Name: Joe Rogan Experience #1603 - Brendan Schaub
Uploaded: 2021-01-29T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1603 - Brendan Schaub' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #1603 - Brendan Schaub' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-29. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #1603 - Brendan Schaub

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Trained by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Woo!
That's nice.
Are we up?
Oh.
Just tell me about that watch.
What is that?
This is a Hoyer from 1950.
1950?
Yeah, so before Tog bought Hoyer.
Is it Tag or is it Tog?
It depends.
My dad always told me Tog.
Oh, okay.
Might be Tag though.
Well, it's spelled T-A-G.
It could be Tog.
Yeah.
Tag, Tog.
But before they collabed with them or went into business with them, it was just
Hoyer.
So this is a 1950 Hoyer.
Wow.
That's pretty cool.
That's an old fucking watch.
Super old, man.
That's kind of cool.
Halfly haunted.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
There's something cool about that, right?
Having something that's that old.
Oh, and no one else, you know, you're not going to see a lot of it.
I like shit no one else has.
Yeah.
Kind of like cars.
You know the same with cars.
Do you have to wind it every morning?
Yes.
Is it one of those?
It's annoying, but it's worth it.
What do you got there?
Is that Omega?
No, it's a Grand Seiko.
This is a winder, too.
You have to wind this thing, too.
It's got a spring drive.
It shows you on here like when it's winding up.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
Yeah.
You know Matt Farah from the Smoking Tire?
Yeah.
He turned me on to Grand Seikos.
They're great.
Dude, it's such a beautiful design.
Their whole company, like the way they design watches.
So they call it Zeratsu.
This is like hand-polished finish they do.
They take it to like the ultimate detail level.
If you get two into watches, it's going to get expensive.
Yeah.
Well, didn't you give your boy Lex Friedman a watch?
Yes, I did.
I gave him my favorite watch.
I would give you this one, but my wife gave me this from 1950.
I just can't do that, dude.
Yeah.
Don't give me that watch.
Just buy the company.
Just buy the company.
Just buy the company.
Well, Lex had this bullshit watch that he bought from Amazon.com for like 20
bucks.
Dude, what are you doing?
It's giant like a Frisbee.
It looked goofy in his nice suit and everything.
You know, he dressed so nice.
And I was like, you need a real watch.
And then I was a little drunk.
I was like, I'm going to give him my watch.
Yeah.
It's my favorite watch, too.
It's like, because it has a moon on it.
Was it Omega?
Yeah.
It's an Omega Speedmaster Moonface watch.
I love Omegas.
I do, too.
And the moon phase watch has a high resolution, a tiny, high resolution image
of the moon.
And it shows you the exact position of the moon in the sky.
That's cool.
So, like, when the moon is like at half moon, it shows it on the watch.
When it's at full moon, it shows it on the watch.
But, like, when you see it.
See if you can get an image of that.
Does he know watches?
Was he stoked?
Or was he like, oh, cool.
I don't know how much he knows about watches.
Probably went home and looked it up.
But it was legitimately my favorite watch.
But just because of the moon phase aspect of it.
Plus, it's just Omega is a classic company.
And it's not too showy.
Like, Rolex is very showy.
Like, if you have a Rolex, it's like you want to let everybody know.
But they're great watches.
Nothing wrong with it.
Some would say the best.
But it's like, it's become too almost pop culture.
Like, mine, I have a Submariner from 1991.
That's the black band version of it.
But it's very similar.
The one that I have, the steel band.
So, see that image of the moon?
Yeah.
I mean, it's like a perfect image.
Like, high-resolution image of the moon.
Just very tiny.
What color band was yours?
Metal?
Metal steel.
It's all steel.
Yeah.
So, it's basically the same watch, just with a steel.
That was the watch.
That's it right there.
Didn't Russell Peters give you a watch?
He did.
A Breitling, right?
Yeah, a Breitling.
And I wear that watch every time I do a special.
Oh, that's cool, man.
Yeah.
So, you paint it forward.
From 2014, I did my 2014, 2016, and 2018 specials.
I'm all wearing the Russell Peters watch.
That's so cool, man.
Yeah.
Have you been getting up much around here?
Yeah.
I've been doing, well, obviously, I was doing those shows with Dave until he
got the coosies.
And what was that?
It was shows here?
Stubbs Amphitheater.
Okay.
Stubbs has a 400-seat amphitheater.
And so, we tested the entire crowd.
And then, someone in Dave's circle, not related to the show, got COVID and was
hanging around
with Dave.
Got Dave sick.
Got three or four other people sick.
Radio Raheem got sick.
The photographer's son got sick.
I don't know if the photographer got sick.
A lot of guys got sick.
Did you and Elon get it?
No.
No.
Elon already had it.
Okay.
Elon had it in the past.
And a lot of people were saying that his girlfriend, Grimes, gave it to Dave.
That's not true.
No.
It was another guy that gave it to Dave.
His girlfriend, Grimes, had gotten over it already long before, like several
days before
she got to the show.
You, yeah, you, I don't know.
Maybe you have the blood type or you're just built different where you're just,
you're not
the guy who's going to get COVID.
I don't know, man.
You would have got it by now.
We'll see.
I was at a show with several people that wound up getting COVID.
Because I went to this show and I didn't expect that it was going to be like so
COVID-y.
Everybody was just jammed.
You can feel it.
Out here, bro, people don't give a fuck.
They just go out.
You should see Florida.
Yeah.
Oh, I know.
Dude, I did a show for New Year's Eve.
I walked out and there's, it was just, everyone's together and I come out, I'm
like, do you guys
not get the news?
Like, listen, I'm pretty loosey-goosey, but this is ridiculous.
And I see a guy making up with two chicks in the front.
I go, hey, hold on, stop.
Do you know each other?
They're like, no.
I'm like, what the fuck you doing, man?
They're not worried about it.
They're not worried about it.
No, they don't care, man.
Do you know about quercetin and zinc and all those different nutrients?
Yeah.
For people that didn't listen to the Mark Gordon podcast, I'd recommend.
You listen to it because there's actual peer-reviewed studies on quercetin,
which is something
called an ionophore, which gets ions into the cells.
And then you take that with zinc as a much higher absorption rate of zinc.
And according to Dr. Gordon, it essentially like stops viruses dead in its
tracks when
you, when you take this on a regular basis.
Even COVID.
Yeah.
And I'm, I'm just on, I have not wavered even a little on my vitamins.
Me neither.
I stay, unless I got COVID, right?
I was like the canary in the coal mine for comics.
You were there early.
I was the first one.
Yeah.
It seems to me like kind of everybody's going to get it.
Yeah.
At this point in time.
Be cool, man.
Yeah.
Be cool.
Yeah.
Everybody's going to get it.
Be cool.
Well, the people is like, when you get it, they're like, I want to yell at you
for being
irresponsible and for killing my grandma.
Kevin Hart's so much smarter than me because he got it.
And then announced six months later, like, Hey, I did have it a few months ago.
And I was like, all right, not a big deal.
Yeah.
You were like, while you had it, you announced it.
The day I got it, I was like, Hey, you got COVID.
I have a friend who got it and doesn't want Joey lit you up.
Well, Joey was lit and lighting me up for going and doing that show in Houston.
Joe Rogan, why are you going to Houston?
What the fuck are you doing?
You want to catch that shit?
Want to catch that shit?
Give it to your fucking friends.
Joey, come on.
Well, he's worried about getting it, you know?
And he should be with his health and his stature.
He should be, you know, because I have a family friend, my mother-in-law's best
friends, their
son got it.
He's 22, you know, out of shape, but he passed away from it.
Whoa.
Yeah.
He's 22.
22?
So there's like those outliers that you have.
How out of shape is he?
You know, pretty, you know, not like obese, probably 5'10", 280, 290.
That's not obese?
I mean, that's obese.
But I'm saying he's not like, you know, he's not on TLC 600-pound life or
nothing.
That's morbidly obese, though.
Yeah, great job.
That's, he's 100 pounds overweight.
Yeah, he's heavy.
Yeah.
Fuck, though.
That's crazy.
Yeah, shit happens.
22.
22.
22 heartbreaking, too.
That's what was, that's what's such a bummer, man.
It's like, we have such a problem with obesity in this country and poor diet,
and that
is the number one comorbidity factor, apparently, for COVID deaths, is being
overweight.
Should be a wake-up call.
Get in shape.
Jesus Christ, it should be.
But, you know, I've had overweight people on the podcast.
I'm like, you doing anything about it?
I can't wait for the vaccine.
Like, what about now?
What about now?
I went to Tim Dillon's house to pick him up because he was co-hosting King of
the Sting
with me.
I go to pick him up because he lives pretty close to me.
He goes, come in, check out the new pad, man.
We go into this room, and there's workout equipment.
He goes, so here's my elliptical that I stare at every morning.
There's my treadmill that I like to take pictures of.
I'm like, you don't use them?
He's like, nah, I just, I don't know, man.
I got him here, though.
He needs a trainer.
That's what he needs.
You know, he contacted me after Ralphie May died and after someone else died.
Someone else died.
I forget who it was.
Who's, like, a bigger person?
Another comic died.
And he was like, you know what?
I got to do something.
I got to do something.
He was scared about it.
Like, he did King of the Sting.
He was like, how many people are in the room?
I was like, we have Chappelle, Kat, Chin, and Nick, and Theo.
He's like, all right.
And was like, you got to get rid of these people.
Like, but they've had it, dude.
They have antibodies.
He's like, I don't care.
I don't want all those people in there.
Why don't you guys just test?
You don't test people?
Yeah, we do.
Yeah?
Yeah, we test all the time.
And, you know, with Showtime, my shows at Showtime, they test like a month.
I get tested all the fucking time.
So why don't you just test before the shows?
And then he doesn't have to worry about it.
Well, he doesn't have to worry about it because all those people already had it.
Right.
Everyone in there has had it.
And he's still weird enough.
Yeah, but whatever made him feel comfortable.
You know, I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
Yeah.
Well, I'd hate for Tim to get sick and die.
Oh, yeah.
Protect him at all costs.
At all costs.
I love this fucking Tim Dillon.
The new video of him as the new health secretary, the transgender lady from
Pennsylvania.
He's so funny.
And his whole dispute with Airbnb.
Yes.
He's banned from the app.
I told him, like, dude, I don't know if I'd make, like, threats to the many of
the...
Stuff happens, Brendan.
He doesn't give a fuck.
He does not give a fuck.
Because people die all the time.
Stuff happens.
He does not give a fuck.
Play that.
Please play that.
My name is Rachel Levine.
I'm the Biden administration's new secretary of COVID.
And many young people aren't wearing their masks because they don't think it's
lit.
But I'm telling you right now, you can turn up and have a great party even with
your masks on.
And I'm no stranger to partying.
I love jellies and buttons and black beauties, Abyssinian tea, candy, tranks,
circles, erasers,
wolfies, jellies, moggies, valleys, eggs, school bus.
I love a little Aunt Nora, french fries, liquid X, blind squid, cat valium,
green jet, special K, super acid, African salad, herbal speedball, electric Kool-Aid,
sugar cube, purple haze, yellow sunshine, big cheese, caps, seal it up.
Alice boomers, caps, cow patties, fungus, tweezies, yellow fever, velvet, Skittles,
triple C, magic mint, and bath salts.
So listen, kids, your new health secretary isn't an old fuddy-duddy.
I like robo-tripping as good as the next person, okay?
The safest thing you could do is wear your mask, get vaccinated, and then let's
fucking get this party started right.
Also, after a short battle with COVID-19, the president of the United States,
Joe