Name: Why Jim Breuer Quit SNL
Uploaded: 2021-03-20T02:36:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why Jim Breuer Quit SNL' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Why Jim Breuer Quit SNL' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-20. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience I didn't even want SNL I didn't want SNL you and I
both know that was a nobody came out ago and that's the greatest gig it's very
rarely people came out they come out of it like they were in a fight absolutely
like they just got out of a fucking bar fight absolutely exactly that's how
Phil Hartman was when I first started working with Phil Hartman in 94 he had
just left SNL and he it took a while for him to be comfortable around us like
the news radio people the actors were super friendly everybody liked to get
hammered that was like the big thing we would get fucking blasted drunk yeah
but
we were all like really like in terms of like actors genuinely supportive like
Dave Foley was the most supportive guy ever like he was always writing jokes
for
you he was always like rewriting scenes for you like Jim why don't you come in
and say this instead well he would write like really great lines but Phil was
like
he like he was in a competition at first he thought like everybody was gonna be
competitive and he once he relaxed Phil like to smoke weed and once he relaxed
he's
like you know going over there was like everything was like dog eat dog and
everybody's at each other's throats it's dog eat dog it's and there's no rhyme
or
reason yeah there's no rhyme or reason it's it's just like politics in other
words I can't help with Congress what bill they're gonna pass even they know
even
they know this is gonna work nope same kind of stuff it's the same exact thing
you're fighting to get your bits on right you're fighting to get your pieces on
you're fighting to get your your little sketches on yeah and the worst the the
the worst part is you know something's gonna work and you have someone come to
you towards the end it made me such a dark human being because I I'm the hey
man
let's all yeah let's all be a team and I used to when I when I worked with hats
I
said let's look at this roster holy crap let's see who goes in the Boston
Comedy
Club let's just buy a script and put everyone in it and let them play to their
strength wow you know this one I'm like I wish I had the business smarts to go
back
and do that because you're it would have been it would have been so much fun I
mean maybe it would have been disaster maybe this guy maybe I would have ended
up
getting leather pants I got my fucking white lion leather pants but it makes
you
so you know I I don't want to remember you never got memory never got bitter
but
you understood that bitterness is an option correct and I start smoking intense
amount of pot yeah just to numb myself I remember you told me you quit and you're
like dude I'm hearing voices I think the government's following me you went so
far I went far I would Jim quit and but then I talked to you like oh he might
have
went into never never land he went he went into the land of no return well when
you start thinking that the government is watching you non-stop yeah non-stop
they're on me because they know I think by myself it's like the scene in
Goodfellas fucking love that scene but um I will say this yeah I have have you
returned to the fold I haven't returned the way I have in the past but a
little bit but I have I have you will never see me it's very private you have
you're a private weed smoker yeah how does that work in other words I don't do
it
with people anymore because it keeps the paranoia away because I don't trust
anyone oh I don't trust anyone I still don't and I haven't smoked smoked I like
I
went a little bit I went out to Colorado and the five little milligrams and the
ten
little fives are nice those little edibles oh my fives nice yes just have that
yeah and
then have like a martini mmm martini extra dirty not too dirty I like it dirty
I like it I like it not
crazy dirty but a little dirty little dirty I like that olive juice it's
delicious I do too so here's
what happened my wife this is why this is why my wife's a powerhouse she when
you find someone that
don't give a shit about the industry and they only care about you it's very
hard as
as as an artist that's chasing a star did you're always chasing the star and
you're
always chasing the mansion she would go I'll never forget she's like why don't
you
just quit like I seriously are you stupid you don't quit sign a live Dallas and
she's
like look at you you come home you're miserable they control everything they
steal your ideas
this one stole I saw in my own two eyes how they treated you in this how do you
steal your
ideas here we go I'll give you sure you don't want to get high first no let's
go take a pee break
let's take a pee break no here's and again I've released all this okay you know
I got a strong
moral backbone I'm good so no I don't have any bad feelings what happened was
and I'm not going to put
out and I don't want to hash names and all that but what would happen is
something like this you're
writing a sketch and then one of the head writers would come in in the doorway
and go hey I see
you're writing a sketch about blah blah blah because we have the main server
and we check
everyone's sketches I just want to let you know I'm writing the same thing he
goes you can continue
yours but you know I'm in the room with Lauren I'm just whoa oh yeah so this is
that so they would go
onto the server they would see the sketches that you're writing and then then
there was then there
was times where a cast member would come in and look at look at my board and go
oh what does that mean I go oh
that's that's a that's a sketch and I know so-and-so's come in and I know the
ratings are going to be high
high that week so I'm waiting to bring my A stuff for that everyone's going to
come out with their fangs
out when this one's on so I'm going to save that sketch for when they're on and
then this person would
ask me oh my god what exactly I said well I'm going to take it out of its
element you know like for
back then I was like Pesci and I'm like Pesci's going to read to children about
Rudolph the red-nosed
reindeer and tell explain why his nose is red and the big joke is because he's
a rat and I compare it
to a whole neighborhood he's a rat that's why his nose is red when you go and
so you end up beating
certain kids and blah blah blah the next week the whole room is set and and you're
sitting there and then this
person you know Lauren goes next sketch is uh you know Al Pacino a Scarface
reading to school children
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer and you go you you and you look you see their
their eyes are down
you know what's going on you know what happened you can't say anything well
when you say something
which I eventually did dude I think I may be and I want to challenge all SNL
cast and writers I may be
the last one that threatened violence I was in I was in a room with one of the
guys and I literally said
I will knock your fucking teeth down your fucking throat you motherfucker if
you don't want to
fucking be here get the fuck out you don't shit on my shit because you don't
want to fucking oh dude
whoa and I was and I told him I'm knocking the fuck I'm knocking his fucking
teeth down his
door I'm not I'm not from the writing world so that's where that place brought
me
wow and so and that particular instance was see now I'm getting all over that's
gotta be coming from the top
down because the when when I got alone with phil like phil and I became close
and you know we would
hang out together especially in his dress room he had a nice dress room had it
all set up had a guitar
looking at his aviation books and shit and and he would uh we would talk about
his time there and he's
like it just made me that's just bitter and angry yes yeah but it seems like it's
always been that way that
it's been from the top down and and this particular year were you on 95 to 98
so you were on right after
Phil left yeah because I was with Phil in 94 and so when that person did that I
then went up to them and I
waited and I was like you motherfucker he goes I didn't no I didn't take it now
this one also is getting
more air time because they're in with this specific head writer oh and then the
head writer comes to me
hey man leave him alone I go hey man stop him from stealing well you know I don't
care what he does
just leave him alone during my sketches like why you do so you're it's like you're
in high school
and so yeah it's it makes you and then yeah I remember doing something where I
played a drunk guy
and I didn't know exactly how to do but I I always wanted to be another Foster
Brooks so long story short
I want to do another Foster Brooks type thing so I did the character I'm not a
great writer I'm not
a good writer at all um but like I'll come up with the character and try to eat
and if we could put it
somewhere great and I remember the writer coming up saying yeah Lauren doesn't
like uh drunks because
it's you know the past and John and blah blah blah oh okay and then two weeks
later
John Belushi mean yeah I guess that's what he meant and then two weeks later it's
the drunk character like what dude what the it's just it's little things that
mind screw you like
that so by the time the big the big finale was towards the end you know someone
told me
you know what Sandler did Sandler went through this everyone went through this
comedians go through
this what you got to do is get on the update and you got to get in the uh do
everything you can to go
on the update and everything you can opening monologue because the head writers
can't mess with you
he goes that's that's not really that is so crazy that that's something you
have to think about
so then that's why I started doing it if you notice in 98 I started getting
more monologues
and then even there they were like we got this and then it was uh a final monologue
it was Matthew
Broderick and it was when Matthew Broderick was on and he he couldn't get
through some of the sketches
I was doing with him he'd start laughing and so when we went to he really
wanted to do this monologue
with me and this one these these particular head writers were like no we're not
doing it although
Matthew was like I want to do Jim's I want to do Jim and Tracy's and there was
two three sketches
we had together and he laughed during the dress like he couldn't keep a
straight face and then I remember
the head this particular writer had a problem with I never probably just didn't
like whatever you had
a hard on for me whatever I I can't I don't I don't understand ego if you got
an ego that is what
it is and he said um yeah it's too bad he laughed because now we don't know if
it works so that's
going to be cut and this is cut and listen we filmed the monologue it worked
but we're going to go
out my monologue during the air show I was like you know what man I'm gonna
talk to Lauren he goes no
you're not I said no I'm talking to Lauren now I'm not afraid to talk to Lauren
anymore because that's
another thing it's like you know I'll talk to the president don't talk to the
president they put this
so that he would say no you're not yeah I'm gonna talk to Lauren hundred
percent we'll talk to him
no we'll both go talk to him and then that's I knew right from that minute I
was done I knew I was done
and then that summer this guy named uh Gary Considine he ran the tonight show
and he said
what happened dude I said what's the matter he goes so and so and so and so are
are really saying
you're out and I went really I go well I'll tell you what I don't want to be
there anymore
my wife's like just please quit she goes you said in your life if any job no
matter how much money it
paid makes you a miserable human being and changes the person you are you weren't
gonna work there
she's like look at you you're angry all the time you smoke pot all the time to
numb yourself
you you're not Jim anymore where's the goofy uplifting Jim
and I wanted to I wanted to like you're so stupid but
but she was so smart she was so smart and it was the greatest and I give Lauren
a lot of credit
because Lauren said to me um Jim you're too nice for this business
wow and he said which I'll never forget it was a couple things Lauren said and
I never blamed Lauren
I always really admired Lauren I said uh oh he goes and if you ever want want
to do something I'm your
producer I'll produce it for you which I never took that opportunity up but I'll
never forget when he said
that to me so I was very thankful that he was understanding and let me go catch
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Why Jim Breuer Quit SNL

the Joe Rogan experience I didn't even want SNL I didn't want SNL you and I
both know that was a nobody came out ago and that's the greatest gig it's very
rarely people came out they come out of it like they were in a fight absolutely
like they just got out of a fucking bar fight absolutely exactly that's how
Phil Hartman was when I first started working with Phil Hartman in 94 he had
just left SNL and he it took a while for him to be comfortable around us like
the news radio people the actors were super friendly everybody liked to get
hammered that was like the big thing we would get fucking blasted drunk yeah
but
we were all like really like in terms of like actors genuinely supportive like
Dave Foley was the most supportive guy ever like he was always writing jokes
for
you he was always like rewriting scenes for you like Jim why don't you come in
and say this instead well he would write like really great lines but Phil was
like
he like he was in a competition at first he thought like everybody was gonna be
competitive and he once he relaxed Phil like to smoke weed and once he relaxed
he's
like you know going over there was like everything was like dog eat dog and
everybody's at each other's throats it's dog eat dog it's and there's no rhyme
or
reason yeah there's no rhyme or reason it's it's just like politics in other
words I can't help with Congress what bill they're gonna pass even they know
even
they know this is gonna work nope same kind of stuff it's the same exact thing
you're fighting to get your bits on right you're fighting to get your pieces on
you're fighting to get your your little sketches on yeah and the worst the the
the worst part is you know something's gonna work and you have someone come to
you towards the end it made me such a dark human being because I I'm the hey
man
let's all yeah let's all be a team and I used to when I when I worked with hats
I
said let's look at this roster holy crap let's see who goes in the Boston
Comedy
Club let's just buy a script and put everyone in it and let them play to their
strength wow you know this one I'm like I wish I had the business smarts to go
back
and do that because you're it would have been it would have been so much fun I
mean maybe it would have been disaster maybe this guy maybe I would have ended
up
getting leather pants I got my fucking white lion leather pants but it makes
you
so you know I I don't want to remember you never got memory never got bitter
but
you understood that bitterness is an option correct and I start smoking intense
amount of pot yeah just to numb myself I remember you told me you quit and you're
like dude I'm hearing voices I think the government's following me you went so
far I went far I would Jim quit and but then I talked to you like oh he might
have
went into never never land he went he went into the land of no return well when
you start thinking that the government is watching you non-stop yeah non-stop
they're on me because they know I think by myself it's like the scene in
Goodfellas fucking love that scene but um I will say this yeah I have have you
returned to the fold I haven't returned the way I have in the past but a
little bit but I have I have you will never see me it's very private you have
you're a private weed smoker yeah how does that work in other words I don't do
it
with people anymore because it keeps the paranoia away because I don't trust
anyone oh I don't trust anyone I still don't and I haven't smoked smoked I like
I
went a little bit I went out to Colorado and the five little milligrams and the
ten
little fives are nice those little edibles oh my fives nice yes just have that
yeah and
then have like a martini mmm martini extra dirty not too dirty I like it dirty
I like it I like it not
crazy dirty but a little dirty little dirty I like that olive juice it's
delicious I do too so here's
what happened my wife this is why this is why my wife's a powerhouse she when
you find someone that
don't give a shit about the industry and they only care about you it's very
hard as
as as an artist that's chasing a star did you're always chasing the star and
you're
always chasing the mansion she would go I'll never forget she's like why don't
you
just quit like I seriously are you stupid you don't quit sign a live Dallas and
she's
like look at you you come home you're miserable they control everything they
steal your ideas
this one stole I saw in my own two eyes how they treated you in this how do you
steal your
ideas here we go I'll give you sure you don't want to get high first no let's
go take a pee break
let's take a pee break no here's and again I've released all this okay you know
I got a strong
moral backbone I'm good so no I don't have any bad feelings what happened was
and I'm not going to put
out and I don't want to hash names and all that but what would happen is
something like this you're
writing a sketch and then one of the head writers would come in in the doorway
and go hey I see
you're writing a sketch about blah blah blah because we have the main server
and we check
everyone's sketches I just want to let you know I'm writing the same thing he
goes you can continue
yours but you know I'm in the room with Lauren I'm just whoa oh yeah so this is
that so they would go
onto the server they would see the sketches that you're writing and then then
there was then there
was times where a cast member would come in and look at look at my board and go
oh what does that mean I go oh
that's that's a that's a sketch and I know so-and-so's come in and I know the
ratings are going to be high
high that week so I'm waiting to bring my A stuff for that everyone's going to
come out with their fangs
out when this one's on so I'm going to save that sketch for when they're on and
then this person would
ask me oh my god what exactly I said well I'm going to take it out of its
element you know like for
back then I was like Pesci and I'm like Pesci's going to read to children about
Rudolph the red-nosed
reindeer and tell explain why his nose is red and the big joke is because he's
a rat and I compare it
to a whole neighborhood he's a rat that's why his nose is red when you go and
so you end up beating
certain kids and blah blah blah the next week the whole room is set and and you're
sitting there and then this
person you know Lauren goes next sketch is uh you know Al Pacino a Scarface
reading to school children
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer and you go you you and you look you see their
their eyes are down
you know what's going on you know what happened you can't say anything well
when you say something
which I eventually did dude I think I may be and I want to challenge all SNL
cast and writers I may be
the last one that threatened violence I was in I was in a room with one of the
guys and I literally said
I will knock your fucking teeth down your fucking throat you motherfucker if
you don't want to
fucking be here get the fuck out you don't shit on my shit because you don't
want to fucking oh dude
whoa and I was and I told him I'm knocking the fuck I'm knocking his fucking
teeth down his
door I'm not I'm not from the writing world so that's where that place brought
me
wow and so and that particular instance was see now I'm getting all over that's
gotta be coming from the top
down because the when when I got alone with phil like phil and I became close
and you know we would
hang out together especially in his dress room he had a nice dress room had it
all set up had a guitar
looking at his aviation books and shit and and he would uh we would talk about
his time there and he's
like it just made me that's just bitter and angry yes yeah but it seems like it's
always been that way that
it's been from the top down and and this particular year were you on 95 to 98
so you were on right after
Phil left yeah because I was with Phil in 94 and so when that person did that I
then went up to them and I
waited and I was like you motherfucker he goes I didn't no I didn't take it now
this one also is getting
more air time because they're in with this specific head writer oh and then the
head writer comes to me
hey man leave him alone I go hey man stop him from stealing well you know I don't
care what he does
just leave him alone during my sketches like why you do so you're it's like you're
in high school
and so yeah it's it makes you and then yeah I remember doing something where I
played a drunk guy
and I didn't know exactly how to do but I I always wanted to be another Foster
Brooks so long story short
I want to do another Foster Brooks type thing so I did the character I'm not a
great writer I'm not
a good writer at all um but like I'll come up with the character and try to eat
and if we could put it
somewhere great and I remember the writer coming up saying yeah Lauren doesn't
like uh drunks because
it's you know the past and John and blah blah blah oh okay and then two weeks
later
John Belushi mean yeah I guess that's what he meant and then two weeks later it's
the drunk character like what dude what the it's just it's little things that
mind screw you like
that so by the time the big the big finale was towards the end you know someone
told me
you know what Sandler did Sandler went through this everyone went through this
comedians go through
this what you got to do is get on the update and you got to get in the uh do
everything you can to go
on the update and everything you can opening monologue because the head writers
can't mess with you
he goes that's that's not really that is so crazy that that's something you
have to think about
so then that's why I started doing it if you notice in 98 I started getting
more monologues
and then even there they were like we got this and then it was uh a final monologue
it was Matthew
Broderick and it was when Matthew Broderick was on and he he couldn't get
through some of the sketches
I was doing with him he'd start laughing and so when we went to he really
wanted to do this monologue
with me and this one these these particular head writers were like no we're not
doing it although
Matthew was like I want to do Jim's I want to do Jim and Tracy's and there was
two three sketches
we had together and he laughed during the dress like he couldn't keep a
straight face and then I remember
the head this particular writer had a problem with I never probably just didn't
like whatever you had
a hard on for me whatever I I can't I don't I don't understand ego if you got
an ego that is what
it is and he said um yeah it's too bad he laughed because now we don't know if
it works so that's
going to be cut and this is cut and listen we filmed the monologue it worked
but we're going to go
out my monologue during the air show I was like you know what man I'm gonna
talk to Lauren he goes no
you're not I said no I'm talking to Lauren now I'm not afraid to talk to Lauren
anymore because that's
another thing it's like you know I'll talk to the president don't talk to the
president they put this
so that he would say no you're not yeah I'm gonna talk to Lauren hundred
percent we'll talk to him
no we'll both go talk to him and then that's I knew right from that minute I
was done I knew I was done
and then that summer this guy named uh Gary Considine he ran the tonight show
and he said
what happened dude I said what's the matter he goes so and so and so and so are
are really saying
you're out and I went really I go well I'll tell you what I don't want to be
there anymore
my wife's like just please quit she goes you said in your life if any job no
matter how much money it
paid makes you a miserable human being and changes the person you are you weren't
gonna work there
she's like look at you you're angry all the time you smoke pot all the time to
numb yourself
you you're not Jim anymore where's the goofy uplifting Jim
and I wanted to I wanted to like you're so stupid but
but she was so smart she was so smart and it was the greatest and I give Lauren
a lot of credit
because Laure