shit. Like, I think you had to do a thousand body weight squats.
You had to be able
to do like, you had to do all these things before he would even teach you
anything. Like you had to be
fucking tip top Magoo before you would ever get into those ropes. Yeah,
absolutely. And that was the,
the whole goal is to run you off that, you know, weed out the week, read out
the week. Yeah. And then
if you went through all of that and you were still there, okay, well, this kid,
you know, you know,
let's see what he, you know, let's see if we can teach him how to do this. But
there was that big
weed out process. And that was, you know, I think Buzz's whole deal, his whole
deal was a scam from the
start. I mean, you know, he, he wanted the money and he knew, you know, what he,
you know, back then
we had territories before Vince kind of, you know, took it nationwide, you know,
Texas had a
territory, California had a couple of territories, Oregon, you know, and guys
just went 2000 bucks
in 86, a lot of money, money. That's a lot of money for a kid in college on,
you know, on a
scholarship. I didn't have shit. I sold everything I owned, you know, so you're
fucked. How do you go
from there? So, uh, you know, I, I lived in my car for a little bit, uh, you
know, bounced in bars,
collected a little money here and there, just did whatever I could just to, you
know, keep eating and,
and keep training and, and, and did what I did, what I could. And I knew, so
the Von Erichs ran Dallas,
that was their, that was their, their, their, world, world-class championship
wrestling. And I knew that
they were in the office on Wednesday, like they would come in there and book
the cards and the guys would
come in, get their paychecks and shit on Wednesday. So every Wednesday for
about eight months, I would go down
there and I'd sit in the lobby and fucking guys would come right, walk right by
me. Not even, not even
acknowledge my presence. Every Wednesday, every Wednesday for eight months, I
went and just sat
there and eight months. Did you ask to speak to anybody? Yeah. So there was,
there was a referee back
there. His name was Bronco Lubitsch. He was the only one that would speak to me.
Right. And they would be
kind of like, yeah, you're here again, huh, kid? I was like, uh, yes, sir. Mr.
Lubitsch. I was,
you know, hoping maybe I'd get a chance to talk to somebody today. All right,
well, just good luck,
you know? And then I would sit there and, you know, I'd walk by and try to like,
you know, as they,
somebody would come through, you know, I'd kind of start to stand. Fuck. They
ever stopped. Just,
it just blew me, blew right by me one day. Like I was, I was right at the end
of my ride. I was like,
fuck, this is not, I'm not getting anywhere here. And, uh, Fritz Von Erich.
Now the, the, the patriarch of the family, right? The guy that owned the
company came in and he,
and he walked in and he stopped and he looked at me like, and I started to, you
know, once again,
I started to get up, you know, and introduce myself and he turned around and
went into Bronco's office
and he had a deep gravelly voice and I could hear him. And he's like, he's like,
who's that kid out
there? And, uh, he's, uh, he's been coming here for months. He's just trying to
get booked. And I heard,
heard Fritz go book him, book him Friday night. I want to see what he can do.
He looks just like David,
one of his sons that he had lost. I looked, I looked a lot like David and that's
how, that's how
I got my first break. Wow. Cause I was in the right, you know, I was in the
right place at the right
time. So had you ever practiced? No, I was practicing. I mean, yeah, I mean, I
was, but I'd never had a,
I'd never had like a real match. Right. I mean, I'm just, uh, you know, every
little outlaw,
independent kind of deal that I could get, I was doing, but I hadn't worked
with top guys or,
you know, when you say like outlaw independent, like, so you were doing some
matches, I was doing
some matches, but not, not professional, like not televised, not for, for a
real company. Right.
It's just like some jackass, like, okay, I'm a wrestling promoter. I'm going to
go to the Knights of
Columbus hall and see if I can put 20 people in here. You know, that's the kind
of shit you would do.
And then you have to go for no money. And then, you know, you'd set up the ring,
whatever you had
to do, but the, the wrestling, the time in the ring was what was so valuable at
that point is getting,
getting those reps and getting that stuff. So, and then, so they booked me and,
uh, I don't know if
you've heard of Bruiser Brody. Yes. Yes. Tough guy, uh, in anybody's standards
back then, especially
is my first match. Right. So now I'm a pretty respectful guy and, and, and, and,
and I'm sure in
any industry, you know, even when you, you know, a new comic, you, you pay
respect to the older guy.
I mean, it's just the way it should be. And it, and the way it really was back
then, especially,
you know, in our business, you know, you just, you didn't say much, you spoke
when spoken to kind of deal.
And, uh, so I, I'm Bruiser Brody, Bruiser Brody is my first professional match.
Right.
So, wow. I don't know. I'm 20, 21,
maybe. And, uh, I'm, you know, I'm in the ring and I'm looking at him. I'm like,
fuck, I'm bigger than he is. This is the shit that's going on in my head. Right.
I'm so nervous. Like you couldn't have drove a nail up my ass with a sledgehammer.
I'm so nervous to
start with, but I'm looking at like that, that, that stupid voice in the back
of my head is like,
you're fucking bigger than he is. You know, cause Bruiser Brody was bigger than
life, man. He had all
that hair and he was just fucking, he was just a man. He was an animal. Right.
So bell rings and
I, boom, I tie up with him collar and elbow and, you know, I jam him up into a
corner and, you know,
he's like, Hey kid, lighten up a little bit, kid, you know, relax. But I'm just
like,
I mean, my body's like angle iron, right? I'm so just, anyway, so I go to shove
him
and my hands, you know, we're kind of hand fighting a little bit and my hand
slips off and I kind of,
you know, I kind of palm him in the, in the, in the face.
Temperature in the room changed a little bit at that moment.
So we tie up again and I'm about to shoot him across the ring and I shoot him
across the ring and I'm
yelling like I'm gonna hit him with a clothesline. So as I tell him the clothesline,
right? He comes
off the ropes like, like a bullet, like a six foot five, 300 pound bullet. And
he kicks me square in my
fucking jaw.
My, my eyes roll back in my head. And next thing I know, he's grabbing me. He's
like, let's go for a walk.
Right. So he throws me out of the ring and, uh, throws me down on this table
and, and the place
called the sportatorium in Dallas, they've torn it down now, but they had the
folding chairs that had,
they were metal, but then they had the wood slats. Fuck. He takes this chair
as hard as he, you know, and not the, we're not talking about the metal folding
chairs, which hurt
enough in their own right. When you get hit enough times with them, he swings
as hard as he can. This
chair just fucking explodes. Wood slats fly all over the place. I'm thinking I've,
I've never been hit so
hard, man. I've been hit, you know, but I'd never been hit that hard by
anything at that point. He throws
me back in the ring, ties me all up in the ropes, right? I'm greener and shit.
Don't know what the hell
I'm doing. And he just starts hitting the other ropes and come in and just
kicking me as hard as he
can in the head. Wow. Oh my God. And I deserved it. You know, I mean, he was
giving me a lesson that I
needed to learn. Anyway, a couple of minutes later, boom, he pins me and you
know, that was it. We go
back, you know, we go back to the dressing room and I'm like, holy shit. I just
got the shit kicked out
of me. And, uh, I went over to him. I was like, Mr. Brody, thank you. You know,
he said, all right,
kid, just, you know, relax next time. Will you? I was like, yes, sir. I just
appreciate, you know,
being in the ring with you. And, you know, went back off from my corner to kind
of gather where I was.
And, you know, and I could over him telling the promoter, he's like, fuck, you
ought to,
you ought to book this kid some more. They were trying to find someplace else
to send me.
He said, that kid, that kid's going to be something. And, uh, but you know, at
the time,
I was too green. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. So I had to go
somewhere else. But
that was my first, my first, uh, introduction into, into wrestling. And I,
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Rogan Experience.

The Inspiring Story of How The Undertaker Started Wrestling

I was in college. I was a basketball player, right? And my coach tells me, hey,
Mark, there's
some European scouts that are interested in you. Maybe after next year, they
may want to give you
a tryout. European pro basketball, right? But they all say they'd like for you
to be a little bigger
because of the style they played back then. Okay, so I start lifting weights. I'm
six foot eight,
two-thirty, two-forty, which in the '80s is huge for a basketball player. So I
started
training. In the European league, were they just more physical?
Yeah. It was like Rick Mahorn and Bill Lambeer on the gas. They were just
monsters. So I started
training and I'm trying to put on size and strength. I met this guy in the gym
who was like,
every day I'd come in. He goes, hey, he goes, man, I'm going to go and I'm
going to get in this
wrestling. Why don't you do wrestling with me? And I was a big wrestling fan as
a kid.
But as I got into, you know, basketball and football and everything else, I
kind of, you
know, I kind of drifted away. You know, I was just like, man, I think I'm gonna
go try to play
some pro ball in Europe. And he goes, man, you should really try and do this
with me, you know? So I kind of
start getting in touch with the product again, you know, I kind of start
watching again and I got no
clue. I don't think, you know, you know, I'm kind of get fall back into it
again. Right. Like, oh,
that's kind of cool. It's different. And I think one of the things that's
helped me through my career
is, is being a realist in what my talents are and what my talents aren't. And,
you know, I was like,
you know, kind of start having these conversations with myself, like, even if
you do make a team, you know,
I mean, how long do you really have? Right. And being 21 and sitting on the end
of the bench in
Lithuania just really didn't, wasn't that appealing of a, you know, you know, I'm
trying to weigh it up against
what I'm seeing on TV. Right. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, because you got
the Von Eriks and you got Hogan.
And I'm like, well, these guys are huge household names, you know? So I'm
thinking maybe I ought to
give it a try. So we find this guy by the name of Buzz Sawyer to, to train us.
Right. And I got to
come up with two grand and I ain't got a pot or a window to throw it out of.
Right. So I, I get my
brother, my oldest brother to co-sign a loan, hock everything I own and come up
with two grand to pay
Buzz Sawyer to train, train me to wrestle, show up to his house, uh, first
morning of training. Right.
And Buzz was a, he was a, he was a good amateur, really good amateur and, uh,
show up at his house,
knocking on the door, knocking on, there's about 10 of us standing out in the
front yard, knocking on
the door. Finally, fucking door swings open. What the fuck you want? Right. He's
saying her butt ass naked,
woke him up out of a day. He's just standing there naked. And it was like, uh,
we're here to train.
And he goes, Oh fuck. Is that today? Yeah. You know? And, uh, so he, he gets,
uh, another guy that
was staying there with him. His name was Perry Jackson, who I'm friends with to
this day. Uh,
he's just go out there and warm them up. Right. So he goes out there and we run
and do all, just,
I mean, everything they can do to blow us up and run us off. Right. Totally gassed
out
about two hours. Just nothing but cardio shit. Right. Finally, Buzz comes out.
All right. Everybody line up, you know? All right. Everybody get down amateur
position. Right. So,
you know, everybody gets down. Fucking, he just stretches the shit out of
everybody. Right. Like
cross-faced fish. Fucking, you know, chicken wing and just, just hooking
everybody and rolling them
around in the, in his front yard. Right. That was it. Right. Then he goes in
the house. So yeah,
y'all come back, you know, a couple other days. So this goes on for weeks. And
like, every time I
show up, there's like one less guy that shows up, they just like fucking until
I was the last one
there. So I'm the last one there. I knock on the door, knock on the door. Fuck.
He never answers.
Right. So I start peering in the windows. Fucking all the furniture is gone.
Everything's gone. He's
gone. He's gone to a different territory to work. He just left. Right. Never,
never learned any pro wrestling.
He was just teaching you wrestling wrestling. He was just teaching me. Yeah.
Obviously he,
we signed up for pro, you know, to get to teach us how to pro wrestling, but he
just came out there
and his whole goal, and this is the way it was back then, is they always try to
take your money
and then they try to run you off. You know, most of the guys in that era were
all shooters. You know,
they were all, you know, they were all good amateurs. Right. And that was what
they would do.
They would take your money, then they'd hurt you, twist you, you know, try and
get you to quit.
And they got your money and they're, you know, they didn't have to worry about
it.
There's some wrestling trainers that were famous for like crazy physical
training standards before
they ever taught you anything, like Karl Gotch. Oh yeah. I'm sure you know who
Karl Gotch is.
Karl Gotch, who is, uh, not just a wrestler, but one of the, he's like one of
the legends of catch
wrestling. Yeah. And catch wrestling is like, uh, so it's a lot like submission
wrestling that you see
in the U in the UFC or in jujitsu, but it's a very like wrestling oriented. So
instead of like,
whereas jujitsu maybe would be, uh, I don't want to say it's less technical,
but it's more violent.
Like it's a lot of snapping people down and cross facing and guillotines and 10
finger
guillotines. And there's still a lot of like, um, uh, Sakuraba was like one of
the legends of MMA
learned from, uh, another catch wrestler in Japan. And a lot of guys who like
Josh Barnett is another
one who's a big, uh, catch wrestling, uh, enthusiast. He, his style is all, and
he, you know, he submitted
a lot of like really elite guys, but Karl Gotch was famous for making, you had
to, you had to be able
to do crazy shit. Like, I think you had to do a thousand body weight squats.
You had to be able
to do like, you had to do all these things before he would even teach you
anything. Like you had to be
fucking tip top Magoo before you would ever get into those ropes. Yeah,
absolutely. And that was the,
the whole goal is to run you off that, you know, weed out the week, read out
the week. Yeah. And then
if you went through all of that and you were still there, okay, well, this kid,
you know, you know,
let's see what he, you know, let's see if we can teach him how to do this. But
there was that big
weed out process. And that was, you know, I think Buzz's whole deal, his whole
deal was a scam from the
start. I mean, you know, he, he wanted the money and he knew, you know, what he,
you know, back then
we had territories before Vince kind of, you know, took it nationwide, you know,
Texas had a
territory, California had a couple of territories, Oregon, you know, and guys
just went 2000 bucks
in 86, a lot of money, money. That's a lot of money for a kid in college on,
you know, on a
scholarship. I didn't have shit. I sold everything I owned, you know, so you're
fucked. How do you go
from there? So, uh, you know, I, I lived in my car for a little bit, uh, you
know, bounced in bars,
collected a little money here and there, just did whatever I could just to, you
know, keep eating and,
and keep training and, and, and did what I did, what I could. And I knew, so
the Von Erichs ran Dallas,
that was their, that was their, their, their, world, world-class championship
wrestling. And I knew that
they were in the office on Wednesday, like they would come in there and book
the cards and the guys would
come in, get their paychecks and shit on Wednesday. So every Wednesday for
about eight months, I would go down
there and I'd sit in the lobby and fucking guys would come right, walk right by
me. Not even, not even
acknowledge my presence. Every Wednesday, every Wednesday for eight months, I
went and just sat
there and eight months. Did you ask to speak to anybody? Yeah. So there was,
there was a referee back
there. His name was Bronco Lubitsch. He was the only one that would speak to me.
Right. And they would be
kind of like, yeah, you're here again, huh, kid? I was like, uh, yes, sir. Mr.
Lubitsch. I was,
you know, hoping maybe I'd get a chance to talk to somebody today. All right,
well, just good luck,
you know? And then I would sit there and, you know, I'd walk by and try to like,
you know, as they,
somebody would come through, you know, I'd kind of start to stand. Fuck. They
ever stopped. Just,
it just blew me, blew right by me one day. Like I was, I was right at the end
of my ride. I was like,
fuck, this is not, I'm not getting anywhere here. And, uh, Fritz Von Erich.
Now the, the, the patriarch of the family, right? The guy that owned the
company came in and he,
and he walked in and he stopped and he looked at me like, and I started to, you
know, once again,
I started to get up, you know, and introduce myself and he turned around and
went into Bronco's office
and he had a deep gravelly voice and I could hear him. And he's like, he's like,
who's that kid out
there? And, uh, he's, uh, he's been coming here for months. He's just trying to
get booked. And I heard,
heard Fritz go book him, book him Friday night. I want to see what he can do.
He looks just like David,
one of his sons that he had lost. I looked, I looked a lot like David and that's
how, that's how
I got my first break. Wow. Cause I was in the right, you know, I was in the
right place at the right
time. So had you ever practiced? No, I was practicing. I mean, yeah, I mean, I
was, but I'd never had a,
I'd never had like a real match. Right. I mean, I'm just, uh, you know, every
little outlaw,
independent kind of deal that I could get, I was doing, but I hadn't worked
with top guys or,
you know, when you say like outlaw independent, like, so you were doing some
matches, I was doing
some matches, but not, not professional, like not televised, not for, for a
real company. Right.
It's just like some jackass, like, okay, I'm a wrestling promoter. I'm going to
go to the Knights of
Columbus hall and see if I can put 20 people in here. You know, that's the kind
of shit you would do.
And then you have to go for no money. And then, you know, you'd set up the ring,
whatever you had
to do, but the, the wrestling, the time in the ring was what was so valuable at
that point is getting,
getting those reps and getting that stuff. So, and then, so they booked me and,
uh, I don't know if
you've heard of Bruiser Brody. Yes. Yes. Tough guy, uh, in anybody's standards
back then, especially
is my first match. Right. So now I'm a pretty respectful guy and, and, and, and,
and I'm sure in
any industry, you know, even when you, you know, a new comic, you, you pay
respect to the older guy.
I mean, it's just the way it should be. And it, and the way it really was back
then, especially,
you know, in our business, you know, you just, you didn't say much, you spoke
when spoken to kind of deal.
And, uh, so I, I'm Bruiser Brody, Bruiser Brody is my first professional match.
Right.
So, wow. I don't know. I'm 20, 21,
maybe. And, uh, I'm, you know, I'm in the ring and I'm looking at him. I'm like,
fuck, I'm bigger than he is. This is the shit that's going on in my head. Right.
I'm so nervous. Like you couldn't have drove a nail up my ass with a sledgehammer.
I'm so nervous to
start with, but I'm looking at like that, that, that stupid voice in the back
of my head is like,
you're fucking bigger than he is. You know, cause Bruiser Brody was bigger than
life, man. He had all
that hair and he was just fucking, he was just a man. He was an animal. Right.
So bell rings and
I, boom, I tie up with him collar and elbow and, you know, I jam him up into a
corner and, you know,
he's like, Hey kid, lighten up a little bit, kid, you know, 