Name: JRE MMA Show #103 with Max Holloway
Uploaded: 2021-02-27T00:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #103 with Max Holloway' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-27. Transcript available. Joe is joined by former UFC Featherweight Champion Max Holloway.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'JRE MMA Show #103 with Max Holloway' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-27. Transcript available. Joe is joined by former UFC Featherweight Champion Max Holloway.

JRE MMA Show #103 with Max Holloway

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
And we're rolling with the Blessed Express.
What's up?
My man.
Good to see you, my friend.
Good seeing you.
How's things?
Things are good, you know.
I just, how's things with you?
I heard like pipes are busting and heat and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah, it was pretty wild out here a week ago.
And then it was 80 two days ago.
It doesn't make any sense.
So a week ago, it was frozen solid.
And then a week later, 80 degrees.
Mother nature, she's cruel at some point.
Yeah, but well, Texas gets weather, you know.
It's very different than California.
With California, it never rains.
And basically, like once a year, you get a little bit of rain and that's it.
Here, you get thunderstorms and you get lightning and, you know,
and it gets cold as fuck sometimes.
But this was real unusual.
Yeah.
Like once every 120 years are saying.
I know, I was tripping out.
I was like, when I saw everything happening and then my agent,
because last week he was supposed to come through.
Yeah.
And he said, like, it's getting pushed back.
It's getting pushed back.
And I was like, I was, and I was like, I look at the weather shit.
I was like, Texas don't ever get this kind of weather.
What the hell is going on?
I thought I was wrong.
I was like, do I not follow up with the weather in Texas?
Dude, it was crazy.
The roads, it, first of all, it was 32 degrees and raining.
So it's just at the time where it freezes, but not quite.
It didn't quite freeze.
So, and then it got really cold at night.
So all the roads were covered in ice everywhere.
The black ice.
I saw that one that got a hundred, like I had a hundred car pile up somewhere
over here.
Yeah.
I think that was near Dallas, right?
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So then snow laid on top of the ice and made it even slipperier.
It was crazy.
Like no one could get anywhere.
It was wild.
So we just went to the supermarket, got food and hunkered down the family.
We got lucky.
Our power didn't go out, but a lot of our friends' power went out.
And so we just, we just hung out in the house for seven days and just chilled.
I know the hotel that I was at when I first came in, I was just tripping out.
Cause like, uh, I came from LA and Hawaii is like, we got locked down and stuff.
And then I come walking in.
It's like, what was it?
12 o'clock.
I got into the hotel last night and people is just raging.
They're just partying downstairs at the local bar.
I was like, what?
I was like, is this real life?
You know?
And then, uh, and then I talked to the guy at the front desk and then he was
talking to
me about the weather.
And I was like, yeah, crazy.
He was like, yeah, we was, we was full pack.
He was like, we was so crazy.
We have generators and stuff.
So we still had hot water and, uh, electricity and all stuff.
And then it came to a point where we only allowed people who was staying in the
hotel buy food
from us.
Cause like, and you only could like order two stuff was like, there was telling
me crazy
stuff about that.
Yeah.
We had friends that their, their house went out.
So they got a room with the Four Seasons and they said it was two hours for,
for room service.
And Four Seasons is usually the best ever.
Yeah, exactly.
So that, that's crazy.
I know.
And then even like with the rain and stuff off, we was talking about that
mushroom stuff.
So it was just, it was just funny stories.
Yeah.
It's, uh, they get weather here, but I've never experienced it like that here.
I've been coming here since 1999.
And apparently all my friends who've lived here their whole lives, they've
never seen
anything like it.
It was just random that it happened the first year I moved here.
I mean, maybe you bring the thunder.
Maybe, maybe you're like, Texas get ready.
This is what the hell I'm bringing here.
Listen, as long as they get ready for it, you know, I grew up in the cold.
I grew up in Massachusetts.
So, you know, as long as they have plows and they, they have salt and they know
how to
handle it.
You could, you could have snow.
Yeah.
You was just, so this is Joe.
It's a day of Joe.
When this happens, like if I can simmer down, everybody get ready.
Let's just go down.
Well, I have a truck that's built for this shit too.
I have a Land Cruiser.
Oh yeah.
Toyota, 1995 Toyota Land Cruiser.
Like an apocalypse vehicle.
Yeah.
With a 40 gallon gas tank and big tires.
And I talk about the two football field bunker underneath your house, wherever
you live, right?
I need to get that.
That's, that's probably my next move.
I need to get a ranch in some sort of sustainable environment.
It just seems like the more shit gets weird in the world, whether it's COVID or,
or this,
or, you know, whatever could be next.
Like you gotta have enough food and water so you could stay alive for a while.
Yeah.
They said that.
What was that?
What is that show?
There's a show on TV, right?
Disaster people, whatever the people.
Preppers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Apocalypse people.
Like that.
Yeah.
Doob day preppers.
Yeah.
That's what it's called.
And like what they had, they have like, they say it's like, I think so the
minimum is to
have like one and a half to two years worth.
So you know, you're going, I'm like, what?
That's so crazy.
Well, they have that dried, I have some dried food for like hunting, like
backpacking food,
like, you know, like it's freeze dried or dehydrated.
I have some of that stuff that's in my house too.
So if worse came to worse, we could eat that for a few months.
Yeah.
You'd be all right.
You know, I mean, I mean, you'd be all right.
You're like a caveman.
You're like a modern day caveman that came from the moon or something.
So you'd be fine too.
I watch all the stuff you'd be doing.
You'd be all right.
Well, there's a lot of deer in my neighborhood too.
I got my eye on those motherfuckers.
Like right now, they're just like cute deer, but if shit gets ugly, they're
food.
Yo, Bambi, get over here.
There's a lot of them though.
They're all over the place.
You might be helping.
You might be helping it out.
You know, they might be infestive.
A lot of them froze to death.
Oh, for real?
Yeah.
A lot of them froze to death.
My friend has a buddy who owns a ranch in South Texas and they have this animal
on there
called a Neil guy.
Yeah.
Neil guy is an Asian animal.
I think it's from India.
It's a huge antelope, like the size of an elk.
Oh, nice.
They found 63 of them frozen to death on his ranch.
So far, they're still finding them.
I know, before you came, I was talking to a security guard and the other boy
out there
and I was telling them, like I saw a possum.
I saw a video, like there's a video that goes viral, like of a possum climbing
up the fence
and he froze, like in Texas somewhere.
Like it froze on the fence.
And I was like, holy shit, that's how cold it gets, you know?
Like people don't understand that this possum.
And then we was talking about, does the possum live after it's unfrozen?
Because they know how to play, you know?
I don't think so.
Is this it?
There it is.
There it is.
Oh, shit.
Frozen is shit.
He's frozen.
That's crazy with like, he's frozen in the middle of climbing the fence covered
in icicles.
Yeah.
It looks like he's got his legs stuck.
You see that?
Look at his right leg.
See how it's poked through?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he might have got his legs stuck and then it's too cold to figure out a
way to get out of it.
Wow, that's dark.
How crazy, though.
But does it just, you know, like they're like playing dead, though?
Uh-uh.
No, not at all.
No, no.
Because he's talking about like, he's telling us that like, there's a study
going around with like scorpions.
Like, they can be frozen and then like a week later, you unfreeze them and they're
alive.
That's the thing with frogs, too, right?
Didn't someone on the podcast explain that to us in the past about certain
frogs?
They freeze to death and they thaw out and they're still alive.
I mean, yeah, it could have been David Blaine when he was talking about them in
his stomach.
But in Florida, all the lizards freeze and fall out of trees and they come back
to life.
Do they?
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, in Florida, you got to be careful because when it gets cold, iguanas will
knock you out.
Yeah, it's like coconuts.
It's like every time, every time I'm at the beach, every time I'm at the beach
with my boys and stuff and we go by where the lifeguard, there's the lifeguards.
And I'm like, there's coconut trees and I start sitting down and then one of
them said I'm like, Max, get the hell away from that.
I don't want to be the guy that like, oh, he was hanging out with you when he
got hit in the head with a coconut.
Yeah.
Do you know 150 people die every year from coconuts?
No.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, 150 people.
How much people does people die from iguanas?
I don't think a lot.
How long do you think a frog can last frozen?
Because it's a lot longer than a week.
Really?
Really?
Frozen solid?
We should get a frozen frog in here and do an experiment.
It's actually, it's called a wood frog, if that helps.
I'm going to say three months.
Max?
I'm going to go much longer than a week, he said.
I'm going to go maybe eight months.
Seven months.
Seven months frozen solid.
It says Alaska, they go down to as low as zero degrees.
They're frozen and then when spring arrives, they thaw out and hop away.
What?
Jesus Christ.
Animals is weird, bro.
Nature finds a way, man.
Yeah, you got to adapt.
They've been, like, frogs have been, frogs have probably some dinosaurs.
They've been around a long time.
Yeah, so, you know, they're like, oh, fuck these guys, you know, even like
cockroaches.
Have you ever seen those things called tardigrades?
Do you know what a tardigrade is?
I have no idea.
It's this tiny little, they call them something bears too, right?
It's a tiny little microscopic animal that looks like an alien and they can
survive in space.
They can survive anywhere.
So these things, they could literally, they could go to the moon if they were
attached to a rocket.
Water bear.
Water bear, yeah, you go.
And you see what they, show Max a photo of them, but they can survive in space.
Mike, are you serious?
They look like they're from space.
They do.
Look at that picture right there.
Like, that doesn't even look real.
Like, if that was in a Dune movie and it was chasing people, like, look at its
mouth.
Yeah, and that looks like, that looks like the, uh, in Avengers.
Yeah.
You know, you know what I mean?
Yes!
When they came down and the thing was flying the ship, that's what it looks
like.
That's exactly what it looks like.
Look at that fucking thing.
That's a real creature.
How big is it?
It's very, very small.
Like, I don't even think you could see it.
Oh my God.
It's microscopic, right?
Right.
Yeah.
Um, but they can survive in space.
How did they find out that they survived in space?
I don't know.
I don't know.
0.5 millimeters.
0.5 millimeters.
So, a half a millimeter.
So, you kind of can see it.
You just barely.
Yeah, but you don't feel crazy looking there.
How does a tardigrade survive in space?
Because that was the thought that they could, like, hitch a ride on an asteroid
or on, you
know, they could hitch a ride on a...
No, that's how they came here.
Probably.
We went to the moon.
They went, they saw Neil Armstrong's damn shoe.
It's like, I'm going with this.
I'm out of here.
This is boring.
What the hell is this?
And they just came...
Hitch a ride on his foot.
Yeah.
And then they're just, like, beep, boop, boop, sending information back up.
They're like, yeah, these motherfuckers are stupid.
You know, that's one of the theories of how life came to Earth.
It's called panspermia.
They think that life came to Earth on an asteroid, and that asteroids contained
the building
blocks, like amino acids and stuff.
The building blocks of life came from other planets and landed here, and then
the process
of life began.
That's insane.
I mean...
It's a wild theory.
I mean, what do