Name: Marcus Luttrell Remembers Real Life "Lone Survivor" Rescue
Uploaded: 2021-03-24T21:18:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marcus Luttrell Remembers Real Life "Lone Survivor" Rescue' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Marcus Luttrell Remembers Real Life "Lone Survivor" Rescue' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-03-24. Transcript available.

the Joe Rogan experience there's so much stuff that we kept from the story that
that if I told you you wouldn't believe me now when it came to the movie we
filmed it around the gunfight like what so we filmed it the movie around the
gunfight because that's when everyone was alive I was like you shouldn't have
known that I was gonna be the guy to make it out when they were picking the
actors I was like so if you get somebody like an a-list actor and then
everybody
they'll know that that he's the one that made it out I was like when you're
watching the movie you shouldn't know that of course Hollywood does kind of
kind of kind of does their own thing but the craziest part about that whole
operation was getting me out of there and that wasn't in the movie in the movie
they did a daylight daylight extract like they came in landed and a couple of
shots and they got out of there in real life it wasn't like that it was
unbelievable I mean there's a night and I mean the world was blowing up we were
in
this like a volcano like sitting in the middle of this volcano and I remember
looking down the mountain there's a there's a there's a river running down I
mean look like miles down and they had moved me they had to carry me I couldn't
walk and they kind of like and they we would stumble over the Green Berets
Rangers
it was a hodgepodge let me tell you something when them guys showed up to
rescue me when they found me I was laying in a in a riverbed dried up tucked
under a rock they the the villagers had shoved me underneath this rock and
there
was this one guy I had never met before and he was sitting there listening to a
AM FM
radio and he was scrolling through the channels we hand those out for morale
like
like the US military hands was that he had one of them I recognized it and he
was
listening to to the different channels and I could recognize the different
languages German and Japanese and he was like hey they're talking about you and
I
was like okay I didn't know who he was he's kind of messing with me a little
bit
because I couldn't move and he had this stinging anyways it's not important and
then um then the the Gulab and a couple they have the villagers came in and
pick me up
they had to carry me everywhere why why did they save you because in the movie
it's
confusing it is because in the movie it's like these guys save you and you
don't you don't know why they're saving you when he found me they have to fight
the Taliban yeah can you believe that crazy so I had been crawling for a day
and
some change I was like crawling through the mountains and I I had somehow some
way
got to the top of this ridge line I was so thirsty I mean I
thought about this
there's an insanity that goes with thirst I was so I was so thirsty that I was
willing to kill anything to get water I was good I mean you can't even believe
it
I was drinking my own urine my own blood nothing would quench the thirst God I
hadn't thought about this in a while and I got to the top of this ridge line
and there
was a waterfall and I was trying to slide down into it I was like I'm just
gonna go
down in here and I'm gonna hit that water and it's gonna be something good to
drink
so I tried to slide down I just took off I got uncontrollably I started sliding
I
rotated upside down and I remember looking over and my rifle was sliding beside
me I
couldn't throw that thing away it's like every time I'd lose it one of my boys
like hey
you're gonna need this and I flipped into upside down over backwards into the
river
and in my I remember my knees hit me in the face and it knocked me out again
and
I was kind of I mean I was I was blobbering mess everything was broken and I I
rolled
over and I remember kind of sitting on all fours I picked my head up and I
looked up
and there's that water fountain there and I remember sliding down this is the
craziest thing I hadn't thought about this and I remember seeing this little
pool of
water and I was like oh it'd be a great place to get something to drink so I
climbed I crawled back up into this thing and I leaned into that waterfall and
I
remember washing my face and hands my gloves were I had gloves on the mechanic
gloves and all the fingers were ripped out and then the palms were ripped out
so
I just kind of and it was the best water I ever had I'll never forget it it's
cold
and I was hurting real bad and I remember hearing somebody screaming at me and
I
kind of turned around over my shoulder there's a guy standing there looking at
me
pointing at me he was like Taliban Taliban so
so I swung around with my rifle and then all of a sudden behind me again there
was I could hear someone screaming at me they're like neighbors and I look up
and
there's this guy standing on the hill that I just fallen off of but he didn't
have a
weapon he was just pointing at me and then there were some guys on the ridge
line
moving around they had weapons I saw him so I turned back around and I kind of
started to crawl I was like man I was in a channelized area it was kind of bad
and I
remember I was leaning against this rock I was sitting on my my butt I had my
rifle
in my hand I was breathing I couldn't breathe I'd bitten my tongue in half and
I was like
that's crazy story but the guy screamed at me again I turned around to shoot
and he saw me and
he ducked behind this rock and then I mean right over my left shoulder probably
30
yards not even that I hear American American and I kind of turned around and
it was Gulab one of the main villagers rescued me and I turned around him I had
my gun at my hip my safety was off my tension was out of my trigger and he was
kind of looking I mean we were staring at each other straight in the eyes and I
I mean I was like like death you know how you can smell death when it's there I
was
like man okay let's go and uh yeah I don't know why I didn't kill him I don't
know why I didn't I didn't have to even go to my shoulder to kill him I mean I
had
the tension out of my trigger I was just sitting there looking at him he was
looking at me and he was he wouldn't say he said American a couple times then
he
said it again I was like Taliban and he was like American and then he kind of
put his hands up and I came off my trigger kind of wanting to kill him and he
started walking down on me he's like okay okay okay okay shampoo hydrate
shampoo
hydrate this was telling me shampoo I said two English words he knew I was like
shampoo hydrate you know how good that sounded I was like bro I would love some
water and if you want to wash my hair it's so funny so if you ever get into a
bad situation and you're about lose your mind just say shampoo and hydrate you'll
be fine dude can you believe that that's what he said to me that's crazy and I
dropped my muzzle down and he walked up on me and I pulled a grenade out I
pulled
the pin don't ever do that and I was gonna like if you try something I'll just
kill us all I don't care but then he kind of rolled me over and he's like it's
okay I gotcha you know I could just tell you know how when you can tell like
hey
man I got you I freaking got you you can feel that like you can feel if someone's
like hey man I got you and then I'm gonna jack you up later and this guy was
like man I got you man and I repinned that grenade I'll never forget I was like
I
heard you're not supposed to do I mean there's so much crazy stuff anyways all
these kids came running out from everywhere and they picked me up I
couldn't walk and they carried me down started carrying me down the ridge line
into the into the valley and there was a village down there and then the kids
everybody they were laughing and and whatnot and they pulled me into this room
and they started kind of doctrine they doctored me up stop my bleeding patch me
up gave me all the water I could drink and then the Taliban came in after that
and then snatch me up but so how much of what what was in the script I know you
didn't see the movie but how much of what was in the script was accurate every
bit of it
everybody died like in the movie when you see those guys falling down a
mountain
looks cool imagine going past cool to when it looks like chaos imagine playing
your
favorite sport on the side of a mountain people shooting at you it didn't look
cool
I was like it looked horrific sexy I mean I I it was terrible I mean like it's
getting ripped apart and like we would come in and you guys would just be like
man was shot in the face and it was kind of his eyes were gone
like I'm a medic
some of them were bad
some of them was bad
but then
you know I was like
I didn't know what to do I just started
I never knew what to do
isn't that crazy I was like man as well trained
I was like I got my ass in a pickle I couldn't get out
I didn't know what to do
and I would just sit there and there'd be times when I when I would talk think
about
my brother and all my buddies I was like hey man you guys are done stupid I'm
still
here come get me and then I could see aircraft flying overhead and I was like
I'm right here and they would just keep flying and then someone was trying to
kill
me like a wall would blow up or a bullet would zip through the wall and then
they'd have
to move me man it was a hell of a week it was rough
they left me in this hole for a while
they buried me
and uh
I was like man I'm a foreign man
in a foreign land everybody's dead
I mean who knows where I'm at
I was in hell
I was literally in hell
and if it wasn't for them
I mean and the way that whole thing worked out
I
it's funny what I talk about it's hard to
wrap your head around it right
like man why am I even sitting here
because y'all came and got me
I couldn't believe it
I couldn't believe it when y'all showed up
I signed up to be an expendable asset
to die if necessary
that was the sexiest thing I ever heard of
I was nobody
I'm you know
I have a special skill
I was
expendable asset
you work till you become dependable
and they'll kind of keep you around
so when y'all showed up
I couldn't believe it
I couldn't believe it
I remember talking to them guys like
man I can't believe y'all made it out here
we were out in the middle of nowhere
and then
and then
the first time I ever got like scared
was when they
when they were with me
and trying to get me out of there
I was like
hey man I hope y'all can get me out of here
is that selfish?
I was like
man I hope that's not selfish is it?
I was like
I sure would like to live man
and they threw
I mean it was a crate
to get me out of there
it's a whole different movie altogether
those Green Berets
and those Rangers
and PJs that were on that plane
on the heel of the pilots
like Spanky
he was one of the pilots
in Skinny
when they came in
they came in to crash
they don't ever talk about that
like he had to crash that bird
on the side of a mountain
to get in there
and he did it
he didn't give a shit
he's like watch this
boom
and just brought it in
I mean there was a gunfight
going on from the top
and the bottom
every aircraft we had
in country
was wagging
like spinning overhead
the specters
that's the hand of God
or the finger of God
I mean
the weapon rehab
man they can look down on you
and just erase you
and they got me out of there
I couldn't believe it
I hadn't thought about that in a while
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