Name: Tim Dillon's AirBnB Saga
Uploaded: 2021-02-21T00:05:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon's AirBnB Saga' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon's AirBnB Saga' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-21. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience. I was thrown off Airbnb this is a fact you did not
support me on that I did you did not you said he should have done the dishes
this
was your quote Joe but you shouldn't have been thrown off of Airbnb okay well
you shouldn't leave dirty dishes Joe we pay a $450 cleaning fee oh Airbnb at
450 they do the scam now they call it COVID cleaning which is fake because
regular cleaning and COVID cleaning are the same thing cleaning is cleaning you're
not going in there with hazmat suits what do you mean what what why didn't you
just clean the place because this is a vacation are you supposed to clean the
plates I don't know what the rules are but I don't like the service if that's
the
case I want feel like you should be able to leave not if I if I pay $450 for a
cleaning fee you should and the thing is there were two lesbian women and I
mentioned that and that's why I was kicked off Airbnb because I mentioned
there I mentioned they were Elizabeth and they had a horribly designed house
and
they should have maybe asked a gay guy or someone to fix it but well as a gay
guy
would have you done what would you have done rather to fix it well all the
furniture where you couldn't sit in it was like art pieces all of the furniture
was like it was like a little you couldn't sit in or Tony Hinchcliffe couldn't
sit in Tony Hinchcliffe is a bird he can perch on things I'm a human human I'm
an
American human we can't sit on a fucking leather cowhide chair it's an
art piece like this is it was wrong with the piece it was like it was a chair
of
like sticks with like leather cowhide they were these weird stools you take
pictures I took all the photos I put them on my Instagram was like these are
these
things these are not for human beings these are for like lesbians to drink tea
and perch and whatever but like I'm lesbian so why do you why do you care about
their sexual orientation that's why you because they're insufferable they were
insufferable they wore little hats and had a dog little hats they had little
weird hats and they had a dog do you like big hats yeah dogs I not the they had
like a weird
Weimaraner I just knew who they were I knew who they I could see the photo and
what I knew
they were and they probably saw my photo when I hate that fat conservative fuck
or whatever even
though I'm really in the middle politically and even weight wise but in this
state but they got
mad at me and they got me off Airbnb because I discussed this on my podcast in
a colorful manner
and like I quote unquote threatened to burn their house down as a joke I'm not
burning your house
it's a bit I'm not gonna burn your house up but I said like watch your back who
knows what happens
to joke but these women don't get jokes and I it's not my fault but like to to
to give me a horrible
review how did they find out that you talked about them online on your show it's
a decent-sized
show so I think yeah yeah it's big I mean it's it when okay you you guys win
but it's big enough
where if we say something on it it got back to them one of their minions told
them and they were
uh first of all they asked me to give them a good review which you're not
allowed to do in the Airbnb
process right before I wrote the review that I've never given anyone a bad
review on Airbnb I don't
do it I'm not a rat they texted me and said hey our cleaning lady came had a
stroke lol but
just give us a good review and I'm like she said lol yeah I was like I don't
know why she had a stroke
because it's literally dishes has your cleaning lady not encountered dishes
before there's no uh
uh if like they took black light and scan the walls they wouldn't be surprised
there's nothing
I even left them a tartar sauce and said use it because we didn't use it kind
so yeah but dick I
mean look at that I like it these oh god of course of course you do this is
mental
list what's that hole in the wall do ayahuasca is that a fireplace yeah which
you can't use because
they're not insured for it what is that square hole it was a fireplace that you
can't use it's
weird dude it's a fireplace it's like chest level it's a cold environment isn't
that a weird i mean
aren't fireplaces supposed to be on the ground floor like why is it is that
really house is that's
really a fireplace i mean they're culturally appropriating native america it's
just the
whole thing maybe they're native american you don't know they are not how do
you know because
i've seen them but what about elizabeth warren that's a good point but i was
fireplace is in a
weird place it's weird the whole house is weird it's a pizza house is weird and
i just left there
was a few dishes in the sink show me that picture again and the and the review
of me was like this
guy was a horrible guess they said i broke a cactus which is literally
impossible you can break
cactuses how we're like crunching the spikes with my hands when you're on ecstasy
yeah i mean these
these these i don't understand what i'm looking at correct so there's like a
log thousand tonight
1200 tonight i like it i got it i'd stay there oh no i really would it's
absolutely repulsive i would
sit in those chairs and joshua joshua tree is a litter box for drug addicts no
it's for people who like
to do mushrooms oh enough get a get grow up and get a real drug problem take a
percocet at your office
okay not everything has to be a journey to hyperspace not everything but some
things
sure i just am a fan of pill heads and coke heads i like people that are
productive but you're in
joshua tree that's the place where psychedelic people go oh and i used to do
acid and go to a bar
like a person right right right yeah i didn't i didn't have to if i i would be
a subprime mortgage guy
i would do acid and i would cross over like if i did dmt i would go and when
you meet the aliens and
they give you all the information about how the world is about i would have
tried to sell them
condos you know i would have brought them into my world i like it relaxation
happens here i bet it
does yeah washing dishes that sounds i don't like the bars on the chair it was
horrible like sitting
on that the the where i wouldn't know where to put my hands i'd probably put
them below those
metal bars this is really look at that lady i like how she's sitting fuck wait
go back to the pool was
cold can you go back to that picture that lady's hot i like that this is well
they're fat phobic
she's nate she's naked yeah this is what they're trying to do here they're
upset that human beings
is that abandoned their apartment it's it's hard to tell because it's in black
and white but she's
hot i like how she's just reading she's like even though i'm hot i just want to
educate myself
yeah this is another lady this is who yeah that's that's a real yeah that's
real look at the guy
look at the six pack he hasn't eaten in months that's realistic that guy's
shredded and he's
hanging out with a super hot girlfriend there's a few dishes in that sink tim dylan
i want to buy
this house this is a great place can you stop i like it yeah that oh it's a
high five yeah that's
a high five oh is it yeah it's a high fidelity this was not it was not conducive
to having fun at all
i didn't when manson was running around killing people that was the shit i didn't
say anything bad
about it look at that view you can see the cactus and the coyotes oh isn't that
good i love it i
you loved it so much you moved states i would listen i could look at this i
mean come on that's that's
that's we're starting to get crazy talking to the wrong guy i love this house i
know i love the chairs
well listen i don't look at the chair look at that chair i don't believe in
backs to chairs because
i have good posture look at how i sit i left four dishes and these people
treated treated me
didn't you just clean those four dishes because i'm paying a massive cleaning
fee this is save that
money no no no you have to pay it it's free you have to you're forced to is
that the cactus you broke
no that's a cactus it was broke when i walked in was it broke it was because
somebody was probably
i don't know shoving their pussy it was broke when i walked in the most epic
hallway you've ever seen
yeah is that really is that the most epic hallway you've ever seen i've been to
some nice houses
that's not true i like that espresso machine though i like a lot of this time i
like this house it's all
fine i like this house a lot it's all fine the women were out of control and
again uh if you look
at my review i said nice things i think i've always said nice days on to uh lesbians
i i've always said nice
things and they just said to me like i was a horrible guest if you look at
their review of me
they said i was a horrible guest why were you horrible well they said i i left
the house in
disarray and i broke the cactus and whatever nobody broke anything you know
what you should do well you
can't do it anymore because you're not an airbnb anymore but you should just
make a video of you
leaving the house and then no one can say well i'd like to get back on airbnb
because i i made them
i did i spent money on there and that's where i would go and use to travel and
not do hotels i would
do airbnb especially when you have an opener and you have people you come up
with people have a whole
podcast producer nice yeah it's much better nice food so i'd like to go back on
airbnb but we'll see
what happens that's okay is there an avenue for reconciliation i don't believe
so these ladies
whoever you are ladies tim's a good guy and i'm your fan i'm a fan of you i
like what you did with that
place i like it i like the the chairs with no backs to them i like it i like
the weird chairs yeah i like your
view i like your house look at that you can sit out there by the pool and watch
that guy with the
ripped abs and his girlfriend i mean this is like this is like a fema tent no
it's not that's not
it's not you're getting tarantulas and lizards and scorpions the whole thing it's
a nice little
pool it's a beautiful view look those people are enjoying it why can't you
enjoy it they're not real
those people don't exist the hot guy and his hot girlfriend they're real they're
not real they don't
exist they work out at the on a gym they're right down the street they hired
these people these are
not a mile away from us we can visit them right now you're a Hollywood elitist
i speak for americans
but i live here i know but that doesn't matter i speak for americans who make
hot dogs and sometimes
leave the plates of the thing because we're paying a 450 cleaning fee and i
just think that we should be
able to you should be able to come in and clean it you know what i mean you
love the house so much you
clean it ladies so anyway i'd like to get back on there but i won't i won't be
allowed and that's
okay too because i maybe they will let you back on i would imagine not i
violated some safety protocol i
don't know which uh protocols the safety one which one is the same the one
where you can't threaten to
burn down people's homes i think i spoke to my lawyer he said to just leave it
alone my lawyer was like just
leave it alone because i don't know what you're doing i'm like i'm in a high
octane war with a
few desert lesbians few guys there's two desert dykes that are gunning for me
and i'm gonna keep
i'm gonna ride this till the wheels go off and my lawyer's like hey man what
are you doing so what
am i doing i'm boosting up my podcast yeah i'm i'm i'm trying to fight the good
fight that's just tell
him yeah how do you think i get a good point no so i mean i didn't involve alex
jones could have
chose not to don't do that i'm kidding that's nuclear that's a nuclear option
that's a nuclear
option yeah don't don't because he'll find some reason he'll say the airbnb
didn't exist yeah but
we'll figure out if i might connect you to the globalists yeah satanists yeah
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of the joe rogan experience

Tim Dillon's AirBnB Saga

the Joe Rogan experience. I was thrown off Airbnb this is a fact you did not
support me on that I did you did not you said he should have done the dishes
this
was your quote Joe but you shouldn't have been thrown off of Airbnb okay well
you shouldn't leave dirty dishes Joe we pay a $450 cleaning fee oh Airbnb at
450 they do the scam now they call it COVID cleaning which is fake because
regular cleaning and COVID cleaning are the same thing cleaning is cleaning you're
not going in there with hazmat suits what do you mean what what why didn't you
just clean the place because this is a vacation are you supposed to clean the
plates I don't know what the rules are but I don't like the service if that's
the
case I want feel like you should be able to leave not if I if I pay $450 for a
cleaning fee you should and the thing is there were two lesbian women and I
mentioned that and that's why I was kicked off Airbnb because I mentioned
there I mentioned they were Elizabeth and they had a horribly designed house
and
they should have maybe asked a gay guy or someone to fix it but well as a gay
guy
would have you done what would you have done rather to fix it well all the
furniture where you couldn't sit in it was like art pieces all of the furniture
was like it was like a little you couldn't sit in or Tony Hinchcliffe couldn't
sit in Tony Hinchcliffe is a bird he can perch on things I'm a human human I'm
an
American human we can't sit on a fucking leather cowhide chair it's an
art piece like this is it was wrong with the piece it was like it was a chair
of
like sticks with like leather cowhide they were these weird stools you take
pictures I took all the photos I put them on my Instagram was like these are
these
things these are not for human beings these are for like lesbians to drink tea
and perch and whatever but like I'm lesbian so why do you why do you care about
their sexual orientation that's why you because they're insufferable they were
insufferable they wore little hats and had a dog little hats they had little
weird hats and they had a dog do you like big hats yeah dogs I not the they had
like a weird
Weimaraner I just knew who they were I knew who they I could see the photo and
what I knew
they were and they probably saw my photo when I hate that fat conservative fuck
or whatever even
though I'm really in the middle politically and even weight wise but in this
state but they got
mad at me and they got me off Airbnb because I discussed this on my podcast in
a colorful manner
and like I quote unquote threatened to burn their house down as a joke I'm not
burning your house
it's a bit I'm not gonna burn your house up but I said like watch your back who
knows what happens
to joke but these women don't get jokes and I it's not my fault but like to to
to give me a horrible
review how did they find out that you talked about them online on your show it's
a decent-sized
show so I think yeah yeah it's big I mean it's it when okay you you guys win
but it's big enough
where if we say something on it it got back to them one of their minions told
them and they were
uh first of all they asked me to give them a good review which you're not
allowed to do in the Airbnb
process right before I wrote the review that I've never given anyone a bad
review on Airbnb I don't
do it I'm not a rat they texted me and said hey our cleaning lady came had a
stroke lol but
just give us a good review and I'm like she said lol yeah I was like I don't
know why she had a stroke
because it's literally dishes has your cleaning lady not encountered dishes
before there's no uh
uh if like they took black light and scan the walls they wouldn't be surprised
there's nothing
I even left them a tartar sauce and said use it because we didn't use it kind
so yeah but dick I
mean look at that I like it these oh god of course of course you do this is
mental
list what's that hole in the wall do ayahuasca is that a fireplace yeah which
you can't use because
they're not insured for it what is that square hole it was a fireplace that you
can't use it's
weird dude it's a fireplace it's like chest level it's a cold environment isn't
that a weird i mean
aren't fireplaces supposed to be on the ground floor like why is it is that
really house is that's
really a fireplace i mean they're culturally appropriating native america it's
just the
whole thing maybe they're native american you don't know they are not how do
you know because
i've seen them but what about elizabeth warren that's a good point but i was
fireplace is in a
weird place it's weird the whole house is weird it's a pizza house is weird and
i just left there
was a few dishes in the sink show me that picture again and the and the review
of me was like this
guy was a horrible guess they said i broke a cactus which is literally
impossible you can break
cactuses how we're like crunching the spikes with my hands when you're on ecstasy
yeah i mean these
these these i don't understand what i'm looking at correct so there's like a
log thousand tonight
1200 tonight i like it i got it i'd stay there oh no i really would it's
absolutely repulsive i would
sit in those chairs and joshua joshua tree is a litter box for drug addicts no
it's for people who like
to do mushrooms oh enough get a get grow up and get a real drug problem take a
percocet at your office
okay not everything has to be a journey to hyperspace not everything but some
things
sure i just am a fan of pill heads and coke heads i like people that are
productive but you're in
joshua tree that's the place where psychedelic people go oh and i used to do
acid and go to a bar
like a person right right right yeah i didn't i didn't have to if i i would be
a subprime mortgage guy
i would do acid and i would cross over like if i did dmt i would go and when
you meet the aliens and
they give you all the information about how the world is about i would have
tried to sell them
condos you know i would have brought them into my world i like it relaxation
happens here i bet it
does yeah washing dishes that sounds i don't like the bars on the chair it was
horrible like sitting
on that the the where i wouldn't know where to put my hands i'd probably put
them below those
metal bars this is really look at that lady i like how she's sitting fuck wait
go back to the pool was
cold can you go back to that picture that lady's hot i like that this is well
they're fat phobic
she's nate she's naked yeah this is what they're trying to do here they're
upset that human beings
is that abandoned their apartment it's it's hard to tell because it's in black
and white but she's
hot i like how she's just reading she's like even though i'm hot i just want to
educate myself
yeah this is another lady this is who yeah that's that's a real yeah that's
real look at the guy
look at the six pack he hasn't eaten in months that's realistic that guy's
shredded and he's
hanging out with a super hot girlfriend there's a few dishes in that sink tim dylan
i want to buy
this house this is a great place can you stop i like it yeah that oh it's a
high five yeah that's
a high five oh is it yeah it's a high fidelity this was not it was not conducive
to having fun at all
i didn't when manson was running around killing people that was the shit i didn't
say anything bad
about it look at that view you can see the cactus and the coyotes oh isn't that
good i love it i
you loved it so much you moved states i would listen i could look at this i
mean come on that's that's
that's we're starting to get crazy talking to the wrong guy i love this house i
know i love the chairs
well listen i don't look at the chair look at that chair i don't believe in
backs to chairs because
i have good posture look at how i sit i left four dishes and these people
treated treated me
didn't you just clean those four dishes because i'm paying a massive cleaning
fee this is save that
money no no no you have to pay it it's free you have to you're forced to is
that the cactus you broke
no that's a cactus it was broke when i walked in was it broke it was because
somebody was probably
i don't know shoving their pussy it was broke when i walked in the most epic
hallway you've ever seen
yeah is that really is that the most epic hallway you've ever seen i've been to
some nice houses
that's not true i like that espresso machine though i like a lot of this time i
like this house it's all
fine i like this house a lot it's all fine the women were out of control and
again uh if you look
at my review i said nice things i think i've always said nice days on to uh lesbians
i i've always said nice
things and they just said to me like i was a horrible guest if you look at
their review of me
they said i was a horrible guest why were you horrible well they said i i left
the house in
disarray and i broke the cactus and whatever nobody broke anything you know
what you should do well you
can't do it anymore because you're not an airbnb anymore but you should just
make a video of you
leaving the house and then no one can say well i'd like to get back on airbnb
because i i made them
i did i spent money on there and that's where i would go and use to travel and
not do hotels i would
do airbnb especially when you have an opener and you have people you come up
with people have a whole
podcast producer nice yeah it's much better nice food so i'd like to go back on
airbnb but we'll see
what happens that's okay is there an avenue for reconciliation i don't believe
so these ladies
whoever you are ladies tim's a good guy and i'm your fan i'm a fan of you i
like what you did with that
place i like it i like the the chairs with no backs to them i like it i like
the weird chairs yeah i like your
view i like your house look at that you can sit out there by the pool and watch
that guy with the
ripped abs and his girlfriend i mean this is like this is like a fema tent no
it's not that's not
it's not you're getting tarantulas and lizards and scorpions the whole thing it's
a nice little
pool it's a beautiful view look those people are enjoying it why can't you
enjoy it they're not real
those people don't exist the hot guy and his hot girlfriend they're real they're
not real they don't
exist they work out at the on a gym they're right down the street they hired
these people these are
not a mile away from us we can visit them right now you're a Hollywood elitist
i speak for americans
but i live here i know but that doesn't matter i speak for americans who make
hot dogs and sometimes
leave the plates of the thing because we're paying a 450 cleaning fee and i
just think that we should be
able to you should be able to come in and clean it you know what i mean you
love the house so much you
clean it ladies so anyway i'd like to get back on there but i won't i won't be
allowed and that's
okay too because i maybe they will let you back on i would imagine not i
violated some safety protocol i
don't know which uh protocols the safety one which one is the same the one
where you can't threaten to
burn down people's homes i think i spoke to my lawyer he said to just leave it
alone my lawyer was like just
leave it alone because i don't know what you're doing i'm like i'm in a high
octane war with a
few desert lesbians few guys there's two desert dykes that are gunning for me
and i'm gonna keep
i'm gonna ride this till the wheels go off and my lawyer's like hey man what
are you doing so what
am i doing i'm boosting up my podcast yeah i'm i'm i'm trying to fight the good
fight that's just tell
him yeah how do you think i get a good point no so i mean i didn't involve alex
jones could have
chose not to don't do that i'm kidding that's nuclear that's a nuclear option
that's a nuclear
option yeah don't don't because he'll find some reason he'll say the airbnb
didn't exist yeah but
we'll figure out if i might connect you to the globalists yeah satanists yeah
something catch new
episodes of the joe rogan experience for free only on spotify watch back
catalog jre vide